The Season That Wasn't

I've touched on some of this before, but the subject has taken on new life. Not to mention this is my blog and I'll talk about whatever the hell I want.....

This season really wasn't a season. Many factors played a part in that. I thought I was gonna chill, ride for the fun of it, and race 3 or 5 races for fun. Well... I rode less, raced lesser, got fatter, got another DVT, got more stressed, and VERY little fun was had. Then add in the family stress of our move to Michigan, and buying/selling houses, and it has/was just a donkey ball suck season. I wanted to say something less over the top than "donkey ball suck season," but there is no getting around the fact that while I've had on/off again seasons before, this one truly sucked donkey balls. I'm talking back room in Tijuana, 'did she just do that?' donkey ball sucking.

Then I had the vision a couple weeks ago.

I had put together a week of good riding, and the riding seemed almost routine again. Eat, work, ride, eat, sleep, work, ride, etc., I put in like 10+ hours that week. Yeah, yeah I know that's not win races type "Pro" hours, but it's "normal-ish" saddle time for me. I liked it. No, scratch that/reverse. I LOVED it. And I realized that while I am not a competitive person in the least- "You want up the hill first? Go ahead cowboy." And I was never a good racer, I truly miss planning a season and racing. I sort of like watching what I eat, tracking hours, calories, miles, and going to the gym.

That didn't make me a great racer in the past, but it made me a BETTER racer than the slob I became in a little over a year. Racing also made me a better person, and more focused. It made me better to be around, and had me making the most of what I admit is VERY little God givin' talent. It hurt like hell, but it was fun. I thought riding for shits and giggles, drinking beer, and eating buckets of cheese, would be fun. It sort of is, but then it gets not fun. And you realize that all your friends, and fellow racers who didn't give up got fast. REAL F*CKING FAST! That they are racing the races you love and having fun. And you got fat, depressed and ride alone because you're not racing them.

So while I make no promises for what my 2011 year will offer, I can say that I long to get this move DONE. To get my ass to Michigan (just in time for snow!), get to the gym, get on the icy roads, get on the XC ski trails, get on the trainer and get back to the routine of being a bike racer. Even if it's in the very loosest definition of that term. Because even if I'm not exactly racing to win, I do like living to race. And if you can believe it, that is more fun than drinking beer and eating bricks worth of cheese. And WAY more fun than watching your friends ride on while you struggle to catch up on casual rides.

I look forward to 2011 even here now in September 2010. I can't wait for long miles on Michigan dirt roads, and making the most of the Michigan race scene which seems plentiful and fun. Both XC an XXC speaking. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but am anxious to start. After all, Barry-Roubaix is only like 6 months away!

So what time is it?

Nope, not 7:15, time to start clawing my way back to mediocrity,
and set some 2011 goals. (No donkey balls required.)

But before things get too serious, I'm off to drink some beer and nibble that cheese brick that I got in Tijuana.

Later.

Getting Away With It

I know I had work to do today that I should have done. I also know that of as October 20th I will no longer be a PA resident. I know even more that being a single parent (5.5 days a week) sucks. Not that I don't love B-Man more than life itself, but it's hard. I've done it before for two weeks, but we're heading into week 5 (?) and a few more to go before I can stop making all the decisions and being the entertainment. Sure, we have fun and we get it all done. I'm blessed with an easy going, laid back kid. But that's not to say that every day doesn't end with me stressed, tension filled Skype conversations, and pleas for this to be over already. In other words oto say I'm a bit stressed these days is an understatement.

Sooooooo...

I blew today off. Well not ENTIRELY, some responsibilities can not be blown off. But I did blow off enough of them to ditch a freaking road ride with the road hogging SUVs and douche bag drivers waiting to strike me dead, and just say "f*ck it" and drove to the mountain for a ride.


SURE I drove 1:30 (round trip) to ride for 2:00, burned some gas and surely killed a little more of the O-Zone in the process. But f*ck it. Maybe the Earth should just harden the f*ck up already?? I mean, it's like 5 billion years old. Even if it blows up tomorrow, hey it was a good run. Right? Stop bitching already. I kid of course... Regardless of that, it felt freaking good, and I'll do it again!!

When the day started I had a simply plan; Make the B-Man drop, come home, work, and road ride. I had the bottles filled the Campeon up from the basement, and ready to go. Then I did about 20 minutes of work before the words "f*ck it" came flying out of my mouth. The next think I knew I was in the xB, with the TiEM on top, heading for the mountain.

NOW as I hurled towards the mountain, I reworked the plan to a quick 2 hours of forest roads, double track and snowmobile trails. I am so glad I did! Crisp high 50s/low 60s temps greeted me on the mountain, as did fresh legs. Legs that were nice and loose from Monday and Tuesday's easy (sort of) hour spins and core work. Legs that were thankful for sparing them the curse of the road, for the love of mountain dirt and gravel.


The ride ended way too fast, but the it served its purpose of escaping real life for 1/2 the day. I was just happy to get away with blowing off work for a ride, and I can't bitch about that. The other half I can bitch about, but there is really no point.

Later.

Because I Have Nothing Else

Later.

