Have A Good One!

Gonna make this short, since I'm sitting here in stank chamois, just off the trainer. I just want to say Happy New Year to all my peeps, teammates, former teammates, sponsors, fellow bike geeks, friends, family, readers, Romans, countrymen, etc., etc., etc., Let the year of the back strain, blood clot, strep throat, pink eye, DNF, and general malaise f*cking END! And let 2009 start!

Wishing you all Top 5 finishes, long rides, endless single track, no traffic roads, safe journeys, no mechanicals (unless I'm racing against you, then that's my only shot!), no flats, and numbless nether regions in 2009. Be safe if you venture out tonight. Lot dumb asses out there.

Later.

An Open Can Of Suck

B-man went to hang with Papa-O' today, so that freed up my afternoon to get some miles in. The plan was to roll the Dos Niner on the shit roads, rail trail and back roads near my house. 2 to 3 hours was planned. After I made the B-Man delivery I hurried off to the ride's launching pad near the soccer fields. I had this feeling that I forgot something as I pulled into my parking nook. Helmet? Shoes? Bottles? Spare tube?

Soooo, PDQ I was back in the Soob and off to get my shoes that I left RIGHT were my bike was before I took it out out to mount up. This was the first time EVER that I forgot my shoes on a ride. Frig!!! So now I'm all freaked out because it's now 1:40 and I have yet to pedal one f*cking RPM. By the time I got BACK and all set to ride it was after 2. Shit!!

Serenity now... Serenity now.... Serenity now..... OK, OK, So I'm back and ready to ride. I took the Dos Niner today. It had been ages since I was on the Dos and I've yet to ride on my new wheelz that Tim The Enchanter built up for me. So I figured, what the hell. Roll the Dos on the shit road, maybe hit some ghetto single track and quad trails, who knows?

Right near where I park is an old defunct (or at least nasty ass) county park that folks ride ATVs in. I figured I'd ride a few of the trails to get some dirt under my wheels. I went about 30 feet, sunk 10 inches and flew over my bars. The hell with that!! So I scampered out of the woods and back to the road.

If you ever want to feel like a big sack of out of shape pig shit. Stuff you post holiday body into 5 layers of spandex, including a pair of tights that have NEVER fit, even when I was 20 pounds lighter! Size medium? What the f*ck was I thinking??. Then ride a 29er with FULL knobbies on pavement. You will start to entertain thoughts of climbing off your bike, laying down in the middle of the road, and praying that the next Camaro blaring vintage Aerosmith that comes by, runs right over your stuffed sausaged ass. Seriously.

The ride was only 2:10 and it was tough. Mentally and physically. Saturday and Sunday the bi-polar borderline temps had me over dressed. Today I was UNDER dressed. My legs felt like lead, and my mind could not get past the whirl of the knobbies and the stomach crushing, split nut hugging, feeling of being in tights that were indeed too TIGHT!

Have you ever been out on a road ride and you heard a freaking LOUD whirl coming at you, looked over your shoulder and see a Red Neck in a jacked up truck sporting mud tires like these?...

Today my tires sounded EXACTLY like the tires above and my legs felt like that's what they were pushing. The IRD/Panaracer Fire Pros make Maxxis CrossMarks look like 700c road slicks. I could not wait to get to the the link in the loop that would have me on the rail trail for a few miles. At least I could ditch that f*cking noise!!

The bad thing was that when I got the rail trail it was like wet sand. Not soaked, but not it's usual fast rolling lime stone self. I guess 110" of rain in a week WILL do that (that of course is an exaggeration).

I know I just did a LOT of bitching about today's ride, but I can't bitch TOO much. I was out for over 2 hours, in December, burned more calories than most people even consume in a day and made my legs feel like shit JUST by pushing hard on mountain bike with full knobbies. Will I do it again? NOT with the IRDs! I can tell you that, but yeah, I'll be riding the Mamasita more on the shit roads, but with CrossMarks or similar tire.

Even suffering, it was hard not to smile a LITTLE with the bright winter sun out in force today. It was sweet. It was like Helios was working some serious O.T.

I'm not much of a Pagan or into Greek Mythology (although I DO dance around in goat skin pants) but I guess sacrificing The Virgin Connie Swail last night really worked. Hmmmm....

______________________________________________

Things you DO NOT want to hear from the Hematologist' office that you just gave 5 viles of blood to last month in an attempt to figure out WHY, at 37, you have a blood clot in your leg...

Ring... ring... ring...
"Hello"
'Mr. Mahokey?"
"Yep."
This is "Pat" from Dr. "Can't Remember's" office, I have some bad news..."
(Bad news?? Gulp, might pass out, can't think...)
"Oh, what?"
"Your appointment on Friday needs to be moved"
Yada, yada, yada....

WHAT?? ARE YOU SERIOUS?? I almost passed out!! I mean REALLY!! Should a Doctors office REALLY say "Bad News" about anything OTHER than (Cancer, Heart Disease, Kidney Failure, etc., etc.,??) Oh well, at least it's none of those things. YET! Geeze-0-Wiz!!!

___________________________________________

Picking up my XB in the Xa.m.. Sweet! New year, new wheelz. Suck thing is, my rack parts are back ordered for a week. Oh well, the way I've been riding, I'm in NO hurry to get back out there! Kidding of course, the bike can fit in the back if I take a wheel off and lower the post.

Then tomorrow night Wifey, B-Man and I are heading to Yancey's digz for some New Year's eats and beer. Word has it if someone brings some Delirium Noel, Yancey might eat a whole sheet cake and pass out in his bathroom naked again. HA! Ah, it won't be that freaky. We're too old with too many important things in our lives- like bikes, kids and wives. In NO particular order! ;) Plus as I'm sure you'll be shocked.. I HATE New Years! Although I AM looking foward ditching 2008. There were some good things, but 2009 just HAS TO BE better!

Later.

P.S. made my version of THESE vegetarian Sloppy Joes tonight. I took a vegetarian version of this White Trash staple and made it my own with and extra helping of slack and a dollop of "Don't Have That". Good stuff.

Pharmacy Induced Velo C*ck Block

Today offered up some nice crisp, but sunny weather to WPA. I longed to ride, and planned to ride, it would just have to wait until after 4 sometime. B-Man's Day Care is closed until the 2nd, and Wife is not off until Thursday, so I needed to step up my Dadness, hang out, play, and make sure he survived to play another day. I planned on hitting the rail trail tonight after Wifey got home from work. I had the Dos set up with the Apex, my helmet set up with a fully charged PTSb3 and a couple of bottles readied. At least all that was my plan. Then the day happened...

Car Talk Part II

I got motivated to go check out the Mazda 5 with B-Man. It's a sweet ride and has a ton of room inside. The short test drive felt pretty good and at the end of the test drive I knew the XB was going to have some competition. I still wasn't sold on it but it was looking good. Then they gave me the numbers. They were gonna give me WAY less the my peeps at Scion were gonna give me for my Soob and I was already getting a deal on the price (I know some people, that know some people, that sell some people some advertising) so there wasn't not much wiggle room. Now the Scion was looking better again. But the M5 was pretty nice. Hmmmm.

