I Give In (99% non bike related content)

Bare with me, read or don't read. This is an end of the week non bike related rant.

I had a very stressful week of work. I spent most of my free time thinking of "moving on" from my current employer. I have a plan sort of in place to do just that. But not just yet. I reached a strange level of "acceptance" late yesterday afternoon concerning upcoming changes in my work location and environment.

I'm TRYING to ignore the fact that after 16 years of service I went from an office, to a big cubical, to a small cubical, to starting Monday working in a VERY non OSHA approved over crowded building with no windows. To a desk nowhere near my friends and co workers that I ACTUALLY do work for, but very near an entire group of folks who I DON'T work for, and a variety of douche bags and bagettes wearing suits and worshipping the almighty dollar.

I have to say I've not discussed my displeasure all that much with the upper management making the decisions. If I've learned one thing in having worked for the same folks for 16 years, it's that they're philosophy is "you don't like our decisions? There's the door". They believe (and I'm not being a disgruntled employee, this is fact) that they can/will find someone else to do the job, pay them less and be rid of a "problem". It doesn't matter that they lack the skills or the talent to do the job right. I've seen a LOT of talented designers and graphics folks move on because of this out dated philosophy. Who cares if it LOOKS good?? As long as the client pays their bill.

With our upper management, the bottom line is money and NOT questioning authority. NOT easy for an art type person like me with over 20 years of punk/indie/sad bastard/teen angst music in my ears, and the love of something so beautiful and wonderfully independent as our sport of mountain biking.

So why haven't I quit? Why have I put up with this shit for 16 years? Well lack of desire for a "career" is one. I don't want to be someone's boss. And lately I just want to "be". Do good work, get paid and go home to my family and my bikes. I mean hell yeah, I'd love to go to a job that I WANTED to go to, that I BELIEVED in, and that I WANTED to see prosper. I'd love to believe in an employer the way I believe in my sponsors. As I've said before, my sponsors are my sponsors because I use their gear, I believe in them, they dig my vibe, I dig theirs, and I WANT to see them kick ass in the bike industry.

Then of course there's the fact that my current employer has pretty much bought every print publication in Western PA but one. So there really isn't really anywhere to go for an old schooler like me. Add in the fact that I am BBBBBBBBBBBBBURNED the f*ck out on print ad design and you have what I am today- A 37 year old who hates his job, who has no experience outside the field of graphic art, no (real) college degree, and is having trouble finding someone outside the print industry to look at my resume and say- "Hey, this dude has 17+ years of print graphics experience, and has NO experience for our advertised position. He's our man!!". HA!

So where's the part where I "give in". Well until I develop a REAL plan, I'm just gonna plug away and TRY to continue on "auto pilot". Focus on my family, my riding, racing, and even on this stupid blog. The sales folks that I work directly for are good people, who appreciate my work and know when they come to me they get quality. They have all been super supportive and have all gone out of their way to talk to the "powers that be" about these changes happening. They have enured the "if he doesn't like it tough shit" lines for me. I thank them.

Unfortunately they don't make the decisions, nor do my direct department supervisors. Because as ANY of my readers in the graphics field know, the Graphics Dept. is possibly the LAST opinion that any employer seeks or cares about. Yet our work is ALL over the product, and can make or break whether someone picks up the publication, opens it, reads it, or buys a product from an advertiser. It's sad, but true.

I also have to thank Wifey for being super supportive through my stressing. She kicks ass and luckily for me has a super sized brain (as well as two super sized....WATCHYOURMOUTH!!) and really carries our family mentally and financially. She's been telling me for years to "move on", even when we didn't have two pennies to rub together or anything to "move on" to. "We'll make it work" she always telling me. I appreciate that. I don't believe her. But I appreciate it! ;) So my plan is to plug away and hope that things change for the better soon. I'm going to keep looking for that job that "inspires" and keep a completed resignation letter in my desk, signed and good to go.

I will resume bike related blogging after my ride today. Mental stink needs blown off me by the 28 degree temps and sub zero degree wind chills.

Later.

P.S. If my employer reads any of this. Please don't feel the need to have security escort me out of the building Monday. I'm a pacifist babe, no worries.