That's More Like It

Waking up to a sunny day totally starts the day off right. No wonder folks who live in sunnier climates tend to be more laid back and many of the folks in my neck of the woods, including myself, our wound up tight Cameron Frye style.

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump
of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
-Ferris Bueller

So with the sun out and any potential lump of coal in my ass removed, I got my shit together PDQ this morning, so I could head out for a couple hours on the road.

There's something to be said when you start a ride on a cool (40 degree) day, those first few deep breaths that sort of singe your lungs and nose. Feels good. It's sort of a slap in the face from Ma Nature to say "Get movin' asshole!!! You wanted f*cking sun, you got f*cking sun, now ride you piece of shit!!" Not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but I always imagine Mother Nature as a real foul mouthed, ball busting domineering type woman. But again, I've said too much.

So as not to disappoint "mother" I did kick it in, and had a nice ride. Been a couple of rides since I did my standard 2 hour loop, so it was nice to do it again and see some progress. I'm longing for dirt, but didn't have the time to make the haul to Boyce, and I was unsure of the trail conditions. After today's warm temps, they might be ok, tomorrow if I can get there before the rains come back. If not, no worries, I'll be getting 5+ hours of dirt come Saturday.

Once home, I walked over to B-Man's school, picked him and up and we walked home so as to enjoy the sun. Then we headed to park where he had Tuesday Afternoon Crits.

All in all a great day. Got some work done, a ride in, and spent a great afternoon with my boy. Where he did all the standard boy things... rode his bike, threw rocks in the creek, swung from a vine in the woods, played "super spy" and talked trash on me. Which I captured on video!! But I gotta iMovie it 'cause it's too long. That little!!!...

I leave you with some words of wisdom...When you are getting ready for a ride the preferred order for getting dressed should be something like, apply Bag Balm, base, bibs, jersey, socks. NOT, I repeat NOT apply Bag Balm, Socks, etc., etc., OR you end up with this....

Sweet Jesus! Look at that! Figures double basted all the goodies today too due to last night's dinner and a pot of coffee rocking my caboose this morning. As soon as I sat down, I was like "oh snap!" I think it sort of looks like stencil art. Too bad it's my freaking ass on our freaking bed!! I really thought Wifey was gonna shit, but she took my idiocy in stride. I think I MIGHT see an outline of Elvis in there somewhere.

Later.

In The (Non Bike) Zone

I was in the zone today with getting work done. WOW! I left the house for a grand total of 5 minutes. My eyes and brain are fried by PDFs, HTPs, WWWs, FTPs, PSDs, etc., etc.,

I planned on road riding today, and was chamoised up once, but I could not justify not getting the stuff I was working on finished, just to do a road ride in 35 degree temps. As it is, I got a TON of shit done, and freed up my Tuesday to get some miles in in a little better weather. Hell yeah!

I got all squared away for trip #1 to Vadge on Friday for Saturday's 5 Hour race. Looking forward to getting the season rolling.

Sorry for the lackluster post, but I've been in front of my computer WAY to much today.

Later.

Sunday, Has NO "feel" anymore!!

No ride today, and a scheduled rest day. Thankfully so, because it pissed down cold rain most of the day. I like being able to take Sunday off, rather than feeling pressure to get a ride in like I used to.

Not much else going on tonight. Did a BUNCH of work on the eMag this weekend and hope to be able to send out a "preview" to some possible advertisers in the coming days. Got some Cheezy Chipotle/Bean/Pasta Bake in the oven AIT (As I Type). There's my timer, I'll be back.... (6:45)

(7:49) OK, I'm back. Anyway, no ride of any sort. Just went out to my Dad's with B-Man, hung out, watched Bolt with B-Man and came home to cook, drink some of my final beers for a while, and cook up some chipolte/whole wheat pasta bake. It was good stuff. My lips are still burning, but good none-the-less.

Not sure what's on tap tomorrow. The weather looks a bit shit, but Wifey is off due to her new 4/10 hour day schedule, so I might be able to go longer. With the Camp Hilbert 5 hour coming this Saturday, I don't want to got too ballz deep this week, and if I do earlier in the week would be best. But with the psycho weather of spring in WPA, I'll probably be lucky to squeeze in a road ride.

That's all I got, a pretty boring rest day.

Later.

Let The Gray Shine In

A later than normal start to my ride today nixed any trip to mountain, and with the rain we had overnight, I had no desire to slip and slide on Boyce Park clay, so I did up another road ride and got a nice 2:35-ish of pavement in. Hit a bunch of hills and finished with the BIG sub 5MPH climb up Turner Valley Road. I say 2:35-ISH because my computer shit the bed a couple times and I don't know how much time/mileage I missed. Anyway I think I got close to 40 miles in.

Temps were in the high 50s when I was riding and probably got over 60. There was no "real" sun to speak of. By real sun I mean the sort of kind 95% of the world sees. In WPA today sort of qualified as "sunny". A bright white (I call it a 10% cool gray) sky was JUST bright enough to let some sort of UV rays trough and gray up my skin a bit. A few more days like this and folks will be lusting my 50% gray skin and wanting to know if it's natural or if I've been going to a graying booth.

The return trip of my out and back figure 8 ride had a bit more head wind and that's never that fun. Of course it was sort of funny/sad when I was hammering along Blythedale Road and spotted an oncoming pick up with a sticker across the windshield that said "Bad Ass White Guy". I mean really! Who the f*ck puts that on their car? He won't feel so bad ass when his truck breaks down in the city. Dumb ass. And even worse it was in the in all caps Old English. I HATE when folks go all caps with script fonts. Grrrr!

All in all a good day in the saddle to top off a good week in the saddle. I felt great all week (except for Monday's mountain bike ride) and can feel my fitness coming on. I didn't get the hours I thought I would get, but I still hit double digits, which for a schlep like me is fine. Supposed to do the Camp Hilbert 5 hour next week. Driving 6 hours for a 5 hour race seemed like a great idea back in March, but now that it's been moved to April its lost some luster. But I will most likely being going though. It will be nice to test some nutrition out before the LBD. Races are going to be coming fast and furious real soon.

The above pic was a PhotoShop f*ck up that
I decided not to Command Z. I sort of like it. So I kept it.

Time for food, and some general mischief.

Later.

Delayed, But Good

Sheeeit, it was foggy as eph this a.m.. I really thought that I would be out there at 9 a.m. road riding in bibs, sans shirt, getting that first, look I'm a knob with bibs wearing no shirt tan* of the season. BUT the weather peeps thought differently. I had to delay it by about an hour and It was still 40 degrees and foggy as hell! I had to put the Swerve on just to make sure I could avoid becoming a notch in some hick with a truck's belt.

The fog, chilly temps and mist made for a visually awesome morning ride. I felt really safe with the bright ass Swerve lighting up my ass end, and legs were feeling spanky. On one of my first climbs I saw what I guess I could call my new co-workers, since I see them almost daily....


I will say my old co-workers looked a hell of a lot better, smelled better and had utters that I thought were more than a tad more attractive. It still all works for me. I just have to make sure that THESE co-workers don't become part of any "pop-in" fantasy. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, know-what-I-mean? If they do, I have some issues.

After that little climb I started descending, only to see the BIGGEST gaggle/flock/group of Turkeys I ever saw! There must have been 50. They took off in 2 different directions, but if you click on the above pic, you'll see a few little black spots. Those are some stragglers running/flying/whatever turkeys do to get away.