Avoiding The Ride

Wifey made it home from another week of being schooled in .gov law type things down in D.C. Nice to have her back. Even if it is for less than 48 hours. Because our time together is short, I bagged on the "9 Circles of Hill" ride with D-Pow, Aaron, Rob, etc., Instead I laid about with Wifey and B-Man, drinking coffee, cooking up breakfast, and watching football on ESPN. The ride would have been fun but it was mostly for the fast single speed types anyway. I've had my fill over the past 2 years of making a fool of myself trying to catch up to them. No more blood left to squeeze from this stone. Although apparently there is plenty of oily leakage from various sources that is easily being squeezed out on a daily basis. Damn! Oh well, maybe this now 6 week long intestinal issues will help with the weight loss? Or dehydrate me, nauseate me and have me pulling an Elvis on the throne.

Where was I? Oh yeah.. coffee, poopin' into double digits and eating. Not all at the same time, in that order etc., etc., With the temps dropping overnight, my last ride choking the chicken (not in a good choke the chicken way, but in a bad choke the chicken way), and me looking for some ride redemption I headed to the mountain to ride some singletrack.

On the way I listed to the best Morrissey mix I've made in a long time. It was Moz-tastic and just what I needed. For you see contrary to my friend Don's belief, I do not listen to Morrissey when I'm depressed. For that there is The Cure, various Grandaddy, some Nick Cave, and a host of others. Moz/Smiths is time to just sing along about girlfriends in comas, and 10 ton trucks crashing into us. Not sure what all that says about me, but I'm sure it's not good.

Once I got to the lot it was empty save for a van I recognized as that of Master Endurance racer John-M. I know it was his van, because it's in the background of this 2005 file photo. OK, that and I've talked with/seen John a few times and know his van. Of course the one in the photos is different. Could I be a stalker? God I hope not. I have too many other issues right now.

Soon I was on the singletrack and feeling so freaking good. The great thing about not riding as much as I used to, is that it can SOMETIMES lead me to have just the perfect amount of rest and desire to roll on dirt. On top of that the bit of added weight and strength I've obtained, er "acquired" over the past 2 years actually makes throwing a 25 pound 29er around on the trail much easier at times.

Conditions and everything just came together today. The bike was running good (except for some reason I get constant chain skipping in 32/30. JUST that gear. Frustrating, but the Fox was smooth, the tires had just the perfect amount of air pressure, and the Salsa TiEM was soaking up the trail like maxi padded champ.

Started on the trails near 31, then I headed over to Seven Springs rode most of the course there, and then back. Ride was about 75% singletrack and dirt, with the remaining dirt roads and pavement. I planned to ride for about 2 hours, but that turned into 3 from feeling so good.

It was a great day to be on the bike, in the mountains and once again connect with the dirt.

Riding at Seven Springs was just a blast. I miss doing the 24 Hour race there. IMHO, a local shop/promoter could make a killing putting together a Seven Springs Endurance Series (SSES). Do like one race a month. Maybe 6 hours in length, then if you do enough of the series you get a % off the 24 for that would decide the overall champions. But again, what the eph do I know. That and I'm freaking moving to Michigan, where the next things on my mind will be surviving the winters and putting together some big ass dirt road loops.


EDIT: I did almost forget (thus me typing this part 24 hours after the original post)... I saw no other riders out yesterday. Sure I knew D-POW and gang were on the other side of mountain hill climbin' and shit, and I saw what looked to be John-M's van, but I saw no one. Except for when I was on Jones Mill heading towards Seven Springs. From a distance I saw a rider off to the side of the road making adjustments to his bike, as I approached I noticed that it was a helmetless 60+ year old man in a sweat shirt and rolled up long pants, on a vintage department store road bike with toe clips. As I passed I said hi and he returned with "a great day to be out, isn't it?" It sure is Mr. Elder Forest Road Riding Toe Clip Using, Department Store Road Bike Using Friend. It sure is. I love seeing folks out taking what they can the best way they know how, especially the older folks. Ride on....

Time for cookin' chicken (not choking. At least not now), having a couple beers, and getting some porch time at 1147 while I can.

Later.

Gatorade: A Conversation

Yep, I use Gatorade to hydrate with most of the time. Well, that and water. 99.9999999% of the time I use the powder because it's not as syrupy sweet as the bottled kind, and it's cheap as eph. Especially if you sell your soul (mine is done gone) and get it at Wal Mart where it's almost free. Of course I sort of avoid my Wal Mart. Not because of any eco/socio/political stance (I have none, about anything really.) but more because I'm afraid I'm gonna catch some sort of nasty ass airborne illness, or festering skin bacteria from the shoppers of my local Mart. It ain't pretty, I mean I once saw a dude there that was completely GRAY!! I thought he was dead!! ANNNY-WAY, I digress....

I'm out of powder, so whilst I was doing the family's grocery shopping (part of my duties as a house husband with a failing business) I ran into this stocky dude sporting a tank top, tattoos and a flat top hair cut in the juice aisle. As I was reaching for the jug o'powder he was getting the 6 pack of bottles and lamenting that the super big sale Giant Eagle was having on them is over. I concurred to be nice, and not be a total douche. Then he asks "how's that powder?" "Just fine to me, not as sweet, I can control how much I take in, and it's cheaper." He was stoked. "REALLY? Get out! That's a great idea!"

