Thursday, February 10, 2011

Why Do They Do It?

Why do they do it? No, the "They" is not the Euro pro road dogs who are willing perform blood transfusions on themselves just tor race, or lie to their fans, their teams, and themselves in the pursuit of bike racing, endorsements, and Tour wins. You may even think that I am referring to a certain shirtless GOP congressman and his ilk, but I'm not.

The "they" in question is quite possibly an even stronger, more sinister, some may even go so far as to say "dumber," group of folks.... The dumb ass people who walk in front of me while I'm on the StairMaster at the gym.

I mean they HAVE to see the sweaty spray, and no doubt the sickening smell that is surely pouring from every pore and orifice on my body, yet they do it. I see a guy sweating, panting, and generally looking like a goof flailing around on some machine designed to simulate stair climbing, but being used in this case to simulate out of the saddle climbing, because he's bored of doing it on his trainer in the basement, and there isn't a hill not covered in ice and snow for more than 700 miles from his home, and I stay the f*ck away.

So who is to blame if one of these folks gets hit with a salty gob of sweat blown from the tip of my nose? Who is in the wrong? Surely you think it's me (because that's the way you are). I say "NO! It is not!" There is plenty of room to walk further way from the machine, my aging, sweaty, sagging self, and the two white as paper, hair stubbled limbs I call legs, which are doing the above mentioned simulating.

Sure I have a towel, I use it. I try. But sometimes it just can't be helped. If they think I am going to apologize they're nuts. I want to do the right thing, I want to be nice. Hell I might even make a small neon yellow or orange sandwich board sign to put in the front of the machine that says "CAUTION! CREEPY ALMOST 40 YEAR OLD MAN PANTING, SWEATING, AND SPRAYING SWEAT WHILE STAIRMASTERING AND TRYING TO WATCH BOTH THE VIEW AND THE BUTT OF THAT CHICK ON FAR RIGHT ELLIPTICAL TRAINER." OK, I might need a bigger board.

I can not wait to be done with typing about the Goddamn gym, and the trainer. This 4 degrees, 15 inches of snow on the ground, ice everywhere shit needs to stop! Oh well at least it's been uber sunny here. I still want to stick my head in the blades of an oncoming snow blower, but at least I would be rocking some healthy Vitamin D.

Some XXC news up today concerning getting the digital download AND the print mags from MagCloud. Trying to streamline the business side of things.

Lastly... Happy Birthday to B-Man!

B-Man Rocking The Meatball Face

While I know it's seven years today, it sort of seems like yesterday that I was standing beside his mother watching him being plucked from her cesarean section cut open belly. While that day was amazing, today was much better. There was less blood and we had a great time taking him to him out for his favorite fries at Bennigans. I have never eaten at a Bennigans "just because." It's always been because it's been attached to a hotel or across the street from a hotel I was staying at and too tired to walk anywhere. Does anyone BESIDES B-Man eat there "just 'cause they like it?" I suppose so... Seems odd though. B-Man digs the fries, I know that!

Later.

posted by Jason @ 8:38 PM   5 comments

5 Comments:

At 11:35 PM, Blogger Andrew Brautigam said...

Man, I feel your pain. In lieu of riding I've been doing crossfit workouts in my buddy's basement. The workout's suck, but it's better than the gym.

The only reason anyone goes to the gym is to look at girls, anyways. That's one of the joys of being a grad student at a big university: college runners on the treadmill. Not that I notice or anything.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger rick is! said...

happy b-day b-man!

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Yeah Andrew, I can tolerate the gym for about a 2 months, then it all just seems a bit stupid. But it does get me out of the house an into society for a bit. I guess that's good. I dunno?

Thanks Rick, I will pass on the message!

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Mike said...

guy who used to live in Mount P here again--
Don't worry, within 2 hours in every direction is tons and tons of awesome riding. You evidently know you how to use the interwebz, so I'm not going to tell you where to go- but don't worry- it will be awesome.

One tip: Take a long day and hit Highland Recreation Area. It's a long-ish drive past Lansing, but WAY worth it.

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Mike,

Oh man, I have no worries on the riding available to me here, it just would be easier without 15 inches of snow on the ground! Ha!

Thanks for the tip too! Can't wait to explore this season!

 

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Name: Jason
Location: Mt. Pleasant, Michigan

"Sometimes that's what the f*ck life is; one vile f*cking task after the other."

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