With roughly 5 miles left in my ride, the sun did FINALLY come out. Better late than never. It felt good and gave me an excuse to roll the arm warmers down. It also gave me some good light to capture THIS road sign/vehicle for country vigilante justice...

Nice to have a dry ride, even if I did have to deal with some heavy fog. In the end a nice 32 mile loop. I hit some different roads and got some additional climbing in, which is always fun. But I will say only in Western PA could you come to a PAVED road and have to deal with ruts the size of you whole body. WTF? Oh well, it just makes road riding that much more like mountain biking and THAT is always welcomed.

Later.

That Felt Good. Do It Again.

After yesterday's weather/time road ride c*ck block I was NOT gonna let it happen again. So today I had the Campeon and gear good to go for a post B-Man school drop road ride. The radar looked pretty clear or at least clear enough, and void of any yellow blobs to go ahead and get some ride time in out on the road. I dropped B., headed home, and got lubed and chamoised ASAP.

The temps were nice; mid 50s with no rain or strong winds. In my mind I heard my inner Yoda/Roadie say "in big ring ride you will". Since my compact crank big ring is not really all that big, I thought "that's doable!... Sort of!". I was actually shocked at how many climbs I was able to power up in the 50 that I just took for granted my flabby ass would never be able to power up. Ah, Yoda... you're the best coach.

At about mile 19 I felt some sprinkles. At mile 20 it started to rain. At mile 21 it was a steady rain. The rain was as cold as the blood in Eddy Merckx's veins, but felt as warm as the sweat coming off of Miguel Indurain's back in my mind. In other words, the ride rocked, even with the rain. I had a rain jacket but figured what the f*ck? I'm soft core! I can take a warmish rain with only 10 miles to go. Ha!

The only really bad part about the rain was it covering my glasses with water- thus not seeing. And of course the dead fish smell that permeated the air. I felt like I was riding with my face stuffed in a box full of dead Carp. Eeesh! Other than that the legs felt strong, and I was really enjoying being out on the road.

At the bottom of one 35 mph downhill is a rail road crossing. You gotta ease off, put your weight back and kind of hop them. All went fine except for my one bottle jumping ship, bouncing off the road, rebounding off the Campeon, being crushed by me rear tire and blowing the lid off like it was a pop bottle Mentos bomb. Just lucky I didn't crash due to said bottle. Note to self- Get a new bottle cage!

All and all a good day in the saddle and the weather looks like it might clear out for dryer roads tomorrow. Hope so.

To add some fuel to my mountain biker forced to the road 'cause of shit weather motivation, I came home to find the two issues of Embrocation (volumes 2 & 3) I ordered in the box. SWEET! I couldn't wait to see them. And they did not disappoint. I LOVE IT! This could be the best cycling mag out there.

Lots of influence from Rouler but I find the writing less "flowery" and more fun to read. It's all road/cross, and a bit pricey to buy, but if you love bikes, great photography, design and writing, I HIGHLY suggest you pick up a copy. At least that's my 2¢. If I can make XXC 1/8 as good as Embrocation I'll be proud.

The Campeon has been cleaned and lubed for tomorrow's ride. Now all I have to do is get the shoes in front of a fan to dry out. I guess I better go do that.

Later.

Weather Time Continuum & A Product Review

Today I got corn holed by the Weather Time Continuum. Part of it was my own fault. I thought I would just take the day off and do some work. But when I woke up and saw that there was no rain (as predicted), so I started getting stuff ready for a post B-Man drop road ride.

But then I started looking at the weather.com radar. Looked like the rain was about an hour out and I didn't want to get too far out and risk some of those yellow radar blobs falling on me. Light Green- Pretty Doable, Dark Green- Bad, Yellow- Suck. My normal road loop is a hair under 2 hours and wouldn't you know it, 2 hours later- NO RAIN! During that two hours I had waffled about 3 times whether to go or not. In hind sight, I should have gone. Even when it did rain, it was about as hard urinal spatter. Frig.

By the time it seemed I could give the weather the middle finger and go anyway, I realized that in less than 2 hours I would need to pick up B. I pick up him up at 1:00, so there was no way a 2 hour ride was getting squeezed in. So, I made the commitment to just do some core stuff. But I just wasn't feeling the love for it.

But I wanted to get a work out in. As luck would have it I just came into some training vids.

Thus... A Review:

I was contacted by a company called Global Ride. They asked if I wanted to take a look at their Hawaii Rides DVDs. I'm not a fan of indoor cycling DVDs. Most of the time I just can't get past the bad porn like snyth music, AND the fact that I'm watching folks ride their bikes and go nowhere. Hell it's bad enough I'M riding my bike nowhere, I gotta watch these people in vintage purple/yellow spandex ride nowhere?? No matter how hard the work out I just don't dig it. BUT once I checked out the site I was intrigued enough to agree to try them out.

See, the thing with the Global Ride DVDs is that it's you and the road. Riding from the rider's point of view. No group of sweaty spandex clad spinners. It's like you're really doing a ride. Or at least the trick is to CONVINCE yourself you are doing the ride.

So today I figured what the hell, I'll try one out. I did the Oceanside Ride. It's a sweet spot/steady tempo ride. I chose it because this week I've done two mountain bike rides, which for me are filled with LOT of short power bursts. I figured I needed some steady tempo work in.

When you pop the DVD in you can choose if you want music or no music and coach or no coach telling you what to do, and what language you want the coach to speak. TECHNICALLY there three choices- American, Italian, and Australian. But I have to go with that there are two. I mean is Australian REALLY another language? Do Australians REALLY have that hard of a time understanding American English? No matter, I stuck with the American dude and went with music.

The ride starts with a warm up of easy spinning and the DVD is just a montage of relaxing images to get you loose and want to book a flight to Hawaii. The music in this part is OK. Relaxing but it was coming close to that easy listening porn style music.

After a few minutes the coach comes on and tells you what's up and what the plan is. When the work out gets going the music changes and actually is pretty good for what it is. No porn music. Some DJ/Techno stuff that sounded good on the hi-fi in my living room and was well matched to the ride sequences.

The view of the road was pretty cool. When you start up a small hill you're actually going slower on the TV, then when you start down or level off you seem to be traveling faster. All the while the coach is telling you what to do. I did have to get off once to turn up the volume. Between the whirl of my trainer and the music it was hard to hear some of the instructions. I think a feature that Global Ride could add would be to add some graphics to let you know what zone/tempo you should be at. That way you're not an audio slave to the coach. I liked having the coach audio on. Beyond the instructions, I ACTUALLY found it sort of motivating. Usually I find motivational "coach speak" pretty lame, but this one came off pretty good.

90% of the work out is from the rider point of view. There are a couple shots of the rider climbing out of the saddle and what not, and the warm up and cool down are photo montages. I could have done without ever seeing the rider. But it didn't bring the video down at all.

The Oceanside Ride workout is broken up into 4 sections and the workout is about 45ish minutes. I would have liked it to have been a straight hour, but that's just me. There is also a 30 minute Pilates for Cyclists workout on the DVD too. I tried the Pilates. It was hard. And harder for me since I really don't do the class thing very well. Trying to do the exercises, listen to the instructor, all while feeling my core burn up, was not that fun! HA! I think I'll need to watch that part a few times to get the hang of it.

I kept most of my trainer rides to about an hour this winter, and they seemed WAY longer. This one flew by, which I attest to the first person views and listening to the coaches instruction. It was something to look at an pay attention to during the workout. Totally took my mind off the fact I was pedalling and going nowhere in my living room.