As he went to investigate the powder and I gave myself a pat on the back he continued (I was perversely intrigued and stood motionless).... "My boy, he's 15 and plays football. He's only like 139 (my dream weight!), and I'm trying to bulk him up. So everyday I make him a shake with a 150,000 HP blender (he really said that, although I forgot what HP the blender really was. But it might as well be 150,000 HP since I know not the difference) I bought on TV. I put in protein powder, milk, and (I'm not kidding on this one) a couple scoops of ice cream. What I might do is add this to it... Couldn't hurt, right? (no but it would taste like shit) What do you think??"

"Well, if you got the fruit punch flavor, added some fresh strawberries, maybe some bananas, and got all fruity with it, it might not be too bad." He sort of agreed, but I could tell by the look in his Dick Butkus-ian eyes that fruit was NOT on his mind, and if he could (and he just might), he would add a few pork chops and a raw egg or two to that shake. At this point I had to hurry the conversation up, because the longer I stood there, the longer I imagined the taste of Gatorade in a milk shake and I thought I was gonna puke. So I wished him luck, set off, and because of all that freaking ice cream talk soon found myself in the frozen foods aisle for some Ben & Jerry's. Wouldn't you know it, they have a new flavor called Nasty Ass Gatorade & Cream with REAL bits of pork in it!! Damn.

Later.

Seen On The WWW

Saw this little nugget of wordage out there on the WWW concerning a certain $7,000+ full suspension bike that was shown at Interbike:

"team bikes are 200g lighter still with special lay-ups that put
a higher premium on performance and less on long-term durability."

WHAT?

I'm sorry, let me re-phrase that- WHAT THE F*CK?

While it's no secret that "light and durable" really don't go together the way "light and freaking fast" go together, it's still amazing to me that a product of such expense is produced and its eventual failure is accepted so easily for the sake of few hundred grams of weight. I know I sure wouldn't want to be heading down a rocky descent and have to think about whether my carbon frame was going to unravel under me.

I know what you're going to say... "but the races that this bike would be used in aren't that technical, and so that is not really an issue." And to you I say- If the course isn't technical then you could probably just ride a hard tail built a little stronger, that would still be as light or lighter and lose the worry all together. AND save yourself (or the team/mfg.) a few thousand dollars in the process. Which in turn would save customers across the board cash allowing them to race more, ride, more and need more stuff. I also recognize that it's a "team bike" and that means that team riders are getting these bikes, most likely on a Pro sponsorship deal, and won't be on the floor at your LBS, but it still seems a bit extreme, costly and to be honest a bit dangerous.

But then again, what I know? My knowledge of a successful business, and being fast on bike could fit with room to spare on the head of a pin.

Later

De-Zenned

I had a whole post ready to publish, then Blogger's new Compose ate it for some reason. Figures.

If you want to read something that is not me hating go to the xxcmag.com blog. There a few new posts there.

Later.

p.s. the Small font on the new Compose is Smallest on the old, but the Normal is too freaking big. I hate Blogger.

p.p.s. got it back to the old editor, but am too lazy/apathetic to give a shit.

Moment of Clarity

So far this week has nose nuzzled the innards of fat man's dingus- house appraisers, bug guys, inspectors, and general douche baggie type folks have inundated my home and life. But today, I ONLY had to work on the mag, put a second coat of paint on the bathroom, be Mr. Mom, deal with the bug inspector (we have none, and I must say I'm a bit shocked by that), and RIDE.

SWEET FANNY MAY IN D-CUP YES!!!!

Sure, it was a short 1:20 ride, but it felt like a hit of smack to my veins. Bone dry trails, not too many leaves down, a bike running smooth, and legs that to my surprise did NOT feel like two hair stubbled sacks of stale, stank puddin'. It was indeed a moment of clarity amongst the stress of buying a house, selling a house, moving to Michigan, and dealing with my mental state falling to pieces in a shards of fat lined, beer soaked suck.

It was good.

Every time pushes me to the brink. Dirt is there to bail me out. Thank you dirt.

_______________________________________

For the first time in years Interbike is going on and I could really give two flying fornications about it. Nothing there will make me, or you for that matter, faster, stronger, lighter, or better. Eat good, ride lots, have fun, ride what you can, when you can. I rarely do those things. That's why I sort of suck ass. But they are some pretty keen guiding principles. I love seeing some new bitz come out, but the whole marketing ball suck of Interbike seems a little much. Not that I don't someday want XXC there to show folks what they could be part of rather than what most newsstands offer, but I doubt that anyone would get it anyway. For now I think guerrilla marketing will have to do. It's cheaper and cooler than a trade show booth in Vegas. But then again maybe that is why I've made $5.25 in the past 10 days? Hmmmm.....

By the way... Watch your back, trust no one and assume 62% off all people are douche bags. A homeless man on 5th Ave. told me that once. He was drunk and smelled like piss, but it still seems right for most occasions. The sentiment, not being drunk and smelling like piss. OK, maybe being drunk could work for most occasions, but smelling like piss is a little too "hey everyone look at me!"

Sorry for that last bit, but my online therapist said I should up the misanthropy on the blog. Mission accomplished.

Later.

That Hurt!

I took the cross bike up to the mountain to ride some forest roads today. All I can say is YIKES!!!! I underestimated how brutal these road actually are, and about 2 miles into the ride found myself thinking I made a big mistake! LOL! I thought my ride time would be faster than on my 29er. Not sure if it was or not, but I do know it FELT like freaking forever due to the fact that the high speed down hills that my fat 29er tires and suspension soak up like thirsty sponge and allow me to hit speeds of 35+ MPH, had me gripping the bars with fear, clutching the brakes, and getting jiggled all over the place, and feeling like someone was bashing my forearms and wrists with a baseball bat. And these days once I start jiggling, it could go all night!