Then I go the call from my Scion dude and he had one for me to drive (the one I looked at Saturday was just being taken to another dealer 5 minutes after I got there). So when Wifey got home we headed down to drive it. It felt SO much snappier to me than the M5 did and just felt "right". If felt like a smaller, quicker handling version of my old Honda Element. Being WAY cheaper sort of rocks too. I loved it! Wifey liked it, and B-Man liked the inside a lot, but said he didn't like the outside's "shape". Anyway- it felt great, looked great and we should have a silver XB tomorrow or Wednesday. STOKED! This is one of the FEW times I've felt this positive about buying a car. New rack parts to be ordered tonight.

Velo C*ck Blocked

After the test drive I needed to go pick up my rat poison/anti-blood clot medicine at the pharmacy. Called it in at 8 a.m., was to be ready at Noon, and it's now 5. This should take 1 minute. WRONG! I waited in line for 10 minutes just to have them tell me they STILL had not filled it, and I had to wait another 10 minutes for them to fill it etc., etc., By the time I got home and got dressed it was close to 6. By the time I would have got the trail it would have been after 6 and WAY after 8 by the time I would finish and after 9 by the time I could eat dinner. FRIG!

B-Man has a play date with Papa-O' tomorrow, so I want to get a longer ride in. So I just sucked it up and did a quick 45 minutes on the trainer to loosen the legs up. It was mentally tough to focus on a real workout. I hadn't planned to ride the trainer, so I was all over the place with the workout. But calories were burned and a sweat was broken. I hope tomorrow turns out better than today in the ride department!

Ordered the new issue of Rouleur on Sunday. I can't believe I laid down that sort of jing for a f*cking magazine, but it looks cool, and I'm desperate for motivation this time of year, sooooo, ordered it I did. I'll let you know if I think it was worth it. Then again I'm sure I'll convince myself it was worth it based on it's cover price. So don't listen to me. Not that your really should anyway.

Through the magic of VisualHub and the WWW. I off to burn 7 world cup CX races on to one DVD. Oh yeah baby! That's about 10 hours of racing on one DVD. Sssshweeet!

Later.

Let The Holiday End & Randomness Begin

I want to go back to work tomorrow. I long for the routine. I love my family, but I also love the routine and structure of the normal workday, training, eating schedule, etc. Sadly for me this will not come soon. But I will make the best of it, try to get some stuff done for the house, rides in, car stuff, etc., etc., (Yancy I might be calling you for some help with removing our 3 ton stove!)

After yesterday's leg suck fest, I knew I wouldn't ride today, but I still needed to get out and do SOMETHING. Time was limited today, so I headed out for a jog (or is it yogging with a soft J?). Only 20 minutes and a little over 2 miles, but when you're not a runner (at all!) 2.2 miles is enough. (it's 6:30 and my legs are STILL recovering, but in a good way).

I felt embarrassed when I got the solidarity wave from another runner. I felt like I should do a U-ie, catch up with him and do my best to explain that I'm really NOT a runner and the thing that I was doing may RESEMBLE running, but in fact is an embarrassing lumber of sorts and I'm really NOT worthy of the solidarity wave. At all!!

I thought it was funny that yesterday I rode for 2 hours with an average heart rate of 142. Today I ran for only 20 minutes and my average heart rate was the same. I guess I have the lumbering endurance pace down??

Feeling random...

Tony B. is (was) on right now while I type. I love this dude. I love his show and I'm really digging my new book. His over the top obnoxious writing style reminds me of my own in some ways. No I'm NOT comparing myself to a professional writers skills. Just the over-the-top obnoxiousness the comes through in his style occasionally and mine constantly. To know me is to hate me I guess.

Have I mentioned that the song "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Sir Paul McCartney makes me want to set myself on fire and jump off the 31st Street Bridge? No? Well it does!

Car Talk On...

I/we should have a new vehicle by the end of the week. The Soob is just not gonna make it. Shit's going wrong, no room, etc. etc.,, I REALLY like having no car payment, but it gotz to be. I'm 99.999% sure we're going with the Scion XB. I REALLY liked my Honda Element when I had it, but it was 4WD (overrated IMHO) and SUCKED on gas. When you drive from Pittsburgh to Virginia (or further) 3+ times a year to race you want good gas mileage AND room. It's The XB is the one (I think).

The Mazda 5 has an outside chance if I get motivated to go into Monroeville tomorrow and they give me a sweet ass offer. My Scion dude gave me a pretty nice offer on the Soobie yesterday and the XB is titz. Nice standard equipment and loads of room inside. We love our XA, it's just small. When sitting in the XB it FEELS like a BETTER version of the Honda Element. Smaller on the outside (making a roof rack easier), but nicer on the inside and a better "feel". The '09 can tow too. In the next couple years I'd like to look into a light weight sleeper/camper to go to races or (enter mountain town name here) in the future.

I also like that the Scion peeps are local and I sorta dig that. It's the lowest priced vehicle we looked at and I love the fact that they don't feed you all that bull shit that U.S. auto makers do with sale prices! No "military, college grad, one arm, no dick, small dick, big dick, dog owner, dead beat dad, discount/rebate shit". Just THIS is the price, THIS is what your trade is worth and THIS is your payment. Plus I like to NOT be affiliated with someone asking the government (or ALL of US!!) to bail them out because they made gas guzzling shit cars, and charge too much.

Car Talk OFF!

I've spouted, I've drank beer, I've watched Tony B. and now "Merry Christmas Drake and Josh" with B-Man. Now it's time for some food and maybe the watching of some Cross DVDs. BTW I got some blank DVDs today to record some of the downloaded World Cup cross races I have. JOY!

Speaking of Cross- How 'bout the Jonathon Page thang- An accident, a mistake, or has drug induced desperation reared her ugly head? I hope it all works out, but in the world of Pro cycling I trust no one.

Happy Sunday!

Later.

High Speed Cross DVD Reviews

Since there are only about two XC/Solo mountain bike movies in existence, and I own them both, Wifey bought me two Cyclocross DVDs for Christmas. (Thanks Wifey!!)

To me, Cross is the next best thing to mountain bike racing, so Cross movies are the next best things to get my legs moving and a fire in my loins. 24 Solo, Off Road To Athens, and various "other" www. MPEGs work best. ;)

The two DVDs are Pure Sweet Hell and The Nine Ball Diaries. Both rock, but in different ways. Here's some random thoughts on both. And I do mean random. I was jotting notes and drinking beer whilst watching...

First up is Pure Sweet Hell. I knew P.S.H. was gonna rock when I noticed a quote on the cover from one of my all time favorite cycling writers (Mike Ferrentino) and another one on the back from kick ass USA Today writer/Solo MTB racer, Sal Ruibal. The film is shot in Super8, and is a great gimps into the rise of Cross in the U.S.. It's very much a documentary on the sport, but done in cool indie rock sort of way. Here are the random notes and thoughts I jotted as I watched....

The Kelly jerseys rocked and made me want a T6 Masher jersey.

The race footage/music at the end of Chapter 1 is the single greatest part of any cycling video EVER. (PERIOD!!)

Cross racing is truly a bi-polar freak out.

Watching this reminds of that Superchunk DVD that I have.

The soundtrack has a Joy Division meets Modest Mouse indie feel.