There are two other DVDs in the set I have- StrenDurance in Hawaii and Maui Rollers. I look forward to trying them out, but then again, if I'm riding inside, that means the weather is crap and I'm stuck on the trainer! HA!

I would recommend these DVDs to a cyclist who find themselves riding inside due to weather or schedule. I really dig the P.O.V.. and enjoyed it WAY more than any other spinning video I've tried. The DVDs are available individually or as a box set. If you only ride inside a handful of times in the off season I would just make yourself a good iTunes mix and get a work out in. But if you're like me and find yourself inside a 4 to 5 months a year, a few times per week, then I think these are a great option to make the most out of riding and going nowhere. The website say that there is a Italy Rides in production. THAT would be cool. Wifey and I dream of going there someday to ride. OR just eat and drink wine. Either way. It would be even cooler if they could put a set together with sections from Grand Tours or Classics, maybe have a Pro rider as the featured cyclist.

Who would I NOT recommend these DVDs to? Someone who works with a coach and has a strict training plan probably wouldn't want something like this, but then again you probably wouldn't be buying ANY sort of training DVD. Also if you're a rider who is COMPLETELY against riding indoors, no DVD is gonna change your mind.

Check out their website for more info and video clips. You can also check out a Livestrong deal that they have going on where you can get the DVDs AND get some money to Livestrong.

Wow, THAT was a lot of typing. Time for some food and a beverage. Hope to get out tomorrow, but if not I guess I have Maui? HA!

Later.

Bad Mojo: DITCHED

Oh Tuesday, how I love thee. Or at least how I love thee better than f*cking Monday! I was given the choice of heading back to Boyce for dirt this morning or a road ride. Dirt won of course. I figured I needed to redeem myself for yesterday's sub par performance and at least get a "par" performance in today.

I waited an extra half hour today to let the sun do that thing where it warms the earth, thus not making my hands numb and useless. I also put an extra layer of clothes on. In fact I double bagged my digits today so as to keep the Jack Frost and his band of militant sun haters at bay.

It worked, 'cause normally within the first 15 minutes of a ride in temps like this morning my hands are frozen to the point of uselessness and pain. You know the temps... 28 feels like 10*. Why do they say that anyway? How come in the summer they never say it's 80 but feels like a 110* To who?? I mean if I have 7% body fat (as if) and some dude has 45% body fat, there is NO WAY that 30 feels the same way!! Anyway, I'll move on...

The ride went well and I hit part of my old loop that I've yet to do this spring and discovered that the Trail Gnomes put in a bad ass bridge over a nasty (and growing worse) little drainage area. Sweet! Now there is much more flow to the single track.

The best part of today's ride was the fact that whatever changes I made to my Relish shock/saddle/tire pressure, etc., worked! 2 hours of single track and my back did NOT HURT!! F-Yeah!! Why? Who knows? All I know is that I didn't need to stretch it out even once during the ride. And to me that is ALL that matters.

Later in the day B-Man and I took the Big Mama to pro bikes to have her B.B. replaced. Luckily I still had my old XT from when I switched to an XTR crank on the Dos Niner and the cost will be mega small.

Not sure what Wednesday will hold ride wise. Might take a day off... or not. Who knows?

Time for food and some Bell's Kalamazoo Stout.

Later.

A Monday Is A Monday

I've come to realize it doesn't matter if you have a job, school, or live in the world of virtual slack that I now reside. A Monday is a Monday. In other words it's a day sluggishness, crap luck, and a longing for Friday!

The plan today was to take the Big Mama out for 2+ hours of dirt. As I was prepping said Large Orange Mother to go, I kept hearing this strange sound. Hmmm, what was it?? I finally made it to the crank/bottom bracket and sure enough there was more play in the bottom bracket and crank than a porn film's sound stage! FRIG!

Oh well, I got me one of those cool orange Dos Niner bikes too. At least now I'd have a chance to roll a few miles in the my new/old WTB saddle and see if it made any difference.

The temps today would get up into the 50s. The suck part to that is that when I riding there were in the freaking low 30s!! I know it's March, and you take what you can get, but GOD DAMN I'M TIRED OF BEING COLD!! Shit I just hate being cold!!! PERIOD. Damn! But the sun was out and I was on my bike instead of at a job I hate, so I even though I just did, I can't/shouldn't complain.

A few miles into my first lap it was apparent- my saddle height was too low. It needed raised about a 1/2 inch, but I figured I'd get back to the Xb soon enough. The height may have been off, but the saddle was feeling surprisingly good. My hands on the other hand were frozen nibblets of suck, but again... I'm NOT complaining. Just stating a fact. I couldn't feel my fingers. Jeeezus! I NEED California.

I eventually warmed up a bit and got my first lap in. Stopped at the Xb, raised the seat, peed, and moved on. The sun was starting to burn the frost off the ground. Cool. Wait, NOT cool. Why? Well now that there was a slick film mud/clay where the trail was frozen hard pack. The Ignitors don't take to clayish mud so well. How do I know?...

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm SUPPOSED to be ON my bike and NOT in a ditch full of sticks, brush, and thorns. FRIG! I was fine, the bike was fine, but I just felt all cattywompass on the bike. Who knew the trails would get so slick from a little melting frost??

After the crash, I rode a few more miles, cursed my tires, the cold, and the "mud from nowhere" and figured my mojo had a "case of the Mondays". My time would be better spent doing things at home and hanging with the B-Man.

Later after 5 (when it's socially acceptable to have a beer) I had a Hop Wallop, and made up some dinner while watching No Reservations (Tuscany. God I want to got to Italy). I had a new recipe tonight (that I made up) but I f*cked it a bit with TOO much "heat".

I had the gastro itch for Brown rice, Canelli beans, diced red/green peppers and onions, 2 links of (loose) hot turkey sausage, 3 minced chipotle pepper, some salt/pepper, and some E.V.O.O.. My mistake? I should have used TWO chipotles, not 3. It was a tad bit TOO hot. Good, but not great. I had high hopes for this one, but my love of heat got the best of me.

Monday handing me my ass today with some bad mojo and some bad luck. Oh well, there's always Tuesday, right?

Later.

A Spent Sunday

With temps in the 50s and the sun shining, it was really hard not to ride today. But the legs were pretty spent from one of biggest weeks of riding since last summer. Anxious to see if I can top those hours this week.

I'm making a few adjustments to the bikes. First I'm gonna ditch my Dos Niner's trusty Fizik Nisene HP saddle for a few rides. Throwing on an old WTB Laser V saddle I have. I don't like the WTB because of the amount of stitching (can irritate my ass cheeks) and the fact that it's sorta portly, but I want to see if the the little bit of extra padding on the rear of the saddle will aid my back a bit. I figure it couldn't hurt to try. I'm also lowering the Relish air pressure and rear tire pressure a bit.

I read a bit on CyclingNews.com where Lance Armstrong mention that he was having some back problems, and when he went back to his old saddle it went away. I never thought of the saddle having an effect on back pain, but I what the hell.

I also swapped my lighter weight LBofH built Hope/Stan's wheels to the Big Mama. I want to see what if any difference the wheels make to the bike. Since I want to use the Big Mama at the Bakers Dozen I wanted to make sure everything matched up well. It does no problem. On the other hand the Dos Niner is getting some slight rotor rub. Not sure why, The Avid rotors are much newer than Hope one's that were on the Dos, so maybe that's the issue.

