When In Doubt- Do Something Fun! Then Doubt

When you are down and you feel like an open can of suck. When you look back at a race and see that your suck ass, cramp filled 5 lap performance earned you a stellar 17th place out of 30 or so. When you see that had you equaled or bettered last years laps you would have won or been in the top 3, what do you do?? Well you COULD sit around feeling like the above mentioned stale can of suck, but that isn't the best plan of attack. The best plan is to hook up with your favorite riding buddy and lay down some serious mileage (or mile) to blow the mental ass stank out.

So today I called B-Man into action!



That was just the sort of racing I needed today. Better than racing B-Man was witnessing his confidence in attempting "sixty-hundred nine thousand miles" in 100 minutes.

In the end we settled for a 1 mile round trip, with some stops for hydrating and looking at bugs. Then we went to W.O. park for some peanut butter sandwiches and time on the swing set. That was just the ticket I needed to take my mind of my current lack of racing mojo/ability.

Now that the fun of the day is over, I of course have crawled into the now twice mentioned open, stale, can of suck for the duration of the night. I felt like I gave it my all on Saturday. The heat and the cramps were just too much for me. I can't help that. Shit happens.I just need time to stop dwelling/whining and clear that shit out of my head. It will happen, I know that. I'd like to go ahead and sign up for the 101 tonight so as to save myself some casheesh before the entry fee goes up tomorrow. But I just can't guarantee that my "jo" will have it's "mo" by then. So I think I might just wait.

I've also thought about doing some W.V.M.B.A. races. BUT that leads me to my class entry dilemma. Expert Vet or Sport Vet? As I've said before, the last time I raced XC, I raced Sport. Since then I've competed in 4 hundies, seven Solo 24s, and several marathon, 6, 12 and 13 hour solo races. I feel like I would be sucking hard at the teet of Mama Sandbagger if I raced Sport, but I have to say my ballz out XC skills are indeed Sport Level at best. I have no problem not coming close to the podium with the Expert Vets, that I'm used to. But a DFL finish might be the nail in my mojos coffin (or I guess I should say EGO's coffin!). It may be wise just to get some long ass rides in up on the mountain (if if EVER stops raining here) and then see if the 101 is calling my name.

Time to make some dinner and gear up for a 3 day work week.

Later.

2008 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey Race Report

After the cluster f*ck that was my 24 Hours of Big Bear earlier this month, I was looking forward to heading down to the 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey at the U.S.M.C. base in Quantico, Virginia. I needed to try to revive some race mojo and feel good about my racing again. This would and wouldn't happen. Read on....

First I woke up Friday A.M. to find this note from WIfey and B-Man...

It always feels nice to get a good luck note from them. They rock.
Check out the "E" that Brennan laid down. Damn, that's sweet.

Friday was a day off of work, so after I took care of B-Man duties, and got the Soob packed up, I was off for Quantico, VA. The trip down was highly uneventful. I seemed to just miss every thunderstorms that popped up in the PA/WV/MD/VA area, and I won't complain about that.

I guess I could complain about watching the outside temperature gauge steadily climb as I headed South. Complaining wouldn't do much good. It's summer in Virginia, what did I expect??

At least it didn't say 100 degrees, right? It was about this time that I thought the Soob's A/C shit the bed. Low power and blowing of steam out the vents. I think it was it's way of saying "I'm givin' it all I've got Captain!". Thankfully, it would bounce back later, no prob.

Since I made better time than I thought I went to the hotel to check in and chamois up before heading over to Quantico to pre ride the 10 mile course. The Days Inn was OK, but anytime I stay in a hotel like Days Inn, Sleep Inn, Econo Lodg, etc., it always makes me feel like a murder, drug deal or homemade porno could be taking place in any of the surrounding rooms. Room was fine. That's just my hotel issue.

Got to the Marine base and the race staging area to see that there were a good amount of folks already around. Glad I chamoised up the cheeks in the hotel and not in the parking lot. Enter one borderline pacifist in the U.S.M.C brig. Soon I was off and on the trails. The dirt was in good shape, even with some recent storms. Give credit to sandy soil. Black WV mud or PA clay dirt would have been down for the count, but this stuff was perfect and alternated between bone dry, tacky, and just a tad muddy in one or two low spots.

The pre ride was going great, I felt good and even though I was so far on the tip of my saddle I think it poked my lower intestine, I cleaned this f*cking climb!...

Things start off OK, but then get steeper and steeper. The dirt is loose rock and sand for the most part. There is one more little steep up that the trees obscure in this pic. That's the part that had my saddle's nose doing some anal probing.

Did about another mile or two and then... I got off course!! Drat! Must have been some tape down or I was just moving too fast (tape must have been down). Only went about another .5 miles until I found the course again, but it was a big enough blunder that I missed half of the freaking course!! Drat! NO WAY was I starting over in this heat with a race in about 16 hours. So back to the car, check in with the race peeps and head back to the Days Inn for my Ballz, pasta, mucho hydrating and channel surfing.

It seemed like before I knew it I was at the venue, setting up with Plum Grove Pete (AKA "Slow Twitch"). Typical pre race stuff ensued. Riders meeting, timing chips handed out, and last minute bike prep. Then, off to the start which of COURSE had to be a run to the bikes. 250 Pro World Cup racers can race a 5K course without a run, but endurance racers and slobs like me have to run 10 city blocks to "thin the pack out" Jesus, if the pack can't thin out over a 10 mile course and 12 hours- It ain't EVER gonna thin out!. Lodi, 18 Hours on The Farm and Leesburg = Rolling starts! Can we PLEASE all get on the same page??

So I did my typical jog to the bike. Lumbering, huffing, puffing and wanting to just stop and walk until I got to the Mamasita. Once on the bike there was some nice flat sections to recover until the first climb. I was feeling good and the bike was handing great. Getting a chance to ride the WHOLE course was a not-so-nice reminder of some of the other climbs there. For the most part I was doing fine and just tried to pace myself. At 8 A.M. it was in the 70s with predicted high of over 90 degrees.

I was hauling unflavored Hammer Heed in the Deuter, Carbo Pro Plus/Gatorade for calories in a bottle, and a gel once per lap. This was doing a good job for the first 2 laps. By lap 3 things really heating up. I'm talkin' "from-undah-fat man's balls" HOT! I continued to pound Heed, and was taking water hand ups from the race volunteers to pour over my head in the attempt to stay cool.

Lap 3 was fun though. I rode a bit with a woman from a Bike Lane team. She was a pretty strong rider and would regularly pass me only for me to pass her on an up hill or clean something she didn't. This caused her to call me "Mr. Consistency". I wish! It was nice to chat a bit as we leap frogged.

I also had another rider behind me ask me if Bikeman.com was my sponsor. I said "yep" and as we rode along he told me the story of how great he thought Bikeman was. He said that he had an issue with an older XT disc brake and no mechanic in the area knew how to help him, but he called 1-800-BIKEMAN and they walked him through it. That was cool. He would be one of two folks to comment to me about Bikeman.com rocking. Another dude said he liked my Mamasita, but mistakenly called it the Big Mama. I said "nope, it's the Mama-ssseeee-tahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! She's the Big Mama's older little seestor" (I know that doesn't make sense, but I like the sound of it). It was cool though to know that the Big Mama is already on people's radar.

Before I went out for lap 4, I pitted, took a 5 minute brake and poured ice water all over myself until I felt I had got my core temp down. Then I took in a gel that was was so warm I think I burnt my tongue and headed out for lap 4.

Lap Four: Enter The Pain Cave.
Or hell's pizza oven, either way it's about the same.

Things were getting SUPER tough on my body now. Cramps were edging in, and I was so F*CKING HOT!!!" I mean this was pizza oven hot. Seriously! Do a multi hour workout on your stationary trainer in the kitchen of a pizza joint at the end of June in the mid South and you will know exactly what I felt like. My granny gear became my friend due to the fact that any hard core power would force my legs to seize up with cramps. I was pumping out so much sweat that I was just amazed! I'm talking SSSSSSSSSSSSSWEAT!! I continued on the Heed and was dumping water on myself at every aid station. One station had a young lady spraying riders with a water bottle. That rocked. Except for the one time she had it on "stream" and I took a direct hit to the ear canal!! I yelled out "I'M HIT!!" and screamed at her for wrecking my hearing. I'M KIDDING! I thanked her and told her it felt great.

The heat was like nothing I've ever raced in before. I've ridden in 90 degree heat before, but there's a big ass difference between riding for 2 hours and trying to race for 12. I made it back to the pit, took another ice shower, ate some Chex Mix, and took a sip of cold flat Coke. Alright, I have 40 miles in. I had a goal of 100 on the day (10 laps). 60 more to go??? WTF??? OK, relax. Take a little brake. Cool down and get back out there!!