The worst wast climbing the STEEP loose gravel of Dick Everwood School Road (I made that up, because I forge the name right now and am too lazy to map it). I ran out of gears and was walking by the first switchback. Standing was not an option due to the grade and loose gravel.


I eventually stopped and let some air out of the tires. They were way to hard. Once I had added some squish to the roll, it got a bit better. I really wish I would have had this bike earlier in the year, because I have no doubt that forcing myself to do these ride would make me a better rider. 'Cause while the gearing is a bit better than my road bike, it's ain't no mountain bike! I found myself pushing my legs further than I have in a while today. That is to say, the pain was a welcome reminder of what I can do, and what I need to do to return to my mediocre at best racing ability.


I took more pics, but really don't have time to mess with 'em right now. Maybe tomorrow. Got some friends coming over for food and beer.

Later.

Easing In With Jaaaake!! (Ryan)

Got my first couple hours in on the Jake today with a combination of rail trails, roads, and PA shit roads. There was a lot of good to be had, and a little bad (although from what I right it seems like there was more bad).

The Good: The frame has much more compliance and give than I anticipated. I expected a harsh aluminum ride, I got forgiving. Then again, I'm pushing 2 bills right now, every bike/chair/floor has some give. Anyway, whether it was going from 100 psi road tires to 35c cross tires, there was some nice cush for the push.
More Good: The wheels seem to spin up way faster than my (now) vintage Bontrager road wheels that came on my old 2004 Trek road bike (now gone), even with cross tires! The Conti tires also seem to roll smooth on pavement but grip the shit/dirt when in needed. Durability = suspect. The fork seemed pretty darn OK too. Better than steel? Who knows? But I'm not bitching right now, so that is a bonus.

The Bad: Granted, I am using this bike as a gravel/shit road/randonneur type bike and NOT as a cross "race" bike, so take this for what its worth, but the down tube bottle mount is WAY LOW. Reaching the DT bottle is like trying to touch the ground whilst riding. Not horrible, but still sort of a nut crusher to lean that far over. The 10 speed gearing... Give me 9 speeds! The 10 speed cassette shows as a dramatic lag between say gears 6 and 7 or so. Very noticeable. The 105 shifters are good, but still not as crisp as my older '04 Ultegra bitz. Not BAD, just not as good But again I am can be critical due to the SUPER crisp SRAM shifting of my mountain bikes.
Canti brakes: Ha! "Brakes" they give the illusion of braking, but the lag between braking and stopping is VERY much noticeable compared to disc brakes, road brakes, and V-brakes. Also, during steep descents back off the saddle, my meaty calves seem to brush the rear brake. Not a big deal, but noticeable. I really did enjoy the bike, even with all my bitching. It rode nicely, felt compliant, and should be just the ticket for XXCross events, and what not. I plan to to some more rigorous testing tomorrow.

One more complaint (all my fault): I was using my Mountain Feed Bag today. Not sure why I think I can get it to work on road/cross bike but it doesn't. The problem is that if I need to climb out of the saddle my knee brushes the bag. I tried to flop it so it would be further a way from the knee, but that didn't work out. Maybe getting a left handed bag and using it on the right would work? Hmmmm.....

Anyway, it was fun to get the bike out, and I am happy with the purchase, but I still long for a Ti/steel CX bike, with disc brakes (and a canti option) room for up to 40c tires. In the future I think that I might ditch the 105 rear derailleur for a MTB derailleur and a bigger cassette. This SHOULD be an option with the lower cost SRAM/Shimano 10 speed MTB offerings in the works. Again, NO cross racer would care to do this, but I'm not talking about racing Cross, I'm talking about epic shit road stuff.

More feedback to come.

Later.

She Deserves It, Jake Will Love It!

Yesterday I gave all sorts of mustached props to Mr. Mex Musty and his World Cup Trucker/Village People mustache, BUT I failed to give my favorite World Cup lady her props. Oh Maja....

First let's see the last lap:

I'm still always shocked when I see bike racin' on TV. Don't the Euro peeps have better things to watch like Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of McKeesport, and American Idol?? Strange. By the way, can someone tell me why they show two mug shots of at the :57 mark? Who the hell are they?

Watching Maja and some of the other chickies on the climbs makes me so freaking jealous. What do you think Maja weighs, about 100 pounds? That's like two of me!! Also nice to see Willow Koerber rocking the big wheels AND atop the World Cup podium. It's not too often you see an American do well in the World Cup, when you do it's damn that is sweet. Unless you're not American, then you could probably care less.

So congrats to the very not mustached (yet) Maja Włoszczowska on the win. Sorry for the delay in gushing, bike boy, lady lust. My bad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In other news, I think the Jake The Snake is ready for its maiden voyage tomorrow. Anxious to get some miles on it. This is the first non Salsa bike I've owned in many years. I sort of feel all dirty. BUT I will say it's not that I didn't WANT a Salsa cross bike, it's just that it wasn't in the financial cards right now. But I got a SWEET deal on this Jake and it had ALL of the components I wanted right now. Sure, the saddle, pedals, and post are crap, the crank COULD be updated in the future, some of the house brand parts are heavy and I would rather have cartridge brake pads, but as a gravel grinder/XXCross bike that MIGHT see between 1 and 2 cross races a year/life, it suits me just fine. And it will be fun updating over the years.

