Happy New Year

Just 'cause people (and me) are freaks.

Happy New Year. Thanks for a good one.

Later.

Rick, The Black Cat, Undies and Print

As soon as I posted yesterday's blog about my new swank Endura jacket I knew that at least ONE of my friends would have something to say about how I bought a jacket to ride in shit conditions, yet I rarely ride in shit conditions (shit being cold and snow). Well, Rick was the winner with his comment. SO you KNOW I HAD to ride out in the snow and ice today just to save some face.

FREAKING RICK!

I spent 20 minutes stuffing myself into various layers of supposed cold weather gear that included, amongst other things: lobster mittens, the WarmFront (which rocked!) and some vintage Lake winter boots that still sport the toe funk of Andrew Freye. I was warm, I was stoked to ride outside, it faded fast.

I figured a couple hours on the rail trail would be just fine, as long as it hadn't iced up from various amounts of dog walkers and joggers. I was happy to see that it hadn't, and the ride started off well. The Mamasita was plowing through the snow, Lemmy was jamming in my ears, and I was glad to be out.


A mile or so in, I saw a black cat cross in front of me. Shit! But then it turned back. I thought "oh hell yeah, you better run..." What I think really happened was it crossed once- BAD LUCK! Then it turned and crossed again- MORE bad luck!!

The whole bad luck thing didn't register until I realized at some point that I was now riding in the ruts of an ATV that had been on the trail (for some freaking reason!!). The snow was pretty loose, so I really didn't care, wait- WHAM!!!!!! Down like a ton of bricks, right on my ass on some rutted ice. F*CK!

OK, OK, the bike still works, laugh it off, get going. OK, stay off to the left, out of the tracks. Good, good. OK, I'm running out of fresh snow to ride on, time to head back. Just be careful... WHAM!!! DOWN AGAIN! F*CK! Now I am LESS than happy. I start to think of Rick and his taunts of not riding in the snow. I now think "Who cares?? I should have just stayed in the Stankment®! At least I wouldn't feel like I got beat up with a ice covered baseball bat!"

Again, the bike is good, I'm good, get going and get it done. Reset the "Ultimate Motorhead" play list on the iPod and get going. Ride, ride, ride WHAM!!! DOWN AGAIN!!

THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!! I now think "This is SOOOOOOO not worth it!" Cold I can take, snow I can take, rain I can take, but ice can go have sex with itself. I hereby swear off ice and snow. I'd rather Jazzercise or something.

I once again pick my ass up off the snow and ice, and continue on. I creep and crawl back to the xB. As I turn off the trail into the lot I see a paint bucket, look down as I pass and THERE THEY WERE....

UNDIES!! ANOTHER FREAKING PAIR OF UNDIES!! On the next to last day of the year, and most likely the last outdoor ride for me until the new year!!! To top it off (and be glad I edited the left half of the pick) they were, how should I put this?.... "shat in?" I almost puked. But not before I took a freaking picture! LOL!

I guess that made the ride worthwhile. Or at least funny (to me).

This pic is actually a still from a 5 minute long video rant against Rick.

Eyes with anger and venom.

In the end I learned some things... Start hating Rick. Don't ride in ice and snow without studded tires, and start urging Wifey to transfer South (or Southwest preferably!).

I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy being outside. I'd also be lying if I said that I'm glad I went. There are enough days without ice to ride, and not enough days WITH ice for me to want to spend cash on studded tires. The crisp air was nice to be in, but I think I'll just pull out my xc skis or hiking boots next time.

All that snow and ice angst, didn't last long. 'Cause when I got home a proof of XXC #5 in printed form was in the mail basket.

I'M STOKED!!!! I fully believe that digital is the future of publishing, and plan to continue publishing the eMag for sometime, but I also want to offer the mag in printed form for folks (as well as myself). Finally I found a way by having it printed "on demand". Saves me from investing a ton of cash, it saves some trees, by eliminating paper waste if folks don't buy it, and allows me to offer the best of both worlds to my readers.

I did this just for shits and giggle and wasn't going to start offering a printed version to the public until #6, but WTF?, I was super happy with the way the mag turned out, so it's out there. I did have to cut out the article about the Crocodile Trophy (in order to keep the cost down), but in the end produced a 50+ page mag that will be available for $13.50. Until January 1, you can actually score it for $10.90. I know it's not cheap, but it IS cheaper than I could charge if I would have had 300 mags printed at a printer and PRAYED that enough people bought it to break even and not leave me with a stack of unread, un-purchased mags. I doubt I could charge under $15 to print and mail on my own without having the mag be cover to cover advertising. It's also on par with some other semi quarterly mags that I love and respect.

This way the only time the mag is printed is when someone wants a printed copy. And if you want the digital, you can always get it at xxcmag.com for $2.99. Right now you can only buy the mag if you live in the U.S., Canada, or the UK, but that could change in the near future. I'm also sorting out a way to ship internationally sooner on my own, as well as offering the mag to shops to sell. Just need to figure all that out.

Despite my bumps and bruise and hatred of all things ice and snow, it was a fun and good day, and a nice way to (almost) end the year. Tune in tomorrow as I will post the Soiled Chamois "Year In Undies" Photo Annual. (just kidding, I think.)

Later.

Chill (An AKA Post)

I had some grand ride plans today. By "grand" I mean I was going to go outside for a ride. But new snow, B-Man entertaining (AKA being a Dad), and a working at home Wifey made taking the time to kit up, drive to, do 2 hours, etc., and be miserable seem dumb. So I did a quick 1+ on the trainer.