I headed out for my 5th lap. I was in no way refreshed. I was suffering. But hey, suffering is part of this racing. I hit the first climb. Cleared it, but my legs again seized up when I hit the top. Stop. Soft pedal. Cramp. Walk. Stop. Soft pedal. Cramp, etc., etc., etc., OK, suffering is one thing, extreme pain, and not being about to ride my bike is another. I THINK this lap and 50 miles would have to be enough. Shit.

I got back to the pit and took an extended brake. I laid in the shade, doused myself with ice water. I tried to keep the cramps at bay, but it was useless. ANY movement and my legs would lock up. I eventually pedaled down to the pit and checked in. There was some thunder in the distance and there was a potential for a thunderstorm race stoppage. So I wanted to make sure this lap of suffering would at least count! I gave them my timing device, said I'd be back in a while to continue as soon as I got the cramps under control.

This was not looking good though. This was just way more heat than I'm used to being in. Talking to the locals they really didn't think much of it. They were like "could be worse". WORSE?? The only way I could have been any hotter is if you would have sat me on fire and tried to put it our with $4.05 a gallon gasoline! In the Pittsburgh area if it gets close to 90 degrees they get all freaky and tell people they'll die if they even think of leaving the house let alone exercise. In Virginia they put on a 12 hour race. I love it!!

Like I said above I can't complain too much. It's the end of June in Virginia. It's going to be dog ball hot for sure. I tried, but could only get in 5 laps. The attrition rate was pretty high, and even blog mate, M.A.S.S. XC stud Travis had to bail due to the heat. This was no Big Bear. When I WAS riding, I had fun. The trails were top notch, fast and fun. The EX2 peeps put on a hell of a race. I just could not stop the cramps. Heed, Endurlytes, salty snacks, etc. Nothing worked. I was just pumping out fat man sweat and a skinny man's body.

I started packing up, spent some time talking to my friends from Plum Grove (Bob A., Blair, Stewart, Rita, and Pete) and Travis and Blake. I wanted to stick around for the end to see how they all finished up, but I as cramping with every move, and sweating so much that I had ass sweat from just standing there!! Ass sweat!! How does a skinny (by American standards) guy get f*cking ASS SWEAT just standing there?? I mean I'm talking it was "that dude looks like he shit himself" type ass sweat. Cheese & Rice!! So I headed back to the hotel, making a pit stop for a pizza along the way. Congrats to Pete, Bob and Stewart on a hell of a race. Please don't think me a dick for not sticking around. I was sort of afraid I might sweat to death. Hope to see you all again soonl

I hoped for a LOT more from this race. It was by no means a wash, but my performance in the heat was less than stellar. I did have fun, raced some cool trails and pushed myself to the limit. That's all I can ask. I might take a little racing hiatus for a while. I may be burned out on sucking right now. I'm scheduled to do the 101 at the end of July. Not sure if I should or not. We'll see. I've been kicking around the idea of phasing myself out of the race scene. I love it, but I continue to struggle with what I want from it. I do sort of believe I raced better when I was depressed. I guess I thought of it as "therapy" or "self medicating via miles of suffering". But due to the wonders of modern chemistry and the desire to not alienate my wife and son, I guess I need to make the best of what my mama gave me.

The thing with my racing is I'm not a competitive person by nature. So THAT'S not a motivator. I like to ride my bikes a LOT. But I can't figure out if I need to race to do that or not. I love what racing gives me: The chance to see friends, race and ride my bike, see new places, support cycling in the U.S., meet new people and do this blog. I love testing out products, giving feedback, talking about bike, etc. Maybe I should just try to work for a bike mag and take the pressure of racing off me? (as if?)

If I was just a guy riding his bike, would anyone read this dross? I don't know? I mean I'm not Kerkove, Solo Goat, or other PRO type. I'm just a guy, riding my bike, staying fit and getting the word out about folks who I believe in. Through my racing, race reports and blogging If I can make someone laugh, try racing or just get on a bike, then my job is done. And I think that JUST might be worth it. Whether any sponsors do or not, that's their call. It might not be about the bike, but it IS about cycling, riding, racing and the love of it all.

Not sure where I ended up on the day. I would think somewhere in the mid pack, we shall see.

Time to relax, have a beer or six, and cook up some Mexicana de la White Trash.

Later.

p.s. Back to Pittsburgh today. 70 degrees and rain. Nice. Real nice.

Monkey Ball Friday (on Thursday)

OK, OK, Meatball Friday is not going to "officially" happen, but you know I gotz to take some of that turkey ball mojo into the weekend and the 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey. So tonight I cooked up a pan of ballz to chow on. I of course stashed a couple ballz to nosh on tomorrow night JUST to make everything official....

Did a bunch of packing and organizing tonight. You know I dig racing, we all know that, and I dig when B-Man and Wifey are there. But it is SSSSO much easier to do a race when it's just me, a bike (or two) and a cooler full of food and drink. I'm seriously thinking of trying a 24 like this. I mean really. I can finish 8th or not at all just as easily without support as easily as I can WITH, right? Ah,

I'm kidding of about all that of course. Sometimes I feel like folks probably get tired of me slagging myself. I do it to make it clear that this blog and my racing is light hearted. I'm just a shlep. Never take me too seriously- please! Wifey did one time and the next thing she knew we were married. 11 years and one kid later, she's like "what the f*ck??". I'm a upper mid pack sport, DFL expert level racer just trying to get as many miles in as I can on some sweet bikes and have some fun. Yeah, sometimes that "fun" involves cramping, vomit, dehydration, and pain. But hey, we all have issues, right?

I got my Maxxis Cross Marks today. They look titz, and look like they would roll hell fast, but I'm finding myself unable to put them on the Mamasita for the race. I looked at my race report from last year and I commented that I thought the Fire Pros would be overkill, but they weren't.

Then I see that there is a 30-40W% chance of thunderstorms on Saturday. How will the Cross Marks react? More importantly, is a race the right time to experiment with new rubber? Ah, NO! Gonna roll the Fire Pros. There will be plenty of time for rolling the Cross Marks this year. They have W101 written all over them.

I'm packed...

And ready...

Time to say "good night", get some rest and head
out to the Monkey tomorrow mid morning.

In case I forget on the line, good luck to my friends Travis, Pete, Stewart and Bob A., all racing Saturday. May the Ride Gods Be with you. And also with me. Back Sunday afternoon. Have a great weekend folks.

Later.

Mamasita-A-Go-Go

Not too much shakin' today. Another busy day at work crankin' out ad love and then home to some lawn mowing and bike prepping. I had been waffling on whether to take my chances and race the Dos Niner (with it's boo boo) or get the Mamasita all tarted up for the show on Saturday. Well Mamasita might have a couple bruises here and there from hard lovin', but she still shags like a minx in the dirt. So Mamasita it is.

I did some lubing, bolt tightening and wheel swapping. I of course wanted to run my lighter wheels on the Mamasita, so I needed to swap out the 180 front rotor that the Dos Niner uses for the 160 that the Mama uses. The Mamasita is now running smooth and stopping quick. On the other hand, the Dos Niner now has some slight rubbing on the front, since the caliper had been dialed in slightly different to accommodate different hubs (XT vs. Hope Pro II). Oh well the Dos will only be called in in case of catastrophe. I don't want to f*ck with it too much, since as soon as Dos Niner V.2.2 is built up I will once again be using it as the main race hoopty. Unless of course I fall into a set of new wheels in the coming weeks... Hey I DO have an anniversary AND a birthday coming up! ;)

Now that I have the Mamasita dialed in, I'm looking forward to racing her Saturday. The course is fun, fast and not overly technical, so I'm pretty confident in using a hard tail for the job. Hell if it made it down the rocky descents of last years Wilderness 101, I think it will handle the 10 mile loop at Quantico just fine.

I was debating whether to ride tomorrow. Riding tomorrow would feel damn good and be a nice pre-travel mental massage. BUT it would put a rush on the packing/organizing. Plus, less than 24 hours later I would be doing a casual pre-ride of The Monkey. Less than 24 hours from the pre-ride I'll be racing for 12 hours in 90 degree heat. Hmmm. Yep, I'm bagging the Thursday ride. I only have so much mediocrity to spread around.

The Cross Marks are due in the Hood tomorrow. Mount the f'ers up and see how they roll on Friday. Taking the Fire Pros too, just in case I'm not crazy about the way the Cross Marks roll.