The Cross crowds rock.

I want to live in Northern California.

Check out those vintage Pumas and toe clips! Of course they weren't "vintage" then.

JUNGLE CROSS!!

I think I want a Cross bike next fall.

I think I need another beer....

So from all that randomness I guess you MIGHT be able to tell I REALLY liked the film. I've watched it twice now and started it a 3rd time. Each time I see or hear something cool. The movie works on a ton of levels and should be required viewing for anyone who loves riding their bike in the mud and dirt.

2nd up is The Nine Ball Diaries. This film was also really good, but in a different way. The race footage was incredible and the film quality was amazing. I enjoyed it, but not nearly as much as P.S.H.. I wish they would have had a narrator to put the story together rather than Tim Johnson telling it. Johnson is an amazing racer and watching him in the movie is incredible. But a story teller/writer he's not and that's OK, but I kept longing for The 9 Ball Diaries to be Adam Craig, Dave Z.'s diary. For them to be telling the story, or for it to be about no one in particular and just a sweet film about a cool ass sport.

Interviews with Johnson, his wife, teammates etc., were cool and the insight into a PRO's life is always neat to see, but somewhere it fell flat. It still rocked and I recommend if for anyone that digs Cross. If you're borderline on the whole Cross thing, then I would go with Pure Sweet Hell first.

I'm not much on reviewing movies, but I thought I'd share anyway.

Later.

It Sucked. But It Was Great!

Temps in the low 70s here today. SEVENTIES!! Just a few days ago it was SEVEN degrees when I dropped B-Man at day care. WTF?? I'll take it though. That's for f'ing sure!

I opted to take the Mamasita out on the road today and hit some of the shit back roads, etc., etc. In my mind this could have been a 4 hour day. My legs let me know ASAP that I would be LUCKY to get in 2. Then a few minutes later my stomach let me know to not get too geeked up in the form of some nasty ass, rift heavy, stinkin' sucky indigestion!. The egg white omelet with mushrooms I made for breakfast was just NOT staying where it was supposed to.

I thought it best to wear arm warmers and knee warmers. The arm warmers lasted about 10 minute and the knee warmers about 20. My body was JUST not ready for back to back REAL rides. OR 72 degree December weather. This ride was NOT going how I hoped, but I was out, it was sunny and it WAS freaking 70+ degrees! So I sucked it up, realized this would NOT be a killer training ride and futzed around the back roads for 2 hours in attempts to at LEAST burn some calories.

The ride was a struggle. Not sure what the problem was. My legs felt like shit, and the belly was upset. Not sure why. I ate good, didn't drink a drop of beer yesterday, hydrated and slept well. But I still felt like shit. Oh well it was still a little 2 hour adventure on the back roads and shit roads of WPA.

I spied the above "bundle" near the end of my ride. Looks like a f*cking Mob hit!! I'm pretty sure I can see a paw coming out the one end. Why the person felt the need to get all Tony Soprano and wrap the critter up like a "former" Mob informant, I'll never know.

In the end not a great ride or a good ride but it still rocked. So I guess it was great. I JUST felt like shit. Oh well. 4 hours in two days in December is NOT bad at all for this sub par, racer type.

One last bit... I found out today that I will once again be sporting Ergon green in 2009. I do have to say that even if I hadn't got the sponsorship I'd STILL using Ergon grips.

They're like a cult for the hands. I mean I can NOT imagine my mountain bikes without Ergon grips. In '09 I hope to be rolling with the Ergon BD1 Pack too. It should make multi hour trips to the mountain even better! I'm glad the good folks at Ergon thought enough of me to once again include me as an Ergon Athlete. Thanks!!

By the way, I lost a knee warmer out on the roads today. If you see a stretched out nasty ass knee warmer on the back roads, it's probably mine. Oh well, I needed new ones anyway.

I know I'll end up saving this one. Just in case I ever need ONE knee warmer. It could happen! I mean what if I was involved in and industrial work accident and lost a leg?? Then again I'm not sure that tends to happen to graphic artists that sit in a cubical all day. Maybe I'll just throw it out.

Later.

P.S. Not to bring you (or me!) down, but today is the 9th anniversary of my mom's passing. Still miss her. She rocked. Talk about endurance! She could endure baby! And do it with a smile on her face.

Now THIS Is A Christmas Present!!

Not that I'm not stoked with the my new DVDs (Pure Sweet Hell & The Nine Ball Diaries). Not that I don't stand to thoroughly enjoy the new Anthony Bourdain book ("The Nasty Bits") that Wifey got me. Not that I didn't get a variety of other cool things, including the sharing of B-Man's Wii.... But TODAY I got one hell of a Christmas gift from the Ride Gods in the form of a road ride in December WITHOUT freezing to death. I owe them.

I ALMOST, I say ALMOST made a move to ride the trainer. I had taken some garbage out, and was sad that even though it LOOKED nice out, it was damn cold. Of course this was at 8 a.m.. At 10 a.m. I had a different thought and some serious tingling in the chamois area from the prospects of a real ride. So I said f*ck it, I'm kitting up! Cold air or no cold air. I strapped on some tights, gloves and various other types of winter shit in the attempt to stay warm out on the road.

Nothing big planned, just my normal 31 mile road loop. 1 mile into the loop I thought I might be overdressed. 5 miles in to the loop I KNEW I was overdressed!! Luckily I was able to stuff the Craft rain/wind jacket in my jersey pocket and get a bit more comfy. Temps would climb to the 50s with sun and I was dressed for the 30s. The hands were WAY overheated in my garish and logo heavy Hammer winter gloves. But hey, my fingers might have been getting too fat anyway. The gloves helped me sweat out any potential finger bloat that the Holiday brought.

The ride rocked. There were some minor set backs but nothing I couldn't ride through. My chain has quickly become stretched from trainer rides where I use a different rear wheel/cassette. Now things aren't "meshing" so well. I lost a gear or two today from that, but who cares?? I was riding and it was sunny and 50 in Western PA.... THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!

I received a nice "Right On!/Fist Of Power" signal from a dude in an oncoming car. Nice to get a sign of encouragement from someone rather than the usual barrage of horn honks, middle fingers and screams of accused homosexuality. Thanks Mr. Fist of Power Dude. Much appreciate.

The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking that the dude was probably a freak. A freak in a good way. Judging from the rackless sedan he drove he didn't appear to be a cyclist. But I can almost guarantee you he was some sort of freak. In America it's pretty much the freaks that are drawn to our sport or are comfortable enough to at least "get" it. Yeah, I'm sure there are a few dick head types that squeeze through the cracks, but we're trying to weed them out as I type. Long live the freaks!

Real ride fitness is still come and go. I can just tell that I don't have it all going on right now. And that's fine. That's what the off season is for. Now if I feel like this in April... well then I'll have some issues. The weather looks to at least be warm tomorrow. Hopefully the rain that is pissing down right now moves out by the a.m.

I might have to finally wash the Eddy Cap. There was some serious sweaty stank being blown in the face. It was like having a dirty, sweaty fat guys ass in my face for 30 miles. In other words- time to wash the Eddy Cap!!