I actually like the work out I did today. It combines some big ring, "I think I popped a 'rhoid" stuff, with some weight and core circuit stuff a couple times. NO it's not riding, but workouts like this still make me feel all fuzzy on the inside and sweaty and stinky on the outside. That sort of sounds like a really freaking gross candy bar...

"Mmmm, I love me some ChamoisBarz®, smooth white stink and b.o.
on the outside and vurp-elicious fuzz on the inside..."

After that, B-Man and I went over to ProBikes. I wanted to get a new heart rate monitor to help kill the boredom of the trainer, and maybe look at some cool weather/wet weather jackets. Well as luck would have it Jesus Jason (who is looking very UN Jesus these days with short hair and no beard) gave me the hook up on an old REAL basic model he had around. So with money saved there, I shopped guilt free for a jacket.

As luck would have it ProBikes is an Endura dealer and I love me some Endura gear. Upon searching the racks I found one jacket that came in at around $300 (no thanks) and a few others, but then I saw the Windchill..... OMG! I fell in love with the fit and it's features.

It's TITZ! First it fits more like a heavyweight water/wind proof jersey than a jacket, it looks fine and has a bunch of nifty features that I dig. BTW I got the red, cause I dig red.

1. Chest pocket, rubber iPod earphone hole and tethered eye glasses wipe inside.
2. Three rear pockets and one zipper pocket.
3. Zipper underarm vents.
4. It looks sweet.
5. It's Endura.

All the better- since I can't seem to shake the need to race (AKA pay large amounts of cash to completely destroy myself on the bike and come in mid pack or worse, usually worse) in 2010 (along with xxxmag.com, AKA me!) I will be sponsored by ProBikes again, and thus got a "good face discount" AKA they knock cash off, and make high zoot, titzy as all get out stuff affordable to a schlep like me. Thanks PB.

As a bonus, B-Man and I got to see/hear Timmy (AKA Little Ball of Hair) blow a Nokian Studded tire off a rim while seating it like 2 or 3 times (Cursed Bontrager wheel!), and enjoyed temporary hearing loss, Tim gritting his teeth to not curse in front of B-Man (thanks Tim) and seeing Stans goo fly over the work area like it was the set of a gay porn. Yikes. After the 3rd try, dude got it though. Or at least I think he did... we got the hell out of there while we still had hearing and faces sans spooge.

All in all, a good day. Got a work out in and got to spend time in the bike shop with my boy and some friends. NOT to mention I got me a sweet ass jacket.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the FYI post which will more than likely be followed by some GFY comments.

Later.

Today, Tomorrow... Etc.,

More snow came today and YES I regretted not going for my ride outside yesterday! But I did drag my ass into the Stankment® for an hour + of Foals/Superchunk BIG ring intervals.

I THOUGHT about going to the shop to buy a new HR monitor today. And I THOUGHT about doing a snowy rail trail ride, and I THOUGHT about going to get my XC skis waxed, and I THOUGHT about the 4,999,999 other places I would rather live than PA in the winter, BUT that is about all I did.

OK, that's a lie, I DID communicate more with Champion System about the XXC kits and get some more fine tuning done on them. I should be able to get them out to them and on proof soon. Or at LEAST by the end of the week. The hard part will be how to coordinate any SELLING of said kits. Hmmm.

I've actually been TOTALLY sucked in to Jill's (Up In Alaska) blog of late and maybe JUST maybe will tighten up the bollocks and get out in the snow tomorrow. OR I will just snuggle up with a case of Sierra Nevada and wait for spring. Both are good choices IMHO.

Time to chill and prepare for my favorite part of winter... SLEEPING.

Later.

L.A.Z.Y.

Today brought sun and temps in the low forties to WPA.

I didn't leave the house.

OK, that's wrong I walked to the front walk to get the paper and back inside. I just had no mojo. So I did all I could to just embrace the enui... I built some Legos with B-Man, laid on the couch, played video games, stared at the computer, and read some.

I did manage to get a blog post up post on XXC and pack up some shirts and stickers that need sent out on Monday. So at least I wasn't a COMPLETE waste of human space.

Today was the sort of day that I will regret not taking advantage of in a day or two, and is yet another obvious sign of what prevents me from excelling on the bike. Oh well. A mental suck Sunday can only look Monday look better I suppose.

Later.

The Day After

Spent most of the morning drinking a pot of coffee. Spent the other half coming down from said coffee high, wallowing in a winter funk, and staring at (for whatever reason) a documentary on the Military Channel (I can't believe there IS such a thing) about the forming of the League Of Nations after the First Wold War. Damn the morning sucked. Of course I feel the urge to now grow a mustache like Georges Clemenceau.


After some extended wallowing, I realized the roads were clear of snow after yesterday's rains, the temps were above freezing and my need to get out on the bike and blow the Christmas stink off me was at an all time high.

It was great to be out and get the Endocannabinoids firing and pumped. Temps stayed in the high 30s, but the sun was out for most of the ride and made for a nice day in the saddle. The ride was only about 2:20 long, but it beat the trainer or watching anymore of the Military Channel.

It was nice to be back to SOME form of my normal Saturday routine (drink coffee, poop, eat, poop, drink coffee, chamois up and ride. Now it's time to chill with another big mug of green tea and some Mexican food. Gotta say 2 days of "traditional" American foods (ham, turkey, etc.,) has left me SUPER hungry for my normal spicy goodness.

Later.

Top Stuff #2

We continue on...

Best Race Moment: Mohican 100. 20 something miles in, I lost the bite valve on my CamelBack, I was soaked with water, and stuck behind a train of guys in the single track going slow enough to have full on conversations. BUT then I hit some double track and road, and started to make some serious time. Felt strong the rest of the way, realized I hate hydration packs, and managed to finish in 9:43.

