Meaty Trails Of Griled Goodness

My MEatless attempt almost failed on just its 3rd day (That's today. But then again if you're reading this tomorrow, then it was yesterday, which is still today to me since I'm typing it today. And if you live in New Zealand it's like next Tuesday or something like that... Eph-it just look at the date).

I blame the buns.

I bought the buns on Sunday. The day before I went on this 4 day a week meat fast crock. The plan was to use them to build a couple killer beef burgers for dinner one night this week. By burger I mean some lean ground meat... onion... cheese.. a little dab of ketchup, a little dab of Dijon mustard. Then bake up some fresh cut oven baked fries for a side. Yeah... It would rock. It would be grilled meaty goodness on as sesame seed bun. Oooohhhhhh yeahhhhh.....

BUT NO!! NO! I will NOT enjoy the round and browned meaty goodness of a burger on the grill. Because this is the right thing to do. It is! I know I should just put the buns in the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind. Right? But I was so confident in my MEatless attempt, on Monday I picked up some Boca Chic Patties. I like those. I like 'em lots, and planned to use the buns for some fake chicken.

But it's summer. Summer demands a burger! One made of beef. So the Chik'n Patties remain unopened, and the buns also remain untouched, soft but taut puffs of bready love. So then I thought "Oh well, I'll just have a beer and chill." CRAP! I gave that up too!!

Despite the mocking buns on the counter and the Torpedo's in the fridge I remained strong. I shunned them both, and started making dinner before I could be lured in by meat lust and hoppy goodness. So it was Chipotle Pepper Whole Wheat Pasta, Bean & Cheese Casserole. A spicy, fiber filled gas fest that was good enough to get the thought of sizzling burgers on the grill off my mind. Not to mention the beans will provide some nighttime entertainment. At least for a few moments before Wifey attempts to smother me with a pillow and then storm out the bedroom to leave me half dead and alone. Giggling, but half dead and alone.

Dude, I'm on edge. You can tell I'm on edge 'cause I've only been MEatless for 3 days and have already called this grand idea "a crock." One more day of this insanity to go. Then I can embrace the 4th of July weekend with miles in the saddle and meat on the grill.

Sorry to bore you all with my non non meat eating cycling life above. I will try to salvage the post by saing I DID get some miles in the saddle today, and it was in dirt. REAL DIRT! Single track dirt. Sure it was only 14 miles of homegrown suburban park single track, but it was still dirt.

Succulent ribbons of meaty trail, cooked over an open fire to perfection... OH EPH!!

Later.

Beans Are The New Meat

Today was the 2nd day of Operation MEatless. "What is that my half hearted calorie counting friend? You ask... Along with swearing off the nectar of the gods Monday thru Thursday with an option to move to Sunday thru Thursday in the late fall, I have decided to go meatless on those days as well. All in the attempts to jump start a calorie deficit.

Why MEatless and not vegetarian? Well the term vegetarian makes it sound like I have some sort of agenda beyond weight loss, and I don't. I'll only be actively avoiding meat for 4 days a week, so that is not THAT big of a sacrifice to warrant such a potentially serious socio-political food term like vegetarian. Not to mention I will eat fish. And fake meats of various forms. Not that fake meat is meat, but if it looks like meat, and tastes like meat (which a small handful do) then it's sort of like eating meat (except for it not being meat) and may freak REAL vegetarians out (which I am not). It's sort of like abstinence pledgers dry humping with each other, but "not" having sex. But I digress...

I'm sure out there on the Net SOMEWHERE there is a term for sub par cyclists, trying to not eat meat four days a week, but still eating fish, only for the sake of weight loss and not because he cares all that much about the hows, whats, and whys of eating animals, but I am to lazy to do the research on that. I do have a feeling the term is probably body dysmorphic lycra clad bike riding moron, but that seems so wordy to use on a blog post, so I went with MEatless. Get it? Me... Eatless... MEatless. It's a pun... Sort of a play on words... ah forget it. I'm trying to cut calories and cutting out the man sized amounts of meat that I add to dishes seems like a good place to start. It's worked in the past and a lot of my past eating habits worked pretty darn not bad.

OK, enough about my meat and the lack there of in my diet (4 days a week). The TiEM is back in full on mountain bike form, and will be ready to roll dirt as soon as I pick it up tomorrow. Yeah! Dirt beckons. As does looking a food porn.

Later.

On Not Faking It

I'm going to be brutally honest. I don't ride like I used to. OK, I ride like I used to, but I don't race like I used to. When I worked my shit job at the newspaper, racing and riding was sort of my focus to get through the day without taking a rope to the attic. Now my days are focused on XXC Magazine, being a good dad, and being as an adequate husband as I can be.

The mag has sort of replaced the racing a bit. I think about it when I working on it, when I'm riding, eating, sleeping, fornicating, etc., Where once I thought about how many hours I could ride in a week, how many calories I was eating, and what race I could do, I now I think about content, photos, design, paper stocks, getting costs down, and reader numbers up. And I like that.

I have never been a great racer, and only ever briefly "competed" in races, but my lack of focus on my riding and racing is apparent to myself, my friends, and to anyone I race with. So I have made the decision to stop trying to fake my way through, and abort racing for a while. And I'm fine with that. This is not a sad bastard moment. This is has been coming all season, and only now with break in the season do I feel comfortable starting over.

Even if I focused more on the racing and training right now I would still only be trying to maintain my mid-packness, the mag would suffer, and my family would suffer from my moody ass. If I had to give myself a choice to walk away from racing knowing I haven't given it my all, or from the mag knowing the same. I would pick racing. The mag is greater than me, and it has WAY more potential than I ever had at being an amateur, mid pack racer. I owe it to myself, to my family and to what readers XXC does have to get more focused and do what needs to be done.

