Sort of the loop

I had a plan. For the most part the plan worked. I spent some of Friday piecing together what I hoped would be a TRUE forest road loop, not the loop that I CALL a forest road loop (for some reason), but is at least half single track and rocky double track. My reasoning is that I want a killer monster cross-esque loop to do when the trails are just too frigin' muddy to be fun.

So I figured I would take advantage of the freakishly warm as the inside of a fat mans thighs (me?) November temps to piece together and explore the loop. DPOW joined me to help navigate and make me feel like a slowing, aging, Lycra expanding old man, by blowing by me and hammering up the climbs on his El Mariachi single speed, whilst I spun up behind him sick to death of looking at his tattooed legs and Twin Six shorted ass.

The loop I mapped out is 51 miles, with 4,700' of climbing. I know the second half of the loop so the plan was today was to explore the FIRST half which is roughly 31 miles. So from Rt. 31, Don and I headed over towards Seven Springs, rode down, down, down, down, down, down, down to some pavement, and the proceeded to have to climb back up ALLLLLL of that "I just hit 41 MPH on my mountain bike" descending.

Every so often we of course would have to stop to consult the maps, and make sure we weren't going to end up in Anal Fornication, Egypt (I can't wait to see the Google hits I get from the using the term "Anal Fornication." The pavement section we dropped down to lasted a little longer than either of us really were diggin', but at least it was UP, excuse me I mean UPPPPPPP! So it was challenging. One particular switch back had me thinking that I had indeed ended up in A.F., Egypt since I was being violated by the tip of my saddle in JUST such a way.

After passing several camouflaged men with weapons, a few dogs tied to trees, and a leaf burn or two, the pavement ended and the "ballz" of the ride started (when you read "ballz" could you please cup your hand as if grabbing a set of said dangling appendages? Thanks, it makes for a better read).


We climbed more. And then more. And then a little more, but then got to bomb down hill at some sick ass speeds. Then we had to stop to consult the map. The map was consulted, but gave us shit in return. So we took off, found our way no problem, but then need to stop to consult said shit direction giving map again. Don figured out where we were to go, but sadly where we went was a f*cking UP hill gas well road that if nothing else let me see Don have to walk the E.M. for the first time. Damn. So BACK down we went, consulted more maps, and found our way again. A nice undulating up hill towards Seven Springs.

Soon it was another sick 40+ mph downhill and a slight climb to County Line Road and then Jones Mill back to Route 31 and the xB.

Sure we got lost a time or two, it wasn't all dirt, or single track, but it was tough. With a LOT of climbing. I am by no means elven in stature, or skinny assed, like a great climber, but SOMETHING about climbing makes a ride for me. Some dudes are into technical, rocky single track, or killer down hills, but when I can piece a ride together that hurts like a bitch even when the trail is a 5 foot wide forest road, I feel my work is done.

While the ride was NOT a true mountain bike epic like last week's 40 mile bonk fest, that resulted in me in bed at about 8 p.m. on a Saturday, ruining Arron's Sunday road ride, and MAYBE contributed to Don ending up in hospital on morphine with kidneys stones ripped through his urethra, it was STILL a great ride with a lot of potential.

If I can figure out how to edit out the prolonged road sections the ride would be better. I also may need to figure out a way to ditch the FIRST Seven Springs section, since Don reminded me that the forest road were on, pretty much goes straight across the slopes and will be covered in masturbatory snow (my name for man made snow) until f*cking April.

The ride ended with 35+ miles due to getting sort of lost, and a ton of climbing. I think I MAY have even got a bit of sun burn. In NOVEMBER!!! I LOVE IT!! I have NO idea why people are so down on global warming? F*ck it. I want warm winter temps and year 'round riding. Plus I have a feeling I'll be lucky if I see 50, what do I care?? I'm kidding of course (sort of), but I do love me some 75* November riding.

After the ride, Don and I headed to Pro Bikes where I dropped off some wheels to get attention, and to talk to my fave bike shop staff in the wold. Timmy, Ralph and Jason. I also dropped some XXC stickers at the shop for them and anyone that wonders in. Tim was stoked and immediately put some on his roof rack. And he was pretty atimate (in that Tim "way", you have to know the dude) that folks are into the mag, and want to know when there' going to be a printed version. I wish I could have told him that there would be one soon, but print costs an ass load of cash, that I don't have. My plan (and there will be more on this later) is to try to raise some cash through downloads and XXC swag over the winter and hit the ground in the big ring with a printed version in the spring. Just in time for race season and complete and utter domination of the endurance race mag scene. Wait, XXC IISSSSSSSSSS the endurance race mag scene!! Yeah, that's right! LOL!

Big thanks to DPOW for some map reading (even though he made me climb that shit for nothing), and for waiting at the top of the climbs for me. It was nice to share the ride with a fellow dirt worshipper.

Time to do what post ride Saturday's are made for. Drink a perfect amount of beer (Victory Hop Devil, thank you) and make some kick as grub (Italian Turkey Sausage Pasta Bake, with a gluten free version for Wifey).

Later.

A.M. EDIT: re-mapped the actual ride from Saturday. It's HERE's the course from Saturday....