Most Embarrassing Race Moments: There were many. WAY too many to really list. This blog is sort of a collection of embarrassing mountain bike race moments. BUT in 2010, I think these were some of them (in no particular order)... The 101. I was feeling super strong for the first 50 miles. Riding with Bike & Bacon Boy and dragging his ass up the mountains. Then fell apart after Aid #3. The strong feeling was SOOOO gone. I got worse, and worse... I then proceeded to get passed by a collection of Clydesdale's, and helmetless campers on Huffy's. I think at one point I was passed by a 280 pound dude, wearing baggies, on a down hill bike going UP hill. I just wanted to lay down in the middle of the road and wait for the millions of central PA rattlesnakes to come feast on my bonked, dehydrated ass.

The SM100. I bonked HARD, SUPER HARD... AGAIN!! As I walked up one of the final climbs a racer passed me, asked if I was OK. I grunted out a "yes", then let out a guttural dry heave of acidic stomach juice that echoed across the mountain.
At this point race winner Jeremiah Bishop was already across the line, cleaned up and on his way home with his prize money. I told myself this would be my last race. I lie to myself A LOT. It helps.

Most Embarrassing Ride Moment: Taking Aaron and Don on a sweet 40 mile loop in the mountains and you guessed it.... BONKING with 10 miles to go. I was NOT prepared for the amount of power and energy sucking mud we faced that day. I was out of water and out of food as we hit the final 3+ miles of climbing. I once again thought about laying down in the middle of the road. But this time I prayed for that truck of hunters hopped up on Natty' Light that drove by me earlier would drive back up the hill and crush me. I bonked my OWN FREAKING LOOP! BUT this ride qualifies for the next category below...

Best Ride Moment: The best rides of the year seemed to bookend the season. One ride was with Bradley, Don and Aaron in the spring rain and mud of the mountains. I showed them around, they loved the loop and we got a killer 30+ mile loop in. The 2nd best ride was in the fall with Don and Aaron (see above). It was still an incredible day in the saddle and one of the last truly great days in the saddle of the year. The loop was also pushed to 40 miles with even more climbing. 3rd runner up is the ride I did solo in the mountain to put together the 40 mile loop. The weather was great, I had a blast and dug it the most.

Best Non Ride Thing: Took a buy out from the paper, quit my job and started a magazine. I've never worked harder, made so little cash, and been so happy all at the same time. I love everything about putting the mag out. The hardest and most stressful part was moving to pay per downloads. BUT I needed to. I enjoy doing the mag too much for it to just be a hobby. I want it to be my work. For a long time! You all have been supportive and pushed me to try to make each issue better than the last. I'm also very lucky to have a loving and supportive wife and son that don't mind that I'm not the primary income in the family, and dig what I'm doing. They're the best. PERIOD.

There are more things I'll touch on in the coming days, but I sort of hope that on Christmas no one is sitting around reading the dross I write. For as much as I blather on about Christmas and how I dislike it, I have to say they usually end up pretty damn cool. I have a great and loving family that I love, a generous extended family and of course B-Man to make it alllll worth while. So don't listen to me. Have a great Christmas and get ready for 2010. It's gonna rock.

Speaking of ROCK! B-Man got his first pair of jeans (that he wanted to wear) and a COOL as F Motorhead T (just like mine) from me and Wifey. He was MORE than a little stoked. :)))))))

Later.

Top Stuff #1

In no particular order, here are some of my fave things and products the past year. Some are not NEW, but new to ME in 2009.

PRODUCT: Stans No Tubes (rims and tubeless set up). Sweet Jesus! This was the best investment I made in the past few years. I heard all sorts of horror stories about latex and money shots of Stan Goo to the face, and tires blowing off rims, etc., etc., IMO... BALLZ! The key is setting them up right. THAT is why I don't do it myself. My buddy/mechanic/wrench/Pro Bikes teammate and shop manager Tim (formerly LBoH) does it for me and does it right. The second key is keeping up on adding goo. Every couple months is best. My results? ONE SEASON on Stans and one flat due to stale goo. See Stan. Run to him. Looove him.

RACE: My best race was Mohican. My favorite race, despite thinking I would die out on the trail towards the end due to sucking and bonk, was the Shenandoah 100. A VERY close second was the Lumberjack. If the LJ100 was 2 laps instead of 4 it would have one. Flowing single track, no road, all in the woods of Michigan... GREAT STUFF! But 4 laps was a mental kick in the junk.

FAVORITE PRE RACE MOVIE: Toss up between Rambo II and Top Gun. Both were viewed with my buddy Brad, both were hilarious to watch and great to take the mind off a big race. A close Third was that Latino soap opera we watched.

BEST HOTEL EXPERIENCE: Mohican. Me, Brad, Don, Aaron, and a smuggled in SteveO. Lots of bikes, lots of farts (me and Brad) in the room, and a lot of fun. A close second was sharing a room with Brad and K-Aho-Schmalz before the Bakers Dozen. Boogers on the wall (not ours), bad whole wheat pizza, and Top Gun. What else is there?

BIKE OF THE YEAR: I went through three bikes this year. The Big Mama, the Mamasita and the Dos Niner. The Big Mama rocked and rolled over EVERYTHING, but didn't take me up the mountains like I hoped. The Mamasita stepped in and became my everyday "do everything" bike. In fact I ride my Mamasita for EVERYTHING. I have not been outside on my road bike since August. All training miles have been on the the Mama. BUT all races, fun rides and BIG rides are reserved for my Dos Niner. That bike treats me so freaking well. Stans Wheels, XTR crank, Fox fork,... It's my fave (for now). I am of course lusting the new Salsa Ti El Mariachi, but it remains to be seen whether I can afford her. I I've always thought that a Ti 29er would be the ballz.