This is not retirement. Really can anyone ever REALLY retire from something they do for shits and giggles? This is taking break to get mentally focused. To start over. In the fall I'd like to maybe do Iron Cross or let my friends sucker me into doing some 'cross races. I may even do the Fools Gold 50 in August, but it will be just to get away with friends and have some fun ridin' bikes.

Until I can get back into the shape I once was. both mentally and physically, I will say goodbye to racing. I enjoy everything that racing gives me, but I do not enjoy embarrassing myself time and time again as I cross the line spent and sick from the effort.

The past 2+ years I feel like I have been faking my way through races. You might be able to do that in a 15 mile Sport XC race, but you can NOT do it when it comes to endurance racing. The races demand your full respect and attention. Putting in 8 hours a week in the saddle, not eating right and drinking beer is NOT the way to train for endurance racing. At least for a soon to be 39 year old slacker, and I know better. I don't want to be the train wreck that everyone sees coming but me. NOT that that hasn't happened already! LOL!

I just hope that anyone who entered a race based on my enthusiasm has got as much out of it as I have over the years. If I inspired even one person to enter a race that they thought was impossible to finish, then I feel I did my job.

The summer is young, there are a lot of miles I still plan to ride, and a lot to do. On top of all that Wifey is on the cusp of a potential career move that could have us moving 0 to 40 to 2,000 miles away. So things will be ANYTHING but dull around our house for a while.

I'm looking forward to refocusing on riding and racing in the dirt. I truly believe that endurance mountain bike racing is the greatest sport in the world. To not do it sort of sucks. But to not share how freaking great it is would suck more.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Later.

Hilly Billy Roubaix Recap

The Hilly Billy Roubaix race report.

Damn this one had everything, and was damn fun. It also hurt bad. REAL FREAKING BAD! For those not familiar with the HBR, it's a 70 mile road race, I mean a 70 mile mountain bike race, I mean 70 mile 'cross race... Eph it, it's just a 70 mile race on gravel, dirt, pavement, and every other surface you can imagine. How you choose to roll those 70 miles in your call. JR from ABRA said it was going to be stupid hard. While SOME of the stupidity was smartened up by some recent grating of the gravel roads, making little more rideable, it was still stupid hard at times, AND stupid hot!

Some folks rode cross bikes, some used road bikes with fatter tires, and some used full on mountain bikes. Due to my lack of a 'cross bike I used the TiEM set up with an eBayed Bontrager rigid fork and some fat 700 x 38 Kenda Kwick Trax tires set up tubeless. I must say it was the best tool for the job of the Hilly Billy. I was able to keep up with the cross bikes well enough at times, and on the chunky gravel downhills I was able to let the nuggets hang out a bit whilst the skinnier tired folks picked their lines carefully down the hills. But the bike can only do some much, and then I have to do SOMETHING.

For the first 40 miles, I was gold. Hydrating, eating, taking in Perpetuem (for the last time ever, I swear!! God it sucks) and keeping a solid pace that had me thinking of last year's 101 (the one where I went out hard, climbed like a beast and then cracked like granny's hip). So I tried to slow down.


Too late.

At Aid #2 I was feeling pretty darn OK, I took on some more water, tuned down the Heed (it was the pink watermelon/strawberry stuff that actually tastes more like Strawberry Shortcake's fecal matter, no can do on that nasty ass stuff), and ate some pretzels and M&Ms. A mile or so down the road I started taking in water from my CamelBak. Uggggg, "why does this taste like I just fellatiated a balloon animal???" Alright, so the water tasted like rubbery animal parts. DRINK IT!! It's eighty-god-knows-what degrees, you're sweating out whole chunks of salt, DRINK!

Aid #3 was at mile 58 or so. I knew if I made it there I could maybe get a Coke (there wasn't), new water, and maybe sit in the shade and cool down. I tried, I did... Then I could feel it creeping in. The cramps, the nausea, the taste. Yep, dehydration and stomach issues were setting in FAST!!!

Oh yes! Aid #3 I made it! Got there and they had some nice iced water that I drank and poured over my head. They also had a small patch of shade that I sat in for about 3 minutes. Then I just wanted it done. How hard could the remaining 11 miles be?? Mmmm, hard enough. There would be a few more climbs, a kick in the nuts West Virginia road that I swear to God would be a "trail" (complete with 10 year olds on quads) in any other state, some walking do to upper leg cramps, and a LOT of soft pedaling to stave off more cramps. Oh yeah, there was the always fun dry heaving, with a twist of stomach muscle cramp that made me think I just herniated myself! LOL! It sucked. It was the best! I finished in a bit over 6 hours. I have no idea where I placed and really don't care.

Note salt stains on the back. Eeesh.
I think there is less salt in Ramen noodles!

The race was epic and fun. Damn fun (except for the dehydration, AGAIN!) and lousy performance part, but I'm used to that. The best part of the race was just not knowing how to describe it. Its bi-polar freakishness is what made it great. Roadies using CamelBaks and mountain pedals, mountain bikers with skinny tires, riding on smooth pavement one moment, gravel the next, and mud bogged "roads" two seconds later. It was like racing parts of the Paris-Roubaix, Mohican 100, Montepaschi Strade Bianche, and Wilderness 101 roads all wrapped into one cool ass race. I was happy to have raced it, and to have had XXC Magazine be a part of it.

I thank JR for a great race, that was super well marked and fun to have been part of. In my opinion this event will get big someday. It might take a move in the calendar, or something, but once the word get out beyond the 70+ folks that raced this weekend, it will be big.

Well that's it. I am on hiatus from racing for a bit. Time to focus more on XXC and other cycling things I want to do and do a hell of a lot better than race. I'll talk more on that later in the week, but for now I will just enjoy finishing one deceptively tough "road" race.