I plan on getting the Big Mama some more dirt time in the next day or two, anxious to see how she rides with the race wheels. I

Time to do a few XXC bits, make some dinner, and rest the legs for another week of "training". A word that when I say it seems like it should always be accompanied with air quotes, a smirk, a wink, and raise eyebrows.

Later.

Catch Up & An Eye On The 401

Catch Up...

Wow, Friday really got away from me. Brad and I rode Boyce yesterday for about 2:30, then with Wifey off and B-Man around there was a lot of house stuff to catch up on. By "house stuff" I mean I needed to get some serious Wii soccer playing in (A.C. Milan still rocking it... Kaká!!), talk to my friend Tom for a bit on the phone, hang out with Wifey, play with B-Man, and cook up some kick ass Whole Wheat Rigatoni Hot Turkey Sausage Pasta Bake whilst enjoying a few beers. Wifey says I many have had one too many, but I was all caught up with my domination of Serie A. Can you blame me?

The ride on Friday was OK. I sort of felt sluggish and felt like I was holding Brad back. He's in some killer shape and rocking a new Salsa Moto Rapido. Unlike me, the returning cold temps did not phase him. I think it's the Wisconsin blood in his veins. A combination of cheese and Schlitz makes him impervious to the cold. Anyway I didn't have the planned 3+ hours in me Friday. Riding with Brad made me realize I REALLY need to work on my corning skills. I waste a LOT of energy with my hard braking in the corners. I lack "flow". Gotz no flow. Still 2:30 in the dirt was nice, even if it was colder. Wifey did point out to me last night that 6 months on blood thinners might have SOMETHING to do with my sensitivity to the cold. She might be right, but that also makes me feel like I'm about a season away from adult diapers and dentures.

_____________________________________________

Practice For The 401

In 2009 I hope to get 4 hudies in. One of which being the Wilderness 101, which tacks on an extra mile, so I'm aiming for 401 miles of racing in the N.u.E. series. I'm calling it "401 Miles In The Pursuit of Free T-Shirts and Beer". Practice for those 401 miles of racing started today with a drive to the mountains of Western PA, 3:40 in the saddle and 30+ miles of dirt and forest road. With a TON of that time spent going UPhill. Uphill slowly I might add. ;)

Actually I felt pretty OK on the climbs. The Dos Niner is such a great bike for a ride like this. I also experimented with getting out of the saddle on the climbs more. With the Fox locked out, I was able to middle ring much more of the climbs, and give my ass and back a rest. It also got me up the climbs faster.

Most of the trails were dry or tacky. On the climb up from the warming hut on North Woods I did need to hike a bike a stretch as the there was a bit more mud and it was at the most inopportune time, making it just as fast to walk. I ditched the long rocky descent down Mountain Streams trail. Opting for Auckerman Road. Auckerman is still a junk kicker, with lots of loose gravel, embedded rock and steep 28 mph parts. 28 mph is great, but hard to enjoy when you know that when you get to the bottom you will eventually have the BIG ASS climb up Camp Run Road.

My saddle was a real pain in the ass today (no pun intended). I switched to my Race Face CF post. It's a great post, but the saddle would NOT stay put in the clamp. Long climbs on rocky, rooty trails, there's a lot of saddle sliding betweenst my aging, flabby ass cheeks and it would cause the saddle to move fore/aft. I can NOT clamp in down any tighter. What the frig??

The temps when I got to the trail head were in the high 30s. Cold but it it HAD been in the low 20s in the early a.m., so I guess high 30s was sorta better. It would climb to the high 40s. With the amount of climbing I did today, it didn't take long for me to ditch my jacket and just go with arm warmers (BTW I FINALLY found my Cannondale arm warmers!!) and leg warmers. Would have been nice to have had some temps in the 60s or 70s for the ride, but hey, at least the snakes stayed at home!!

It was great to return to the mountains for the first time since last November. I've missed it. Riding up there is my fave. There just so much varying terrain- forest roads, double track, snow mobile trails, single track, some short road sections, and climbs that you can just NOT get from you local county park single track loop. I Heart Mountains!

Now I introduce my foray into erotic poetry...

Supple white skin but with a golden brown hue.
Soft to the touch, With a scent of spicy passion.
I longed to taste her.
She felt warm in my hands.
I peeled off her layer of tight plastic wrap.
The smell... the taste... I missed her so...
GOD DAMN I LOVE THE HOMEMADE PEPPERONI ROLLS
AT THE 6 PACK SHOP/PIZZA SHOP
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN!!

Really enjoyed the drive home, listening to some tunes, sore from a long ride and munching the best pepperoni roll I ever tasted.

Time to cook up some food, have a beer or two, and hang with my best mates (Wifey and B-Man).

Later.

p.s. I made it into the "teens" in ride hours for the fist time in a lllong time this week. SWEET!

Not Without Bike

Today was a day off the bike, but not a day without bike. 90% of my life involves bike/riding/racing in some way. Today it was getting mad amounts of work done on XXC, and prepping the bikes for a 3+ hour assault on Boyce tomorrow with 1 half of the Schmalzers (the half that rides and is a dude).

The next two days are gonna be dirt-tastic (A.K.A. orgasmic). A few hours at Boyce tomorrow and then Saturday I'm heading to the mountains for the first time this year to get some riding in. I might be doing a group ride with some folks or I might be opting to get a big ass loop with some serious ass climbing in. Either way, it's f*cking sweet!

I spent a sick amount of coin on periodicals today. I ordered up Issue #2 of Embrocation and pre-ordered Issue #3. I can't wait. I'm a sucker for these sort of mags, and as I've mentioned before, Embrocation is a major influence in my want to do an endurance based eMag.

Picked up some Victory Hop Wallop today. One of the best around. Matched it up with a big ass pot of my chili tonight. Nothing goes better with a kick ass pot o'chili like a nice hoppy beer. Look for more on that is issue #1 of XXC. All I can say is that Brad might do his best to stay in front of me tomorrow morning. Eeesh, it's gonna be scene.

Time to read some blogs and get some rest.

Later.

Used To This?/Soiled Manifesto

Could I be getting too used to this no "real job" thing? Having the time to get rides in during the a.m. is really pretty sweet. Today I got in a nice 31 mile loop in between some XXC stuff and B-Man pick up. The weather has been damn sweet too! Once my Dad duties are takin' care of, and a few other things, the only decision I have left, is road or dirt?

Today I chose road. The body needed a break from dirt and it was nice to have warm temps to roll in at 10 a.m. rather than 30 degrees. I love the feeling the legs have after two days of pushing a 28 pound FS bike up hills. A 18 lb. road bike feels like... well, an 18 pound road bike, AND fast (which I am not).

Two frustrating things about road rides: WOW! I'm really feeling good, I got me some "Boonen Legs" today!.... F*CK! I'm in my small ring!! OR WOW! I'm was really feeling good on that last section, I got me some "Boonen Legs" today....F*CK! That was a tail wind! This head wind SUCKS!

Last night's Morrissey show was amazing. When the house lights dimmed and the intro music was playing I literally had chills and goose bumps and if prodded, I probably could have cried. Not because I think he is that great, but because I've been listening to him for 20+ years. When I was a miserable fat teenage prick, those songs made me feel not so alone. When I was skinny but alone, I felt better about myself. When I was in a relationship they helped me cherish it, when Wifey had B-Man, they reminded me of the bad times in my life and instilled the want to never let him have to deal with those things. It was just an incredible experience and just plain fun to be out with Wifey, AND seeing my fave musician ever. Good times.