This is all I have right now, but I'm sure I'll think of more over the holidays. Hope you all have a good one. Me? I have date with family on the C'Mas Eve, and C'Mas day, a turkey and a few to many pints of holiday cheer to get my two most hated days of the year over with.

Later.

I'm Your Daddy

Because hacking up lung butter for a week is just NOT enough!

Spent the day yesterday Christmas shopping AND suffering from intestinal ISSUE of the porcelain thrown squatting persuasion. The two sort of go hand in hand for me. It's not that I don't love buying friends and family stuff. I actually really dig it. I hate the pressure. "What if they bought them that? Did I spend enough? Is this cheezy? Will they like it? He'll never watch this, why am I buying it??" All that stuff.

If it were up to to me, I would say NO CHRISTMAS GIFTS! BUT I will randomly gift you during the year. BUT it's not, so I, like many last minute people with heads firmly stuck up their asses and not realizing Christmas is in like a few days, wen out shopping and clenching my buttocks to prevent the tail end of the current "ick" that my unit (Wifey, B-Man and I) are dealing with.

Anyway I got it all done, felt good about most of it, and am looking forward to spending some time with my unit and my extended unit this week. I am making a promise to myself just to ENJOY it. Let shit roll of my back and embrace the season enough for 48 hours to not put my head in a microwave. (see the point of that being that I really could not cause my head any harm, but the THREAT that I could melt my well gelled hair and cranium down is sufficiently over dramatic to prove a "look how miserable I am" way. Get it?

Well, the "ick", holiday shopping and intestinal distress be damned, I had room for more shit yesterday!...

My $1,300 tooth was feeling all jacked up, and I looked at it and saw that it was moving near the gum. WTF??? PANIC!!! Did I just spend $1,300 on ONE tooth to have it fall out?? OMG! 20 hours of panic later, it was just the temporay crown. Dear Lord, they REALLY should explain shit to you. I mean how did I know that under that thing that LOOKED like a real tooth was a metal post that isn't going anywhere soon. Damn! So a sleepless night, thoughts of burning 1,300 dollar bills and 2 bags under my eyes later, a new crown is on, and all is good, in a mush mouth sort of way. BUTTTTT it is fixed and I can get back to my somewhat normal self.

_____________________________________

Even with the crown (I can call it that now that I know that's what it was) flapping in the wind, I climbed on the trainer for an hour of nut dropper hill climbs, Weezer and Motorhead. It felt goood. Felt even better to think about Southern Cross coming up. Felt even better to get a little package of NUE swag in the mail...

Nice to get recognized for dragging my limping, bonked ass through 401 miles of hundies this year, and to earn the most expensive wind jacket ever made. Kenda and Ergon also through some swag in the pot too. Although the Kenda tires were 26ers. I guess I will give them to the last 26" wheeled person I know, who I won't mention by name. OK, it's Brad.

Not sure I have 401 miles of NUE in me in 2010, but I got a lot of mile in the back of mind. Can't wait!

_____________________________________

I love the fact that if you give a kindergartner who is learning to write, access to electrical tape and a Sharpie Maker you end up with cool, sweet, amazing and surreal messages all over the house.

Sweet!

Time to go, I'm allowed to eat now, and B. should be home from learning how to shred guitar any minute now.

Later.

5 + 15 = 20. Not to be confused with 2 + 2 =5.

P.S. I went back to the drawing board on some jersey ideas for XXC. Thoughts... I had a complete black/silver, but then Aaron suggested adding some red. I think he might be right.

Too Much (or not enough?) Time

These days I'm never sure if I have too much time or not enough. TOO much time to think about what I want to do this coming season. Hell, race #1 is only a few weeks away! (DEAR GOD!!). Last year was all about he hundies. I did Mohican, Lumberjack, The 101 and the SM100. I love the 100 mile races. I want to do more. But now that my blood clot is gone I can't get the idea of doing another Solo out of my mind. And what better place to DO a Solo than at Nationals. Which JUST happen to be 1.5 hours away from XXC World HQ (AKA my house). I of course would like to do the Leesburg Bakers Dozen again too, except this year race it with a little more focus. Last year I just raced until I hit 100 miles and bailed.

I suffered last season. I suffered a lot. I thought that with no real job I would have mad time to train and get fitter. It ended up that I didn't have as much time as I thought and I got slower. Much slower. The blood clot thing f*cked with my head, having younger, faster friends, made me feel old fat and slow. And my race results showed it. I wasn't even racing for mid pack (my norm) anymore, I was racing to just finish the damn thing with some dignity (fail).

So here we are approaching Christmas. I'm 12 pounds over my normal race weight, and have a race on January 9th. I have been feeling fit on the bike, but of course want to slim down and try to get mentally back on mid pack track by the time the REAL season rolls around. Not easy for someone with a history of obesity (but it's been a while), depression, and a pension for sucking.

When last season ended, you may have noticed on the blog I was pretty content to say "f*ck it, my days of racing are done, time to just ride." BUT I just can't. I've never won anything in my racing career. I had two 3rd place finishes (a 6 & a 12 hour), a 2nd (12 hour, but paid out NOTHING), and 2nd place overall in the MASS Endurance series a few years ago behind The Vegan. My failures far outweigh my accomplishments, but yet as the new year approaches I found myself drawn to want to keep racing. WTF??

