Monday, February 15, 2010

Mr. Thick Thighs

There was of course NO riding today, and there will most likely be none for the next month or two, Just trainer time. But for what it's worth, and what it was, it WAS hard. Some warm up, some cool down, and one big ass 40 minute mo-fo of an an interval just below, in, and/or above threshold. I found myself cursing like a Turrets syndromed kook. during the last 5 minutes or so. (Caution on that YouTube vid if you're at work, or sensitive like). Other than mag work all day, THAT hour on the trainer was the extent of my "cycling" today.

On to a more important subject: My thighs.

All my boxer shorts are shot. Paper thin and nasty. They are the the male equivalent of "period panties." Anyway, the time had come for new ones. I found a deal on some at Target so I picked a couple packs up. Well once you have good ones the old nasty ones just will NOT do, I gotz to represent!... So I went to buy more. Frig, they were out of my size in the brand I dig (no idea what brand that is right now, but it's surely some pseudo cool sounding, but actually lame brand for sure), so I picked up another brand. "How different could they be?" I asked myself. Different enough. Damn!

Seems that Fruit Of The Loom designs gutchies for men with normal waists, but freaking skinny ass thighs. If I move even an inch, the f*ckers creep my my quad sand put a strangle hold on my thighs. Who the f*ck are these guys with 34" waists and asses, but skinny ass chicken legs?? Who has a waist that big and quads that small?? Granted as a cyclist my quads are tad bigger than Joe Six Pack (or Joey Canuck for all you people north of the border.), but they are not like freaking Marty Nothstein's! So now what the hell am I going to do with 4 pairs of unusable nugget covers?? I guess I could use them as bike rags, but not sure I want to show up at a race with a bunch of freaking undies in my pit.

_______________________________________________________


This evening I had an inner debate (Yes, I'm a chronic innerdebator) on whether to have Cheezy-Dijon Chicken Broccoli, Whole Wheat Pasta Bake, ORRRRRR, skip the added calories from the chicken and make up for it with a couple Hop Devils to attempt to kill the pain that IS more snow falling? Chicken-shmicken, I'm up to my balls snow, the Hop Devils won! I am so done with the cold and snow- if you sat a kilo of coke, a bottle of Jack, and sheet of blotter acid in front of me I would do it in a heart beat if it meant forgetting the f*cking snow and cold. I'm kidding of course... a few beers will have to do... for now... but anymore snow.... ;)

Later.

posted by Jason @ 7:28 PM   13 comments

13 Comments:

At 8:23 PM, Blogger Peter said...

If I were you I would wear them til they skid up real good and then deposit them on the rail trail and shit roads of WPA.

IF I were you. But I'm not and I free ball.

 
At 8:34 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Whooooooaaa, too much info there Pete, I didn't take you for a free swinger... BTW there are WAY too many undies on the roads of PA right now,

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger adamC said...

I feel your pain on the weather its s#-t here in Virginia to.I just got done on the trainer.hoping for a cx tommorow till I just seen were having 45mph wind gust on a otherwise nice 40degree day f*$# you wear the boxers on your head while on your trainer and pretend your outside!

 
At 7:20 AM, Blogger yancy said...

I went for a run last night, people gawked, motorist laughed, but I hate riding F'n trainers. Turns out my swanky new endura gear makes for sweet running clothes as well.

Maybe the trails at South Park are finally packed?

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger aaron said...

dude, try having a 28inch waist and 20 inch thighs.
and KSF is in 2 weeks = outside trail riding.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger b said...

@ aaron - Dude, eat a sammich

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Jason said...

LOL! I think my thighs are as thick as Aarons waist!

Boxers on head? Hmmmm....

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger rick is! said...

no chicken. beer for sure.

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger rick is! said...

oh yeah, they were calling for 8" of snow here last night but got NOTHING. at this rate, I'll be riding dry trails in less than a month. in maine. eat it sucker!

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Rick: phuck u

Kidding of course. It's pretty sad.

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger JD said...

I know they are expensive, but get yourself a few pairs of Under Armour Boxer Jock Long boxer briefs. Make sure to get the long kind. They have a 9" inseam so they don't ride up on biker legs and they are fantastic. You won't ever go back.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Dude believe it or not I've had that same issue. What is it with guys not heaving decent quads anymore? Pansies.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger Jason said...

I guess the average American man is now all gut with tiny little pencil legs. After 20 years, I think I'm goin' back to nut huggers. Or just free ball like Pete. LOL!

 

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"Sometimes that's what the f*ck life is; one vile f*cking task after the other."

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