*All photos were taken by Ben Stephens from pghracing.org. Thanks Ben!

Later.

Ready?

Tomorrow is the Hilly Billy. Looking forward to this. Who knows (other than Gunnar, JR, and a couple others) what is in store over the 70 miles? Lots of questions will be answered through the day tomorrow. Was a rigid 29er the right call? Can I stay hydrated over 70 miles? Will I be the Dead Guy In The Field? Or just DFL amongst the roadies and cross racers??

All I can ask is to finish and let the spirit of Lemmy guide me home.



Later.

Baked

Wow, another brutally humid and hot day in the saddle. I only had about 20 miles in when it looked like some serious weather was gonna give us a beat down. So I started inching my way back to the xB and decided that whatever I finished up with would be goo enough. It's dog ball hot, I sweat like a BBW 3 way, and I have a race on Saturday in what looks to be heat that could cook a small pig. I did not need to deal with riding in T-storm for the hell of it.

When I got home and looked on the Mac (I do not carry one with me on rides as some think) it seems that all that severe weather went a nugget's hair south of The Oak area. Oh well, like I said, it was HOT and I was suffering like a Floridian fat man ensconced in pleather, so 25 miles and 32 pounds of water loss would have to do.

I am less than optimistic about Saturday's race. I have not had a ride where I felt strong in over a week. OK, I felt a LITTLE strong last Saturday, but than ain't sayin' much! I just seem to have no power and am suffering just to get the bike up hill. On top of that I have been doing a lot of thinking on the whole racing thing lately and why things just haven't been going great the past two seasons. I think I have it narrowed down and will get more into it in the near future. But for now I just want to try to chill, fuel up, and try to enjoy a day in the saddle on Saturday. I mean even with my glass half empty attitude, I am looking forward to the Hilly Billy. Should be an adventure for sure.

Later.

Testing And Melting

A ride did not work out yesterday and I was forced to the trainer and weights for a workout... IN JUNE! Freaking thunderstorms during Prime Time Ride Time! WTF? By the time I was finished on the trainer the sun was out, it was dog ball hot and it was like it had never rained. I've said it before, I'll say it again- Ma Nature is a finicky bitch, who I truly believe is out to get me for some past crime.

But today she must have had a paper due at Bitch School or something and missed her opportunity to Velo-C*ck block me. Ha-ha! Take that! So I rolled the Salsa TiEM (in Killy Billy mode) on the back roads of my little dung heap.


Very happy with the way the bike performed. I MIGHT want to flip the stem positive for the race though. The used fork had a cut steerer tube and I had to ditch a spacer for it to work (worth the $200 savings). So the back was sort of feeling the position change, but I'm not sure I feel like continuing to f*ck with components that will be changed back ASAP. I mean the Hilly Billy Roubaix's 70 miles are going to kill me no matter what. What's a centimeter of pain here and there??


The heat was a concern today. Not to sound like that old guy at the grocery store, but it wasn't so much the heat as it was the freaking humidity. I usually don't mind humidity during rides so much, but I pumped out more sweat in 40 miles than a fat man's from-undah-belly does during a month long heat wave. The chamois was so soaked with sweat, that when I moved around on the saddle it sounded like I was sitting on a baby bird. Little squeaks and squawks every time I repositioned the old shhweaty 'taint. (sorry)

Overall the bike performed great in it's current mode. The tires, while heavy for slicks, had plenty of traction to get me up some of the shit roads, and they rolled very quick. On some of the paved flats I noticed my speed was just about 2 mph slower than my road bike, but 2 to 3 mph faster than rolling knobbies. What does all that mean? Pretty much nothing, the race on Saturday is going to be hot, long and suck for me no matter what bike or tires I use. But it should be fun!

One of the best parts of today was doing a paved climb up Smithdale Road. Parts of this road kick up at 20%! As I'm grinding up in the middle ring (since my friend D-POW says all WPA paved climbs should be done in middle ring, or face mocking and scorn) a car coming downhill slows along side of me. I of course was expecting an insult to be hurled, but instead it was a old man shouting "You've got a big job ahead of you!!" To which I think I just blurted out something about almost being to the top and how I should just tell D-POW to go to hell with the middle ring thing. Not sure he knew who D-POW, or what a middle ring was.

All in all a good test for the Hilly Billy set up. I did underestimate how freaking hot it would be at 10 a.m. and was suffering due to heat, but still a nice 40 mile ride.

Once home I did some power designing on XXC #8 for the rest of the afternoon and early evening. #8 is gonna be another good one (at least I think so). Look for it in late July.

NON BIKE RELATED (But file under Cooler Than F*ck)...

Thanks to Wifey for tipping me off on this interview with James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem. Good stuff.



Later.

Recovery & The Abomination

After yesterday's horrible performance on the bike I went into recovery mode today. Sort of by force with some B-Man Dad/Husband duties, and sort of 'cause I just needed to chill, hydrate, and focus on the rest of the week so as NOT to melt down at the Hilly Billy on Saturday.

Speaking of the HBR....

OPERATION KILLY BILLY is in full effect and with the help of Jordan at the shop I have the Salsa Ti E.M. ready for whatever the back roads of West Virginia throw at me this week. I call it (with props to D-POW) The Abomination...

I looked into getting a cross bike for some adventures and races like the Hilly Billy, Southern Cross, etc., but right now, other than the 2010 Jake The Snake (a great value IMHO), no cross bike (for what I want to do with it) is really speaking to me in terms of price/size/parts/etc. There was a Bianchi Axis cross bike the shop had sort of caught my eye, but I would have wanted to make some upgrades to it and I don't have the cash right now. So in the end, it just wasn't worth the money. The bike would have cost a grand, and been as heavy, or heavier than The Abomination you see above with the only advantage being a bigger chain ring up front. It was cheaper (with the help of Pro Bike and an eBay score on a fork), to just convert the EM to an evil hybrid cross machine of death.