I never got into endurance racing to win or win stuff. I got into it because it was WAY more than just trying to win. It's seeing new places, riding new trails, meeting new friends and pushing yourself mentally and physically. I lost sight of that in 2009. I want to get it back in 2010. I will get it back. It won't come at Southern Cross, or even in the spring, but it will come. I know it will.

I have no thoughts about "competing," just to get some fitness, and some dignity back and MAYBE resume my place in the middle of the mid pack, instead of the tail end of the mid pack. Too much time has me thinking of what races I will race to accomplish these goals. What races will I race? Will I get my fitness back to where I want? Who knows? But it will be damn fun trying.

As far as not enough time, that has more to do with Christmas (NOT a fan). I have NO gift bought yet and only a few days to get them. Money is of course tight and I have my mind going a million different places these days. But again, I know it will get done, and be cool. Just need to chill.

I have some cool things in the works. I continue to work on a XXC Mag race kit for 2009 (I mean 2010, thank Aaron!) and there JUST MIGHT be a printed version of #5 released soon, BUT I have to see some proofs first. It may or may not happen. I'm jazzed for the coming year, for racing, the mag and my family. I'm jazzed to try to get the old me back, but of course damn scared I won't find it.

Time to split. I'm feeling a bit Weez tonight.

Later.

A Trip To Maui Ruined

Well the promised snow came, and with it came my want to move as far away from winter cold as I can get. Since that won't be happening anytime soon, I figured the next best thing is heading to Maui, Hawaii via the Global Ride training DVDs I got late last winter.

I headed to the Stankment® and patched up the TV with some shit portable DVD player we got a couple years ago, and cued up Maui Rollers. A nice steady climb workout. After spinning through the boring warm up photo montage, the work out started. I was feeling good, and tolerating the music in the DVD so as to hear the "coach."

Another 5 minutes go by and the friggin' DVD player starts shitting the bed, and not working. POS! So my trip climb the hills of Maui didn't work out so well, but I had a back up plan. I call it.... LEMMY!

I reached over, shut the DVD off, got iPodious, turned up the volume and started the Ultimate Motorhead Mix. Lemmy guided me through the Soiled Chamois Productions "White Oak Rollers" workout.

Anytime I post about riding the trainer and my hatred of winter it is met with comments about how I should embrace winter, ski, get outside, etc., etc., and my reply is No. I do those things sometimes, but really hate the cold, the wet, and the ice. I hate layering, feeling like stuffed sausage, etc., Some days I do it, but I hate it. I've hated it for 38 years. It will not change. Don't get me wrong, I don't LIKE riding the trainer. I just like it more than being cold and wet. It doesn't take much to suck as much as me.

Speaking of Motorhead, Wifey and I got B-Man a cool ass freaking Christmas gift, but I don't want to say anymore, because telling the www. before Santa can bring it would creep me out. So you'll have to wait until next Friday to see it. It's just something little, but it rocks and dude is gonna freak.

B-Man was full of great lines and questions this past week. I wish I could remember them all. Some of my favorites were... "I know babies grow in girls bellies, but where do they come out? Do they come out of their butts?" I said "sort of" then attempted to explain but all I got out was "well you know how you have a penis, girls have..." Then giggling about the word penis and him telling me I should call them "nuggets" ensued. Then me arguing that we've called it a penis his whole life, and I'm not gonna stop now, because that's what it is. Of course there was part of me that was happy to not have to introduce the word vagina into his vocabulary yet. Another fave was "Dude we're out of yogurt tubes! You just left an empty box in the fridge, I'm like 5 years old, you're supposed to take care of me!"

Then of course there was our 10 minute conversation about what exactly Tiger Woods did (awkward!). I left it at "when you get married you promise to only cuddle and kiss the girl your marry. Tiger was cuddling a LOT of girls and hurt his wife's feelings a LOT. Serves me right for turning on the news, something I limit to about once or twice a year.

OK, the snow is shoveled, a work out is done, and a blog posted. Time for an Eddy Fitz or two.

Later.

My Bad

My lack of posts is my bad. I thought I would save you the grief of reading about my lung butter, riding the trainer and dreading the upcoming f*cking holiday.

The week was madness, with pulling Week Two as Solo Dad. Pretty OK, but I have to tip a cap to all the single parents out there. God bless you.

I did get out (lung butter be damned!!) for a quick 10 mile loop of dirt today. I was nice to be out, and nice to ride dirt, even if it WAS short and on some half frozen, power sucking leaves and dirt. I'll take it. Took a pic or two. If they turned out and I have the care, I'll post em up later.

Winter single track before the snow.

Well, Wifey is due home any second now from B'More and a week of dropping .gov law knowledge on some SS peeps, and my "cockles" (ewww) are in a lather. Hold on there pardner, I'm talkin' lather to have her "mom skills" back in the house before B-Man ends up and idiot like me. LATER we can worry about the other stuff.

Later.

Forgetting To Post Is A Bad Sign...

Any sort of riding was out today as I spent my a.m. once again in the dentist chair getting my tooth worked on. 1 hour or so later I walk out with a temporary crown. Holy uncomfortable! Since it's my bottom front tooth my tongue rubs the lump of dental cement constantly and it make me feel like I have a pierced tongue or something. Next thing you know people will be asking me to... oh never mind. I supposed I'll get used to it. Or not.