Check out this article on Pez Cycling. Pretty funny stuff about cycling "style".

Time to get some rest, and what not.

Later.

6 or 1 Half Doz. & Good Luck With Bad Luck

6 or 1 Half Dozen

Back on the bike tonight. I was longing to get back on dirt, but we got pounded pretty good with rain last evening and night, so instead of potentially dealing with a gunked up race week drive train and soil erosion, I opted for the Campeon and the road.

My goal tonight was to try to push myself, power through more climbs and try to get in what would be my hardest effort until Saturday and The Monkey. I'd like to say I had some coach ordered, scientifically proven "training" ride in mind. That I was studying power, wattage, heart rates, etc., But basically I was just trying to finish the 30.5 mile loop as fast as possible and get home and see if I could relieve Wifey of some of her B-Man Mama duties. She's a mess with pink eye, cough, sore throat, laryngitis, and God knows what else. I felt bad even going for the ride, but she was insistent that I go. Ah, OK. That rocks.

As it turns out, although sick as a three legged dog, she still had everything under control. Good thing, 'cause it seems that not matter how fast or how slow I go, my 30.5 mile loop takes the SAME amount of time. I think I end up blowing up after powering up the first few climbs and the first half of the ride. Then I'm left to go into "damage control" for the rest of it. Other times I start slow and then kick it in the last half. So I made it home no earlier or later than usual. Oh well, the legs felt pretty good and it was a beautiful night to be out on the bike.

The only downside was of course having to deal with many of the goofs on the road. When there is an oncoming car, why does the car behind ALWAYS feel the need to see how fast they can get around you. They would rather risk a head-on collision or killing a cyclist rather than wait 2 or 3 seconds??? So to Mr. Beat Up Blue SUV that nearly ran me off the road tonight/ran over me. I may not have given you the finger, but inside I was doing the double bird flip with a twist of the International Cyclist To Motorist "What The F*ck" Hand Motions. Too hard to explain what the I.C.T.M.W.T.F.H.M. looks like, but I'm sure If you have EVER done any road riding you have surely done it.

Good Luck With The Bad Luck And Some Deja Vu

When I was prepping my bike for Big Bear a few weeks ago I noticed what looked to be a small scratch on the rear of my seat tube near but not on the Relish shock weld. I feared that it was a small hairline crack. I assumed that this was just a case of race week worries and forgot about it. Then at Big Bear as I lubed my chain in the morning I once again looked up to notice said issue. I forced myself to put it out of my mind. I figured once I got the race over with I'd look into it and see if it was a potential issue. But then it was time for Salsa's coming product launch. I knew they were busy as frig and had a LOT on their minds, so I held off a bit.

Well yesterday I finally got around to being in touch with them. Unfortunately they confirmed that from what they could tell, it did look to be a potential issue that should be taken care of. In other words my frame will need to be replaced in the future. I just rode it Saturday with no problems and It currently poses no safety issue. I can race it Saturday if I want, but I may opt to use the Mamasita as my main rig (poor me), so I can just stay 100% focused on the race.

I'm not gonna go into it too much more right now. I will next week. I have a race to think about and do not need any bad mental mojo floating around. I will say it's NOT a design flaw with the frame, nor is it an abuse or a JRA issue. Once in a while shit just happens. Unfortunately "shit just happened" to me (again).

The Dos Niner is an INCREDIBLE frame and this is not an issue with the bike. If you're looking into a Dos Niner frame, fear not! You will LOVE the frame and can rest easy know Salsa's got your back. Once in a while defects happen. (I believe that's what the doctor told my late mother when I was born, ha!) I will say that Salsa is taking care of it. Not because they are a sponsor, but because they flat out rock and have what could be the BEST customer service in the cycling world. I'm damn lucky to be associated with them. And yes, if you are familiar with this blog you would be right in thinking that I had an issue (a VERY different one) with my 2006 Dos Niner 3 days before the 2007 Cranky Monkey. It's like freaking Groundhog Day.

Next week once I have more info and such, I will share more and answer any questions or comments about the frame issue. Right now I just don't want to think about it. Thanks for understanding.

I'll leave you with this pic a certain Pepper Head at Salsa sent me today. He knew I was bummed about the frame and also knew that this image would cheer me up. It did. Thanks!

A sweet bike, and a ton of beer all crammed in what
looks like Honda Element (how I miss thee). I love it!

Later.

Gold Is Gold and Either One Is Sweet

Nothing much going down today. Busy day at work, and got out just in time to enjoy 2 hours of heavy rains. Fantastic. Oh well, all that got nixed tonight was mowing the grass. My yard looks like stepped in dog feecus whether I mow the lawn or not. So I doubt anyone will even notice tomorrow when I skip mowing/trimming to get a 2 hour road ride in. I KNOW I won't notice.

The Mountain Bike World Championships went down this past weekend. Over the past few months I have read how some athletes were trying to peak for the WCs, some for the Olympics and some for both. I know I'll be poo-pooed by 90% of folks, but if I were and elite athlete and had to make that choice I KNOW I would be choosing trying to peak for the Worlds.

When a cyclist wins the World Championship he/she is immediately recognized in the cycling community for the accomplishment and if you're from any other country other than the U.S. you probably get some immediate notoriety and props in the mainstream media. In the Olympics I think there is SO much going on that many sports no matter HOW cool (ahem! Cycling!!) get buried in all the "feel good" track and field, gymnastics, stuff. Plus, I figure as many people know mountain biking is an Olympic sport as know that synchronized swimming is an Olympic sport! And sadly, probably less care.

Don't get me wrong, just competing in the WCs or Olympics would surely be something that any cyclist would remember forever and winning either of them would have to be just mind blowing. But I'm sticking with winning the World Championship would be better since you wouldn't have to put up with all that "we are the world" Olympic bull shit and/or be forced to wear some degrading Olympic outfit during the opening ceremonies. Just my 2¢. And believe me, it's worth WAY less than that.

I love this pic of Christoph Sauser crossing the line.
Can you even imagine what that felt like??

A race is a race as soon as one person tries to go faster than the other, but crossing the line and seeing all those people and photographers HAS to feel pretty cool. Hell, I'm just happy when I cross the line!! :)

Time for some eye drops.

Later.

Rebound Weekend

First let me start by saying the power of my Ballz is strong!

I was encouraged by Rick to not let another Friday go without my Turkey Ballz. I took his advice, and I have to give mucho thanks to him. I'm not sure WHAT it is about those ground gobbler balls that creates good ride weekends, but they do! And I am DEFINITELY looking into smuggling a camp stove into the Days Inn next Friday so as ensure that Cranky Monkey does not go ball-less. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person to smuggle a small stove into a cheap hotel. Although I may be the first person to smuggle a small stove into a cheap hotel NOT to free base an illegal substance.

Anyway, back to the weekend. I am 99.9% over the pink eye and sore throat. I was still basking in the glow of yesterday's ride and last night's gin and tonic when I realized that I kick ass road ride would HAVE to happen today. It just has to. So, I did as ride junkies do. Got my bike shit together, stuff B-Man in the Soob and headed out to visit with my Dad and get some killer road miles in.

I was tired of my normal 40 mile loop and needed to get some bigger efforts in my legs, so I opted for an extended version which has me hitting a variety of slow 5/6 MPH climbs, hitting a bunch of back roads and going through at least two counties.

My legs were feeling good and it was nice to spin on the road after yesterday's time on single track. Doing a road ride the day after a long mountain bike ride just feels easier to me. Both on the mind and on the body. It makes for a nice recovery. During a mountain bike ride there's so much going on. If you relax TOO much you'll find yourself over the bars and in a ditch. That's why I love endurance mountain bike racing. ALWAYS something going on. I have a ton of respect for the endurance roadie folks. I have NO idea how they stay focused and don't "zone out" and fall asleep.

Today was just a perfect day for riding. Warm, but not TOO warm, a little breeze, blue sky and sun shine. The two main sights on today's ride were corn fields....

And junk yards...

One thing that I saw again today that I just do NOT understand, is a cyclists choose to ride against traffic. I passed a dude, who to his credit just came up a big mofo of a hill on sort of a hybrid bike, but was on the wrong side of the road. These are back roads with lots of blind corners. If I had been coming around the corner a little sooner we would have hit head on. OR worse, if a car or truck was coming around a corner the dude would have been another sad statistic.

I wanted to roll back and say something, and felt guilty that I didn't, but I didn't want to look like Mr. Thinks He Knows It All Roadie. So I just waved and said a prayer to the Ride Gods to watch out for him. I think some folks get "rules" mixed up. Maybe against traffic is the rule for running, walking, or doing that freaky ass shaking race walking that some people do, but for cycling it's WITH traffic and trying to obey the road rules. OR end up in a priest driven ambulance (name that band!)