By rolling the Salsa TiEM I will get to use a bike that I love and that I'm 100% comfortable on. I'll have a wwwwide ass gear range to haul my ass up the hills of WV/PA, the stopping power of disc brakes, tubeless tires and the feel of Ti beneath my buttocks. It also comes complete with the built in excuse of "but I was on a mountain bike" when I come in dead f*cking last! LOL!

So sure it's an "abomination" to turn what maybe the best mountain bike I ever owned into a hybrid/cross bike, but right now it's the right thing to do and I'll make the best of it.

Later.

One To Forget

I should have known better.

I should have known better and stopped for food on the way home from the mountain yesterday. I should have eaten something better than a freaking cheese and pickle sandwich when I DID get home. I should have known better and NOT drank those beers and just made dinner early. I should have aborted the burgers on the grill idea and just ordered a pizza when the thunderstorms moved in. I should have not eaten dinner at 9 p.m. I should have eaten more for breakfast, I should have remembered to take my vitamins, I should started earlier. I probably should have fashioned a noose out of brake cables and just ended the ride in a big way rather than push on suffering like big fat sweaty lump of human suck stuffed into a Lycra bag coated with a salty white sheen of apathy.


I should have known when I awoke at 4 a.m. with a cramp in my leg that made me want to bite my thumb off that I was dehydrated and not recovered from the mountain sweat fest. Not because the ride was that hard, but because it was that hot, and because I did not recover like a person who wants to ride 40 miles the following day. I recovered like a moron. A moron who had to abort his ride at mile 30 and little ring it back to base. I should have not gone for a ride today. Then again, writing this was kind of fun. So I have that.

Happy Fathers Day to me via Wifey with the gift of Chimay! Thanks!

Suck rides be damned!

Later.

Catch Up NOT Ketchup

Catching up....

Thursday was Thursday: Lots of XXC work and lots of house stuff. Other than 45 minutes on the treadmill the day was all about justifying me not having a job wit ha steady pay check above what that kid next door that works at Taco Bell makes in a day.

Friday was B-Man's first day of Summer vacation. Woot! Woot! And while he will be spending time with old friends at his day care for some of the summer, Friday was all about us spending some Dad/B-Man time. What better way to do it than on two wheels!

"There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation, And school comes along just to end it, so the annual problem of our generation is finding a good way to spend it, like maybe..."

Riding you bike with your Dad whilst you STILL think he's cool (enough!).



Six miles, of riding, one crash (unbelievably NOT me) and a bit over an hour later we called it a successful day in the saddle. The best quote of the day- B-Man saying (or should I say screaming as we rode) "I WILL NEVER RIDE WITH TRAINING WHEELS AGAIN!!!!" I heart B-Man!!

There was one crash, that resulted in some rail trail side tears, but he "woobied up" and kicked ass the remaining mile or so. I miss the days when a crash meant falling about 15 inches!!

Then is was home to watch the more World Cup! Totally diggin' being able to watch football during the day, almost EVERYDAY! When I was growing up, other than kickball (the best sport ever outside of cycling), a little baseball, soccer (football for the Euros) was the only sport I was ever good at. Then I got fat. REAL fat, and quit. You know, because of the fat thing. But I still love it. So watching it is cool. Plus, along with Sharks, cartoons, and now baseball cards, B-Man is sort of obsessed with it too. Win/Win.

Then Saturday...

D-POW and I headed to the mountain. I had a route planned out in my head that would have us going about 40 miles, with a lot of single and double track dirt. But early into the ride we realized that there was some sort of adventure race going on. Riders coming at us with number plates, volunteers telling us we needed to "TURN LEFT, TURN LEFT!!," runners, etc., etc., So I aborted that route and after a few miles of single track we settled on one of my forest road loops in reverse.


Don (D-POW) has been rocking some intestinal "issues" since Mohican, and is suffering, so that meant I could actually hang with him now and then on some of the climbs. For once riding with someone else, didn't feel like riding by myself! If my friends ingested MORE horse shit riddled mud and water during their races, maybe we would do more of these rides! That reminds me, I really need to send some poop laced water to Shelmire and Brad. Get their colons rocking the squirts, THEN organize a big group ride... that has me STILL finishing last.... (Insert evil laugh here, although I don't know if it would be ME or THEM doing the evil laughing. Hmmm.).

We didn't ride as far, or as long as either of us had hopef for, but we still had a great day on the very warm mountain (better than any day, anywhere else) and got some nice miles in. Don did some suffering, but still rode VERY strong on his single speed. I had 27 gears and STILL managed to look/feel like hell. Proof? Here....

Not sure what's worse? The fact that I couldn't keep up with a dehydrated, potential post Mohican chamois shitter on a single speed or the fact that I am such a f*cking HORRIBLE shaver! Look at that patch of hair I missed by my mouth. WTF? And don't even get me started about he excess hair coming out of ears, nostrils, etc., OK, no more self portraits. Ever.

The rest of the weekend (so far) has been spent hanging out around the house with Wifey and B-man. And getting some reading in...

I have been wanting to read the book Hops and Glory for months, but it hasn't been released in the U.S.. But I FINALLY tracked it down at Amazon for a good price. And for Father's Day, Wifey and B-Man also got me bag full of Chimay and the new Anthony Bourdain book Medium Raw. Stoked (for both the book and the beer!).

Time to get some Father's Day grub on and chamois up. Happy Father's Day to all you seed planters out there. Enjoy.

Later.