Time to make some dinner, watch some DVDs and then maybe do some more car research. Wifey and I are thinking about ditching the Soob. It has 95K on it, is not big enough to haul all of us AND my gear to the races, and has been giving off the sweet scent of 2nd burning head gasket. Want to ditch it before it blows. I have it sort of narrowed down to a Mazda 5, a Kia Rondo, or a Scion XB. I guess you can tell I don't care that much about looks with that line up. There are other vehicles I dig more, but are out of our price range. We shall see. I may end up with nothing.

Later.

Merry Christmas!!!

THIS just made my Holiday Season!!....




Later.

Christmas Eve

Except for about 20 minutes early this afternoon, rain pissed down hard all day today. So it was to the Stankment® for 1:20 on the trainer. Today was a good workout made better by finding a spare video cord that allows me to hook up a small portable DVD player we have to a 13" TV I keep in the basement. Sooo I was able to spin, burn 1,000+ calories, and watch a copy of the 2006 Liège-Bastogne-Liège that I "aquired" last year via the Net. Good times. Good times.

So with the spin over, the gifts wrapped, and the food bought. The time nears to start cooking up some food, drinking a few bottles of Christmas cheer, and maybe chilling with a movie or two. I believe Horton Hears a Who beckons. But first to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Pardon me if I don't link up folks or I'll be here all ephing day. These are some of the folks who made 2008 a great year and will make 2009 pretty kick ass too. As well as friends, family, and Commenter's from here on The Chamois.....

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to; WIfey, B-Man, my Dad, Brother, Sis and their family, Wifey's fam, my friends at work, Master Tom, Dave K, Yancey, Jimmy P., Don P., Aaron, Brad, Todd "Pro Bikes" S., Jason "GNAT DAWG" Boucher, T6 Ryan, T6 Brent, Jeff "grip this" Kerkove, Justin, Jesus Jason, Chuck, The Torres family, Fat Marc, Buddy, Ian P., Plum Grove Pete, Bikeman.com, Big Al, Racin' Rick, California Pete, Ashville Allan, Gerry P., Steve-O, Speedgoat Bill, Dan, Travis & Ms. Pink, Rich B., Metro, Bob A., etc., etc., etc., I could go on and on. But I shan't. I'll just say to all the folks I forgot, missed, etc., Thanks for reading in 2008 I hope I provided you with more than just a digital peep show of mountain bike narcissism and you will continue to read and enjoy in 2009. Cheers!!

Later.

Non Holiday Oriented Post #1

Later

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas

The family schedule is all sort of jacked up this Christmas Eve. My family celebrated Sunday due to work schedules, and Wifey's normal Christmas Eve gig is cancelled due to illnesses, so we find ourselves in the unique situation of NO plans on Christmas Eve.

So I pulled up by britches and braved the Giant Eagle to get some grub. I want to cook up something semi traditional, yet UNtraditional for Christmas Eve. I'm going with some thick ass pork chops that will first take a swim in a Mesquite Grill Marinade, along with some fresh Yams, fresh multi grain bread, maybe some mushroom/brown rice and some veggies. All washed down with some Dogfish Head Indian Brown. I think the flavors should meld quite nicely. There will be no dessert. HA! Kidding, I bought a big ass pineapple, so maybe we'll hunk that up? Get all Don Ho on your Christmas Eve asses!

I'm trying to get my dad to make the oh so long (35 minute) drive to our place to enjoy it with us, but I'm not too confident that he will. Why do older folks become so curmudgeonly? Shit on top of that he's MY dad.. so you KNOW he's curmudgeonly!!

Ditched tonight's workout in favor of shopping and beer. Plan on getting a couple hours in tomorrow A.M. (I hope!). Still have a bunch of feeecus to do tonight... I still need to wrap Wifey's gifts, make dinner and enjoy a beer or two. After B-Man goes to bed Wifey and I are going to watch Step Brothers.

Later.

Did I mention I don't have to work again until January 2nd??
F*cking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!

Seven Degrees, 7.2% and Snickers

It was seven degrees this morning when I dropped B-Man at Day Care. Freaking SEVEN! I spent most of the morning shivering at my very unprivate "wall way" non cubical desk. I think the freaking AC was on!! The part of the office I work in now has some seriously big boned folks in it. I don't think they noticed. It wasn't until lunch when I heated up some hot soup and a couple cups of insta-choco-java that I finally stopped shivering, and my nipples stopped being fully erect.

I got the straight poop on that potential vacation day debacle that came down from some tie wearing goofs last week. Looks like I don't have anything to worry about, since the tie wearing non-goof that call the shots in my division says that he cares very little how I divide my 4 weeks up. So, potential race scheduling conflicts have been averted.

Another work day bonus was getting a case of Dogfish Head Indian Brown (AKA- Best Beer In The World) from the reps I work for. Thanks chickies! The road into my heart is indeed paved with empty bottles of fine 7.2% ABV craft brewed beverages. Then a dude in the office gave me a box of whole wheat pasta for doing a couple "emergency" scans for him last week. Beer and whole wheat pasta? It's like they're begging me to destroy the bathroom. I WILL do it too. My colon is like a loaded weapon!

Once home I was greeted with a litle "thank you" care package from my man Metro. It was a thank you for pointing him in the general direction of some fine folks up in Maine. Metro hooked me up with a stash of Snickers Charged Bars. A SWEET hook up since I can't seem to find the bars up here anymore. Thanks Metro! Funny, I never thought I would say "Metro sent me a stash" and be talking about Snickers bars!! HA!

Once on the trainer I put thoughts of seven degrees, -22 wind chills, craft brews, and Snickers out of my mind as I go a nice sweat on and threw down a nice workout on the trainer. One workout closer to 2009 Race Shape! FOCUS MAHOKEY! FOCUS!!

7.5 hours of crap-ola left in 2008 for me. Then I can turn my attention to spending time with Wifey, B-Man, those yet to be chilled Indian Browns and a Holiday with friends and family.

Later.

Identity Theft

I think I realized this weekend why this time of year gets me in such a mind funk. Sure it COULD be the darkness, the cold, the snow, and fake the holiday cheer. It COULD be. But I think the main reason I get in a funk this time of year is due to a loss of identity.

During the spring, summer and fall- a day, a week, a month is made up of when I'm riding, where I'm riding, when I'm racing, where I'm racing, how I performed, etc., At work friends are constantly asking me about my riding and racing, I have REAL stuff to write and talk about. I feel like I'm somebody beyond a 37 year old, semi OK husband, borderline good father and sub par graphic artist. Sure I'm a mid pack at best endurance racer but it still feels ggggoood. Maye it's egoistical, maybe it's just a need for mental masturbation. Who kows?

The winter is time on the trainer, watching my diet and trying to get more than 5 hours of training in a week. I feel like a different person. A person I can NOT connect with. I waffle in between feeling like a "bike racer" and a dude just trying to shed a few pounds. Nothing against Mr. Attempted Pound Shedder, it's just that racing is so much MORE than that. It's a reason to ride, it's seeing friends, new places, and new trails. It's pushing myself beyond comfort and telling the tale.

