NewChamois

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Chemistry

This seriously is the lamest excuse for a bike blog ever. Hell now I'm not even TALKING about bikes, just me. Maybe that's a good thing? Now I can just be an "out" narcissist, and can set aside the ruse of bike racing.

I'm no stranger to modern chemistry and the various pharmaceuticals that it provides (good and bad), but damn, I've been shoving more types of pain relievers/antibiotics in my body than any (INSERT GIANT AIR QUOTES!!) "healthy" person should. F*cking teeth man. I will never take them for granted. Now go brush!

Things do seem to be improving slightly. I've been able to stick to OTC pain killers since 5 a.m today, and my mouth continues to lack the barrel of a 357, so things aren't TOO bad. Plus I've learned some new ways to enjoy food. Like this soon to be at a Sonic (home to White Trash favorites like Tater Tots) breakfast fave....


Microwave one potato for 5 to 6 minutes.
Scramble 1 egg and set aside.
Remove skin of said microwaved potato.
Add egg, salt, pepper, a teaspoon or so of Smart Balance butter
1 piece of fat free cheese and a dash of skim milk.
Mix, mash and scramble together until melted and looking like tasty baby vomit. Mmmmmm carbs, protein, and CHEESY goodness in one "who needs teeth??" bowl.

Sonic, Wendy's AND McDonald's recently contacted me about this recipe, but Ronald can suck it, this is all mine!! Speaking of that dooshe Ronald, have you seen the commercial where Ronald McDonald make stars appear in the sky for the kids?? I guess he's God? He gives food (for only 99¢!!!), can take your life (with said fatty and shitty food) and can put stars in the sky. I guess on 7th day, Ronald created the chicken McF*king Nugget??

I guess I need to at LEAST make an attempt to talk about bikes, so here it goes.... I MIGHT go for a spin on the road tomorrow, IF I can get my shit together in time, and get all my kitchen duties done in time. If not, f*ck it. OK, see this ISSSS a bike blog.

OK, enough of that sh*t. Happy Thanksgiving to all you folks. Hoping the tooth improves enough to enjoy my bird tomorrow.

Later.

posted by Jason @ 6:29 PM   3 comments

3 Comments:

At 11:27 PM, Blogger b said...

Don't be so angry. Your recipe sounds like shit. All fake butter and fat free cheese. Dude. Cheese has fat in it.

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Yeah, but this some sort of hi-zoot fake plastic stuff. No fat but tons of carcinogens!

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger William said...

and breath...

 

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Junk mile specialist.

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