Snakes And Thigh Issues

Yinz wanna know wh yI hate my little corner of Western PA?? Well one of 500 reasons is the fact that you wait all winter for summer to get here, then summer gets here and you realize that the best weather was in March! Because summer in Western PA is gray (sort of pale white gray, all the time), humid, rainy and has all the characteristics of a stale, white, wet, hairy dog turd. BUT if you wait about 2 hours from the time you think that, the sun will come out and you will think that the place isn't as bad as you think, but then two minutes later the gray returns. you snap out of it and carry on with the hate.

Because my local trails are no doubt slicker than shit from the daily rains, and not all that fun, I have been retreating to the roads and rail trails to get some time and miles in. It's not all that fun, but it gets the job done. The Ti El Mariachi is in the shop being converted into the what amounts to a mountain/cross/hybrid bike for the Hilly Billy Roubaix, so I rolled the Dos Niner today for 2:30 so I could get used to spinning out on the roads, work on my rain induced crotch rot, and soak in some negative Vitamin D. At this point I think I would have to spend 3 years on the sun to get back into the positive on the Vitamin D front.

Ran into the fella on the way back to the xB on the rail trail. I hate snakes, but figured rather than pedal away squealing like a little girl (as is my norm), I stopped to take a pic and tried talking with it (no reply). I was going to get freaky like Liddy (freak) with the rats, and eat the f*cker to squelch the fear, but opted just to watch and realize that it was just doin' its thang.

File Under: Like You Give To Shakes of A Gonad...

Once home I needed to get some XXC work done and then to run to Smarty Mart. While I was there I picked up some new undies. I believe that Wifey refuses to wash any of my boxers just so she can laugh at me as I walk free swinging around the house enraged and bitching because I gotz no nugget covers! Anyway, I pick up the bonus four pack of boxers, size 34/36 (I'm a 34), get them home, try them on, and F*CKING A! THEY'RE TO TIGHT AROUND THE THIGHS, AGAIN!! I've mentioned this before, I'm mentioning this shit again... WHO are these people with 34" waists, but thighs like twigs?? So now I have a bunch of freaking undies that I can't wear, and I CAN'T take back because there's been nugget contact. FRIG!! Hmmm, can does eBay have any sort of nugget contact detection software built in to its auctions??

Later.

Like A Zip Lock Filled With....

Last week started with a series of rides and ended with a series of nothing. Well, by nothing I mean birthdays, guitar recitals, family dinners, house painting, magazine work, and yard sales. In other words my ass was on eeeeeeeeeeeedge. I usually escape interacting with people by riding for hours on my bike. No time for bike, just interacting. Nothing against people, some of them I love dearly, it's all me. I'm sort of a freak, just ask my wife, family and friends.

But today I was able to shun interacting with society, for at least a few hours before B-Man's ceremonial exit from kindergarten in the afternoon, and get my lubricated, chamoised ass in the saddle for just under 3 hours of road and multi-surface riding.

It was soooo freaking humid today. It started out as your typical Pittsburgh area summer day- dark gray and humid, then 2 hours into the ride it started raining on me, THEN the sun came out and steamed it up even more. It was like riding inside a zip lock bag filled with mud and dog turds that was left out to bake in the sun under a pile of wet cut grass. Oh the joys of a Pittsburgh summer. LOL!

Nice to get some time in the saddle today. I would say there will be more tomorrow, but it seems if I say that I jinx myself and for some reason the ride never happens. So I'm just going to go to bed and see what happens.

Later.

Operation Killy Billy: ONE

No ride, but LOTS of stuff going on today. The only real bike related activity today has been watching more of Ride The Divide (OMG is it good, but I am a bit biased, being a bike nerd) and taking shipment of a parts score for Operation Killy Billy (O.K.B. roughly translates into me trying to complete The Hilly Billy Roubaix in a couple weeks amongst a bunch of folks on road bikes and cross bikes without looking like the complete knob head that I am).

My next preparation will be totally immersing myself in backwoods West Virginia sub culture, meaning moonshine, farm animals, wife beaters and Daisy Dukes. At least until I get hold of a couple other parts.

Starting to look forward to the Hilly Billy. Why? Because I have no expectations! It's not a mountain bike race, it's not a road race, it probably should be done on a cross bike, and I'm doing it on a mountain bike. It might take me 7 hours to do, but I really don't give a flying fagoodus (yes Dave, you get credit for "fagoodus"). All I know is that it will be hilly, there will be "billy's" (beyond the race director), and it stands to be a good time. What else is there? Oh yeah, BEER! I'm sure I can get hold of some Keystone Light or similar beer that tastes like a hobo's sweat from someone along the route.

Did you register for the Hilly Billy yet? If not, DO IT or I'll show you some backwoods justice (and then run away real fast like a little girl and hide in the corner). If you don't want to race, volunteer to help out! There will be free food and shit (shit being just a slang term, I doubt that the race director will literally provide fecal matter for volunteers. BUT then again....) Seriously, if you want to volunteer, work some corners, see some suffering and be recognized as being super cool, and not a douche. Llet me know and I can put you in touch with the peeps in charge. E mail me at xxcmag AT gmail.com.

Time for pizza, beer, birthday cake and all those things that slow me down, BUT help me fill out those Daisy Dukes all the better.

Later.

Chill Friday

Well, it was chill and NOT chill. Lots to do around the house and to ready for tomorrow which is jammed pack with family stuff and will have me missing going down to the Big Bear 2 x 12 to take pics. No worries though, I hooked up with some folks that might be there to help me out.

In addition to it being Wifey's birthday, it's B-Man's first guitar gig. I (all of us) was OK when I thought I was going to be racing at the 24 Hours of Big Bear, and I was even OK when I thought I might be racing the 2 x 12, but since all my friends are faster and me and finding a Duo partner proved fruitless, I was just going to take pics and cover it for the mag. BUT after seeing B-Man practicing the other night, and hearing the progress he made, and helping him through some pre gig nerves, I have said "screw it". There are more important things, like seeing B-Man perform "3 String Rock" LIVE!!

