Who Did I Piss Off??

As you know I NNNNEEEDED to get outside today. And I did. Had to be better than 2 hours on the trainer in the Stankment, right? WRONG!!

1. Get up, coffee up, fuel up, bowel out, chamois up, layer up and and out the door. Figured there's been a lot of snow melt and the ground is frozen solid by this a.m.'s 15 degree temps, so I'm heading into the woods to do some single track. (enter mistake one)

2. Get to Boyce. Looks like they must have got a little more snow and a little less melting than we had. Trails are covered in snow. How hard could it be? Hard.

Did about 3/4 of a mile. Had to do a couple of hike-a-bikes, took a pedal to the shin, took a piss and called it a day. Headed for the rail trail. Enter mistake two.

3. After hitting every red light from Monroeville to Lil' Boston I got to the rail trail 35 minutes later. The sun is out, there's not a cloud in the sky and the temps are up to about 22 right now. This should make for a nice flat tempo ride of 2 to 3 hours. Wrong!

4. The trails were covered with snow that was walked in, then frozen over. I was riding the Dos Niner with a 80mm Reba, a 1" Relish in my rear (that STILL sounds perverse to me) and BIG, F*cking FAT Panaracerer meats (hence forth known as my B.F.F. tires) and even with ALL that I shake, shook, rattled and bounced along like vibrator on hardwood. If I could JUST make it to some un-walked in snow it will be fine. WRONG! Enter mistake three.

5. I FINALLY got a few miles in and hit less of the frozen foot prints. The un-walked in snow was even harder to ride in. It was hard, crusty and giving way under my weight. It did force me to be "light on the pedals" and keep a fast cadence. So that was good.

There ware a couple thin XC ski tracks. I tried to stay in the tracks, but the B.F.F.'s were just too F.F. to stay in the groove. F*ck! If I could just make it to some hard pack snow it will be fine. Enter mistake four!

6. Finally someone had ridden what appeared to be a quad on the trail making for 2 nice, wide, hard pack trails to follow in. I was finally making time. I was up to a 8 mph! Keep in mind I usually average about 18 or 19 mph on the R.T.

I rode along feeling pretty good for about, oh, 5 minutes before I realized that I was NOT riding on hard pack snow. I was riding on hard pack ICE!!! I found this out the hard way when my B.F.F. front tire hit the side of the quad's trail and SLAMMED me down to the ice and snow. GREAT! My first crash of 2007 comes on possibly THEE easiest trails to ride on in the whole f*cking world.

So I get up, pick the snow out of my nose and start off again. Now I'm going much slower, careful not to hit the edge of the "hard pack". If I can just make it to the dump off to my road loop I can salvage the day and get some miles in.

7. FINALLY I make it to the dump off to my road loop. Once on the pavement I couldn't decide if I wanted to head directly back to the Soob via the road (about 5 miles) or just do my normal road loop from that point. I was so spent from the trail (mentally, not physically) I compromised. Hit a "pretzel loop" of hills and then headed to the car.

8. The road was uneventful. I locked the Reba out and the B.F.F.'s were remarkably well on the pavement given their knobby girth. Mentally it was hard though. This is my road bike's turf. It just didn't feel right. I tried not to look at my computer. I didn't want to be mentally comparing speeds between the Dos and the Trek.

All I could do now was just try to focus on the positives of the day and not think of the feecus that the morning had given me: It's sunny, I'm on my bike, iPodious is giving me some nice road love, this Craft jacket ROCKS! Less than two months 'till my first race, my legs feel good, the Dos kicks ass, I have a new bike on order, there's Wild Goose Oatmeal Stout's back at the house, HEY I'm back at the car! SWEET!

In hindsight I regret every second that I was outside today. I should have just stayed on the trainer this week. At least I escaped the crash with no injuries to my bike, or me!

I can't help thinking of what Cycling God I pissed off. I've been good. I've watched the Tour of Cali, I've done my workouts, bought new gear, etc., etc.,

Must have been calling the weather man "swarmy" yesterday. OK, I take it back. He's a DICK! And so is Old Man Winter. Bring on a snowless spring, a hot, sweaty, iceless summer and a warm "Indian summer".

Time to curl up on the couch with a good beer, make some Mexican food, hang with my son, watch Sponge Bob, then fight some crime with my #1 busty, red headed super hero of a wife.

If it's warm where you are... SCREW YOU!

Kidding. Have a good weekend. Hope you got some miles in without freezing your tits off or eating snow.

Later.