A Trip To Maui Ruined

Well the promised snow came, and with it came my want to move as far away from winter cold as I can get. Since that won't be happening anytime soon, I figured the next best thing is heading to Maui, Hawaii via the Global Ride training DVDs I got late last winter.

I headed to the Stankment® and patched up the TV with some shit portable DVD player we got a couple years ago, and cued up Maui Rollers. A nice steady climb workout. After spinning through the boring warm up photo montage, the work out started. I was feeling good, and tolerating the music in the DVD so as to hear the "coach."

Another 5 minutes go by and the friggin' DVD player starts shitting the bed, and not working. POS! So my trip climb the hills of Maui didn't work out so well, but I had a back up plan. I call it.... LEMMY!

I reached over, shut the DVD off, got iPodious, turned up the volume and started the Ultimate Motorhead Mix. Lemmy guided me through the Soiled Chamois Productions "White Oak Rollers" workout.

Anytime I post about riding the trainer and my hatred of winter it is met with comments about how I should embrace winter, ski, get outside, etc., etc., and my reply is No. I do those things sometimes, but really hate the cold, the wet, and the ice. I hate layering, feeling like stuffed sausage, etc., Some days I do it, but I hate it. I've hated it for 38 years. It will not change. Don't get me wrong, I don't LIKE riding the trainer. I just like it more than being cold and wet. It doesn't take much to suck as much as me.

Speaking of Motorhead, Wifey and I got B-Man a cool ass freaking Christmas gift, but I don't want to say anymore, because telling the www. before Santa can bring it would creep me out. So you'll have to wait until next Friday to see it. It's just something little, but it rocks and dude is gonna freak.

B-Man was full of great lines and questions this past week. I wish I could remember them all. Some of my favorites were... "I know babies grow in girls bellies, but where do they come out? Do they come out of their butts?" I said "sort of" then attempted to explain but all I got out was "well you know how you have a penis, girls have..." Then giggling about the word penis and him telling me I should call them "nuggets" ensued. Then me arguing that we've called it a penis his whole life, and I'm not gonna stop now, because that's what it is. Of course there was part of me that was happy to not have to introduce the word vagina into his vocabulary yet. Another fave was "Dude we're out of yogurt tubes! You just left an empty box in the fridge, I'm like 5 years old, you're supposed to take care of me!"

Then of course there was our 10 minute conversation about what exactly Tiger Woods did (awkward!). I left it at "when you get married you promise to only cuddle and kiss the girl your marry. Tiger was cuddling a LOT of girls and hurt his wife's feelings a LOT. Serves me right for turning on the news, something I limit to about once or twice a year.

OK, the snow is shoveled, a work out is done, and a blog posted. Time for an Eddy Fitz or two.

Later.