Putting The Fun In Un-Fun

Prior to today my week's time in the saddle was at a tiny, sad, pathetic three hours. But bitch not my pointy-nosed talentless friend (that's me talking to myself), because that was with publishing an 86 page M.F.O.A.E.M. (mother f*cker of an endurance magazine), flying solo with Wifey in B'More all week on bithnizz, and B-Man sick. Annnyway today I was itching in the nuggets to get out on the bike. Road be damned, Friday rains be damn, hunters be damned I was going up to do a loop on the mountain.

The weather.com radar showed no precip, the temps weren't bad and the sky looked OK down here. So I bibbed up and got my shit together for ride. I was giddy with excitement. That "giddiness" would fade fast when half way down the turnpike things started looking a tad darker, and tad moister, and eventually a tad rainy-er. I guess the weather.com radar was full of shit, because I was driving through rain, watching the temps drop into the high forties and realizing that the Zip-Loc baggy for my camera was the most water repellent item in my car. Shhhhheeeeeit.

But Lemmy was on the hi-fi and he would not let me think about turning around. That and I was pretty much stuck on the turnpike until my exit anyway, so onward I went...

I pulled the xB into an empty lot (seen above) and proceeded to get the rest of my kit on and the Mamasita ready in the misty and chilly temps. My "headlights" were on and I was hurrying as fast as I could to get on the bike and start pedaling. Whilst I had no rain gear of any sort, I DID have my arm and leg warmers- Thank God!

After getting all Famed up with my leg warmers I was off. The roller up Fire Tower felt good, my legs were spankier than a 13 year old with a stack full of nudy books and I figured it wouldn't be THAT bad, I'd warm up, and make the best of it. I mean after all I hadn't been on the bike in days and I was axious to see how much muddy, dirty, gritty, cold ass mountain water I could have my soaked chamois shoot up my ass enema style and most likely lay hundreds of pin worm eggs in my poop shoot.

Fire Tower was fine. It was going down Cherry that soaked me and froze me PDQ. Frig. This ride was NOT going as planned, but given my current local on the mountain, I figured I would just plow on.

I avoided some dirt and stuck mostly to some forest roads, but the wide Red Oak snow mobile trail demanded I ride it, or I would have have to live at the Beltz Road intersection until it dried. Oh well. Here we go...

Luckily trails like Red Oak are armored pretty good given that they are more grassy service road/snow mobile trail than mountain bike single track. So there was little mud, but plenty of cold water laying about anxious to find the inner regions of my anus.

After Red Oak, I was gonna take Lookout, but there was a lot of standing water on the singl track, so I figured I would be a self imposed Trail Nazi and stay off of it. So I took the forest road to the top. Once to the top I could NOT say know to riding the slicker than a fat man's thigh sweat roots of Lookout back down to the parking lot rather than the road.

I took some pics of the mass amounts of thick spider webbed roots that make up much of the upper part of Lookout, but they turned out like shit. Drat! But they were a blast to ride and the Mamasita and her Ignitors stuck like glue as I hurled her wheels over the wet and muddy roots. I love the feeling of cleaning a section like that. Everything working as one, the shock, body, legs, etc., etc., it's just the best. You know what I'm talking about!! I know you do!

I wish I could say that I kept riding and put in a 35 mile loop like I planned, but this ride needed to be aborted. I was soaked, cold, and getting wetter with every trail. Damn!!!!! The ride was hardly worth the drive, but I did have some fun, took some pics, and spent some time on the mountain. My goal for the coming weeks is to seek out some better wet weather/cold weather gear and make sure I always have it in the car. Pro Bikes is and Endura dealer so there is always a ton of high zoot water proof/repellent shit laying around. Me thinks I'll pay the Little Ball of Hate a visit next week!

As I thought it would be, on the way home the sky started to clear, and as type the sun is full on out here in the W.O. Friggin' frig of friggin' frig!!

Later.