I think the days off the bike help my body AND my motivation. I was lucky to get out two days in a row for some great riding. Both on dirt and on pavement. I hit 48.5 miles of sweet roads today and got in about 2:45 of riding. I hit a lot of climbs and the legs felt good. I have to say I had some serious Turkey Ball love coursing through the bod today and was damn happy to be on the bike after a week of skanky, red eyes and sore throats.

My apologies for the video above. This is what happens when you ride alone too much! No offence to any Italian, French or Spanish readers that I may have. I wish I could understand your languages when I watch foreign race telecasts. But sadly I was given the brain the size of an acorn and there is just NO room for me to comprehend languages.

All in all a great day and a great weekend on the bike. Very happy to be back. I will NEVER discount the power of my Ballz again. I may even start carrying a petrified Turkey Meatball in my pack to ensure that the T. Ball Mojo is always with me.

The only real downside to the weekend is the fact that Wifey now has pink eye and she's rocking it hard core! Truth be told it's hard to look at. She looks like a buxom red headed pirate. Arrrrrrrr! I kid of course. She's on the mends and it sucks to see her going through what I just went through.

Rest day tomorrow followed by a few short efforts during the week as I ready for the 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey. Stoked for the Monkey! Brink on the Monkey!!! Touch my Monkey!! Seriously touch it. I beg you.

Later.

Feeling Flat (But I Was Great!)

Woke up today with the LEAST amount of spooge in my eye so far this week. I think I could ACTUALLY SEE some white in my right eye. SWEET! On top of that, the weather looked good and I was gonna hook up with my bud Y-Nizzle for a ride at Boyce. Y. had to pick up his Can-Of-Ale 29er that was in for service at Pro Bikes, so I met him there and chatted with Jason and Timmy C. while Y. settled up with P.B. management.

I was so stoked to even be riding today (given the previous week's pink eye and possible strep throat issues) so I was completely comfy with riding with Yancy. I usually stay clear of group or multiple rider rides due to time restraints or the group being either too fast or too slow for my training needs. Riding with Y. is cool because I dig his vibe, he's a good friend, a good rider, and there are no expectations. Just do your thang and the ride will follow. That was just what I needed a week after being ill and a week before my next race.

2 miles into the ride Yancy had flat #1. Oh well, shit happens. Whilst he put a new tube in, I did a small loop and came back to find my shaved headed friend just finishing up his tube change.

OK, tire in. Game on. .25 miles later. Flat #2. What the f*ck??? So I once again left my friend to patch a tube while I did a mini loop. Once back we headed off and got some miles in. Stopping every-so-often to check tire pressure and to let me sweat all over my Tifosi glasses.

Once again we headed off. Having fun riding the wet, but not mud bog un-rideable trails of Boyce. We ran into a few other folks who were also having their share of flat issues too. I felt good and was enjoying showing my friend around Boyce. He rides Mingo a lot and could not believe the amount of uninterrupted single track and non f*cked from horses dirt to be had at Boyce Park.

At about mile 13 I gave Y. the option to either do a STEEP double track back to pavement and the cars or to continue on single track and another two miles. Y. chose to more single track. Good man! BUT soon we encountered flat #3!!

Ok, enough is enough! The tire was clean, the patch held, but there as a big ass tear in the tube! UG!! I blamed Y. for bringing his Friday night "bad Karma" to MY Saturday Ride, but that was all in jest of course. It could have just as easily been me with the 3 flats. It wasn't, it was him (ha), but still, I was not gonna bitch too much. Shit happens, right?

So after tire inspection, and the blowing of our last Co2 canisters, it was time for Yancy to to show the tube some self man love and get his stroke on. It was a real treat to watch. While Y. pumped I said a silent prayer to the Ride Gods that this would be our LAST flat of the day.

Once the tire was back on and pumped, it was off for our last 2 miles. The tire held until we got to the car and that was all we could hope for. After we got back to the car I said goodbye to Yancy and headed off to get 5 more miles of single track in. In the end I got 20 miles in on the Dos Niner and 2:30 of dirt in. Damn happy with the time, and the fact that I got out at all. I give credit to Yancy for the ride. If it were not for him I would have just gone on a road ride. BUT I gotta tell you the dirt was the titz. It was like slipping in to warm apple pie. IF you know whatta I mean?? If you don't, sorry. You need to get out more.

The Panaracer/IRDs held up pretty good today, but in some sections the Boyce "clay/mud" got the best of them and made for some gooped up knobbies and some slick climbing. Overall though, I can't complain.


It was SO freaking nice to be back on dirt/mud. My legs felt spanky, and it was nice to share the day with a friend. I only hope he was able to leave some of his bad Friday mojo out there and go home to Ms. M. and Izzy refreshed and ready for action.

The only bad part of the day was finding out that Wifey now has the pink eye that B-Man had, then I had. I can NOT believe that despite washing, bleaching, our linens and towels, she STILL got it. This pink mother is ONE contagious M.F.!!!!

This time next week the Cranky Monkey will be in the books! I can NOT wait to roll rubber on that sandy ass Virginia soil.

Later.

Ballin' On A Friday Night

After 2 weeks of no ballz, Turkey Ball Friday has returned. If for no other reason, the fact that I truly believe that there is a Mojo in the Turkey Ball that powers my weekend and my weekend's rides. Turkey Ball Power- ACTIVATE!!

Tonight's ballz were a mix of regular ground turkey AND ground turkey breast. I just kicked this shit up a bit!! Add in some red peppers, green peppers, onions, sauce and some kick ass whole wheat pasta and you have the makings for not only a carb/protein junk kicker, but essentially an electro-shock to the colon as soon as Saturday morning's java hits bottom. Add in some Bell's Two Hearted Ale and you're Ballin' Like a Pimp.

I nick-named tonight's turkey ballz "Big Mama's Ballz" in honor of the new spicy, 29" wheeled, 4" suspension rig that was just released by my peeps at Salsa Cycles. Nothinng says "Big Mama" like some kick ass, super sized, turkey meat balls, right?

I ended up ordering a set of Maxxis Crossmark 29er tires from Bikeman.com today. Sooner or later I'm sure I'll get a chance to roll them on some dry hard pack and they will roll fast, I'm sure. I hope that The Cranky Monkey is as dry as it was last year. If so, these should roll hella fast!

Speaking of races, I'm currently having the debate on whether to do the 18 Hour "Scouts Honor" or The 24 Hour Champion Challenge later this summer. I've been planning on the 18 Hours for the past two years and due to illness in '06 and big ass storms cancelling it last year, I've yet to make it. The price is right, the venue is right, the cause is right. But do I skip on doing the tradition that IS doing the 24 Hour Champion Challenge a couple weeks later in lieu of doing the 18?? Hmmm.

For the $100 I can get a sweet course, 18 hours of Solo racing and a cabin on course. BUT it's 5 hours away. OR I can do the 24, pay $230, and drive 45 minutes from home. Hmmmmm. They both have their advantages. Either way I'm sure to be able to give my Switchback 3 a good work out. Figure I'll ponder it a few days, and then make my decision. If gas wasn't f*cking $4.00 a gallon, the 18 would be a "no brainer".

Even though I swore to myself I would NOT talk about my eye, I am. It's doing better. Looks like shit, but it FEELS a ton better. Contacts are going back in tomorrow. I have NO idea how people live wearing glasses. Man does it suck. I am REALLY hoping to see some dirt tomorrow. I need it BADDDDDD. Need to see what Ma Nature throws our way overnight. Saddle time is needed. I don't REALLY care in what form.

Later.

The Bureau Supply For Ageing Men

Not like ya care, and are SURELY tired of hearing about it, but I woke up this morning STILL rocking a bright red, goo oozing sore eye ball and sore throat. Fan-f*cking-tastic! So after I got the B-Man off to day care, I headed to the Doc's again. More potent eye drops were givin' for my eye's ballz and anti-biotics for the sore throat. She says to me "you're really falling apart, aren't you?". I couldn't help but agree but somehow failed to mention how I ACTUALLY fancy myself sort of an athlete (in a very cycling sense of the word). Good grief! I should have just asked her about my f*cked up back while I was there too! She probably would have just got all Doctor Kevorkian on me. HA! Oh well, if this batch of meds doesn't clear it up, f*ck it. I'll live with it. But I'm pretty confident this should kick these pesky germ's asses.