Why the Jake? IMHO it's Ham and Egg Approved!

- 7005 Aluminum Butted (no rusting for dirt bags like me)

- Dependable Shimano 105 derailleurs, shifters and cassette.

- Mavic Aksium Wheel Set

- Carbon fork

- The deal I got compared to some 2011 models makes my loins tingle.

- XXCross compatible: (Iron Cross, Hilly Billy, Barry Roubaix, Southern Cross, Gravel Grinding, shit PA/Michigan roads, etc.,

-The parts will be transfer perfectly when I save enough for that La Cruz Ti!! (Go buy some XXC shit now!!!) ;)

Oh well, it's been a great week, it's been a suck week. Looking forward to the weekend, seeing Wifey and some ride time (on the bike perv!!).

Later.

The Ride of Mr. Mex Musty

In between the chaos of life (mag, move, house, Mr. Mom, etc.,), I went for a ride in the woods today on my fave bike. Which today happens to be the Salsa TiEM.

Since I hadn't been riding Boyce that much this summer, and was spending much more time on the more open trails and forest roads of the mountain I had the seat a littler higher than usual. But for today I lowered it a smidge, and ajdusted the for/aft a tiny bit "for," and I was feeling much better on the singletrack today than I was last week. Still think I want to steal the Thomson post off the Dos Niner so as to have zero set back.

The trails continue to be bone dry, and hard a rock. It's been so long since I was at Boyce I was stoked to see a few new bridges put in, and some of the usual arm cutting weeds cut back and/or dead. Sweet! The only down side was entering on section of singletrack, going 15 feet and hitting this wall of vegetative suck...

Hmmm, not sure where the trail went here. But is was a good ride.

___________________________________


Mr. Mex Musty (AKA Jose Antonio Hermida)

So Jose Antonio Hermida won the World Championship a couple weeks ago. Congrats to him, etc., etc., Seems like there is some sort of stache to legs power ratio that the coaches never mention in the books. Wish I could grow one. Nah, no I don't. there are several pics out there on the web from his victory. Let's take a look...

Musty in action.

The Musty don't do no "shocker," (or risk pink eye),
but Musty will take on two with two. Or is this just some sort
of Contador-esque Spanish gang sign? Not sure.

A shirtless Musty packing heat and pretending
he's Vince Vaughn circa Starsky & Hutch. Oh wait...

Musty is so money (shot) and he doesn't even know it!
(this one makes me uncomfortable).

Musty will even mow the grass like a champ.
I hear he's going to shave it. Pity.

As you can tell my sophomoric humor (bad taste) is out of control this week. This is why I need Wifey around. She keeps me a LITTLE more in control. Sort of miss her. Friday isn't too far away, then she'll be back in the Dubya-Oh for a couple days before returning to D.C.

Why am I still up writing this crap???

Later.

Random Bitz

I got out for a 40 mile ride on the road bike today and it felt great to be out! First ride since Saturday (yikes). The legs felt good and the temps and air had a hint of fall in them. Even some of the trees are starting change a bit.

Dog Whisperer?

It appears that I am becoming quite the "dog whisperer," for soon after this pic was taken I started up a hill and encountered one of the 1,015 dogs that have chased, bit, sniffed, snapped, spit, humped, growled and glared at me over the past 7 months. But this time I just talked to it the whole time and then did that Crocodile Dundee hand thing that controls animals. Seem to work, as he didn't bite me. BONUS!

Sexy Back

Later on in the ride, I was up out of the saddle climbing. One of those extended cab contractor/road worker type pick-up trucks passed me with a bunch of dudes sporting hard hats in it. One dude whistles at me. Hmmmm.... Was it

A. He thought my shapely sexy back was lady like?
B. He was the construction worker from the Village People? (AKA, he STILL liked my sexy back).
C. He was an idiot?
D. All of the above.

I'm going with "D." I just shouted "THANKS!" That way I figure even if it was (A) or (B) I'm sort of desperate from compliments right now and will take what I can get. Plus if he thought I was a chick, they now new that I was indeed not, and his co-workers are surely giving him shit about it.

On Peeing

Wiz, pee, "natural break," whatever. I drink a lot of coffee in the a.m., there's a fall chill in a.m., and I'm 39 going on 69 years old, so the morning rides have their share "stops". While I don't ride that many busy or urban roads and am not exactly drizzling the town side walks with human waste, it's outside the confines of an official bathroom for sure. Sometimes I'm sort of shocked at how unfazed I am about roadside peeing. I'm almost afraid that I have become TOO at ease with it. I mean a few times I've been out running errands or doing stuff in the back yard, and had to almost talk myself out of NOT peeing in the Giant Eagle parking lot or on that hedge by my garage. Wal-Mart doesn't count, 'cause everybody pees on the floor there. Or at least it smells like it.

I tried peeing off the bike once. No go. Almost crashed, and I do NOT want to have to explain to an EMT why my collar bone is broken, and I have pee all over my chamois-al area. So for me it's find a place on a secluded road, aim far, and try to avoid any water bottle contamination.

Was this all too much? Sorry. But God knows you didn't come here looking for tips, race results, tales of victory. (Sorry Rick, Ha!).

Shot of the cockpit (the bike, nothing to do with the above pee post etc.,).

