Fear & Loathing A Sharted 65
I didn't know what to expect weather wise here today. Yesterday was typical Western PA rope/attic weather, with rain, gray and cool temps. Today was calling for thunderstorms all day. So last night after I made my T. Ballz, had some Dogfish, watched most of Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas, and bitched about the fact I was sent the wrong adapter for my Fox, I did a kick ass sacrifice to the Gods of Cycling. Then onto the Weather Gods.
First I got super Pagan with the G.o.C.. I knelt in a circle of Tri-Flow, surrounded by candles, and photos of Eddie, Fausto, Bobke, Ned, and Tinker. I repented for my Fox lust, asked for guidance in obtaining the proper adapter, and promised big Saturday miles on the road to honor them. Then it was on to the Weather Gods. I just recited a mantra that was basically- "Weather God's, oh Weather God's. Give me 3 or 4 hours without heavy rain to ride or I'll be all dicked off." Not the most creative (or sincere) but hey, it worked!
This a.m. I got on the web and got things straight with The Goat today. Then I was able to get out on the road for some big miles. I got in 65 miles and a hair over 4 hours of saddle time. Felt real good and only hit some minor rain sprinkles. I do believe that the G.o.C. sent a demon spy in the form George- a fast, helmetless, cue ball bald, roadie. George came up on me at mile 41. We rode together for a while, but then parted ways after a few miles. I believe he was sent by the G.o.C. to make sure I was honoring the promised miles. When he was certain, that I would indeed be laying down 60+ he went back to the demon land from which he came. The land where they say Kilometers instead of miles, won't wear helmets, wear white socks and curse at you for not "taking your pull".
All kidding aside, I had a great ride. I did have a scary moment at mile 15 when I tried to release some Turkey Ball gas. I swore I had just sharted the chamois. Frig! Now what? I mean do I REALLY want to stop on the side of the road to check to see if I gambled and lost in the chamois?? Ah, NO! So I just "tightened up" and rode the next 50 miles hoping I was wrong. Thank God I was! That could have been bad. Real bad. Nothing like 65 miles with a Hershey's Kiss in the chamois.
B-Man is staying with my dad tonight. Wifey and I are going to chill with some beers, watch Into the Wild and chow down on some Mexican. We wanted go away this weekend, but things didn't turn out. This is our attempt at making sure we make some time for each other. Even without B-Man, I might still try to sneak in an episode or two of Kim Possible. I'm hooked. The show is hilarious, and K.P. is hot!