Saturday's Urban Hillbilly Ride & "My Hump"

"A dreaded sunny day

so let's go where we're happy
and I meet you at the cemetry gates"
- "Cemetry Gates", The Smiths

A sunny day indeed, but no cemeteries in the plan (thankfully!). Just chamois time on the Campeon. The high today would reach about 47, unfortunately I'm was a bit too anxious to ride, and hit the road when shit was still in the 30s. I have to say I'm lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllonging to ride withOUT f*cking cold fingers and toes. I'm really sick to death of being cold. Ma nature can ditch the wind too. I can live without it!

Despite the crispy air, cold toes and fingers, I still had fun out on the roads via the Campeon's spicy ass goodness. I had planned on maybe doing a 4 hour ride, but as I pedaled along I realized that this is SUPPOSED to be a rest week and if I did four hours today it would rule out riding tomorrow. Monday is a rest day. I'd rather ride tomorrow out at my Dad's digz, so I decided at about mile 25 that I would use today to explore some new roads I've been meaning to check out, hook up with my normal loop, and then call it quits.

Yeahhhh, new roads are always cool, BUT there's a learning curve of course. Sometimes the maps are wrong, sometimes the map can't tell you what the road conditions are like, and MORE often than not a map is not taken on the ride.

At first the new roads were cool as hell. Then the roads went from pavement to half pavement, to gravel, to dirt, to pot holed dirt, etc., etc., THEN, I made right turn on to what ended up being a private farm road. And you KNOW it was down hill on some nasty ass gravel shit, ONLY to come to a dead end. Soooo BACK up said nasty ass hill. This part of the ride had me wanting my Mamasita or at LEAST a cross bike big time!

Even one back on on the "real road" this is what I had the pleasure of going down...

.

Then once down that dirt/loose stone road it was around the bend....

Then there was some more loose ass stone and dirt shit to go down until I FINALLY hit pavement again. I was near a "sportsman's club" and could hear guns being fired. I felt that at any moment I was gonna get a cap in the ass. I hate to complain about dirt and rock. I live for that shit. But I was UNprepared to ride it on the road bike.

"Hector was the first of the gang with a gun in his hand
and the first to do time, the first of the gang to die"
-"First Of The Gang To Die" - Morrissey

Eventually I got back to some familiar roads. There were a TON of cool photo opportunities with old trucks, campers, cars, abandoned homes and live stock. I plan on incorporating these roads again, but maybe on the mountain bike! I look forward to more miles on the Campeon tomorrow at my dad's. It's been a while since I rode there and it's my fave place to road ride.

Oh well, I got some more sheeeeit to spew, but that can be tomorrow or through the week. I leave you with this this..

"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha),
my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)"
-"My Humps", Black Eyed Peas

Yeahhhhh.Those Morrisssey/Smith lyrics might not set the house on fire, but I like to think they have a little more to offer than the B.E.P.s "My Hump" lyrics. Ah who am I kidin' that's baby making music.

Gonna, gonna, get you drunk....

Later.