Pushing myself during a trainer session or a winter ride is just NOT the same. In fact just talking about it can have one on the cusp of super lameness. I mean we're ALL trying to staying in shape, and get or improve fitness. That can hardly give one an identity. My riding and racing helps me to achieve an identity that is just NOT possible during the winter. I feel like the Soiled Chamois is lame. Like no matter what I do, it's just not really worth writing about.

So if now and again a day goes by that I don't post, don't think I've FINALLY mentally cracked or that the "clot" finally took me down. It's just as much as everyday life makes up and contributes to how we race, ride and perform. It's just NOT that interesting. Beyond a voyeuristic perv like Racin' Rick, I don't know who reads this. That doesn't stop me from writing, that's for sure. Actually this whole post was just me trying to work in calling Rick a "voyeuristic perv". ;) Kidding Rick.

So what is the real purpose of this post? Not sure. I guess it's just a heads up that I'm changing some stuff up on a personal level. Trying to lose some weight and get focused on 2009. This will be a little mentally draining over the next few weeks. Don't think me a dick or a jack off. I have narrowed my schedule down for 2009 and I'm fucking stoked for it!! 90% endurance racing with a few XC races thrown in. Right now it looks like one 13 hour solo, two 12 hours solos and a couple of hundies. Then work in some XC and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE one 24 Hour Solo if I can get rid of the blood clot and off of the blood thinners. Thanks for letting me get this out there. Stick with me kids. 2009 is gonna be fun!

______________________________________________________________________

The weekend was freaking good even with only ONE hour of riding. Went to Wifey's Holiday party up in the land of too tan soccer mom MILFS- Cranberry Twp. We stayed the night at the Sheraton, had an incredible meal, some good beer and a blissful kid free, get-a-way weekend. My God are the Sheraton pillows blissful!! Big thanks to my dad for watching B-Man. I won't go into too many more details other than it was fun with a capital "Do Not Disturb Sign" ;)

Today my family celebrated Christmas. My bro is working over Christmas so we threw down some good eats and exchanged presents today. My sis cooked up a killer ham, and other viddles and the kids were off the hook excited about getting early Christmas presents. It was good to see my bro (who I hadn't seen since early November) and my nephew Chris. Chris had this to say out his co-worker Gerry.. "dude eats A LOT!" Now we all know Gerry's secret. So eat up this Holiday season and race like Gerry P.! HA!

Time for a beer and some food.

Later.

The Squeeze Is On (Natural Like)

Need to try to squeeze some sort of ride in this a.m.. Today is jammed with driving, babysitters, more driving, Wifey's work party, and more Holiday madness. A real ride is out. Too much time getting ready, driving to/fro, clean up etc., So as soon as I'm done eating some toast/typing this, it's off to the Stankment®. The only real goal will to burn off the calories from the 3 beers I had last night. Since two of them were Imperial Stouts, that's a bit easier said than done.

Have I mentioned my new love?

Natural Peanut Butter!
With all the shit in regular peanut butter, I can't believe I EVER ate it!

My toast and coffee is now gone. Time to get a chamois on before I'm out of time.

Later.

EDIT- Mission accomplished on the trainer.

Nope. No Room.

Sick today (cough cough) but well enough to go to B-Man Christmas Pageant at his Day Care. He was an Inn Keeper and rocked holding the sign that said "No Room". Then we all went to Wendy's for suck food and feelings of being used like a corporate whore. First part rocked. 2nd part- not so much. Why does ALL fast food taste like it's been soaked in grease. OOPS.. because it f*cking has!!

I almost went for a run tonight, but opted to drink beer instead. I was too jacked off at my place of work. I checked my work e mail to see that they changed our vacation policy for 2009. I will still get 4 weeks, but 3 of those weeks will have to be taken as WHOLE weeks. I mean REALLY, does that make sense?? I want to take Friday off to go to a race, so I'll need to take the whole week off? What the fuck? Ah fuck it, I could fucking care less. Notice how I turned the editor off. Who fucking cares?? OK, I'm done. They can fuck me. (note- I have had a few beers, note- I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!)

Tomorrow is the Pro Bikes Holiday Party. I will be missing it due to Wifey's work Holiday Party, but it sounds like fun. Word has it that Mr. Todd will be spinning some serious hair band tunes, 'cause that's the way he rolls. I will be enjoying a .gov Holiday party. Word has it there's going to be a serious opinion throw down about Disability Benefits. I'll be at the bar, with my head on the bar (enter one Moz quote). Did I mention 7th row? No? Yep 7th row. The Boz side.

Might squeeze a spin in before we drop B. at my Dad's, but I got a lot of shit to do. I mean we ARE spending the night at the Sheraton, so I'll need to get the "naughty box" gear all ready to go. Diaper?- check, Whip?-check, 31 Flavors of Chamois?-Check. Leather mask?-check. OK, I'm good to go... KKKKKKIDING!!

Will it ever stop raining? Will my house heal thyself of leaks? Will I be hungover in the a.m.? Will I get any tonight? THESE are the important questions of the day.

Later.

Shooting At Moons

Set the bar low, but shoot for the moon.

Not content to wallow in mid pack mediocrity, and seeking UPPER mid pack mediocrity, I headed to the Stankment® after work tonight and turned shit up a notch. I don't really like talking about winter "training" because mine is pretty lame. So I won't go too into it, but I REALLY believe I was THIS (cue finger pinch visual) close to complete stroke out tonight via one minute intervals.

It was one of the hardest workouts I've done this winter and felt damn good. When it was OVER! At times I had my HR up to 90% of max which is damn high for me on the trainer. I can hear many folks asking- "hey goofball, isn't it too early in the season to be doing intervals?" To you I say- "NOPE, not for me". See, by the time many folks are getting 'round to busting intervals I want to be in a build phase that has me riding more tempo and race pace rides and working on nutrition. That would mean working on NOT throwing up on my top tube and bonking during long rides. Since winter doesn't allow me to put in the long ass base miles like some folks, I have to do it when the days start to get longer and warmer. Then in the summer I'll try to use XC for Stroke Outs in between enduros and recovery. If you think I came up with this shit on my own you're wrong. One of the smartest endurance chickies out there helped me out on this one.

I realized tonight that THE BEST bands for Stroke Out Intervals is Daft Punk. Especially "Alive 2007". It also made me think that I never gave the answer to a trivia question I posed a few weeks ago concerning a riff in the song "Chick Lit" by We Are Scientists. No one answered. Not even Mr. Kiss Of The Hops. I believe the riff to be lifted (intentional or not) from the song "Robot Rock" by Daft Punk. What do I win? A whole lotta smugness and the knowledge that I am not only a bike geek, but a music geek too. Now lets talk D&D!

Took advantage of the iTunes pre sale today and scored my Moz tickets. 7th row on the left. I also, through a too quick mouse finger and some dimwittedness, ordered a 2nd set. So one pair is going on eBay if my buddy doesn't want them. Or if any of you all want them they're yours for face value. Just drop me a note. Now I just have to hope that he doesn't cancel... AGAIN! If he does I swear I might go a WHOLE day of not listening to him.

Recently I've been not only enjoying my usual helpings of Smith/Morrissey, I've also been enjoying a bunch of other Manc bands including some Oasis boots and the Courteeners (my new fave band). So in their honor (and to piss my friend and Liverpool supporter "UKraig" off, I have some new threads to wear...

