Wet Wash Cloth/Chuck E. Cheese

So after 12 days of sun and spring temps, we're now back to the normal "razor blade" weather of the Pittsburgh area. I gotta get out of this dump.

Still got out for some quality road miles today. 3+ hours and 56 miles. Got rained on of course and a bit frozen... AGAIN! But Lodi Farms is coming up on the 14/15th so I gotta get my hours in, yet not over train or get sick. Felt like a cold, wet washcloth by the end. NOT good.

Ride Highlights:

1. Big ass turkey flying right in front of me going down Saxonburg Rd. They're unusually graceful flyers. And huge! MMMMMMMMMM turkey.

2. 44.5 MPH on a down hill. I don't know how the pros go even faster! NUTZ!

3. Friendly woman on a townie exchanged good mornings. No helmet but Orange hunting cap. Sweet!

Observed:

1. Pick up trucks with American Flags on the back window are to be avoided. Not sure they're fond of skinny, spandex-wearing cyclists. And mini vans with soccer ball stickers/Yellow/Pink/RedWhite and Blue ribbon magnets. "Über Mom" is never paying attention and always comes too close for comfort. Oh yeah, old people suck too. They tailgate FORever and then honk when they pass. Good honk? Bad Honk? I don't know it's just sucks.

2. Deer road kill, sans head. NICE SPINAL COLUMN!

3. Car with windshield sticker that just said: BITCH (you know I want one)

4. Truck with sticker that said: REDNECK In the same font as NO FEAR stickers. (Funny, I thought NO FEAR stickers did say REDNECK).



5. Hair salon called "The Barbara Shop"! Barbara should be ashamed of herself.

Chuck-E Cheese

Had to book home from ride to shower and make way to Monroeville for nephew's
B-Day party at Chuck E. Cheese. Surprsingly the pizza wasn't bad. B-Man and Wifey came a little late but B. had a great time on the sliding board, etc. Kid that worked there reminded me of DK's cousin-in-law that looks like Lupas/Lucas whatever from the Bad News Bears. Made mucho Mexican Del J-Man tonight. Enter one "Dutch Oven" for Wifey tonight. HA! sorry.

Other: Got the new Beck and the new Stereolab 3 cd/1dvd box set.
reviews to follow.

Concrete Thighs/Park Fuzz

Good:
The trails at Boyce were really in good shape! With all the rain I was prepared for the worst. Expected to do mostly hill repeats or just spin the pavement. But the single track was nice and tacky with just the usual mud pits.

Bad:
Soon as I started I could tell the legs were gone from yesterday's 3.5 hour ride in the cold and rain. Felt like my quads were filled with concrete.

It took all I had to finish a 12 mile loop. I went pretty easy. Even granny geared up some hills just to tack some time on and keep my heart rate lower. Kinda disappointed trails were good, the El Santo was on and I felt like crap-ol-la. So ended the ride at 1:20 to save some energy for Saturday and Sunday.

Worser:
So I’m packing up the car and a county park cop rolls by. I wave just not to look like a knob. He then park his car a bit down the way from me. I proceed to get out of my jersey that had chocolate Accel Gel smeared on the back pocket. (Looked like there was feecus on it) and I didn’t want to get it on the seat of the Soob. Annnnnyway... the cop swings his car around and blocks me in. I’m thinking that he thinks I’m gettin’ neked or something so I put on my t shirt and get out of the car to ask what’s up. He asks to see my registration, I ask “why” and he says “cause I don’t have a registration sticker on my plate. I say “yessss I do” to which he points and says “ah, no you don’t” CRAP! What happened? The sticker should have been put on by the dealer. So he looks at registration and says that “it’s no big deal but you could get pulled over”. CRAP!
Now I have to go get a form to order a new sticker. I could go without since I have a valid registration but I don’t want to get pulled over. I mean what if I get pulled over after have a couple beers or something. I don’t need any hassle from the man and end up like the Jeepster circa ‘93.

I love the automotive C-block he gave me too. I mean skinny assed, mountain bikers ARE the stereotypical car thieves. Oh well at least there was no ticket or cavity search.

The lessons learned: Make sure your sticker is on your plate. And oh yeah no more waves to coppers.

First Post of Real Worth/Wednesday's Road Ride

First official post.
Wednesday's road ride recap:
I was given the afternoon off by my boss to make up for the fact that I got a huge stressful project done last week and was working with a a real doofus. Anyhoo, I rolled out to my dads crib in Scottdale, PA. There’s limitless country roads and low traffic roads to road ride. Worth the drive.

My goal was 4 hours in the saddle. It was a chilly 55 degrees and partly cloudy but the forecast was for rain so I had my new Salsa rain jacket strapped to the PolarPak. I had plenty of my special mix of Hammer Perpetuem and Hammer Gel for fuel and the Polar bladder filled about 70% with water. I was sporting arm/leg warms and my Salsa cycling cap.

Ride was going well. Felt pretty good, found some new farm roads and some new WT roads. (White Trash roads. They’re not farm roads but are out in the middle of nowhere and are real “cars on blocks/couch on the porch/rabid dog tied to tree/muddy faced kid in nothing but a dirty diaper type roads). It was nice to get on some new roads regardless of the view or lack-there-of.

So about 2:45 into the ride, the wind kicks up, and it starts raining ephing sideways. I pulled off to put on the rain jacket, made sure my blinky light was on, threw a wiz and got moving. The temps seem to drop about 20 degrees. My hands were so numb I could barely feel my levers to shift. Water was rooster tailing right up the chamois like a cold water enema. The suffering was good for me, it’s not always gonna be sunny and 70 on race day, BUT I don’t want to get sick either with my first race 2 weeks away. So at 3:20 into the ride I aborted.

I Fell short of my 4 hour goal. But I suffered a bit and got over 55 miles in. When I rolled in to my Dad’s I went straight upstairs and took a hot 20 minute shower (sorry about that water bill dad!)

When I got back to my house, the sun was out and it had never rained. Wifey was out slinging law knowledge and the B-Man was with my in-laws so I washed the Trek, cut the grass, made dinner and did 3 loads of laundry. Does this count as cross-trainning? Thursday will see me violating IMBA rules and riding the Salsa on some muddy singletrack and dodging rain AGAIN! GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGreat.

Bloggers Lament

So this is it. Blogging? Who the hell's gonna read this stuff? Me I guess. I'll look back at the end of the season and see what I did and didn't do and what I can do better next year. Why am I doing this?? Freaking bored I guess. How I'm bored I don't know. Wife, kid, full time job and training 9 to 15 hours a week on the bike.

So what's with the Blog's title? Well as you all may or may not know, the pad inside of bike shorts is called a chamois. Spend too many hours in said shorts and that chamois can become soiled. Sometimes it mud, dirt , grime and sweat. Sometimes it's a nasty "cling on" from last night's Burrito El Grande. I know it's a bit sick. Welcome to my world.

I don't want any comments on my grammar and/or spelling. I am but a lowly graphic artist.

Gonna try to figure out the pict post stuff today. Try to spice this baby up.

I'll post again later with my more of an official post. I'll tell about yesterdays road ride in 60 to 45 degree temps, wind and rain.
ENTER: ONE SOILED CHAMOIS!!