In light of my throat being at tad worse today, and my eye still looking like a slaughtered pig's ass, I'm resting for the next two days. In a way, maybe this eye/throat thing was a good thing. I knew I needed to rest. But I can also obsess about getting ride time in and my waist line, so I'm not the best at "resting". Maybe this was the Cycling Gods way of saying "dude, settle your ass down and get off the bike or you're gonna burn out like a 19 year old 7th grader." Who knows? The weekend will find me on my bike in some way. I'm longing for dirt and the feel of the Mamasita betweenst my thighs. (I just grossed you out a little bit didn't I?) But at this point I'd settle for ANYTHING between my thighs (again with the grossing out, eh?)

Song Obsession On: "Drive In Saturday", by Morrissey. It's a cover of a David Bowie song that Mozzer has been doing live for years and is the B-Side to the recent single "All You Need Is Me". I just love this song. Not sure if I'd dig Bowie's version, since Bowie annoys me a tad. Here's a version on YouTube from 2000. The 2008 version is much better, but this one still rocks. I think this could be one of my fave cover songs of his. Although I really dig his version of The New York Doll's "Human Being" too. OK, Song Obsession Off.

Should I buy a pair of Maxxis Crossmarks? These tires look to roll super fast in dry stuff. Anyone rolling them? If Quantico is dry these might be the titz. Maxxis side walls scare me a bit, but there's no sidewall ripping rocks to speak of on the course that I can remember. Thoughts? Opinions? Bitches? Let me know before I freaking spend coin, or you'll be forced to hear me bitch about buying them and having them suck or not buying them and wishing I had. Throw a goo filled, pink-eyed, sore throat brother a freaking bone.

Time to cooks some food and "sigh like twig the wonder kid".

Later.

Horribly Ugly In Pink

Another day of rocking an eye that looks like I just participated in some sort of radical human drug testing. Who knew it was possible to have an eye without ONE spec of white in it?? I look like the spawn of Satan.

I did squeeze some time in on the trainer and some core stuff in. Hard for me to do with glasses on. Sweat all over them and taking them off is not an option. I am blind as a freaking bat! Oh well, I got a good sweat on and worked my core good to help keep it going for next weekend's Cranky Monkey. Lots of good folks are gonna be at the Monkey. Plum Grove Stewart and Bob A. are rocking the Duo, Travis, P.G. Pete, and myself will be rolling in the Male Solo (35+) category. I just need to get this eye thing cleared up by then!!

That's about it. I got nothing.

Later.

The Bodies "F" Bombs and Large Mothers

Things started heading south for me at Big Bear a couple weeks ago. Plug pulled after 3 laps, no energy, no power, no nothing. I had a couple days where my body just was not perking up and I had some thoughts that I MIGHT be getting sick due to brief sore throats, etc. But it went away, I started riding/"training" again and tried move on.

This past weekend I found myself having some good rides, but I in no way had the spankyness that I had a couple weeks ago. Saturday I found myself oozing goo out of my left eye. Got me some Pink Eye. Then by the end of Sunday's 40 miles I was way more tired than I usually am after a 40 mile road ride. So off to the Docs I went yesterday medication to rid me of spunk eye. Today I wake up today and the Pink Eye slightly better but now I have a sore throat and the Pink Eye has jumped ship to my right eye. I THINK my body might be telling my something. And I think it's "F*ck you Jason".

Today I still headed out to work with all my bike gear and my Campeon ready for a post work road session. Through the a.m. the sore throat never left, I was dragging ass, and I could hear hear the "f*ck you Jason" coming very clearly from my body again. So I finished up some work, sent out some proofs and came home to bed for few hours. The rest did me some good, and I'm anxious to return to slumber tonight. A ride will not be happening. I've heard my body drop enough "F" bombs at me today.

The past month has been sort of a junk kicker. Mentally and physically. It started with my back, missing the M.A.S.S. race, Big Bear's Suck Fest, Sore throats, Pink Eye, and another sore throat. I went through the entire winter with no injuries and no illnesses. Now I find myself stuck on a treadmill of suck.

Another day off the bike will be fine. Get these eyes goo free, and the throat feeling good. I really have the mental mojo going for the Cranky Monkey. A couple weeks ago that's something I really didn't think I'd have. Now I just need some quality rest, vitamins and some good food and hydration to get my bod's mojo back on track.

________________________________________________________________________

It was pretty cool to finally see Salsa's new rig- "The Big Mama". Looks like it should be a hit, with some neat features. The Mamasita is of course their light as hell, go fast bike, XC bike, and the Dos Niner (in my opinion) is the ultimate endurance racing 29er, so I think I bike with 4" of travel and will really help pull together the line up from Salsa.
I used to use the El Santo for Solos in '05 & '06. It was a great bike, but I found the lure of 29" and the Mamasita too strong, so it had to go. The Big Mama looks like it could be refined, 29" version of the El Santo. I'll be anxious to hear feedback from folks when the Sol Sessions are over and see what if they feel the Grande Madre would handle well and could built light enough to be considered for 12 & 24 solo racing.

The Big Mama Complete (available January 2009) is estimated at 29.5 pound for a medium. Looking at the parts and wheels in the complete build, while all solid and reliable, are a bit heavy. I would think if one were building up the frame using different wheels, brakes, and a few other components than those listed on the complete bike, the Mama could get down a couple more pounds easily. Very interesting.

Check out the Salsa website, which has now been updated to include the Big Mama, and check out all the bike geek techy info and and animations so as to be fluent in the language of The Big Mama. Check out the Amigos Blog too to see how the bike progressed over the past several months.

DOWNLOAD 29 PAGE BIG MAMA PDF: HERE

Time to take my oozing eyes and sore throat away to throw down some green tea. Or a beer. It's really at toss up at this point. Physical well being or short term mental happiness? Hmmmmm. 7:35 P.M. EDIT: When in doubt, have both. :)

Later.

Hey There Big Mama

Read about Salsa's brand new 29er trail bike- "The Big Mama" over on Guitar Ted's blog or 29".com where I horked this pic) and check Bikeman.com out what Big Al has to say about last night's presentation. New Salsa site will go live at 10:30 Central Time.

Later.

Four Eyes & Rideless Mondays Get Me Down

Had to go see the Doc today about the pink eye. I had been using some leftover drops of B-Man's to get me through the weekend, but as we all know that was not really the right way to heal up a case of skank eye. So to the Docs I went. I love my doctor. The only downside is she sort of an attractive woman with a cool African/Island accent. Let's just say I really NEVER plan on getting my prostrate check by her. I think I would rather die. I mean REALLY! Anytime a doctor is investigating anything involving intimate bits of the front and/or rear areas, he/she should really HAVE to look like the doctor from Cannonball Run.

Luckily she only had to look at my eye and say "Yep, you got pink eye". Drops were prescribed and off I went. The only shit part (other than having pink eye) is that I can't wear my contacts for a few days or more. So I have to sport the specs. Not bad for around the house or work, but my eyes are so bad, that when I wear glasses I have NO peripheral vision. It's just a wash of blur. Not really what you want when you're checking for cars coming up on your ass out on the road. I'm gonna try to get through my ride tomorrow, and then once this thing starts clearing up a bit just use contacts for when I ride and then get 'em out. Sorry Doc. That's just the way it's gotz to be.

Tonight was a scheduled night off the bike. Did a quick weight/core workout and then hit the yard for some major trimming. With the high temp, all the rain we've had and me giving two shits about what my yard looks like, the yard looked like a freaking jungle. I kid you not!

The weather around here has been completely psycho this summer. The past couple weeks it was 90 degrees and as humid as a South American coke plantation. Now the high temps this week are to be in the high 60s. Oh yeah, we will of course have rain. It's WPA. You gotta have rain and gray or people might start enjoying themselves and stop wanting to move. Even today. Sunny, then cloudy, then storms, then sunny, then rain, then storms, then sunny. For Christopher's' sake, make up your F'ing mind!!

I think I'm blathering on and I need to stop. I'm filled with a bit of nervous excitement. You see the Salsa Sol Sessions kicked off yesterday, and tonight Salsa will be debuting two new models to the press and some dealer type folks (including Big Al @ Bikeman.com). I kinda, sorta, have some vague knowledge of what it is (as do many folks who lurk about bike forums all day instead of working), but I by NO means know more than it will have 29" and will be lusted for by many folks. I'm stoked to see what they roll out, as well as see the updated Salsa website on Tuesday. Stay tuned to Pepperland and here for more lusty info.

Time to rest the eye. I guess that means no porn.

Later.