OK, OK, I won't go on. As one commenter recently pointed out to me when he read that I watch my calorie intake "I need to grow a set". Ha, I wanted to tell them- I done grown a set 37 years ago and now shit's hanging a bit too low!!" Like draggin the toilet water low. But I didn't.

Speaking of all that... I notice with each passing year The Soiled Chamois gets linked up in various places and new readers come and go. I dig that. My long time readers and friends now what this blog is about and what/who I am, but if you're new to the Chamois I just want to point out a few things about myself so I don't have folks thinking I'm something I'm not and commenting as so. So I give you..

THE MANIFESTO:

I'm NOT a pro, I'm a horrible mechanic and I barely know how to change a tire. I race to push myself, to finish, and have a good time. I love bikes, beer, food, music, and most of all my wife and son. I have sponsors and they know what I'm all about. Most, if not all, of my sponsors are folks that I know and respect. 90% of how I train and ride is probably wrong. 10% of how I train and ride would be great if I was a 15 year old girl. When I talk about finishing "mid pack" that's a f*cking goal, not a reality. Did I say I loved beer? Yes, OK, lets move on... I will choose mountains over beaches, and the dirt over the road as much as possible. I prefer brunettes over blondes and buxom red heads over both. I like sunny days, hate rain, winter, wind, and hard core NRA, suite wearing Republicans who feel that even though they make 100+K a year, life gave them a shit hand. I'm not a Democrat. I don't vote. I don't care. I believe in God/Jesus, but don't dig religions. I like to read, but mostly just pornography (that's a joke). I DIG food. I love to cook, bake, grill., etc., I would rather eat in than go out any day of the week! I got my first cell phone in 2008. I couldn't tell you my cell # to save my life. I will never do another road race. Why? They're too hard, I suck at them and would rather crash on dirt than pavement ANY day. I don't, but WILL wear a hydration pack to road ride, I don't use road pedals on my road bike, I respect and admire Pro road racers but pray to the Cycling Gods with each passing second that Pro mountain biking could get the same attention. I have been depressed in the past. I took medication for said depression. I don't take anything anymore and that makes me happy. I love beer. SHIT! I said that!! I used to road ride in the city. I won't do it again. I love riding in "the sticks" too much. I love my blog, and interacting with folks around the country/world via my blog. I love reading comments, even if they're negative, but pseudo "anonymous" comments sort of suck. British music will always be better than American (don't fight me on this). I would rather drink cat urine than a Coors Light, I suffer during EVERY ride, NOT just 24 hour races. I have a blood clot in my leg. It may still be there. I don't work anymore- I took a "buy out" from my employer and will be paid not to work for the next 43 weeks. Not working makes me VERY happy. I hated my job and never want to do that work again. I can't imagine not having sideburns. People with no sideburns at all scare me at first. I have no tattoos, but if I did have one, it would say something like "Gangsta Bitch" and it would be across my belly. I wish I was younger. I used to be scared to die. I'm not anymore. I don't have a ton of friends, but the ones I do have are very good peeps, and I cherish them AND my family. I have opinions, they might not always be what your opinion is, but that's cool and what "freedom" is all about. After Wifey and B-Man, I LOVE cycling- mountain, road, BMX, mountain, CX, Mountain, off road, dirt, mountain. Never tell me I don't. Cycling is the greatest sport in the world. If anyone tells you it's not- kick them in the teeth. Then go for a ride and have a beer.

Time to cook up some food.

Later.

Further Into The Fallen Fog

I'm getting used to my a.m. dirt ritual. I love being a Dirt Worshiper as Al Swearengen says. Of course I think Al meant something completely different, ha! To me it means "quality time" on two wheels in the dirt. I was lucky to squeeze another 2 hour ride in this morning.

I planned for a road ride, but thick fog would have delayed my start time, and I need to get out and get it done ASAP. "It" being my ride before my Dad duties take over. The trails were in fine shape and I had a blast. At least as much as a guy and his bike can have alone in the woods for two hours.

Gotta run, B-Man and I are heading out for some Whiffle Ball action. I smell No-Hitter! Dude can NOT hit my curve ball.

2:15 and Moz has not cancelled yet. That gives him 5 more hours.

Later.

Dirt. It's What's For Big Mama's Breakfast

Caution, this post is about 99% about my bikes. Sorry. I'm just feeling some mad love in my nuggets.

I started off the week and the day right today, with 2:10 of dirt. Even better was that it was on my Big Mama. That made for 2:10 my back felt great in the saddle. I kept trying to compare the Dos Niner to the Big Mama on certain trails and climbs. They are both such great bikes, I hate to say one is better than the other. Every time I came up with a reason that the Dos MAY have been better, a second later I came up with a reason why the Big Mama was better.

The Big Mama is just a freaking slut for single track. I'm real lucky to be able to have two bikes, and if I had to have ONE and race it would be the Dos Niner. But since I have two it comes down to this- If the race/ride is long and has a lot of single track the Big Mama will win every time. If the race is XC or has a lot of forest road climbing, the Dos Niner will win.

For 6,12 or 24 hour races the Big Mama wins hands down. I don't care if there's a lot of climbing or not, the Big Mama makes up for it with the lack of fatigue, and it's a ability to suck up my bad line choices. If I wasn't 37 with the back of a 60 year old, I might think differently. Or if I was the type of racer at these events that starts fast and tries to just keep the hammer down. But I'm not. I try to be as steady and consistent as I can and see what happens.

For many folks it would just come down to bike weight vs. the course. But I just can't say enough about how my back felt after today's ride. If felt FINE after 2:10 minutes of riding with 2:08 of that being on single track. I rode 3 hours on the Dos on Saturday and my back felt like shit for 24 hours

Just a great way to start of what looks to be a week with a lot ot potential saddle time. I hope to spread my ass cheek time around (eeew) on the Dos, Big Mama and Campeon and just enjoy my time in the saddle.

Mozzer is tomorrow night, unless of course he cancels (which he most likely will). Got to prepare and go get my mope on.

Later.

The Race To The Sun(day)

I'm watching Paris-Nice. Even though I'm not a huge fan road riding or road racing, it's the only game in town on cable. That and I'm a perv for bike racing on TV. I'd watch two mullet headed fat kids ride BMX bikes to the mini mart for ice tea, if it was on TV. OK, I need to vent-I love Bob Roll, but the verbal fellatiating of Lance Armstrong needs to stop!! Jeezus!! Dude's not even in the race. And NO BOB, it is NOT good for bike racing to have Lance back. Sorry. That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.

I will say it's cool to see Contador kicking it in after loosing the jersey in an epic bonk. OK, Sylvain Chavanel just dropped a chain and needs a team car to help him. WHAT?? Jeezus dude, at this point just stop and put it back on. I have the mechanical ability of a one armed gorilla, but I can get a chain back on. Frig! OK, enough about bikes on cement. How much do I LOVE saying Tony Colom? It sounds like a Sopranos character. Toni "the toe" Colom. Yeah, someone needs to "reach out" to him.

I like the taste of Sunday now that I have no "real" job. Sunday used to be another day of me scrambling to get a longer ride in, whether on the road or dirt. Today it was an off day. Time spent working on XXC, with my dad, and watching bikes race on TV with a fine beverage. Tomorrow I will start another week. Sounds good to me.

Speaking of me working on XXC, I'm making some good progress, but would like to highlight some of the 24 Hours In The Old Pueblo. If you have any pics, video, or words you would like to share with some fellow enduro freaks, drop me an e mail at xxcmag (at) gmail.com. Gracias.