Looks like I still have the cue sheet from my ride in Mount Pleasant taped to my bars. With 5 weeks 'till I return to MP, I should probably just get rid of that. The gloves? Yep, they're Craftsman work gloves baby!! Can you smell the baked in nacho cheese goodness?? They are the same as every pair of ham and egger cycling gloves on the market. OK, so they're not $160 Rapha Grand Tour gloves, but they do me just fine. Plus I think if you buy the Rapha gloves they come with a mandatory "I'M A DOUCHE BAG" forehead tattoo. I already know I'm a douche, I don't need gloves made from the stomach lining of an African desert fox baby and said tattoo to remind myself and others of my douche-ie-ness. For God's sake, PROS aren't even using shit like that. (But they are peeing on city streets) Ha!

OK, I think I covered it all. A ride, perfect fall day, whistled at by dudes, talk of my ass, peeing, talking like I'm 12, smelly Craftsman gloves, dropped the word douche 2 or 3 times, etc., etc., Check! Looks like we're good here.

Later.

Not The Best, But Good

I had time to head up the mountain for a short(ish) ride on Saturday. Since I was getting a later start than usual, I wanted to hit a bit more singletrack, and save the double track/forest road stuff for another day.

Just as I went to go into the first bit of singletrack a back packer was about to go in. The trail is open to bikes, but I opted not to disrupt him as he was just getting going, no worries, I'll just enter a bit further down the road.

Next trail: As I make the left onto the trail I see it... Horse shit. Yuck. OK, more horse shit. Double yuck. Damn, that's fresh horse shit, 'cause there's the flies. And THERE are the big ass furry, horsey beasts. DAMN! Again, it's a multi use trail, and I had the right to be there as much as them, but they were on a down hill with their backs to me. Not knowing how to handle it without freaking the horses out, I opted to once again turn around, abort the first section of single track and take the forest road (it's called a trail on the sign, but it be a forest road/snow mobile trail and not even CLOSE to being an actual MTB trail) down to where I wanted to be. This being nice (AKA avoiding human contact thing) was really ephing my rides mojo.

Back on Fire Tower I was feeling OK with everything. Started cresting a hill, and VRRRROOOOOM a freaking red neck in a pick up came barreling up over the hill, scared the shit out of me and I thought for about 1 second I was going to be come road kill of the flabby, lycra clad variety. NOTTTTTTTTTT happy.

OK, OK, I shake it off once again... Down to the bottom, I took more snow mobile trails. I knew there was a trail coming up on my right that I've wanted to ride for a long time. The thing is, it SEEMS that it MIGHT not be open to bikes. But the strange thing is that from where I was (at the top), there is just a trail sign. But I do admit from experience I sort of, kind of knew that at the BOTTOM of the trail a couple miles away, the sign included a BICYCLES PROHIBITED sign. What's up with that? Are bikes prohibited going up, but not down or what?

I figured there was only one way to find out why the trail was prohibited to me. I was also a bit peeved at the world since I have to put up with Pink Eye inducing horse shit, hoof marked trails, and wild 4-wheeling red necks but some pencil necked geek tells me I can't ride my bike on some trails (rant off, sorry). I'm not proud, but I took it. And it ROCKED! There was some smooth single track, some nice rocky sections, and a couple sections that it was wise to dismount.

Top of the trail- no sign. Bottom- sign. Holy psycho trail markers.

Overall a great trail. Will I ride it again? Probably not. 'Cause while it was indeed fun, and the two hikers I encountered on the trail seemingly could have cared less, it felt like being at a strip club, you know what I mean? Seeing new boobs is fun (from what I remember), but you just sort of know it's wrong and a tad creepy, so it kind of sucks. Do I think this trail should be off limits to bikes? Eph no!! But I highly doubt I will ride it again. For the record it was NOT the LHHT. But part of me thinks that there is NO reason why that shouldn't be open to bikes too. Anyway, I'm not proud of riding that trail, and if I was going to be PA resident much longer than 5 weeks, I would start looking into opening up more trails for bikes.

After that trail, I headed over to the back side of Seven Spring, and up the big ass D-POW Pritts climb. I had one of my best efforts ever on that climb! Middle ringed the whole thing. While not a technical climb, climbing 670+ feet in just about 1.75 miles sort of hurts when you're hauling a carcass like mine. It figures D-POW was off doing whatever D-POW does on a Saturday that he's not riding with me, and was not there to see!

Then it was some Seven Springs singletrack for a bit and the back down and over to Fire Tower and Rt. 31. Not one of my longer rides, not the best ride, but it was a beautiful day and fun once I got over dealing with the horses (and my hatred of them) and the guilt of poaching a trail.

It was a sub 30 mile ride, and I've had beter, but I realized a couple things, one of which was I LOVE riding without a freaking CamelBack. Makes me feel all fancy free, light and pretty. OK I made up the "pretty" part, but you know what I mean, I'm sure.

Once done I headed to the the Six Pack Shop. Sweet Fanny Moses!! They had pepperoni rolls (with banana peppers I might add!) and they were still freaking warm. Mmmmmmmm. All was right with the world.

Then to cap the night off I got to spend time with Wifey in the flesh rather than Skype, eat some Mexican and watch some TV with the Unit (Wifey and B-Man).

Time for another week of realtors, paper signing, house repairs, and general disdain for the world.

Later.