Are you ready PITTTTSSSBURGGGGGH???????? Then rocking Wifey's Birthday! Maybe Sunday I'll go for ride, but Saturday is my day to just be a husband to a kick ass wife and a dad to a kick ass kid.

Later.

More Alpo Please!

Back on the bike for a nice 2:30 today. Basically the same rides I've been doing all week- bad roads, lots of climbing, some flat limestone thrown in, miles and time.

There was also MORE canine shenanigans. I've about had it now. Different road, new dog. Grrrrrr! I make it to the top of a paved climb and shoot down a road that is only about .5 miles long but dirt and gravel and a nice way to get to a paved descent to the rail trail and more back roads. I see the f*cker in the yard head on the left and for a brief moment THOUGHT that I could put the hammer down and sneak by.

Nope.

By the time I came out of the trees lining the road the big hairy freak was standing in the middle of the road frothing at the mouth. I of course stood there like a frozen fat fart. As luck would have it the owner was in the yard and came over to call it away. No dice. She was nice and kept saying he won't hurt you... Just then the f*cker snips at my arm. Whhhhhat the FFFFFFF?? I remain still, as she has to drag his growling ass into the house, telling me not to move 'cause he'll freak out and chase me.

Great.

Finally she gets the turd sniffing, self ball lick (not that there's anything wrong with that I suppose) beast in the house and I can go. Again, she was nice, and I felt bad causing her trouble but even though it's a side farm road, it's NOT a private road, it IS a road, there WILL be traffic of all sorts on it! So when she says "he chases anything with wheels" I couldn't help but chuckle and think to myself that it must not be one of the brightest breeds out there. If I get lucky maybe a dump truck will hurl itself down the road in the near future.***

This make 5 or maybe 6 dog "events" this year. I think when I was a bit skinnier they paid no attention to me. Now they see me as sort of a rolling stuffed sausage or something. I'm starting to enjoy my bear encounters a lot more. At least in the times I've encountered bears on the mountain they have just taken off and wanted nothing to do with me. Wild animals = nothing. "Domesticated" animal that people let live and poop in their house = attack. Again I say- "great."

Enough dog talk. My friend Don claims this is a "bike blog" so I guess I should talk about bikes....

Operation Killy Billy started today. The above mentioned friend (maybe ex friend at this point) Don called me "p*ssy" yesterday (to which my friend Ruth changed to "limp dick" based on some sort of doctrine about the power and lure of said nick named female body part, etc., etc., Whatever I didn't get it (no pun intended.. p-word, not getting it... joke. Lame, sorry) for being on the fence about doing the Hilly Billy Roubaix (I was thinking of volunteering). But now it's game on, and I'm doing it. Especially since the now twice mentioned, possible former friend Don said (he didn't but I'm putting words in his mouth to make him appear more manly) that he is doing this killer gravel/dirt/road race on his single speed mountain bike rather than his cross bike. I too am doing it on a mountain bike Don. One with gears though and some newly acquired parts to make it more road/cross friendly for the race. I will get into Operation Killy Billy more in the coming days as parts are delivered, installed, tested, etc.,

You ARE doing the Hilly Billy Roubaix, aren't you??? Don't be a limp dick (see Ruth I used it!).

Later.

***Unlike Tuesday, there were thoughts of violence towards today's barking furry bastard going through my mind. Sorry. Don't think me like Ben Roethlisberger, I mean Michael Vick. Just pissed.

PS- "What are you doin' boy?? What are you doin' boy?? I'm gonna kick your ass!..."

Free Hubs, Threads and Points

It pissed down rain all day here, so today was the perfect day for a day off the bike and IN the office chair in front of the computer working on stuff for what will hopefully be XXC #8 in July. Not saying much got done, but enough was done to make me feel OK about ducking out for a bit to the shop to get the bike back to 100%. 45 minutes later, it was all good. There were some issues here and there, but Jordan at the shop took care of it no problem. I thank him for the time and the attention he gave the free hub.

That's about all I got going on today. Not particularly in the mood to write, or blather on about anything. Some days it's hard to see the potential in things and easier to view things you've worked hard on as hanging on by a thread. To walk around the house muttering "what's the point?" under your breath. These are the days that a ride helps massage the dark shit out of your head. Not riding is a pain in the mood.

Weather looks good for tomorrow. Glad about that. I need some funk blown and some miles rode.

Later.

Mr. Alpo Chamois

Pretty good multi terrain ride again today on the Dos. Sort of did the same ride as yesterday, except flopped a bit of the route and cut out once section of climbs to save time. Still got in a nice 2:10 on the bike.


One of the reasons I had to cut it short was due to a canine blockade on one of my farm road climbs. My dog encounters are becoming almost daily occurrences. Bad enough I can only go downhill on a road that I used to love to climb ever since that German Shepard took a nip out of my left buttock. NOW I have to deal with 2 new brutes and their pint sized Collie side kick blocking the road, growling deeply, barking and sniffin' the ol chamois area as I stand there frozen and unable to move around them. Not cool.

I tried talking nicely, loudly, softly, aggressively and nothing. I tried giving a yell for the owner to come out. Nothing. FINALLY after about 5 minutes of deep guttural barking (from the dogs, not me) the owner comes out to see what the problem is, and kindly removes the dogs from the middle of the road.

I'm starting to think I must be mistakenly lathering up the chamois area with Alpo rather than Bag Balm given the amount of dog encounters I've been having. I wanted to be pissy about the whole thing, but the woman was super nice, and the dogs were just being dogs, and not expecting to see some dude stuffed in a multi colored lycra get up coming towards them at a deceptively speedy 3.2 mph.