Did a blog post here and there today, and am now trying to focus on the next issue of XXC set for sometime in February or early March. There are a couple features hanging out there, but I'm in the process of putting together some possible races that are coming up. Anyone doing the Pisgah 36? That would make for some killer content. Too ballzy for me, but I'm sure someone has big enough ones to do it. I also have some wheels in motion to bring a print version of XXC to those who wish for it on the cheap(ish) side, yet still keep doing the eZine too, thus being able to continue to reach globally. LOL!

I wrote the above bit earlier tonight, got caught up with B-Man's guitar lesson, talking with Wifey in B'More and other Mr. Mom/Dad type stuff. Then forgot to publish. I guess that is a sign of how killer this post is, was, etc., etc.,

Hope to get a workout in tomorrow, so as not to turn into a smashed potato with cheese.

Later.

Adaptive Workouts For The Sick

The illness that came on me Friday night into Saturday is still lingering around a bit. Nothing full blown, just enough of a burning cough and lung issue to make things annoying. Since it's a respiratory issue I chose not to ride outside today. Sucked too, because it was nice Western PA day... meaning it was bright gray and damp, BUT not all that cold, so that would have been a bonus.

Still I chose just to get sweat on in the Stankment and do a Moz: Royal Albert Interval Spin. A M.R.A.I.S. is sort of touched on briefly, but not really, in Joe Friel's Mountain Biker's Training Bible and is basically just has one keeping a high cadence for the length of the song, then shifting to the next gear, etc., etc., Then back to the top, etc., etc., The workout is guaranteed to most likely not do anything for your other than get your hear rate up, and a sweat on. But some days when the lungs aren't really cooperating, THAT is enough.

While I think I could have done a real workout and ride no problem, why make things worse? I don't want this to be one of those issues that lingers on, I just want to kick its ass and be done with it. Then move on with some training (junk miles) and racing (organized riding).

Gotta split. B-Man beckons for a soccer match in the living room.

Later.

A Reason For The Season

This week was filled with some late nights, eating poorly, and getting pretty run down, so it was no huge surprise to feel some illness coming on last night. Some coughing, some aching, so bitching and moaning. But hey nothing a little Imperial Stout and spicy sausage stew/soup couldn't cure right? Wrong.

Woke up feeling like shit. Great. After a llllong trip to the post office (holiday season is the WRONG season to go to the USPS) to mail out some XXC swag to this month's contributors and to the kind folks that bought some gear, I sat abut the house thinking of reasons why sitting in front of my computer working on some ideas was better than going for a ride, and convincing myself that I had pneumonia and in no way should ride. Eventually that all passed and I could not resist the temps climbing into the 40s, the bright ass sun, and the lure of suburban park single track. So off to Boyce I went.

Aside from numerous downed trees from this week's strong winter wind the trails were just perfect. Frozen and dry for the most part, with the occasional section of tacky mud. There were a few sections that had a some ice, and needed to be walked, but for the most part it was titz.

The best part was that despite being ill, and despite convincing myself that I've gained like 40 pounds (I refuse to get on the scale, so I really don't know), I felt really strong. Granted I wasn't putting in a 50 mile loop with 8,000 feet of climbing (that will come NEXT month!!!), but for a couple hours on single track after being off the bike pretty much all week, I felt damn good and the Dos Niner felt nice and flickable today. Maybe putting on some muscle, a few layers of fat and taking a rest is what is needed to make a 24+ pound 29er feel flickable??

In any event, I was glad to find the balls to get my ass out the door today, because I was so nice to be in the woods and to ride some single track. Granted now, I'm achy and coughy, but for almost two hours today I felt great!! I'll take what I can get. Often this time of year makes me want to lodge my head in the closest gas oven, but when you can get some quality time in the dirt in amidst all the holiday drudgery, then you truly find a reason in this season.

As an added bonus I came home to find that B-Man and Wifey had the Christmas tree up and the decorating done, and I was saved the embarrassment of having to pretend like I enjoy the holiday season. Thanks!!!!

Quote of the day was from B-Man. "You always smell like bike!"

Later.

What A Week!

This week has been off the charts good and bad and a whole lot of busy!

There was a root canal, and the knowledge that while the tooth is now rooted and canaled, more shit needs done. Let's just say that ONE of my teeth is probably worth more than one of my bikes right now. Wish the f'er just would have fallen out.

All of this week was about getting XXC #5 out, which was tough. Couple things fell through, a couple things got screwed up, and a couple things weren't working right. But in the end a fine issue came together and I'm super stoked. Especially since XXC moved to a pay per download this go around and folks seem to be open to the idea. The day's numbers were pretty good (meaning at least more than ONE person thought it cool!). Plus from the looks of it, folks are picking up some of the free issues whilst they're on the site, so that's cool. Anything to get the word out about how bitchin' what we do is.

I did manage to squeeze in ONE hour of nut dropping trainer time today. NOT my personal pref, but that's about all I had time, or the want for. It was freaking 25 degrees out!! F that! MAYBE tomorrow. But today I was all about just breathing a sigh of relief, getting a sweat on, and chilling.

There is word on the digital street that my friends at Salsa are set to launch a Ti El Mariachi in the near future. I am sick with desire. I recently had a conversation with an uber bohemian endurance racer about which frame is better fore endurance racing- the Dos or the Mamasita. And I reluctantly said that for the hundie type racing the Mamastia MIGHT be better with some improved contact points and wheels (talking of my Mamasita). BUT I DID race the Dos most of this year and it's been my fave bike ever. Hmmm.

Having said ALL that, I still went with the Mamasita due to it's performance on roads and forest roads. But a Ti 29er HT changes EVERYTHING. A Ti soft tail is probably my ultimate enduro bike (see Moots YBB), but a Ti HT comes DAMMMMMMN close. There just might be a big ass mountain bike sale 'round my place in a month or so. Damn you Salsa. Damn you straight to heck.

