We Did He See?

So today I got out for a ride. Yeah! Two hours on "the reptile" divided up between rail trail, back roads, and back BACK roads. Most of the ride was great, but one incident left me feeling, sick and depressed with the human race.

As it is now, I go out of my way to avoid motorists. I do most of my riding on back roads, to avoid as much traffic as possible, I mean I even drive my bike to rail trail trail heads to avoid the even busier roads, and I ride very defensively and with caution when on the road. But do you think that matters?

No.

About an hour into my ride I was out on Lowber Road. A back road that sees SOME traffic but no too much. As I was descending a small roller I saw a pickup at the stop sign on Slaughter Hallow Road. I saw him look my way, but I moved even further over to the shoulder of the road JUST in case he would pull out. Good thing because he pulled out anyway. I was able to blow by on the shoulder, not really coming close to him at all. I continued riding on the shoulder waiting for his pass. He seemed to slow down a bit, so I looked over my left shoulder just in time to see him purposely swerve right towards me and get closer to hitting me than any car has ever got before.

He then proceeded to gun his truck away from me and down the road. My heart was racing faster than I have ever felt, but still I let out the instinctive "WHAT THE FUCK??" Complete with WTF? hand gesture, followed buy the FU! hand gesture, followed by the COME BACK HERE AND LET ME BLEED ALL OVER YOUR FIST AND LOOK STUPID FIGHTING IN LYCRA gesture. He continued on, and my heart continued to pound and race.

Why was he so mad? Because I was on the road? Would he have felt the same way if a car, motorcycle, or even a motor scooter was coming down the road? I doubt. I doubt that he would have even felt the same if a dog or cat had run out in front of him. Just what did he see in me that filled him with enough rage to purposely try to sideswipe me off the road because of HIS mistake. I mean let's face it, I'm 6'1" tall, 200 lbs., and I'm on a bright blue bike. It's wasn't like I was a 3 foot tall kid on a BMX blowing through a stop sign.

Did he just see some "fag biker" that slowed him down from wherever he was going in his pick up truck? Did he see someone that should be at work and instead of out riding his bike?

Not sure.

But when someone swerves towards me in a 2 ton truck on purpose I pretty much know what he didn't see- He didn't see a man in love with his wife, a man who loves his son so bad it hurts sometimes, and a man who loves the freedom and joy that only being out on my bike can bring. He didn't see a man who feels like he's wasted much of his now almost 40 years alive, and is still wanting to try to do something greater in the years I have left. And I'll be damned if some f*cking douche in a pick up is gonna bring me down.

I understand bitterness, resentment, and hate. It's in all of us at some point or another. But what I see anymore is just blatant disregard for human life and feelings. Life is not some YouTube video of a kid smacking his nuts while doing a rail slide on his skate board, it's not a rap video glorifying murder and and "keeping bitches in line," it's not a cartoon. People don't just get up after being run over with cars. Actions like running someone off the road have REAL consequence. Did he think that it would be cool to run me off the road and laugh about it later over Keystone Lights with his boys? Did he NOT think that if someone saw him do it to me that he could go to jail? (at least I hope he would, but then again, he would probably not even pay a fine). Did he not think that with one stupid fit of rage at a f*cking CYCLIST he could ruin several lives forever?

I say a lot of over the top, crude things on this blog, I can often have a dark and sarcastic sense of humor (or lack of), and God knows I don't love everyone, but I have never thought so little of someone to purposely try to injure them in a way that could result in death. You want to yell "FAG!" out your car window at me, or tell me to "get the f*ck off the road," fine. But damn this is just too much.

Part of me wants to never ride my bike on the road again. To let those f*ckers win. But I can't and I won't. I also know that I'm ranting about something that turned out OK in the end, but the "what if it didn't" part gnawed at me for the remaining hour of my ride and for most of the day.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to vent. Time for Chamois Post #2, where I talk about other more normal shit and not sound so over dramatic and high horse like. I hate real life.

Later.