Funny thing was, as I was pedaling up the hill I saw the two big dogs up ahead eating grass on the side of the road. Through the sun and sweat in my eyes, I let out an audible "what the f*ck are those things??" I mean these things were huge! Balls swinging like a steer's, deep barks, teeth showing, etc., etc.,. Not to mention with me straddling the top tube on that bitch grade of a hill they were practically as tall as me! YIKES!

Since I have to harbor SOME resentment towards the dogs I can only hope that they need to deal with a severe, but short bout with worms from all the grass they were chowing down. But would be happier if they were grounded and forbidden to roam the road in front of their home and look at me like I was standing there with gobs of dog food smeared in my chamois.***


Even with the dogs it's been a sweet two days of riding. I would like to continue it tomorrow, but I need to get some mad amounts of work done, both XXC and house related, and return to the bike shop for some hub love. The parts swap and grease packing is causing some sticking issues with the hub. Curses!! But should be a quick fix once the hub is opened up. I hope.

Later.

***Dog Lover: Before you throw cans of Alpo at me or lump me in with sport celebrity dog wrongers like Michael Vick or Ben Roethlisberger (Pretty sure Ben didn't wrong any animals, but I heard he did SOMETHING, so I figured it might as well be dog wronging for the sake of this post), please take note that no dogs were mentally wished ill will during today's ride or blog post. Purely in jest. Thanks.

PS: I've now looked at that bowl of Alpo above for so long I waffle back in forth between thinking "I wonder what that tastes like" and "I wonder what smearing Alpo all over my rump and putting a pair of bibs on would actually feel like?" I suppose this is another reason for me not to have a dog. The temptation to do either of those would be a tad to great.

Blue Ball Ride

It seems like it's been forever since I've been on the bike for any length of time. Last week was a slow week with a couple short spins to lead up to what I THOUGHT would be the Mohican 100K, but ended up being the Mohican 10K to do all pawl springs in my Hope Pro II hub shitting the bed.

Sunday was spend doing more painting on the front porch, which was really a nice way to chill and think about something other than wasted money and 5 mile "races" in the mud.

I was pent up like a blue balled Prom King and REALLY needed to blow out the pipes. The pipes of course being my legs in this instance. So I used the Dos Niner for 2.5 hour multi terrain ride around the rural hell-scape of the WPA river valley area.

I enjoyed well rested legs and a
partly clah-dy an' mahld Western PA day.

The word on the El Mariachi's Hope free hub is that all the springs are f*cked. Parts are en route from Hope, but it might be a week or so. Since I plan to use El M for most of my upcoming riding we're going to just swap out some parts so as for me to keep keepin' on on the Ti El M with little hassle.

This bike ridin' thing is pretty cool, I hope to out for a few more miles tomorrow.

Later.

Mohican 100K: Race Report

Not much to say about this one. It poured rain in every form possible Friday and Friday night. I was less than happy to continue my streak of driving to races in the worst possible weather conditions imaginable (Southern Cross, Cranky Monkey, and now Mohican).

Woke up Saturday a.m. in the back of the xB to MORE rain, and thunder and lightening. Yada, yada, yada... The race starts with 500 people (my first Mohican 100 back in '06 had MAYBE a couple hundred TOTAL) climbing up the pavement and an eventual left turn on a farm road.

As I started down the farm road I pedaled and something didn't feel right in the drive train. I chalked it up to a mis-shift and kept on. Soon the road ends and hundreds of racers were just standing there waiting to filter into the first section of single track. It was quicker to just walk around them and keep walking.

Got back on my bike pedaled and hit another small climbed that turned into a hike-a-bike do to the number of folks and the ankle deep mud. At the top I remounted and slipped and slid my way down the hill. Put the hammer down- and nothing. Pedals turning, wheels not moving. FREE HUB!! WTFFFFFFFF?

It soon engaged again, then went, then engaged, then went. I rode down another hill that came to some pavement near the Mohican camp. I was done with only about 5 or 6 miles of what was to be 62. I was stunned at the turn of events that just happened. I stood there and watched hundreds of folks ride by me and continue their race. Then a woman with the race asked me if I was out of the race. I shamefully admitted my defeat, she took my number down, and I was officially done. The only thing saving me from utter mental destruction and the want to go pound beers at 7:45 in the morning was the fact that the conditions were horrific and there was more storms in the day's forecast.

I walked, scooted and rode (when possible) back to my camp site, taking the time to take some video and pics of some racers along the way. Then I just sat there wondering what the hell I was going to do. Brad, Don, Montana, Steve-O, and Rob were all out racing. It was only 8 a.m. and no one would be back until late in the day. I brought the pop up tent that had all their shit under it, and there were storms scheduled for the afternoon. I couldn't just take it, but since there was nothing else to do but either drink beer alone in a camp site or leave, I left, and left the E-Z Up and hoped that one of them would be able to fit it in their car. If not, somebody at Mohican just got a damn nice EZ up tent for free.

This pretty much sums it all up...

I drove home in near silence, choosing to shun the iPod and just reflect on what had happened to my race. The free hub lasted nearly 5 years, never had an issue, but was never serviced once. Maybe I should have had some preemptive service done to it? Who knows, just wish it could have held on another 6 or 7 hours.

Funny thing is, when conditions are bad we all joke about how great it would be to have the "happy accident" of a race ending mechanical. But you know, it STILL leaves one feeling like shit. There's nothing fun about standing there watching folks continue on and knowing that your friends are out there suffering, and in some twisted way enjoying themselves. This was not the end I wanted for the meat of my 2010 race season and the start of Semi Race Retirement II (SRR #1 didn't really happen for more than a week or two).

I might roll the Hilly Billy late this month, but nothing planned for the rest of the year. Not saying it won't happen, but I need to want to do it, and find a reason to do it that I can't find with riding 40 to 100 miles on my own.