No worries Craig. You know I dig your Reds too.

Thursday night crime wave?? Eeegads!!

Later

Snotcycle, The Snake or The Couch?

I was going to do a light spin and then go for run tonight. But then I realized that if I did, that that would be 5 straight days in a row of saddle/training time. I can NOT have that. I have a "mediocre at best" reputation to live up to and too much training could really f*ck that up. So I aborted, did some other blog duties and took B-Man to get a hair cut. Dude had the worst barber-chick EVER! I think I could have cut it better. I think it turned out OK, but we won't be going back there again.

Made up some White Trash Mexican again tonight (3rd WTM meal in the past 4 days!). Refried Bean Burritos. God bless the refried bean. They look like a combination of dog shit and dog food, but make a damn fine burrito! Fiber out the yin-yang too. Speaking of high fiber and it's end result- someone overflowed a toilet at work today. Nice! Funny thing is, my brother wasn't within 10 miles of the place (he's a clogger). Just seeing the damp hallway made me giggle thinking of the times he wrecked our bathrooms back home, sending my dad into fits of obscenity filled rage. Good times... good times.

Plum Grove Pete got me all fired up with race talk today. Rob (he of Plum Grove, he of Bakers Dozen promotership) is looking to put on an XC race at the end of January. The 1st Annual Snotcycle Mountain Bike Race. It would be nice to get out a throw down in January and get some riding in on the BK-DOZ course. There's some info and smack being talked over on the MORE forums. Not 100% I'm a go for the race, but the idea of it is getting me a bit tingly in the nether regions.

Another is also the Snake Creek Gap Time Trial Series coming up in Northern Georgia. The January race is out for me, but the February race might be doable. I know Tim C. from Pro Bikes has done it before and is pretty stoked to return. If a Pro Bikes contingent goes down, I could be swayed to one of the time trials. 34 miles in the Georgia Mountains in February sounds pretty good to me! (again with the tingly nether regions).

Or should I just just say "f*ck it", and become a full time couch potato? Nah! Even if I didn't race, having something to "train for" is such a motivator. I get cranky when I DON'T exercise! It's been so long (about 17 years) since I was a slob that I really don't remember how I occupied my time. I guess I did do more art back then, and eating took up a LOT of time, but it still freaks me out to think about what folks who aren't training for something do. I guess they have real jobs or something.

Even when I didn't race, I used trips out west to Colorado as a motivator. Did I really want to drive two days and NOT be able to ride my face off in the mountains?? I think not! An event or trip to train for rocks for motivation. A goal BEYOND "I want to be thin" or "I want to wear a smaller size". I find FITNESS a much better motivator than vanity. Making a healthy lifestyle choice, building fitness, and DOING something is where it's at. Weight loss can be and is a nice benefit of training, but I'd be happier to bettering my time in a hundie or placing higher in a Solo. Don't get me wrong I WANT to be 10 pounds lighter by April, but if I'm not, knowing that I'm stronger on the bike will be make up for it!

Not sure where this slob rant came from? Sorry, but it just sort of spewed out my mouth like verbal vomit. I'll simplify it. Just ride your bike and have fun. Done.

Later.

No Words & The Coming Holiday (rant)

I was not surprised to sit down at my Mac this morning to see an e mail from Wifey that said "what happened to the blog?" Meaning why didn't I post last night? I needed to correct her and say well, I WAS making posts just not on The Soiled Chamois. I had some team posting to take care of. Trying to get the team Bio page together. So far it's just me and Don P. I hope to get more posted in the near future. Ahem.. AHEM!!!

I also didn't have much to say. Indoor workouts are not the greatest topic for sub par Blog writing. This time of year drags like the back of a 3,000 pound ape's hand on the cold, slushy, mushy, muddy Western PA ground. In other words it sucks. Not too much to look forward to for a while either. There will be rides of course, but most all of them will be in the name of sanity and gaining or maintaining fitness.

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year...

I'm really hoping for improved weather over my Christmas vacation. Other than Santa coming to visit B-Man and some fine seasonal craft brews, the possibility of a few rides is one of the only things that I look forward to about the coming Holiday Season. I envy folks that dig the Season. More power to ya! But I can be a Scrooge, a Grinch, a Meisterburger Burgermeister, a Professor Hinkle, a Heat Miser, etc., OK, I can pretty much be a dick when it comes to the Holidays. But hey, only 16 more days and it'll be over!

Example of Dickness?... Has anyone else been getting the sarcastic "have a great day" from the Salvation Army bell ringers when you walk by without giving?? Sorry man, I just don't carry cash. No need to get all sarcastic on my ass. I finally gave last week. I put the cash in and NOTHING!! No "thank you" at all. Not that I need a thank you, but it kills me that he was able to blurt out "have a great day" in that shitty way without a problem, but "thank you" couldn't make it out. Later that week I tried again with a different Bell Ringer. I got what I THINK was a "thank you" but I'm not sure! The dude was eating a big ass freaking sandwich and muttered something, but it just sounded like "ugghh ahhh" as lettuce and scraps of capicola fell from his chin. I'm kidding, it's of course not about "thank yous". It's about GIVING. Good thing too, because I GAVE them a bunch of Canadian coins I couldn't get rid of! I'M KIDDING! EEESH!!! EVERYONE RELAX!!

Gotz to go down to Mercy tomorrow to get more blood tests about the blood clot. I had a similar test done about a month ago by a different lab. But the test results could have been skewed by the Warfarin. So I had to go off of it for two weeks and just do the Lovenox injections. Tomorrow I can get the test done and FINALLY be done with the injections FOR GOOD! Just Warfarin now and if the blood tests come back normal it will just be until the clot is out of my leg. I'm not getting my hopes up though. There isn't TOO much "normal" about me! ;)

Later.

A.M. EDIT: Ian I swear in the New Year not to be hattin' so much! :)

Good Times. Too Good?

I might have the immature mind of a teenager, but I sure as hell do NOT have the resilience of one anymore. Yikes! Wifey and I had a late night last night celebrating at a friend's wedding. We took full advantage of B-Man staying with Papa-O'. We stayed out late, drank Bad (to me) wedding beer, got goofy and I perfected a new dance move! "The At-At". It's sort of like the "robot" except you make your arms go like an At-At Walker from The Empire Strikes Back. Wifey then gets all "Luke" on me by pretending to laso my legs. I then "break it down" like an At-At to the Hoth snow. All the kids will be doing it soon. Just remember you read about it here first!

My colon was just WRECKED this a.m. from Negra Modelo. Not a fan of the beer, but it was the best of the lot offered. It wasn't so much the drinking that did me in, since I really didn't do anything too over the top, just LATE. Damn I don't think I was in bed until after 2 a.m. Woke up 5 hours later and felt like I got hit by a truck. I was filled with regret, but not TOO much. I can count on one hand how many times Wifey and I stayed out late like that over the past two years or so. And we did have fun. So that's that.

I did have some regret when I checked my e mail this morning and saw that B-Rad was wanting to hook up for a ride. I had to pass. I wanted to ride, but I could NOT commit to a time or length with the way I felt early this a.m.. Luckily after some lounging about and food I slowly started to feel a LITTLE bit more myself again. I FINALLY got my shit together for a ride about 1:30 or so.