F'Day Ride In The Pink

Through the night I started wondering if a ride would even happen today. I apparently have finally caught Pinkeye from B-Man. Little dude had it a couple weeks ago, it's been going around his day care, and I know I've been fighting something for a few days. Well yesterday what started as an eye booger in the early afternoon blossomed into a full on puss oozig, stoner like blood shot eye by night fall. Great. I woke up several times through the night to rinse my eye with warm water so as to be able to open it. It truly was disgusting. I felt and looked like a $2 porn star. DISGUSTING!

So as you can imagine I had a pretty shitty night's sleep. But I wanted/needed/had to ride today. That's just the way it is. It's Sunday, it's sunny, I've got mojo, I HAVE to ride! The only thing that I had to be sure of was that I could get a contact in my swollen, nasty ass eye, since wearing my suck ass glasses is not a real option. I did, and I could see. Ride on!

I wanted to get a longer ride in today, but after a semi-sleepless night, a eyeful of puss, and the knowledge that my body is fighting something off I settled for my 40 mile Scottdale loop and 2:20 of ride time. Did a lot of seated climbing today. Sit, push the big gears and really use the leg and ass muscles while trying to pedal as good a circle as I could. Holy leg burn!

It felt good to be out, even if it was the road and my bod wasn't working at 100%. I'll take it though. No choice really. Hard to ever bitch about over two hours of saddle time, no matter what. Ass on saddle = great. Period.

Hope you all got some miles in.

Later.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you seed planters out there!

You know I never actually saw myself as father. Sometimes I still can't believe it. But I have to say I can NOT imagine not having B-Man in my life. Life changed when he was born. It got HARDER for sure. But just like doing a hundie or a Solo. the best things in life are not always easy. I love the challenge what trying to be a good father is. It would be easy some days to quit.

I might not be able to teach B-Man much about math, English, science, history, current events, manners, or anything that might him make him successful in real life (I'm REALLY counting on Wifey's Super Sized Brain for that stuff). But I KNOW I can teach him to push himself, have fun, and be respectful to folks. As well as the REALLY important stuff like riding his bike, fart jokes, and how to score with chicks. OK, he might want to consult someone else about the chick thing.

I guess what I'm saying is that 4 years in I often STILL can't believe I'm a father. But more than that I can't believe I'm B-MAN'S father. He's too special, too fun, too perfect. He might be able to find a better father, but I could never find a better son. I thank God that he's in my life. Happy Father's Day to me.

Time to ride. Later.

P.S. I got some cool gifts from B-Man this morning. I also caught the case of Pink Eye he had 2 weeks ago. Oh well bad with the good. Time to get ready to ride with my blood shot, puss oozing, swollen eye. Good times, good times....

Squeezed

I HAD to ride today. No ifs, ands or buts. I got up early, got some java down my trap and then started checking the weather. Mr. Weatherman said that there was about a 3 hour window before the next batch of showers and possible thunderstorms would move through our lovely area.

Who know how long the line of showers would stick around? So I downed a quick breakfast, mixed up some bottles and headed out with the Campeon to get a quick ride in. I needed to ride. BAD! Two days off the bike was turning me into sort of a dick head around the house and had me obsessing about my weight like a Lifetime Movie Of The Week teenage girl.

In a perfect world I would have liked to get out for 3 to 4 hours. Due to the possibility of heavy rains and thunderstorms I played it safe and made due with an extended "Soccer Field Loop". I hit about 38 miles of road, enjoyed the humid, swamp ass temps, and avoided rain for 2:15 of a 2:17 ride. The rain we got was pretty moderate but didn't last all that long. Maybe only an hour or so. Had I known it wasn't going to last all that long or ever materialize into the thunderstorms they said we MIGHT get, I would have prepared for the lusted 3/4 hour ride. But I didn't. Dems da breaks.

I'm not going to bitch too much. It was just nice to get out and get a loop in. I don't seem to mind riding in the humid conditions as long as it's not also 90 degrees. The 75 and humid that this morning had was pretty nice. Today was a 3 Bottle Day. One Heed, one Gatorade/Carbo Pro Plus and one plain water. For a summer ride 3 bottles is usually my norm to take with me. Nothing worse than being out on some hot ass road and have nothing left but a few drops of piss warm Heed. So I stash an insurance bottle in my jersey to make sure.

I had a moment today were I was sooo happy to keep the rubber side down. I was rounding a downhill corner on Rt. 48. I was going about 30 MPH and there was a big ass Buick with a gray hair at the wheel behind me. As I approached the corner I spied some gravel that washed across the road from last night's rains. Major braking was not an option. Moving out around was not an option (due to the aforementioned old woman piloted Buick). So I tightened up the ol' sphincter, tried to scrub a little bit of speed and hit the gravel at the best angle I could. All of this happened in about 3 seconds but it seemed like an eternity. I blasted through the gravel, kept it up right and kept on truckin'.

It's times like that make me long to be barreling down a rooty, rocky, muddy, single track down hill. Where the only thing I need to worry about is hitting a tree. NOT a Buick driven by an old lady who may or may not run right over my fallen, spandex clad carcass and just keep on motoring. Oh well, it all ended up fine. Just one of those "bad timing" type scenarios that I'm damn glad worked out.

It was nice to get out earlier in the morning than I usually do. Less traffic, quite, and peacful for the most of the ride. Things got busier during the second half when the Mini Van Soccer Moms and Home Improvement Pick Up folks woke up and started to stir.

Do you remember the pick up truck I mentioned some time ago that had the "If It Ain't Red Leave It In The Shed" sticker? I see this truck passing on the road during about EVERY ride now. Including today. It's like I have my very own Hick Guardian Angel". I'm still not down with all that tractor speak, but I rest easy knowing he's out there. Doing whatever it is he does, and watching me. I feel safer knowing he's got my back. Apparently he's also got a cool ass tractor. Cheers to you Mr. Ain't Red Dude.

I had a nice post ride snack. Bite Size Shredded Wheat with some GNC Cookies & Cream Whey and Skim Milk. Really boosted the taste of the otherwise sort of bland whole wheat. And I got some quality carbs, fiber, protein, and amino acids in the bod.

Unlike today, tomorrow the weather is supposed to be sweet. Hoping to get 40 to 50 in. That would be a nice Father's Day gift! It is currently pissing down rain here again. I think I might kick up the suck and force myself to go for groceries at Wal-Mart. Folks there should be pretty ripe with stank with all the humidity, rain, and general B.O. Oh well, When in Rome....

Later.

A Friday With No Mojo or Ballz

Yep, this is a no ride, no ballz, no mojo Friday. The second week in a row that Turkey Ball Friday has not happened. I just wasn't feeling the ballz tonight. Maybe that's went wrong at Big Bear? I needed Ballz! My cheeks hit the saddle and my bod was like "what about the ballz???" Yeah, I'm sure THAT was it.

Seriously, I was having a real "fat" day today. I felt like I was just jiggling all over the place. I KNOW I've gained weight from last year. I refuse to get on the scale to see how much though. It could be from this or from that. Either way the extra pounds are surely there. I don't want to know how many. I know I need to step up and trim the diet down. The only REAL thing I see that I've had more of is beer calories. I'm hoping to stay clear of as many beers in the coming weeks. It's just hard, 'cause GOD DAMN DO THEY TASTE GOOD!!!

If you combine last week's "suck turned up to eleven" race with my weekday ride hours being down, you have all the makings of a super suck mental state. I've been struggling to get my weekday ride hours. I then have to get big hours (for me) in on the weekend. I still end up with about the same amount of hours, but much of the time it all makes me feel like a sweaty, bloated, hog. Not good.

I am feeling good about racing the Cranky Monkey. Race entered, hotel booked, plan in place. I think 12 hour races and 100s are my fave races. Both take me about the same amount of time and both let my push myself without thinking "wow, I might die out here in the woods!" HA!

As luck would have it, they are calling for a 70%+ chance of thunderstorms through the day. Great. I hope to squeeze at least 2 hours of road goodness in and I REALLY hope for 4+ hours of saddle time. Let's see what the helmet haired weather man throws my way.

Time for some sleep. I need to de-funk.

Later.

Birthdays, Bad Beer, Work & Dutch Ovens

No ride today due to hanging with B-Man whilst Wifey went to the gym to try to get her 37 year old self in shape. It's also Wifey's B-Day and we have some post Wifey "sweat fest" festivities (dinner and small cake) to take care of. Who knows, if the planets align just right, there JUST might be some crime to take care of in her 37 year old neighborhood.