Sure there will be those who complain and say that it's not handmade, in the U.S., etc... (EDIT: IT WILL BE, SEE COMMENTS!!) But I gotta tell you . I'm OK with that. Because it was designed, tested, engineered, and tested again IN the U.S. by some bike lovin' Pepper heads, So SOMEONE in the U.S. is making some cash or at LEAST putting some passion into designing a boss bike. Custom? No. Well made and designed? I don't doubt.

Keep you ballz peeled to SalsaCycles.com and here for more info on this.

Well, time for some sleep. I was up close to 1 a.m. trying to sort out the web site last night, so, time to chill my ass out and hit the sack.

Later.

Friday Edit II: I can't stop looking at it. It's like cleavage or a hot ass. You know you should look away. But you can't. Dear Lord!!!

As expected

As expected I didn't ride today, tomorrow I can't due to wanting/needing to get XXC out very soon, and Tuesday I will be enduring Root Canal Round II. I guess I could call that "training?"

WIfey is off to Baltimore, me and B-Man are "baching it" and having fun playing soccer in the house. Not happy to have WIfey gone for the next 5 days, but I am proud and happy about all that she does, can do, and puts up with from my slack ass. I will also admit that B-Man is a SUPER easy kid to take care of and we have fun. Which I also have to give credit to Wifey for. Because if he was more like me, he would be a real pain in the rumpbuss (not rhombus) to take care of along.

My goals this week are to get XXC out ASAP, get the teeth shit taking care of, take xtra special care of B-Man, and then start focusing on Southern Cross. Even though my only goal for the race is to finish, have fun, and get some pics for XXC.

Time to read some bed time stories and get some sleep. Gonna be a busy week. But, soon I "base" or at least mucho "stankment" time will be upon me. Giddy.

Later.

It takes time...

It takes time for winter to get to WPA anymore, but it does come. And it came today. Bitch!

Every year I bitch, moan, and ache (literally, it's called arthritis!) my way through the winter asking myself why in the hell we continue to live here?? I keep thinking that this whole global warming thing will really take shape and I'll be riding all year long in shorts (yes, I'm that self absorbed and selfish), and there are hints of that happening, but damn, I think it might be time to just get out of Dodge. You do understand that barring some uber promotion to Wifey, this will never really happen, but as part of Article 5, Section 6 of The Soiled Chamois Manifesto I HAVE to say these things every winter. Sorry.

With a ton of mag work to do, snow showers in the air, and motivation to ride in the snow and cold set at -8 right now, I threw up double birds to the day, pulled an hour on the trainer doing my best to simulate a ball dropping 45 minute climb. A monumental sweat was achieved, cold was avoided and work was then done. If it were not for Wifey asking me to fetch some Merlot, I never would have left the f*cking house, and would have been just fine with that.

The weather looks cold but nice tomorrow, so I MIGHT get out. But Wifey is leaving for the land of crabs and Edgar Allan Poe tomorrow for a gig dropping law knowledge on some .gov type folks, so I of course want some max Unit time. Family unit, not my unit, but of course my unit wouldn't mind... oh shit, too much info again! I really need to stop that!

I inevitably will start riding in the cold and snow. There's no option, but today I just could not do it.Too much on my mind and on my plate to endure the layers of shit that need to be applied before venturing out. It take time... but I will. After all I gotz me a race in a month!! LOL!

I'm inching ever closer to completion of XXC #5. There's an article or two still out there that hasn't come it yet, but unless I can get them soon, I will run the mag as is by Wednesday or Thursday of next week.. Little smaller than last issue, but truthfully the last issue was freakishly long at 80+ pages. I also sit fingers crossed for a certain pho-tog to grant me permission to use a pic, or one article will need to be reworked. Frig.

Oh well, Wifey's got some Merlot, I have some Storm King (thanks Yancy!), and B-Man has a date with an iCarly movie.

Time to go see if I can get my .mp4 of "A Sunday In Hell" off of my old Mac.

Later.

Back On Track

Back on track, but not so back on the bike. Between root canals, car inspections, and trying to wrap up XXC #5, it's been a busy week. I mean BUSY. I kid you not, I NEVER worked this hard when I had a pay check job. NEVER. There was a busy day now and then, but I worked my 8 hours (or close enough) and went home. Now it's pretty much all the time. And that's cool, because I love doing it. I feel like I did when I was 18 and used to draw all the time, and would just stay up late drawing, and working on stuff because It was fun. But this is "funner!"

I also threw caution to the winter wind and got signed up for Southern Cross today. I believe me and Mr. Bradley Schmalzer (on bass guitar!!) will be making the trek to the land of the Dukes. Yeeeeeeehaaawwwww!

Not sure what the hell I'm thinking. I'm a good 10 el-bees over racing weight, hardly ride all week, and sign up to drive 10+ hours, ride 50+ miles and climb almost 8,000 feet. IN JANUARY!!! WTFF?? Yeah, that's right- double f. Take a look at the course, better yet take a look at the friggin' elevation gain!


But it feels good to look forward to something other than Christmas. I don't really look forward to that, other than it being over. So much for my semi-retirement from racing. Just when I think I'm out, something draws me back in to the suffering. Cool.

Well gotta spit, mucho to do, plus in B-Man's words- "It's fun filled Friday!"

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot... Because this blog can NEVER have too many pics of sausages at bike races-

Pic from mtbs.cz

Later.