I knew I didn't have 3 or 4 hours in me, but I needed to get out. With temps in the high 40s, the snow was melting and the roads would be clear of most of the slippy stuff. I went with a loop that would hook some of my regular road loop with some Western PA Shit Farm Roads. Roads that you pretty much only want to ride a mountain or cross bike on. I went with the Mamasita 'cause she's my crap road be-otch. The main roads were clear, the Farm Roads had a good amount of slush and mud on them.

The legs felt surprisingly good, and I was SO glad I forced myself out to ride. The Mamasita has been feeling real nice in this application. The new Race Face CF post is really working with the CF seat stays to dampen the chatter.

I spent a lot of time doing seating climbing. Not "spinning" up the climb, but steady force to the pedals, working on good form and force. Not sure how good my form was, but my legs were screaming enough to make me think I had the "force" part down.

A few of the roads got pretty messy. I looked like I did a trail ride, not a road ride. It was fun and nice compromise between a road ride and a mountain bike ride. Part of me wished that I would not have stayed out so late and put in a long ride today. But in the end, I said "f*ck it". I still rolled 2:10, burned off some beer calories (I hope) and had some fun.

I appear to have something the size of a
hair covered VW Bug in my nostril. Jeeezus!

Nice to be off the trainer and outside. Later.

Because I'm a 37 Year Old Teenager

The lure of quality beers in my fridge was too much. Friday night spin aborted. 3 Beers drank, Mexican food cooked. This morning brought a kick ass session on the trainer and me now getting ready to get my wedding funk on with Wifey and some friends. I will of course be fantasising about riding and "fighting crime" during the ceremony. My mind tends to wander off a bit. Adult ADD? ;)

I'll will also be thinking about this little bit of news...

I will of course buy tickets, Moz will of course cancel (he always does). I am of course am pretty geeked. Because I am a 37 year old with a 17 year old's angst ridden brain. Who apparently has a freakish heterosexual artistic man crush on a 50 year old English odd ball who sings about Girlfriends In Comas and Life Being a Pigsty. HA!

Time to put on some dress pants and a tie. For the first time in almost exactly a year. Hope the shit still fits! It should. It better!

Later.

Backtracking On The Magazine Topic

A few years ago I wrote a Rider Opinion Of The Month over on TwinSix.com. (the first I might add, HA!) I won't won't bore you with the whole story, if you want to read it, click the link. But the gist of it was that I was pretty much done with cycling magazines. That the dawn of the Blog, bike Forums and message boards had pretty much squashed my desire to buy a bike mag. For the most part, I still think that.

Why "for the most part"? Well for one, I'm a print guy. I do print graphics for a living. I like art, quality graphic design and graphics. I won't dare say I PRODUCE such things, but I do enjoy looking at them. I also enjoy reading and the pleasure that comes from lounging on the couch or front porch thumbing through a magazine. Flipping pages, re-reading, etc., Yeah sure, I know you can take your lap top out if you want to be all geek ass about it, but it's just not the same.

Over the past year I've started to see some magz that I REALLY want to check out. Keep in mind I've YET to actually BUY one of these magazines. But they are on my radar.

Rouleur: (Road). Class like I've never seen before.

Embrocation Magazine: (Cross/Road). Diggin' the vibe.

Cyclocross Magazine- (duh!) Really starting to dig the vibe but scared to look like a poser buying it.

I've saved my fave for last... Mountain Flyer- THIS MAG IS THE F*CKING BALLZ!!
I just saw this one at the book store the other day. I WANTED to buy it. But didn't. I'm not completely sure why not. I think because it's sorta Rocky Mountain specific. I passed on it not because I don't live in the Rockies, but because I HAVE been there 5 times. Just seeing and reading about the trails made me miss it and sorta weepy. Mountain Flyer is as close as I've come to seeing the perfect mountain bike mag in a good long while. Great pics, good info, reviews and lots of race coverage. The mag is mountain bike heavy with a BIG dollop of Cross and a little shot of Road.

One of my dreams, that has been seemingly smashed by the dawn of the Internet, lack of money and no experience, is to work for/produce a bike mag. In a perfect world I would blend Mountain Flyer with CX Magazine, BIKE, Embrocation and Rouleur . I would ditch most of the road content (no offense) and just focus on Mountain and Cross. I would have an online version as well that would be a blend of CyclingNews.com, Pez, Belgium Knee Warmers (except MOUNTAIN BIKE ONLY) and The Soiled Chamois (kidding about the last!). It would be the PERFECT mountain mag. I'm all hot and bothered just thinking of what that would be like. I need a cold shower!

Anyway it's Friday, there's no one reading my dross. Have a great weekend. I see many beers and few mile in my immediate future. OH well, I'm a mid packer for a reason! ;)

If I'm gonna make this happen I better go play Power Ball.

Later.

Drip, Drip, Dribble, Drip

Never ending rain drops, ceiling leak drips, faucet drips, leaking bath tubs, water in my basement. What is with allllllll the ffffffffffff*cking wwwwwwater in my life??? I need like a live in plumber or something. Oh well, it just water....and a little bit of plaster...

I had a 1:20 spin planned tonight but I was just toast mentally and physically when I came home from work. Wifey was going to take B-Man to the gym with her, but I told her not to bother. I couldn't guarantee that I would have any mojo to complete the workout and B-Man was pretty geeked to see me. So the spin was aborted and time with the B-Man had.

When in doubt talk about food-

Tonight I needed comfort food. I needed pasta. To me pasta is the ultimate comfort food. So I did up some whole wheat penne with stir fry chicken and vegetables. Little bit of e.v.o.o., salt, pepper, red pepper, and a handful of grated mozzarella cheese. Comfort found. It was much more comforting than my lunch. Not that I didn't like my lunch, but it was hardly "comfort food". It was however a cup of vanilla yogurt topped with 2 tablespoons of ground flax seed and a handful of walnuts for dessert. Clean Eating-tastic.

Other than work and eating I've just been juggling my week's ride schedule. Wifey and I have a wedding to go to this Saturday. So my long ride day is being moved to Sunday and my Friday rest day may become a spin or a run. Or I might chuck it all and drink a six pack. Kidddding. Eesh.

Cross Nationals this weekend. Good luck to the locals heading out to KC to race. For look at last years race and to get a preview of the new Cross movie ZERO Traction CLICK HERE.


There's some ride info up on the Pro Bikes blog. Todd and/or Jake will be leading some rides in Frick. I'm not a fan of Frick. Mostly because I don't know the trails that well, but for folks not familiar, Frick Park is a park in the city of Pittsburgh that has a pretty sweet network of trails in it. Not to mention legal night riding. Willy Boyce EVER have legal night riding?? WTF??

There are lots of steep ups and downs. My face ate more than it's share of frick dirt back when we lived in Regent Square. Maybe THAT'S why I'm not a fan of Frick? It was also the first place I ever used clipless pedals. That was back in about '94 or '95. I almost killed a dog when it started sniffing around me, I couldn't un-clipp and nearly fell on said dog. The pooch almost got Jase-a-lanched. The owners were not thrilled. Nor was I.