I need to vent about a beer. Victory Brewing's Whirlwind Wheat. Holy suck-a-lot. I love just about everything that Victory puts in a bottle, but I have to say I am NOT digggin' the Whirlwind Wheat. I've had it before and dug it. Not sure what the problem is, but it does not hold up as a wheat beer and it is a poor excuse for a Belgian White. Check out the web site. They beautiful foamy head that they show just does NOT happen. If you can get one to happen it lasts for about 30 seconds. I will say if you drink out of a bottle you don't notice it holds up. I had a case of Celis White in my hands last week and put in back in favor a PA brewer. Damn. Looks like I need to go buy something else tomorrow.

Big work stuff going on today. "Streamlining" they call it. I call it "folks losing their jobs". I once again escaped harm. HOW, I do NOT know??? I guess they think I'm good or something. I may be moving offices for the 5th time though. That sort of sucks. I hate change. Getting tired of worrying about getting laid off from I job I hate. I almost wish it would just happen already so I would be more motivated to do something that I would actually enjoy/be passionate about with my life. Until then, I'll just keep plugging along for the paycheck and the vacation time. I'll try to keep the passion where it belongs. With my racing attempts and this blog.

In the end a disappointing night from a fitness/nutritional stand point. There was no ride or workout, but there WAS beer, Mexican food, and cake. I guess I have to just focus on the fact that it was only a few beers, the Mexican was made with lean ground beef, brown rice, fat free cheese and Guiltless Gourmet chips. Oh well. Just another excuse to try to ride longer this weekend. Plus I'm trying to put on another layer of fat to burn during Solo events. ;)

Have you ever received a catalog from Rapha? I got one in the mail yesterday. My God is it sweet! More like a small magazine, with great photos, good stories, on a sweet stock of paper. Oh yeah, it also has a bunch of sweet cycling gear that I could not begin to be able to afford. Really a cool booklet with some killer pics and design. I dig it the most.

Time to go unbutton my pants, let one rip and go to bed. Nothing says "happy birthday" like a Dutch Oven. Kidding of course. Sort of. OK, yes, I'm that gross. My bad.

Later.

Foxes & The Way Home

I did a nice post work road loop tonight. Just a hair over 30 miles. I clocked only about 1:50 of ride time, but it was damn nice to be in the saddle. The weather was a pristine. Warm, sunny with just a hint of breeze. Even though I physically felt like a smooshed dog turd all day, my bod bounced back by chamois time.

I took a small detour off of one of my normal roads today. I knew it would shorten my mileage a hair, but I needed to see something different. I'm glad I did. First I had to slow and wait for two mallard ducks to cross the road. Then as I headed up the climb I saw a fox. No, not a nubile blond in "Daisy Dukes" (no such luck), or 100 mm of plush travel, but a real fox. I think this may only have been the 2nd time in 36 years I've ever seen one. Pretty neat. So for now, my life's "Fox Line Score" looks like this... Fox Forks 3, Real Foxes 2, Nubile Blond Foxes in "Daisy Dukes" 0.

Towards the end of my loop tonight I started having one of those warm and fuzzy ride moments. I'm sure you'll know what I'm talking about. We've all been there. Up since 6:30 a.m, work all day taking shit from the shit givers and now you're stoked to be on your bike doing what you love. You're having a sweet ride, you notice your shadow growing ever longer and pedaling beside you. The temps are cooling off just a bit, your bottles are nearly empty and your stomach is getting hungry. You find yourself starting to think of what sort of grub you're gonna stuff in your face when you get home (rice and beans) or whether you'll allow yourself a beer (no).

All of those things provide some motivation to get you over the last couple climbs and on your way home. The ride was damn good. You pushed yourself, burned some calories and had a good time in the saddle. Sometimes though it's equally as good to experience the satisfaction of returning home to relax, see the ones you love and cook up some tasty food. It never fails that I think all those warm, fuzzy, endorphin fueled thoughts while I'm riding, then I get home and Wifey asks "how was your ride?" And all I can muster up is "pretty good".

Tomorrow is Wifey's birthday. 37 years old. I can't believe she's almost 40!! Holy crap! As my late Grandma Helen would say "it's hell gettin' old!". Just kidding of course. She's not almost 40, she's at the end of her mid 30s! Happy Birthday Wifey! You rock.

Later.

Done With It

I am officially done with the mourning of my suck performance at Big Bear. No use dwelling on it. I'm will not make excuses for my performance. Yes, it was hot, it was muddy, and I had no power. I sucked. Time to mmmmmmmmmmmove on. There's a whole season of racing still to come.

No doubt on Saturday I had some thoughts that I would never race again. What's the point? Yada, yada, yada... The point is good or bad, suck or podium, I enjoy racing. I enjoy thinking about it, reading about it, writing about it, and damn it I enjoy riding my mountain bike. Whether it's 3 laps or 15 laps.

Next up- The 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey. I was disappointed that I was going to miss this race it 2008. But to do a 12 Hour so soon after a 24 Solo would have be stupid and a recipe for burn out. But since I only raced 3 laps at Big Bear... Game on! Signed up today and come June 28th, I'll be good to go.

There were threats of strong storms around today, so I opted for some spinning and some core/weight stuff in the basement. Nothing too nut dropping, just needed to do something. I'm riding tomorrow for sure, I'm just not sure where. Can't wait.

Took the time to give the Dos Niner it's second post Big Bear wash tonight. This time it was "the good wash". Simple Green, lube, etc., Should be ready for action now.

Time to look at bike porn.

Later.

Race Report: 6.5 Hours of Big Bear

Friday afternoon Wifey, B-Man and I loaded up the Soob and rolled a couple hours south to Big Bear Lake Campground in West Virginia. Home of pimped out golf carts, beer fueled hick-ness, sweet single track and The 2008 24 Hours of Big Bear.

After we paid our $20 to be able to camp at the race venue (WTF?) we headed towards the Solo pits. Ran into long time race friend and Solo friggin' master- Bob Anderson. Bob guided us to a sweet spot that he was sharing with fellow Soloist and Plum Grove teammate Stewart Staton. Bob, Stewart and their families are top notch folks and it was a pleasure to once again be sharing a pit area with them.

The afternoon was H.O.T.. I'm talking Dante 9 Circles hot!! B-Man played with sticks in the shade whilst Wifey and I did our best "city folk in the country" impersonations putting up the EZ Up and tent. Luckily Wifey's brain size dwarfs mine and proved that brain power can sometimes still win out over basic camping skills and my inherent stupidity.

Our Big Bear home.

The sun was intense, the humidity was "womb like" and I was completely soaked in sweat by the time we were done setting up. My trusty T6 cap was completely covered in salt and dripping sweat. I had been, and was sucking down water and ounces and ounces of Nuun to maintain at least some semblance of hydration. FACTS ABOUT URINE: I was peeing often and clear.

My T6 lid. Salty and stank.

When our temporary home for the weekend was set up I didn't know what to do. My back was stiff and I was filled with the nervous energy that only a ride in the woods would take care of. So, I was off for a course pre ride. The trail looked great from our on course camp spot, but upon talking with Justin from PT and others, it seems that there were several areas of DEEP mud and running water. Great.

Here's some Big Bear mud. 2008.

So I took off on the Mamasita. I felt good and was having fun cruising the course. Once I hit the first mud bog my enthusiasm waned a bit, but not enough to keep me from enjoying the trail on my bike. The folks were right. The further you got in to the course (especially on the first half) there were more and more water holes to zap your speed. My 29" tires plowed through no problem, but there was much spinning to get it done. Still, no worries- everyone would be in the same boat. No use peeing in my beer. FACTS ABOUT URINE: I'm not sure "peeing in my beer" is a saying or not. I would never pee in my beer. I've drank beer and I have of course peed. And I've drank bad beer that tasted like pee. I use this in the same vain as the saying "no use crying over spilled milk".

There was some "new to me trail" that rocked. It added more fun rocky single track and more twists before going back into the old section in the pines. I couldn't wait to ride this section at night. Bombing through twisty trail at night is one of the top 5 reasons to race a 24 for sure.

OK, OK, enough about the freaking pre ride and what my pee is like. I'll cut to the chase- I got back, washed the Mamasita, washed me, we went got pizza, got back and had a pretty good night's sleep in the tent. Compared to the sleepless rainy nights in a tent at Snowshoe, listening to folks drinking their faces off to avoid thoughts of another rainy race, this was heaven!

Up early race day to plenty of sunshine, some iced coffee and a good 5+ hour wait until race time. That's the worst! I hate waiting around for the race to start. I can only do so much double checking, and worrying. Not to mention the temps were climbing fast, and by noon the heat was gonna be intense!