If you finished the Mohican 100 or 100K, hell even if you made it more than 10 miles, you have my utmost respect for sure (Not that means anything to anyone). One of the only good things that I heard, was before I left I stopped in the registration area to once again confirm they got that I was a DNF. The dude told me that about 10 folks stopped in before the race even started to quit. Hmmm, I guess at least I got 5 miles on those folks! LOL!

Time to go order some bike parts.

Later.

Randomness Of The Pre Race Kind

I did little riding this week, and what I did was NOT exciting, so thus little blogging and me saving you the mundane, repetitious idiosyncrasies of my daily life. I could almost hear the sigh of relief. Well relief be gone, I'm posting today and will have a race report from the Mohican Hundie-K on Sunday or Monday.

Over the past few days random bits for strangeness have popped in my mind and or happened to me here's one of them...

Tuesday I was confronted by a panicked woman in the Giant Eagle parking lot who's car "broke down" and her "aunt" had a "stroke" and was taken to the local hospital. Can I drive here there for $20. Ahhhh.... what.... no... yes... oh you're getting in the car.... ahhh... WTF? OK. Nice enough woman, but it was clear about a minute into the car ride she was a bit of a loon. I watched with one eye on the road and one eye on her the entire time waiting for a shiv in gut. In the end she was a loon, but a nice loon, I have my doubts there was a car, or an aunt, I refuse her cash, but she left $5 on the dash as she got out. Thus my enty into the world of jitney driving. At least it wasn't my entry into the world of male prostitution.

Lots of friends doing the Dirty Kanza 200 this weekend out in Kansas. Good luck to all of them as they battle 200 miles of gravel, 95 degree heat, and flying monkeys. The DK200 is a VERY cool race that once again falls into that (I think it) cool gray area of not a mountain bike race, not a road race, but a damn hard race category. There is a 98% chance that you're going to see something cool from XXC after this race. But FIRST the race must be raced. So good luck to my peepz.

With reading of all that DK200 prep and training from my friends, I fell like tomorrow's 62 miles of Ohio dirt, mud, and gravel, won't be a big deal. I mean barring major mechanical or injury, I'm sure I can finish, it's just how well or poorly I do. Lots of local folks will be at this one including many of my teammates, former teammates, and friends. So that's sort of cool. Good luck to all the folks dong the 100K and the 100 Mile race, and there are a TON (way over 400 folks and growing). Now just to hope the thunderstorms that Mohican will surely get will not be TOO severe.

Time to do some work, work my slack, and drive to Ohio.

Later.

Forgetting

Sweet day here weather wise so I wanted to get 2.5 to 3 hours in on the Hilly Billy-esque*** shit roads of my general local as I head into the weekend and Mohican. My goal was to get in the saddle by 9 to beat the heat, but had to settle for 9:30. In my tardiness I forgot my camera. Booo! So no pics to play with tonight.

As I got El M readied I went to grab my bottles- DOOOHHHHH!!! I left my bottles in the fridge! Gosh-darn-son-of-a-buck! Sure I had my hydration pack, the same hydration pack that I filled only half way because- "I know I won't drink that much and I have two bottles anyway." So I did have SOMETHING, but not 2.5 to 3 hours in 80+ degree heat something. Frig.

I pedaled on down the trail thinking of what the plan should be. The normal "shit loop" or stay on the RT due to the lack of fluids. I knew full well the Shit Loop would have me out there a bit long with no calories on board, I also knew a full on rail trail ride would make me want to put my head under an oncoming recumbent's wheels. So I decided to stay on the trail past the Sutersville bridge then hang a right and hit a couple nice STEEP road climbs to make me feel like I did something.

It was a compromise and it worked out just fine. NOT the ride I planned, but better than going out in the heat for 3 hours with only about 20 oz. of water, bonking, and ruining the rest of the day. AND putting my bod behind in prep for Saturday's race attempt. Not to mention get me behind in finalizing an XXC "special project" and my continued porch painting.

The ride was enough to make me realize that the Ti El Mariachi is the bike for Saturday. So at least I got something out of the ride other than being stuck behind a dump truck on the trail for 2 miles (YES, A TRUCK ON THE FRIGGIN' TRAIL!) going 15 mph and covering me with limestone dust. UG! At least it was workers clearing brush on the trail and not just some drunk contractor on a 15 mph joy ride.

I will attempt to ride again tomorrow with two very chilled bottles.

***Speaking of Hilly Billy....

Later.

Decision Time

With 100KM in my near future on Saturday, I need to make a bike choice. As much as I want to roll the Ti El Mariachi, I think I'm going with the Dos Niner. The El Mariachi is my current fave bike, but there are a couple things stopping me. Frst is the fact that I've yet to get hold of a replacement derailleur hanger to keep in my pack. Doing laps at the Cranky Monkey was fine, since if there was an incident I could limp back to the pit, switch bikes, etc.. Not so in a Hundie-K™. Not to mention the Dos Niner's drive train is butter smooth and shifting nicely. The El M is shifting OK, but the XT bottom bracket is anything but buttery right now. Then again the Dos could use a new rear tire... But but then again the El M has a slightly bent seat rail.... Then again I'm diggin my position on the El M right now... LOL!

For the sake of paining my front porch, and mag biz I bailed on a ride today (Gasp!) Plan to hit some dirt tomorrow. Maybe that will help with my descision for the approaching weekend. Sort of stoked to be doing the 100K version of Mohican this year. Sure, part of me feels like I'm bailing by opting to ride 62 miles rather than 100, but the goal remains the same- Ride a bunch of single track, enjoy a day in the saddle, and do my best to hang in the mid pack.

Time to work on my bike part lust list...

Later.