Fun Filled Friday

Fun Filled Friday. That's what B-Man calls it. To me Friday is Monday, Tuesday is Thursday and Saturday is Friday. In other words without a "real job," pay check, or schedule everyday is the same. Sometimes that is really great. Other times, it honks the platypus.

Today F.F.F. was pretty OK. Once done with the continued knob suck task that is stripping wall paper (I would rather clean toilets with my bare hands), I was able to get a short ride in at Boyce Park, pick up some frosty beverages, and get some minor XXC work done. Right now dealing with realtors, moving, packing and getting the house in condition to sell is at the top of the list. In 5 weeks I will be in Michigan. Just in time for what will probably the first of hundreds of snow falls. Joy. BUT I will GLADLY deal with that if that means to being done with all the phone calls, paper signing, visitors, and house chore shit that I'm dealing with now. All that along with being a "solo" parent for an additional 4 weeks whilst Wifey is in D.C.. Again... Joy.

I feel like there was some more bike shit I wanted to spew, but I'm spent. HOPE to get some miles in tomorrow upon Wifey's return home.

Later.

Noticed

Right now I'm in a "why bother?" frame of mind as far as THIS blog is concerned. But I'll be back... longer, harder, bigger, etc., (too much?) soon. I got a SHORT ride in today at the Dubya-Oh. Just enough to get some knobs on dirt. Trails are scary dry, and the first layer of leaves is upon them. The trails were so hard that road tires probably would have been a better choice (not that I'm complaining!).

I did get to use the Salsa Ti El Mariachi with it's new and improved, transferred from my Dos Niner "race bike" drive train, so that was sweet! XTR crank, Hope ceramic BB, Sram X.O rear derailleur, XTR front derailleur, etc., Aging Sport Vet skilled riders with expanding lycra waist lines should NOT be allowed to ride this bike. Seriously, there should be some sort of Bike Gestapo that pops out of the woods in long leather trench coats, takes my bike and makes me ride a Trek 3500. I will say I'm still not crazy about the Stan's 355/Hope rims. I think they might be a little to light for my growing ass, because there is some noticeable flex from them. And I NEVER notice that bike geek shit like that, so there MUST be something going on. I should have stuck with the Arch.

I have been busy on some XXC Magazine (yep, it still exists) Blog stuff (it's not always about me you know!) Check it out HERE and also HERE.

Lastly, and my fave part of this post.... I have JUST noticed that Blogger has thrown up some stats that allows me to see who isn't and would never read this blog. My fave part is the search words. Check it out-

Soiled Chamois (The blog, or the actually nasty chamois? I don't want to know!)

The Soiled Chamois (For you proper types)

Redneck Font (Rednecks don't know from fonts. They're just letters, that make up word for those ritzy people that read and shit)

Salsa Big Mama (She was cushy, she felt good, but she was big. Should have kept her, 'cause now I'M the fat one. And she did ride NICE!)

Sauerkraut Hot Dog (Never really eat them, but whatever)

Homemade Chamois Cream (That was a good post I lifted from CyclingNews.com and Keith Bontrager)

Hot Dog With Sauerkraut (For those of you who like your cabbage on the bottom of your wiener.)

Spanked (As in bonk? As in monkey? Again, I don't want to know!)

Catheter Bag (Hmmmmmm)

Daisy Duke (If you could get past the fact that she wore pantyhose under jean shorts I guess she was hot, but I think search is picking up the time I used that phrase to describe myself (or Rick) in Daisy Dukes. That is in NO WAY hot.)

Later.

Inching

I don't feel like a cyclist right now. I would need to ride more than 3 hours a week for that not to be true. Not to mention that this is the first seasons since about 2004 that Labor Day has come and gone, and I feel like I really didn't complete ANYTHING during the season.

It's NOT a good feeling.

Sure, I did a few races, had one OK one and had a few good rides, but it really seems like the summer has come and gone, and instead of being bruised, battered, bonked, 10 pounds lighter, and content from months of riding and racing, I'm stressed, pudgy, and bloated with suck. I want a "do over!!!" I hope the Bike Gods will give me one in 2011. New state, new roads, new races., new goals. I will gladly sacrifice a 32x19 gear using singlespeeder and his collection of broken Eggbeaters to be granted said do over! (Watch your back D-POW).

On the plus side (if there is one?) of not riding... I, us, we are inching towards the move. We put in our offer on a house in Mount Pleasant today, and our current house will go on the market this week. Still won't be out of PA for about another month or more, but things (not wheels) are in motion, so that is something.

I don't feel like a magazine publisher right now. I would need to work on more than 3 pages a week for that not to be true (or sell more than 2 issues a week! LOL!). But I am inching towards XXC Magazine #9. The mag was due to be out late October, but it looks like it MIGHT not be out until the first week in November. This is another example of why I don't offer subscriptions of any sort. I would feel like a heap of dung if I promised folks that an issue would be published on "x" date and it didn't come out until much later. When it does, it will be a good one though.

Once #9 is done, then it will be time to focus on 2011 with the mag. See where I want to take it, and if there is reason to take it anywhere at all. Maybe 2011 is time to get a real job again, get myself back in shape, and get focused on something else? Hmmmmm..... Probably not. ;)

I took the above pic on Saturday's ride. It was a (wrong) left turn onto Littlefield Road. Noticed the pavement ends and becomes dirt. While some could look at the pic as a metaphor for the easy road ending and the hard part to come, as a card carrying dirt worshipper, I see it as the promise of the boring mundane part ending and the new "funner" part to come. Just need to be patient. The riding, the magazine, the marriage, the dad-ness, etc., All will come together again.

