Topic Of The Century: New Arm Warmers

Financial meltdowns, presidential elections, an endless war, high gas prices, a world in utter chaos. WHO CARES?? I have bigger issues... I HAD TO BUY NEW ARM WARMERS TODAY!! Plus I like to prove that I can write about almost ANYTHING!

Last night when the sun went down, the lights came on, and the temps dropped, I got a real slap in the nutz that It was time for me to make sure the arm and knee warmers are in the bike box and good to go at all times now. I'm man enough to admit that I can be rather UNmanly in cold temps, and I need to keep the guns warm. I have a pair of arm warmers. They're ancient. I've had them for so long that during most rides they become more like "forearm warmers" than arm warmers because the elastic is so far gone. I like to live in the world where I think my biceps are big enough to keep them up, but you know, and I know that sadly that is just not true.

Today I was forced to come to grips with the fact that nipply weather will soon be here to stay. So I stopped at Pro Bikes at lunch to see what they had in stock. I wanted to see if they had any Endura's (since I like their gear), but all they had were Pearl Izumi and Cannondale. I tried both on. Both fit MUCH better than my current no name ones, so it came down to price and looks. The price was pretty much even. Only a $2 difference I think. SO it would come down to looks. Let's see the choices....
Both are made out about the same material, fit about the same on, and cost about the same. Hmmm what could be different? Could it be the that one (the Cannondale) is black with a small Cannondale logo at the top and the other (obviously The Pearl Izumi) HAS A STUPID FREAKING PSEUDO "MAN FROM THE FUTURE" DOT/PIN STRIPE DESIGN ON IT???? JEEZZZZUSSS!! I mean I stuff my body into lycra/spandex made up of various shades of freak and on top of that I have to have Mr. Roboto elbow patch arm warmers?

My beef with the Pearls is that they fall into that no mans land of not being simple looking and functional like the Cannondale arm warmers, and NOT fun and goofy like a pair with argyle print or fake tatoos on them. The design just seems tacked on. I can almost hear the Art Director yelling to the designer "I don't care, just stick some stripes or dots shit on it! Just don't leave it black! And hurry! We have a deadline!"

In the end I walked out with the Cannondale Arm Warmers. Truth be told I'm wearing them as I type this. Why? Well I had a sweat shirt on and I wanted to try them on to double check the fit. I took the sweatshirt off and left it downstairs. So I just left them on, since I'm a bit cold right now and my sweatshirt is downstairs. Wifey called me a geek. But sadly It's more than that. It's that I'm a cold and lazy geek.

Later.

P.S. Can you believe I just typed all this shit about ARM WARMERS?? What the f*ck is wrong with me?? Oh well, it was either the arm warmers or Topic "B"... "The Stubble On My Legs- The Top 5 Reasons I Shave My Legs All Year Round". I guess I'll just save that little nugget for tomorrow.