Witching Hour and My Happy Place

Lately I've been referring to the time between 3:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m as the "Witching Hour." Sadly that's NOT the time when a gaggle of nymphomaniac witches enter my bedroom and seduce me... It's the time when I wake up. EVERY night. It's the time I wake up and fail to fall back to sleep. It's sort of maddening. Been going on for months now. OK, I DO fall back to sleep, but usually not until 6 a.m., and I get up a 6:30. Not fun.

I lay, think, fear, long, regret, cringe, shudder, etc., etc., We've all been there. Last night it was mostly just thinking of things I need to do/want to do. I try to just empty my mind (you would THINK that would be easy given how little I have IN my mind!!) and go to my "happy place." but it doesn't really seem to be working right now. What, you don't have a happy place?

Oh yes, the "happy place"... The place you go when you're trying to fall asleep, a place where you go when there is some complete idiot in front of you at the self checkout lane at Giant Eagle and you're giving it all you've got to not just FREAK out on them. A place where you go when topics turn to religion or politics at family dinner tables. I'm sure you have one, you must! Wanna know what mine is? NO, it's not safely in the bosom of a buxom red head (not that there's anything wrong with that, but that crosses over into fantasy and the whole "devil vs. idle hands" thing).

My place is Gothic Road (317), Crested Butte, Colorado.
Right around Emerald Lake.

It's right about here that the touristy traffic on the forest road starts to slow and/or disappear, the grade keeps getting steeper, you can see how Emerald Lake got it's name. You may or may not even run into some snow on the road, even in July! It's here that you start to get even more giddy about making it up to Trail 401, it's mountain meadows, and waist high wild flowers bordering it's incredible single track.

So why wouldn't I just think of the single track? Well the single track get the blood moving and the mind racing (again with the "idle hands" thing). Nope, it's the slow grind up Gothic, in air so thin that low landers like me wishing for supplemental oxygen, that is the perfect place to be.

Keeping a slow tempo in granny gear, taking in views of mountains that are so huge that you have to tilt your head back to see the top. So perfect and so picturesque you could weep. That's the place. Deep breaths, focused and glad to be alive.

Once to the top and the 401 trail head, you still have some more climbing to do. This time up single track just below tree line in some pine. Eventually you are in an open mountain meadow. This is another place to mentally go. There are mountains in every direction. Single track before you and in behind. The air is chilly, the sun is blindingly bright and except for the sound of the breeze blowing through the few remaining trees above tree line, it is silent. Perfect. It is the place that I would want my ashes to be spread when I die.

I've been lucky enough to make it to C.B. 3 times. The last time was when B-Man was just one year old. At that time I rode with my compact film camera, so all I have now are prints. I really need to get a scanner, or track down the photo discs that I KNOW I had made at least ONE of the times we were there.

So if this is my perfect happy place, why can I not sleep? Maybe it's not so perfect? Maybe lately it's just fueling the sleeplessness? Maybe I fear I won't make it back again? Maybe I regret employment/financial decisions that may prevent it from happening again? Maybe I shudder to think that the next time I experience that meadow it will be when Wifey hikes her then old ass up Gothic Road to spread my ashes!!

Maybe I need to think of a new "happy place?" I've been given many great opportunities to experience some incredible places and do some really cool things. Some just a few miles away, some thousands. Sometimes I think there are too many, and the sleeplessness just might come from not cherishing all of them.

So tonight when I most likely wake up at 4 a.m. I've made a pack with myself to not think about life's issues, work, bikes or blogs. I'm going to lay and mentally list the places that I've been over the past year, and try to remember what made those times so special. Try to remember their sights, their sounds, their smells. And even if I don't sleep I will relax knowing that where I've been and where I want to go.

I gotta get some sleep. I went all out and did some time in the Stankment tonight with the trainer and weights. Not exactly the greatest, but hey I call it "happy place preparedness." :)

Later.

Been Better. Been Worse. What Am I?

Not much to talk about. There's been no riding and I'm busy as frig with the mag, and I MAY have to push a deadline back (not happy), but I'd rather delay a few days and put out something great than "blahhhhh." On top of all that I had Root Canal Round One today. Yeah, that was fun. Nothing like smelling the motor of the dentist's drill as it spins away just inches below your nose. Ouch. Insult to injury was having to listen to my dentist (a super nice guy), hum Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" whilst he drilled my tooth. Damn, THAT was SO uncalled for.

In actual bike related stuff... I'm coming to grips mentally with WHAT exactly I am becoming as a cyclist. Me thinks the ship has done sailed on ever getting fast, or even competing at the mid pack level again. So what am I to do? Accept it and just race for fuck's sake? Nothing wrong with that! Fight it, and continue to make a fool of myself? Again, nothing wrong with that! I've never looked at racing as "competing," but dropping from the mid pack in most of my races was a real blow to my fragile, homeless, retarded man living under a bridge type ego. Deep down I look at endurance racing as a very well organized group ride.

I still want to race, because THAT is what I do in the summer. I do plan to race less, and try to have more fun when I AM racing. I am not longer billing myself as a "bike racer." Just a guy who likes to ride his bike a lot, and when I race my bike, I want to be in the saddle for a long time. XC is great, but not for me. If I am going to take a day to travel, race, etc., I want to race more than 20 miles. Again, don't give me shit about racing XC, because I dig it, it's just not my thang. Oh well, I'm sure between some good food, good beer, long rides, and pharmaceuticals I'll figure it all out. As long as I'm riding, I will be good. Hmmm, I wonder if I can ride tomorrow???

Anyway, this was sort of one of those post for posts sake type posts (did I say "post" enough?").

Later.