Annnyway check out the blog if you're a local and want more info. Should be a fast pace with me hanging off the back vomiting blood the Thursdays I make it. HA!

I gotta check my bucket of water in the kitchen. Frig.

Later.

Combo Wednesday

Once a week I've been trying to do a workout that mixes in some cross training with some light spinning. It helps to break up the monotony of indoor training. I had been doing some body weight workouts, and they rocked. But there is a LOT of leg exercises (squats, lunges, etc.). I'd rather work on leg strength via the bike and Mr. Big "nut dropper" Ring.

I still do some of the upper body and core exercises, just not as an "organized" work out. Nothing like doing "Plank" on the floor while water boils! Anyway, tonight I did a quick 30 minutes on the trainer, got a nice sweat on, and then laced up the sneakers for ANOTHER run. Yikes!

I'm still digging the running thing. As I mentioned last week, I've been sticking to a 2 or 3 block loop around my neighborhood. Just in case my legs do blow out, I can crawl home. I've been slowly working my way up in laps. 2, 3 and today FOUR! Each week as my legs get more and more used to the impact, and I have fewer issues. It's really been cool.

One of the many great things about being in reasonable shape is that when I decided I wanted to start doing some running (actually it's more of a jog/scamper/skip/lumber) I didn't have to worry at all about cardio fitness. I just had to avoid an injury from doing something so new to my boday that involves lots of impact.

B-Man joined me to watch and chat for a few minutes at the star of my spin. I have to say I'm starting to dig those couple minutes or so he hangs out to chat. Then it was upstairs to put on some gear, some shoes, and head out into the misting rain and chilly temps for another almost 20 minutes.

Tonight, the rain, crisp air, houses lit up with Christmas decorations, and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement made for a pretty cool and "Zen like" 17 minutes. I find it easier to zone out and think/meditate during a run than I do (or SHOULD do) on my bike. Combined with the zone out-ness of the trainer, I had a real nice Mental Rub & Tug™ tonight.

Don't get me wrong, I am by NO means ready for lengthy multi-mile runs but I WOULD be pretty happy to work up to 30 or 40 minutes of running to give me another option for weekday workouts. Especially when my brain has no mojo to climb on board the trainer. I've said it before, I'll say it again (along with other folks like Eddie O' and Travis) It amazes me that we can ride 100+ miles on a bike, but trying to RUN even 30 minutes can be a bitch!

Time to tape my nipples, and get some Hooters, junk exposing "shhh-shhh" shorts. (or not)

Later.

Stank Isn't All Bad

It seems that for all my blathering about not wanting to ride the trainer this fall and winter I sure as hell am. I'm not complaining though. I've been forcing myself to layer up and endure the cold and/or wet on the weekends and one or two of those a week is just fine by me. If the trails were in primo condition and ripe for some night assaults, I'm sure I would. But right now the ease of getting a quick 1 or 1:20 workout in is OK with me.

The post work trainer ride has entered my weekday routing for now. I'm trying to start each session with a clear purpose. Intervals? Leg Strength? Tempo? Mixing it up, not pissing around. Pissing around and not having a plan is a good way for me to get bored fast. Of course having some good music on iPodious is always key. This week it's been some live Oasis boots. Stankment Bonus! I get a SHIT load of the family's laundry done.

The highlight of my ride tonight was early on when B-Man came downstairs to "check on me". At one point he pulled up a stool about 2 feet away from me and just and watched for a bit. Then he started asking me questions and making comments like...

Why don't you ever fall off?
You're really gonna sweat huh?
Why do you like to do this?
How long do you have to ride?
Look a hammer!
That wheel moves fast!
Do you like to do this!
Is that Mommies bike seat on the floor?
Look I'm building stuff (smashing hammer again cement)
Is that Mommies bike with the flat tires?
I'm not gonna touch the wheel, don't worry.
etc., etc.,

Of course, that all came in the span of about 2 minutes. Then he had to head off to swim class, but not before we made plans to play with Spider Man guys when he got home. When he came home he was pretty sacked. So there was no Spider Man. Just some sleep. I enjoyed his visit and he's welcome to sit and watch anytime he wants.

Why do I have the feeling that I need to get Wifey's bike tuned up?

Later.

The Keymaster Workout

I started in my new digz/location at work today. I'm not thrilled with the set up and location of my non-cubical, non private, odd location desk and work station, but it could be a hell of a lot worse! Many folks blew the set up way out of proportion, and got folks all fired up (including me!). You would think after 16 years of work place gossip and bitcing I'd know truth from fiction.

I'm not gonna get too comfy where I am by any means. Apparently little old ME and my works station location was a pawn in a three or four way managerial pissing contest that seems to still be going on. Suits! I just don't get 'em. I'm also not gonna let anyone know that I don't think my area is really all that bad. Or they will surely feel that their mission to f*ck me has been left incomplete and I will surely be moved somewhere worse!

I'm also not going to get too comfy because I DO need to move on. The newspaper industry is dying and I need to get some experience in other design areas. I really need to look into either taking a class or teaching myself more web based graphics applications. I don't want to learn code or serious HTML, but getting familiar with some of the other Adobe web based application couldn't hurt and could only help my rusty design skills. OR I might just do something completely NON design oriented. If I can find a job I dig for people I ACTUALLY dig then maybe the next 45 years of work won't be so bad!

I really apologize for blathering about my work recently not to mention my plethora of health issues. But as much as I like to separate riding, racing and training from real life. Real life can play a part in just how all that plays out. There's a great post over on Belgium Knee Warmers about when "real life" sticks it's shit covered nose into our cycling lives. I recommend checking it out.

Work, life stress, and weather, especially at this supposed "joyful" time of the year, can throw training a real c*ck block. Immune systems get wrecked, illnesses can set in, and what was supposed to be "fun" can begin to feel like work. Watch it folks. Better to error on the side of fewer quality training hours, rather than a ton of "shit training". At least that's my 2¢ . Which at today's inflation, current APRs, and my lack of talent is worth roughly NEGATIVE .27¢.

I was forced to the trainer for a short, but hard session tonight. A set of twenty 30 Second Intervals with one minute recoveries between each. They hurt and I pack a lot of pain into 45 minutes. Every time I do a quick, but painful workout like today's, I think of a line from the movie Ghost Busters. It was said by the character Louis Tully (played by Rick Morainis).

Tully is talking to the character "Dana Barrett" about a workout he did and says- "I taped a 20 Minute Workout and played it back at high speed so it only took ten minutes and I got a really good workout." That's what I call doing intervals with the Keymaster!

The big problem I've been having on the trainer this year is getting my hear rate high enough. I have to go REALLY ballz out to get my heart rate to where it is during even a moderate ride outside. I've tried different tensions, gears, etc., Not sure how to get it up to mimic real ride conditions. Or if there's a rough margin of error in On The Trainer Heart Rates and Real Ride Heart Rates? Any info folks? Time to hit Google.

Lots of eBayed goods to send out tomorrow. Trek sold, wheels sold, now I just have to send them out. Finding a box to fit a 29er wheel set was a pain in the friggin' ass! I had to build a ghetto wheel box from an old frame box. It's NOT pretty, but should get them there safe.

Later.