The plan for Monday is to hit more dirt on the Big Mama (if the rain holds off), or get 2 to 3 hours of the hard pot-holed, car littered, gray stuff in. Either way, two wheels moving via my legs and a smile on my face. Cheers.

Later

A 3 Hour Tour

The plan today was to hit single track at Boyce for a minimum of 3 hours. The plan rocked, but the ride rocked more!

I originally was going to work on some pacing a fueling stuff, by doing multiple laps of a 7 mile loop I have. After loop one, that plan seemed stupid right now, so I opted for 3 loops, but adding some additional trails to laps 2 and 3. This proved way more fun.

Earlier in the week when I was planning the ride, I wanted to use my full squish Big Mama. But Mama needed a brake bleed and was at Pro Bikes. If I had wanted to wait until later in the day, I could have swung by Pro Bikes and got her on the way, but I wanted to be on the trail by 10, so Dos Niner version 3.2-B was the bike of choice.

The trails were 85% dry today with only a few slick spots. BUT Boyce mud is full of clay and can be super slick. Not to mention tire clogging. Hell, the Ignitors were clogged so badly that they looked like slicks by the end of the ride. And that was only from a few slick open field sections. Jeezzus!!

I could not be more pleased with my change to a 100mm stem. My position on the bike is SO much better now. Steering is better, getting over obstacles is better, etc., I can't believe that 20mm could make such a huge difference to my control of a bike. I feel more centered on the bike and also feel like I'm making better use of ALL my leg muscles rather than just my glutes and hammies. The back was still pretty sore by the end, which I kind of figured. The ride was 98% single track with only a couple short service road sections. All that single track was the main reason I wanted the Big Mama for today.

Yeah, yeah, Boyce is pretty smooth sailing and I know some folks (OK, just ONE dude) that can ride 99% of it on a cross bike, but he's a freak. My 37 going on 38 year old body needs every bit of help it can get. Jeezus, just typing that made me realized that I've been riding Boyce for about 13+ years now. HOLY CRAP I'm getting f*cking old! Not to mention you would think I would be faster!! ;)

In the end I did about 25 miles of single track in about 3:15 with pee brakes and a stop to ditch some layers in the Xb. Climbing was aces, fueling was spot on, the XTR crank continues to amaze me with how stiff it is, the stem was a great purchase, and most of importantly- I had a f*cking GREAT time in the dirt. There is just nothing better! OK, sex might be better, but that's a whole other part of the day. (oops I've said too much). I mean at one point I was REALLY close to dismounting, laying down in the dirt and doing some sort of pseudo love making type action. It felt THAT good to be off the road, in the woods and rolling on dirt.

I managed a second week into the double digits of saddle time. Given my responsibilities (even with no freaking job), and the wacky spring weather of Western PA, I'm pretty stoked about that.

That's all for bike talk, but there is...

A SIDE NOTE: I'm drinking a Nugget Nectar (I took a brake, now a Hop Slam) as I type. Is there anything better than breathing in that aroma of hops as the glass hits your lips?? Speaking of beer... today was the St. Patrick's Day parade in Pittsburgh. Not a fan of the event or the holiday (hell, I'm just a Bohunk), but of course a lot of yokels would be swilling Guinness. I have to say Guinness is about #456 on my beer list. It's just not my cup of "tea". There are so many outher stouts that I like better, that it just seems stupid to waste the calories on a Guinness.

Very often folks (non beer geeks) will tell you that Guinness is "strong" because it's dark PLEASE inform them that they are wrong. It's only about 4% ABV. It's a pub beer for folks to enjoy more than a few in a night and not be CROCKED. In contrast, the gold/copper hued Nugget Nectar I'm enjoying is 7.5% or so. And before you unleash the Irish Mafia on me, please note that I do enjoy one on occasion, and RESPECT the TRADITION of Guinness. I would just rather have a sweeter, robust and nuttier stout. But hey, that's just me.

Time to cook up some grub, have Wifey do something to my back and enjoy a couple more beers. Some people ride to race. Or race to ride. I ride, to race, to burn calories to eat good food, drink good beer and enjoy time outside. And I wouldn't trade any of that for a spot on the box. I might trade it for a case of Nugget Nectar though! :)

Later.

Why I'm An Idiot: Reason 4,021 (and counting)

Finally spent a day off the bike today. Well, sort of. B-Man is ALL ABOUT the Hotrock 16 and wanted to ride today. RIDE ON! So even though it was it was a little bit chilly he took the bike out. I love the fact that my 5 year old was wearing a wool plaid Walz Cap under his Lazer "polar bear" helmet. Protected AND cool.

B-Man motors on the new bike and I couldn't simply walk behind him like I used to (memories...), so I grabbed the Campeon and my helmet and trailed behind him up and down the side walk. He LOVED it and of course wanted to race. Shit, I SMOKED his ass!! Kidding of course. He handed me mine for sure, but we both had a great time, even though I must have looked like an Uber Fred to folks in my jeans, tennis shoes and riding a "10 speed bike" as the local seem to call road bikes.

That was a hoot and would be repeated later in the day, ollowed by soccer and whiffle ball in the back yard. Shit, I'm SPENT! A ride doesn't take it out of me like keeping up with B-Man. This JUST might be my secrect weapon in 2009.

_______________________________________

OK, Now to the REAL reason you read this far (other than the apparent lack of ANYTHING at all to do on a Friday night)- Why I'm An Idiot: Reason 4,021 (and counting).

I was e mailing with Don P. today and mentioned to him that I finally registered for The Mohican 100 yesterday. To which he replies "Hey Mr. Moneybags your registered twice for the Mohican now". I thought he was joking. He HAD to be joking, but SURE enough... there it was... I was registered twice. WTF? I've been reminding myself for a couple weeks to register, looks like I already did though. No worries, I got the cash back and all is good. BUT I look like a SUPER freaking knob.

I have retained Don P. as my personal assistant to advise me on matters like what f*cking races I've already registered for!!!

Looking to get some long hour on the dirt tomorrow (joy!). Time to make up some Turkey Ballz (yes, my Friday Night Ballz are back!!) and register for the Lumberjack 100 and Camp Hilbert 5 Hour Enduro.

Later.

Thursday Came Close. Real Close...

The plan was to get 2+ hour of single track in today. I came close, but got f*cked by my sense of direction and lack there of.

I got a registered letter from the Trib yesterday (Separation paperwork/check/401K, etc.,). I wasn't home, so I had to trek to the McKeesport Post Office this morning to pick it up. Easier said than done. I live a stones throw away from the Port, but RARELY venture there. Today I HAD to go there and of course I got lost. What I saw has no words. All I can say is that I can NOT believe that some folks live like that!!!!!!! I'm not talking "middle class white dude meets lower class shit". I grew up poor. I KNOW white trash. What I saw today was BEYOND anything I ever grew up in. Trash all over the place, dirt, mud, cars on blocks, boarded up businesses, busted out windows, "oh look a Hummer", etc., etc.,

A quick phone call to Wifey (YES I ACTUALLY used my cell phone for once) and she got me to the P.O.. That's all well and good, except I'm now a half hour+ late for my ride. Grrrr.

Regardless of how late I was, I DID make it to Boyce for some time in the dirt. No, it wasn't the 2+ hours I hoped for, but I did get 1:40 in and the dirt looked, smelled, and tasted like heaven!!! I used the Dos Niner today for the first time in a lllllong time. The 100mm stem is spot on. It helps the back pain a LOT , but did not get rid of it. The Big Mama KILLS the back pain, the Dos Niner and it's new stem delay it. What-are-ya-gonna-do?