I hope.

Later.

First One Down

Got my first ride (not counting the 2009 Lumberjack 100) on Michigan soil (ok pavement) in. Really enjoyed it. Well at least for the most part. The wind was a relentless bitch! Dear God! It had to be gusting up to 30+ mph or more at times. Turning right to go straight type stuff.

The ride was mostly flat with some rollers, but the wind made it seem much harder than it should have been. Using a compact crank on the Campeon, and I never had a need to shift in the front. While the wind did make some of the roads a bitch, it DID make a few miles unbelievably fast. I mean 35+ mph on a false flat! Jeeeezus! That was a tad freakish. Fun! But freakish.

Took a few pics, but like a nub I forgot my camera cord to upload to the MacBook (EDIT: as you can now see I was able to later upload a couple pics by transferring the card to Wifey's camera. I have some others but they are on the camera's internal memory, so they will have to wait). So it will have to wait until I get home next week. I loved the rural-ness of the ride, and the fact that while this ride was a dog nugget under 50 miles (51 according to my bike computer), it could have really been as long as I wanted it. There is an infinite amount of back roads to ride, and pretty damn easy to find your way around since EVERYTHING is on a big ass grid. I could REALLY do without that wind, but I guess it just made up for the lack of climbing.

Not much else going on today. Might try to get another ride in tomorrow, but for now I'm just going to enjoy the post ride glow of the first one up here.

The Judges Bench is in Winn, MI. Population: 117. Me thinks I need to take Wifey here.

Sun, wind, a little rain, WIND, clouds, rain and corn.



Later.

Getting It (Not IT, but it)

Spent the last 8 hours getting info/looking at houses here in Mount Pleasant (MI). We think we found digz, that will satisfy our needs, urges, etc., (Have I said too much?), Anyway, where we are looking has all the pluses of living in say Regent Square here in the Burgh, but without bordering the Crips and the Bloods, high taxes, and unusable schools. Walking distance to a brew pub, blocks away from rural roads and best of all.... GRAVEL! ENDLESS MILES OF GRAVEL! Of course in about another 2 months it will be endless miles of snow!!!

I've mapped out a ride on rural pavement tomorrow, no real climbs, but I had a chance to drive a part of it. Looks titz (except) for the fact that over the 45 miles there is about 200 feet of elevation gain. Crap! But hey, my fat aging, blood clotted legs could use a break from the relentless taint rubbage of Western PA.

Still struggling with the thoughts of moving 7 hours away from friends, family, riding, and routine. But with every hour I see the absolute joy and satisfaction Wifey is getting from her new judgie type position I become more at ease. I am so proud of her. Now more than anything I hope that B-Man can make a seamless transition from WPA to central Michigan.

Hope to get some miles in tomorrow, whether pics are available remains to be seen. And again good luck to all the folks racing Seven Springs, The SM100, and Trans North Geogia. Vent: Too many races with Trans in the title. Have you ever Googled a "Trans"?? More often than not you end up on site like "Chicks with D*cks Dot Com" or some such. NOT good when you're using your wife's lap top. DOH!

So, tomorrow is the firs ride on Michigan soil/pavement/roads. Fingers crossed.

Did I mention the beer store NOT only has ALL the Michigan goodies, BUT also has Victory AND Dogfish Head? Sweet Fountain of Troy!!!

Later.

Rolling (but not today)

Tried to give away furniture to charity today. One dude shows up, and say's it's too much for him to carry, need to reschedule. How did he think all that furniture got moved out onto the front porch? Yep, by one person. Idiot. Looks like the land fill is going to get an old bedroom set.

Realtor in MI can't show us any houses over the weekend, so that means and early trip to the soon to be great white north for me and B-Man. Nothing like driving solo for 6.5 hours with a 6 year old. Should be a good time (when I'm not going insane).

I am taking the the road bike so I can get some miles in. Mapped out a nice 50ish mile loop (more of a big square) with a whopping 500' of total elevation gain. Yikes! Might be time to move to a 55t chain ring instead of the 50! Again I say- YIKES!

My Jake arrived today. Geeked. Cobbled what I could together. Just need some help setting up the brakes and shifting (as well as safety check to make sure it doesn't blow apart on me). Should be good to go next week sometime. The Shimano 105 bits feel damn nice. I have a bunch of old Ultegra on my Campeon, but hell, I think the current 105 is probably better! Only thing I'm not real happy with is the cheezy WTB seat and Kona post. But I knew that going in. Also want to swap the brake pads out for some cartridge style pads. The FSA crank set will do for now, but seems a bit beefy. For the record, I don't plan on doing to much ACTUAL cross with this bike. It's going to be my XXC 'cross/shit road/gravel road/bike with occasional forays into some local cross races when I get in shape or just feel like making a complete ass of myself. Was offered a killer deal on this bike and couldn't say no. I tried! It didn't take.

Good luck to all my peeps racing at Seven Springs this weekend and at the SM100. Good luck, safe travels and good freaking luck! As you pedal up Soul Crusher think of me spinning out on a 3% grade and cursing the wind. LOL!

Might get a post or two in from up North over the next few days. But if not.....

Later.