Witching Hour and My Happy Place

Lately I've been referring to the time between 3:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m as the "Witching Hour." Sadly that's NOT the time when a gaggle of nymphomaniac witches enter my bedroom and seduce me... It's the time when I wake up. EVERY night. It's the time I wake up and fail to fall back to sleep. It's sort of maddening. Been going on for months now. OK, I DO fall back to sleep, but usually not until 6 a.m., and I get up a 6:30. Not fun.

I lay, think, fear, long, regret, cringe, shudder, etc., etc., We've all been there. Last night it was mostly just thinking of things I need to do/want to do. I try to just empty my mind (you would THINK that would be easy given how little I have IN my mind!!) and go to my "happy place." but it doesn't really seem to be working right now. What, you don't have a happy place?

Oh yes, the "happy place"... The place you go when you're trying to fall asleep, a place where you go when there is some complete idiot in front of you at the self checkout lane at Giant Eagle and you're giving it all you've got to not just FREAK out on them. A place where you go when topics turn to religion or politics at family dinner tables. I'm sure you have one, you must! Wanna know what mine is? NO, it's not safely in the bosom of a buxom red head (not that there's anything wrong with that, but that crosses over into fantasy and the whole "devil vs. idle hands" thing).

My place is Gothic Road (317), Crested Butte, Colorado.
Right around Emerald Lake.

It's right about here that the touristy traffic on the forest road starts to slow and/or disappear, the grade keeps getting steeper, you can see how Emerald Lake got it's name. You may or may not even run into some snow on the road, even in July! It's here that you start to get even more giddy about making it up to Trail 401, it's mountain meadows, and waist high wild flowers bordering it's incredible single track.

So why wouldn't I just think of the single track? Well the single track get the blood moving and the mind racing (again with the "idle hands" thing). Nope, it's the slow grind up Gothic, in air so thin that low landers like me wishing for supplemental oxygen, that is the perfect place to be.

Keeping a slow tempo in granny gear, taking in views of mountains that are so huge that you have to tilt your head back to see the top. So perfect and so picturesque you could weep. That's the place. Deep breaths, focused and glad to be alive.

Once to the top and the 401 trail head, you still have some more climbing to do. This time up single track just below tree line in some pine. Eventually you are in an open mountain meadow. This is another place to mentally go. There are mountains in every direction. Single track before you and in behind. The air is chilly, the sun is blindingly bright and except for the sound of the breeze blowing through the few remaining trees above tree line, it is silent. Perfect. It is the place that I would want my ashes to be spread when I die.

I've been lucky enough to make it to C.B. 3 times. The last time was when B-Man was just one year old. At that time I rode with my compact film camera, so all I have now are prints. I really need to get a scanner, or track down the photo discs that I KNOW I had made at least ONE of the times we were there.

So if this is my perfect happy place, why can I not sleep? Maybe it's not so perfect? Maybe lately it's just fueling the sleeplessness? Maybe I fear I won't make it back again? Maybe I regret employment/financial decisions that may prevent it from happening again? Maybe I shudder to think that the next time I experience that meadow it will be when Wifey hikes her then old ass up Gothic Road to spread my ashes!!

Maybe I need to think of a new "happy place?" I've been given many great opportunities to experience some incredible places and do some really cool things. Some just a few miles away, some thousands. Sometimes I think there are too many, and the sleeplessness just might come from not cherishing all of them.

So tonight when I most likely wake up at 4 a.m. I've made a pack with myself to not think about life's issues, work, bikes or blogs. I'm going to lay and mentally list the places that I've been over the past year, and try to remember what made those times so special. Try to remember their sights, their sounds, their smells. And even if I don't sleep I will relax knowing that where I've been and where I want to go.

I gotta get some sleep. I went all out and did some time in the Stankment tonight with the trainer and weights. Not exactly the greatest, but hey I call it "happy place preparedness." :)

Later.