The trails were in good shape and the timing of the ride was perfect. It was warm enough (33?) to escape with un-frozen bottles, but cold enough that the trails were not a mud pit. I got in more hours with the XTR crank, and I have to say, I was NOT imagining things last week., the XTR crank is just plain ol stiff and propels my ass forward QUICK! It's way more than I deserve. I'll happily use it, but XC racer types are way more deserving of such a crank. But then again, I paid for it, so f*ck them. ;)

This is what stuck lens cover looks like.

I was real happy with the way the Dos Niner handled today, and can't believe I rode as long as I did (2 years!!) with that 120mm stem. The 100 just made steering and control 10x better. I may have been able to squeeze an extra 1/2 hour in today, but since you can never rule out a mechanical and I had a certain kick ass 5 year old that needed picked up by 1:00 I thought it best to call it at 1:40 and head home to shower, etc.,

Once I picked B-Man up we headed to Pro Bikes to drop off the Big Mama to have the rear brake bled. Tim (AKA the Little Ball of Hate) thought that it was a "reach thing", but the rear brake is like a sponge and needs bled and what not done to it.

While we there B-Man was able to pick up his new ride...

He's THRILLED with the new ride and is super anxious to get some miles in. I of course am super geeked that he WANTED a new bike and not some "sit around eat and get fat" type toy.

All in all another great day in and out of the saddle. I may try to make a return to Boyce tomorrow, but I also have a TON of shit to get done if I want to do a BIG Saturday ride in.

Later.

Who Knew It Could Be This Good?

After I was bent over the barrel and victimized by the local helmet haired weatherman yesterday, I swore today would NOT get the best of me! I would ride no matter what Ma Nature threw at me. So as soon as I dropped B-Man off at pre-school, I had some decisions to make- An hour of hill climbs or my normal road loop? (formerly known as my 2 Hour Post-Work Road Loop. But since SOMEBODY doesn't really work anymore, I can't name it that anymore). I went with the loop.

Temps were great, hovering in the low 60s (which was SWEET!), but they would drop through the ride and the day. The not sweet part were the wind gusts up to 40+ mph!! HOLY CRAP!!

Today was a typical Western PA spring day. Sunny, rainy, windy, cloudy, calm, warm, chilly, etc., etc. In other words it was off it's f*cking nut.

For the most part the sky looked like this....

This pic could actually be the official portrait of a Western PA sky. It looks like this about 320+ days a year here. I said it before (I'm saying it again) we're just like Seattle, just not cool (at all). Admittedly once and a while the sun DID poke through those clouds today, and it felt gggggooood.

There were time the wind was just f*ckin relentless. And some time were I loved it! Like on one 2 mile stretch were I ACTUALLY had a tail wind and added a good 3 or 4 mph on my speed. But that was few and far between. For the most part it was me trying to stay on the road and battling a 20 to 30 mph head wind. How can something be FUN and NO FUN all at the same time???

Dammmn, I love me some switchbacks!!

I had a great day. I continue to love my new "job". I do some creative shit, ride, take care of our house and have fun with the B-Man. Speaking of the B-Man and I, we got a little stir crazy the other day and went off our nuts taking pictures of ourselves doing "karate" moves...

B-Man won in the "moves" department.

Later in the day, I just hung with B-man. We played, we cleaned, we did guy stuff like burp, fart, make comments about buttocks (OK that was just me), etc., etc. Good stuff. Then later I made up some White Trash Mexicana and had couple of quality beers from Dogfish Head. Who knew a f*cking Wednesday could be so good??

To top if off a good, I ordered some shoes from Zappos.com late last night. I got an e mail this morning saying they upgraded my shipping for free. And then this afternoon I was sporing new kicks. Zappos rocks! I will never go to the mall again. May it rot.

Hope to hit some dirt in the a.m.. Who knows though, with our psycho weather, ANYhing could happen!

Time to go sniff my new Vans. GOD I LOVE THAT SMELL!!!

Later.

A Shark Jump

Not much going on today. OK, that's a lie, I had a bunch o'shit going on. I guess more specifically there was no REAL ride shit going on. I woke up to dark clouds and a predicted day of rain. In between doing some XXC layout stuff, some house stuff, and getting the B-Man, I hurriedly squeezed in an hour of spinning while watching Starsky and Hutch.

It was fun enough and I was glad to get a workout in. BUT beyond 5 or 10 minutes of light rain, the green blob on the radar and the weatherman's predictions never really materialized. In the end I felt as used as a "oh baby I deleted that video of us ages ago" girlfriend and was left (real) rideless on the day. CURSE YOU VILE WEATHERMAN!! I SPIT ON YOU AND YOUR SIDE SHOW MAGIC!! OK, OK, I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed, no worries, There's always tomorrow. Or the next day, right?

I'm still sort shocked at how fast my jobless days go. I work 400% harder now than I did two weeks ago. I still miss my chickies, but not the bullshit or the chimp work. In a years time I might be missing a f*cking pay check, but for now I'm enjoying every second that I don't have to answer to someone.

I'm hoping to ease through the week and then pull off a 4+ hour ride on the weekend. Hope it happens, my taint is not callused enough.

Later.

p.s. I have this strange "Jump the Shark" feeling about my blog. I might have to ease up. OR it might just be gas. Who knows?

The Computer Age & Road Rule 19b.

The way the day started out I didn't see myself getting a ride in today. I did see/feel cold(er) temps, wind, and me sitting around waiting for the Comcast dude to come fix our overpriced, under used, completely suck sounding digital phone service. I pretty much blew all morning waiting for the dude and waiting for him to fix the phone. So there would be no time for riding and I would be fetching B-Man at 1:00. Oh well.

B-Man and I did go to Pro Bikes to hang out for a bit and have LBoH double check my stem install to make sure there would be no steerer tube impalement in my future. I was assured there would have been no impalement, but I that I did honk down way too much on the stems bolts.

Picked up a new computer while I was there. So at least 2 of my 3 bikes have a working computer now, since I FINALLY got the Campeon's computer going earlier in the day. I can easily live without a heart rate monitor, but I HAVE to have a computer on my bike. I don't need to know time, distance, speed. But I WANT to know it. So $20 for new computer was worth it.

As the day went on the wind seemed to die down a bit, the sun made an appearance, and I found myself doing some time frame math to see if I could squeeze my road loop in after Wifey came home and still be back by dark. My math skills are shit, but today they were spot on and I was able to chamois up, layer up and get a nice 31 mile loop in.

The ride was excellent, but I encountered Road Rule 19b (Cars Will Be Bike Magnets In Piss Poor Situations). It seemed like EVERY time that found myself in a hairy corner or in a tight section of road where I need some extra room, a freaking car or six was coming. The worst was on one of my final climbs where I need room to swing out and take some momentum into a right hand up hill. A freaking Corvette was behind me, wouldn't pass and I had to take a different line than I usually do. The result was no momentum, not being able to get in the right gear quick enough, and watching Mr. Small Dick-Mid Life Crisis-Corvette Driver gun it up the hill, while I did a U turn to go back to the bottom and start over again.

I guess I'll take it, deal with it, etc., 'cause it was a chilly but sunny and perfect late afternoon and evening on the bike. I can feel "real ride" fitness coming around nicely and I'm stoked that the season is getting closer. Anxious for some dirt, but I'll take what I can get, when I can get it.

Later.