You know it's hot when you try to put your bibs on and it's like trying to get leather pants on a fat girl. I mean holy sweaty thighs!! I was also in a pickle with my head gear. I had some homemade skull caps to wear under my helmet to keep the sweat off my glasses, but they weren't doing such a great job. So I went with an old cotton cycling cap. This would prove to be no match for the showers of sweat that were about the pour forth from my cranium.

As noon approached I was all kitted up and checked in. Started out to the start line so as to get ready for the run to the bikes. As I walked I met up with the Fat one. Exchanged man hugs and caught up on shit. Always great to talk with Marc. Another one of those guys that is always a pleasure to see and talk with at the races.

At the start I stood and stretched in the shade. No use getting too close to the front. I run like a horse bound for the glue factory. A lumber that always has brings back "fat kid in gym class" memories. Soon enough the count down commenced- 4, 3, 2, 1.... WE'RE OFF! OK, most folks were off. I did my lumber. Huffing, sweating, trying not to get trampled by the young and the talented. I made it to the Dos Niner. Now it was time for the flat spin prologue. I spun easily. Wifey handed up a bottle of carbo goodness for me and I tried to get my heart rate down and my breathing under control before I hit the single track.

Even with the run and the prologue loop, it still got backed up once the huge group of riders hit the single track. A couple stops, a couple dabs and finally things opened up. The plan was to do as easy of a pace as I could possibly do through the heat of the day and then increase my pace as it got cooler in the late day and evening. Try to hydrate, stay well fed and cool for as long as I could.

What I didn't count on is the fact that the power sucking mud required so much effort to get through, even a slow pace was taking a LOT of effort. I was pumping out a ton of sweat and my legs felt like they were filled with a combination of lead and lard. Sweat was pouring over my glasses, I could not keep from blowing up and even middle ring climbs were kicking my ass. In other words I was feeling like an overheated turd stuffed into spandex riding like a beginner. The mind was getting dark. Fast.

I discovered a few things very quickly on that first lap. The hat was gonna have to go. It was too hot for anything on my noggin. Next, using my half finger gloves for the first time all year was a mistake. I was quickly getting rubbage on my thumbs. I would need to make a switch. The final thing I discovered was that I was going to need to pull out all the mental exercises early in order to get my mind to a place that would allow me to regroup and focus on 22 more hours in the saddle.

After a nearly 2 hour first lap (1:51????) I stopped, ditched the hat, got a new bladder, bottle, and glasses. I failed to switch gloves (mistake) but a short rest in the shade and some cooling off with some cool water in the face via a spray bottle was getting my core temp down. Time for another lap.

I hit the first technical section with all the vigor of Viagraless old man. I was struggling up short climbs and just longed to be done with the first half of the lap. I knew things got pretty fun once I made it to the pines and just tried to stay focused, pedal and keep moving forward.

The new to me rocky section just before the pines was fun and my Dos Niner and Fox fork were the titz! I was getting some serious travel from the fork and the 29er tires were making the rock drops look like riding off city curb. I did notice my rebound was a little quick in the Fox, but I'll worry about that some other time.

After the pines I weaved through the rocky down hill to the creek bed. I FINALLY found a good line through the creek bed and enjoyed the cool water and mud. Brake pads-shmake pads I need cooled off!! Then it was a nice gradual up hill to let the bones recover from the down hill. I kept it going, but my plan to go slow on purpose was nixed by having SLOW as my only real option. I was sucking hard. I mean HARD!

Just after the rocky hike-a-bike I looked back to see Tinker tip toeing over the rocks and then mounting up to fly up the long climb. We exchanged hellos and and off he went. I kept on walking with the one goal of getting to the shade of my pit and getting cooled off again.

Another long lap and as I crossed over the bridge the announcer made it known I was coming in. Often this can be little ego boost to get me going. Now it just made me think - "If they only knew I wanted to lay down and cry!!" HA!

Once to the pit, I ate some Chex Mix (salty goodness) drank some Coke (sugary goodness) and sat in the shade for about 10+ minutes. Wifey did her best to motivate me and finally get me out on another lap. Lap 2 with the pit stop was 2 freaking 10!!

Just as I was leaving Bob A. pulled in to get fueled up. He would pass me a few minutes later. He looked in the freaking zone, but still shouted a quick "hi" as he passed. I was feeling pretty refreshed. "Maybe I could save this?" I thought. I plowed through the first few muddy rocky sections with no dabs, hit the top of the first slight climb, spun out, nearly tipped over and all my energy and potential mojo shot out of my ass like projectile diarrhea!

I now pedaled and walked around my 3rd lap motivated by quitting and thinking of ways to salvage the night. The B-Man was staying with my sister down in Morgantown, so I figured I would put in my last lap, and then Wifey and I would just consider this a very expensive camping trip to a race venue and try to have some fun.

As I hoofed up one of the last muddy climbs, I saw Stewart coming up behind me. He looked sort of bad, asked if I needed anything and said- "THIS SUCKS!!" I figured if a fast, experienced Solo rider like him thought it sucked. It SUCKED!

Once again as I bombed down from the bridge to the check in tent I heard the announcer say my name and give me Solo props. He then mentioned my sponsors- Bikeman.com, Salsa Cycles, etc., etc., I was overwhelmed with embarrassment at my performance and felt that I had no right to even have a freaking sponsor! I was putting a performance filled to the brim with suck. I make a formal apology right now to all the folks that help. I'm sorry. I had nothing. I pray it was just a bad day.

I clocked out, and slinked back to my pit like an embarrassed beaten dog. When I walked down to the pit, I saw Stewart ditching his clothes. His bad ankle had gotten worse with all the clipping in/out and he was done. Wifey did her best to motivate me, but I knew what I had in the tank... Nothing! Just the desire to stop.

Wifey and I made the descision to stay the night, get some beverages and hang out with Stewart, his wife, and Bob A.'s family. We would eat some food, drink some beer and help Bob try to get on to the podium. Something we were confident he could do.

I then spent 30 minutes taking a shower that had all the water pressure of being peed on by a Chihuahua with freezing cold urine. Wifey and I picked up some beverages and Mr. Staton (Stewart's dad) fired up the grill to cook some of the best burgers I've ever tasted in my life! FACTS ABOUT URINE: I have never been peed on by a Chihuahua. I have been peed on by a Wiener Dog though. It was nice to at least have water to get some ass stank cleaned up. Although it took a LOT to get 3 laps worth of mud off my legs with said cold dog like golden shower.

Bob A. was out on his first night lap and his 6th lap. We all waited, keeping track of splits, and waiting for Bob. We waited a LONG time and no Bob. Now he had been lapped by the leaders. Where's Bob? Blair was getting nervous and we figured a mechanical had set him back.

Eventually after what I think was like 3 hours Bob showed up. Walking down from the camping area. He had just had some serious bonk, stomach issues, a nap in the weeds and a ride on quad up to the check in. His race was over. All 3 of us- finished! Blair did her best (as Pit Wives do) to get him back out there, but he was done. Bob is a unique person and was still in good spirits and ready to join us in trying to have some fun.

The 3 of us made the commitment to stay up through the night, eating hot dogs, drinking beer and heckling at/yelling support for the racers still going. We took the shit of the day and molded it into a good time. Talking bikes, lamenting ever doing another 24 Solo, and having fun till 4 A.M. did a LOT to ease the pain of quitting. I was glad to have some friends to share the night with.

There was a ton of suffering out there on the couse. Not just from me, Stewart and Bob, but from at LOT of other racers. I overheard the EMS crew say that this one one of the busiest events they've done so far. Lots of folks going down from the heat and the brutality of parts of the course.

Cheers to the folks that kept it going all night. Cha-Cha Steve S. put in a hell of a fight, Ernie kept pace with Tinker, and Tinker was FREAKING TINKER! He's a "freak" in the nice guy, 47 year old endurance f*cking freak sort of way. It was a pleasure to watch him race.

Jury is out on any more 24s. But since I only did 3 laps I may have the mojo to hit up the 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey now. Time to look in the mirror and see if somthing more than a 36 year old, pointy nosed bike geek is staring back.

Big thanks to Wifey for her support. She did it all, and rocked! Also thank to all the folks the yelled out encouragment to me. It was appreciated. Thanks to Ian for not only buying my Reba that he rolled on his back up Waltworks, but for dropping off some Hammer Endurlyte Powder to me on Friday. BTW, check out Ian's lap times! Holy shit dude! He and the Dirty Dawgs lit up the 5 person Co-Ed division.,, Great job!

Time to forget about this event. It will be hard though. I looked forward to this event and spent a lot of scratch to do it. But I brought my "D" game to the table. Tough love I guess. But I gotta tell you, tough love sorta sucks.

Later.