Been Better. Been Worse. What Am I?
Not much to talk about. There's been no riding and I'm busy as frig with the mag, and I MAY have to push a deadline back (not happy), but I'd rather delay a few days and put out something great than "blahhhhh." On top of all that I had Root Canal Round One today. Yeah, that was fun. Nothing like smelling the motor of the dentist's drill as it spins away just inches below your nose. Ouch. Insult to injury was having to listen to my dentist (a super nice guy), hum Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" whilst he drilled my tooth. Damn, THAT was SO uncalled for.
In actual bike related stuff... I'm coming to grips mentally with WHAT exactly I am becoming as a cyclist. Me thinks the ship has done sailed on ever getting fast, or even competing at the mid pack level again. So what am I to do? Accept it and just race for fuck's sake? Nothing wrong with that! Fight it, and continue to make a fool of myself? Again, nothing wrong with that! I've never looked at racing as "competing," but dropping from the mid pack in most of my races was a real blow to my fragile, homeless, retarded man living under a bridge type ego. Deep down I look at endurance racing as a very well organized group ride.
I still want to race, because THAT is what I do in the summer. I do plan to race less, and try to have more fun when I AM racing. I am not longer billing myself as a "bike racer." Just a guy who likes to ride his bike a lot, and when I race my bike, I want to be in the saddle for a long time. XC is great, but not for me. If I am going to take a day to travel, race, etc., I want to race more than 20 miles. Again, don't give me shit about racing XC, because I dig it, it's just not my thang. Oh well, I'm sure between some good food, good beer, long rides, and pharmaceuticals I'll figure it all out. As long as I'm riding, I will be good. Hmmm, I wonder if I can ride tomorrow???
Anyway, this was sort of one of those post for posts sake type posts (did I say "post" enough?").