Lacking

As you will note, I did NOT do a 5 hour race today. Freaking SNOW in Virginia this week f*cked that up. Oh well, I did have a good week in the saddle, entering double digits of saddle time for the first time since last fall.

I can't bitch too much about missing the race, I may have been setting myself up for a motivational let down if I HAD done the race and sucked it up like a $5 hooker during a two for one special. I know I told myself that I would just be using the race for training, but suck is suck. So I guess I avoided that and now have time to build a little more fitness and make a return trip to VA on April 4th. Of course I might just say screw it and use the time to get some big ass mileage in for the Bakers Doz.

Today was lacking on many levels. One level is that I didn't get dressed/leave the house until almost 4 P.M. today. I could have got a road spin in but just felt like chilling today. So I did some mag work, laid about, and worked on my Dos Niner a bit.

By "working on my Dos Niner", I mean that I put my new 100mm Ritchey Stem on, but now need to go to Pro Bikes for some smaller spacers so shit fits tight. I'll probably have them double check stuff too. I tend to f*ck a lot of shit up and terms like "catastrophic failure" get bantered about. Better safe than impaled on a steerer tube at the bottom of a descent. Just sitting on the Dos in the Stankment the 100mm felt good. I think using the 120 had me WAY too freaking stretched out, and my 37 year old back has had enough of that. Only a long ride will let me knw for sure.

I'm still lacking a computer/heart rate monitor that work all the time. Bloody hell! Neither one works proper. Grrrrr!

I had soft rear tire in the Dos. Not sure what that was all about. When does this Stan's stuff work? Not flat, but real freaking soft. I pumped it up to 35 p.s.i and it seems to be holding, I'll check again later. Pardon my ignorance, but it's my first year with Stan's and I get a bit nervous. Sorry.

Later.

38 + 2:25 + .76 + 20% = FUN!

Yesterday's 30 yard ride in the hub sucking mud had me pretty geeked for some REAL saddle time today. Sure it would be on the road (boo!) and not all that long (2:25) but it would be part of a pretty perfect Saturday.

First I have to say that I find it hard to believe that just a few days ago my fingers were frozen solid and I once again ended my ride with frozen bottles. Today I was out in shorts and a jersey at 10:30 a.m.! Weather is so f*cked this time of year, but I'll take what I can get. I would have been nice to have put in a nice 4 hour ride, but jumping right from a 4 or 6 hour "trainer" week to a "REAL" double digit big ass week probably wouldn't be so wise.

I settled (sort of) for 38+ miles and 2:25 in the saddle out on the road today. Not all that long, but I hit plenty of climbing to make the legs hurt, and finished with a BIG ass climb up Turner Valley Road, even though I would ride right past the Xb to do it. It's just that I I wanted to FEEL that climb again, I wanted to feel it in my nuggets. It's a steep one, and since I'll be doing plenty of climbing this season, I figured why not start now?

Here's the final .76 mile of a climb...

Drunk Dutchmen

You know when you see the Tour, Giro. or other races with their big ass mountain stages and you see a racer like Contador "dancing on the pedals" up a 20% grade whilst a drunk Dutch dude runs along side him shouting in his face. That's JUST how I climbed today. Err, well not like Contador, I was actually talking about the Drunk Dutchman. But that was OK with me, since I FELT like I was climbing pretty darn OK today.

The Mantra

That whole Dutchman thing also provided me with a pretty sweet "mantra" for my climbs. Not sure if you ever heard the song "5-4 Vocal" by Pavement. It's an alternate version on the Crooked Rain re-issue. Anyway there's a part were S.M. is screaming about a Dutchman. That lyric was my climbing mantra today. Thanks S.M.!



It drives many a person insane, but since I already reside in that part of sanity, I love it!

Check out the pic below... I thought it was sort of sad. Do you think they might get a better engineer involved in this one?

It took them until last spring to fix it the first time. I guess I should expect some orange barrels real soon. Oh well. So I put in my road time, got in some good climbing and then came home and "cross trained" by working in the yard for almost 2 hours removing all the shit that accumulated over the late fall and winter. I was so freaking spent my the end of my day, that I had to do this blog post in shifts! HA!

Here's a shot of one of my fave climbs.
It's not the hardest, but it IS hard.

I call it Hail Marry Hill since when you FINALLY come around the last switchback of the climb there in a Mother House for some Nuns. I feel required via my instilled Catholic Guilt™ to lay down a Hail Marry when I FINALLY hit the top and get my breath back. Plus I figure that if in the next mile I get smacked down by a semi I'm good to go with the Big Guy. ;) (Yeah right!!)

Lastly there's this pic....

The rest of the evening has been spent with my two fave peeps (Wifey and B-Man), eating some Mexican food I cooked up and drinking a few good beers. Time to watch iCarly with B-Man.

Later.

Born of Frustration

OK, I went and titled this post "Born of Frustration" NOW I have that James song on my mind. Oh well at least I got the name "Sonja Gupta" out of my head. Annnnyway, the point of the title is that today was sort of frustrating. Read on...

The morning had me in a design funk. Couldn't make shit happen. Did what I could and did it pretty darn OK, then I went into House Husband Mode. I'll spare you all the details other than I got shit done, all whilst being pantsless and wearing a naughty French maid outfit. I'm not gonna lie to you, it was hot. But enough was enough, I needed to ride.

I got the Big Mama top side, loaded on the xB and headed to Boyce. I hoped for the best and got the worst. I started on some normally dry trails, but within 100 yards knew that the trails were in too piss pour of a condition to keep on. I'm no I.M.B.A. zealot but I know when shit is not proper and more importantly to me NOT FUN!

The bike gained 15 pounds of mud, leaves, sticks, and animal waste in about a half mile. I made the executive decision- ABORT!

I was disappointed that the temps were finally warm enough to ride the Big Mama WITHOUT 5 layers of clothing on, but I should have known better. Serves me right for trying to avoid the wind out on the road today. I should have just grown a set and did a road loop. You live. You learn.. YOU GO SHOE SHOPPING!!

OK, how gay did that sound? Well, I don't care, I figured since I hauled my spandex nut hugged ass the whole way out to M'ville, I was gonna salvage it with the purchase of a new pair of Vans. So I stopped by the mall and hit the "hipster shoe store". Found the pair I wanted and was told "we only carry whole sizes. Can I interest you in an 11 or a 12?" Inside I was raging! I wanted to take the vulcanized rubber and canvas shoe in my hand and beat this snot faced, tatooed, thinks he's a hipster, but probably listens to Green Day f*ck nut to a bloody pulp with it.

BUT, I just said "no thank", walked out, and thought that THIS is why I hate the mall/dealing with people. I tried to throw some casheesh to the locals, but Mr. Hip 'Cause I Got Me A Tattoo only carries whole sizes! So I give them $45 for some too tight or some too big shoes?? No thanks, there's a thing called the Internet, and I can go online and order up the EXACT pair I want, you know the Vans I'm talking about- the ones that say "bad mother f*cker" along the soles. OK, there is no such shoe, but there SHOULD be, and there will be.

Oh well, when it rains poop, it pours poop. It was still a great day. Warm temps, bunch o'shit got done, hanging with the B-Man, and now I get to have a couple beers. Not to mention Wifey will be home tonight and that will make for a happy B-Man and a happy me.

Hope to get a llllong road ride in tomorrow. I need MORE suffering. My tain't aint seen enough. ;)

Until then I gotz shit to think about...

Classic black or new school plaid? After all, plaid is the new argyle. You heard it here first.

Time for food.

Later.