The False Downhill

I had one of those mornings where I was so tired that I could not fathom the idea of riding after work. I waffled back in forth for over an hour this morning on whether to throw the Campeon on top the Soob or not. Finally after about 30 oz. of coffee AND the fact that I saw there is way more of a chance for thunderstorms tomorrow, I figured I'd just take it. Big deal if I bail. It's not like I would have to come home to neighbors running out of their house screaming "YOU SUCK! YOU WONDER WHY YOU NEVER WIN ANYTHING! WAY TO BAIL, LOSER!" They might someday run out to ridicule me, but I have a feeling that it will be more about my uncut grass, untrimmed hedges, and STILL unfinished siding job (don't ask).

As the day progressed I got more and more anxious to ride and I was clock watching more than usual. OK, that's not true I'm an obsessive clock watcher from 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. That time is meant for clock watching, thinking about my ride and planning races. If I HAPPEN to squeeze some mind numbing hack art in there, so be it! If anyone I work with is reading this (doubtful), I'm just kidding of course. I love my job and am focused on it through the entire day.

Before you know it I was in Stall #2, the spacious and inviting handicapped stall of the men's room (my personal fave) squeezing my ass into my chamois and getting ready to head out to my ride. I have to say I still hate changing in the can if someone else is in there. I imagine them thinking that I'm one of the freaky type people that takes all their clothes to take a dump. If anyone I work with is reading this (doubtful), I do not suffer from Fecalunclotheaphobia™ ! If I took me clothes off every time I pinched a loaf, I'd spend most of my day naked in the men's room (ewwww). Freaking high fiber diet!!

Annnnnyway, I made it to the ride and was glad I went. I was feeling good and content to do less concentrating tonight. In many ways that's why I love mountain biking. There's so much going on that the ride or race can fly by. I have NO idea how ultra road racers do it. I could not handle that at all. BUT having said all that, tonight I was content to ride the road and not have to do too much bike handling. OK, I did have to do a bit on one downhill towards the end, when a pick up truck was RIGHT beside me (about a foot or so) and of COURSE there was some washed out rippled patch of PA road suck. So I kept my line, bunny hopped one part of it and then eased back to plow through the rest. What really chapped my ass was seeing the doofus move clear to the left to avoid some walkers up ahead. Grrrrrr!

Have you ever encountered a "false downhill"? Not a false flat, not an uphill, but a road that you SWEAR is going down hill, but you find yourself having to pedal as if your were going up hill and there's NO head wind! What the freak? One stretch of road that I ride has a section that from what I can tell is definitely going downhill, and I KNOW it is, because this part of the ride is an out and back and I KNOW I'm going uphill on the way out! Again I ask- What the freak? It screws with my mind man!! I find myself checking to make sure I don't have a flat or that my brake isn't rubbing, EVERY time I hit this section. It's one of the cruel "f*ck with the mortal" games that the Ride Gods play on me.

At about the 1:30 mark, the legs started to get sluggish. At this point I just wanted to get home, eat and see the B-Man. Some days, the work/ride schedule just burns me out a bit. Time to take a couple days off and then hit an extended ride on Saturday in the dirt.

I just found out that Snickers Charged is a limited edition!! SHIT!!! I'll be heading out tomorrow to buy up ton of that .79¢ chocolaty, caffeinated, race "nutrition" tomorrow. To the good folks of Snickers I say... WHAT THE FREAK?? By the way, how is it that a blog about candy gets like 40+ comments and I often have to pull out all the stops to get like 3? I guess if you dig candy it does seem to be THEE resource but dammmmn. That's a lot of candy loving. I guess I need to write more about male lactation, Team Scott/American Beef, moose knuckles and Tom (the sniff) Boonen shitting the chamois at Paris-Roubaix 2 years ago if I want to draw more readers and comments! Or I guess I could just ditch the bike talk about focus on candy? Nahhh! I'm content with bikes and my peeps.

My bed beckons.

Later.

P.S. THIS song continues to be played on iPodious almost EVERY day. Damn I love it. Good stuff.