Feeling A Little Lost

Man, what a horrible night of sleep! I fell asleep straight away, then woke up around 2 and was wide awake. Like 9 cups of coffee awake. It seemed like hours that I laid awake, probably because it WAS hours. Then I thought I heard B-Man stirring and saying something. Nope, not B-Man, he is 600 miles away. OK, starting to get drowsy, almost 4... 4:05.... "WHAT??? THE STREET CLEANERS?? SERIOUSLY??" I mean I dig my streets clean, but I REALLY dig getting some sleep more. UG!

Finally I fell asleep. I wanted to sleep in, and maybe should have, but damn I had XXC shit to do in the form of sending out invoices (daddy needs paid!!), and would just feel too slack sleeping in on a workday. So up, a pot of coffee, some breakfast, some work, and some Mud down, and done. Now it was time to think about a ride. The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, and just a hint of the nipple erecting omnipresent Michigan morning chill in the air. Of course there was also a nice breeze blowing, which meant that once out of town there would be a nasty ass breeze blowing. Frig. But frig the frig, I need, nay LUST a ride.

I assumed the dirt roads would be mushy, so I planned to stick to as much pavement as I could. But in this part of Michigan as sure as the air is nip, and the wind is blowing, you can be sure that at SOME point the pavement ends and the gravel begins. This is the major reason why I have not been on my road bike (other than one 2 mile aborted ride, and the trainer) since I moved here last October. Literally hundreds of miles on my mountain and cross bike, and about 2 on my road bike. For this area the CX bike is THEE bike for road/"road" training. IMHO.

I knew pedaling out of town with a nice stiff tail wind pushing me along at 25 mph that there was going to be a painful price to pay later. Soon I turned off Crawford and onto Deefield (AKA the Gateway To The Dirt Roads). Crested the small little roller and was faced with a flooded road. Crap.


I could have rode through it like the truck in the pic above did, but with the nipple erecting wind and nip in the morning air ("I'll take things that have "Nip" in the word for $500 Alex."), and NOT wanting to flood my hubs with gritty dirt road water, I opted to backtrack and hit another "gateway" road further down Crawford.

All I really wanted was to get off Crawford and over to some lower traffic pavement, and I got there eventually. Soon I was flying down Whiteville Road at close to 30 mph. Gotz to love the tailwind!!
I just stuck to Whiteville, to Ward, which quickly turns into Green, which turns to Lumberjack and takes you to the bustling metropolis of Riverdale, MI. Riverdale consists of a bar, a grain shaft, a diner, a funeral home, and unbelievable a natural food store (Manna Foods).

I eventually took a right thinking I would just hit Douglas which after a LONG time ends up being the gravel Nottawa Rd. But Douglas seemed to come up too soon. I thought to myself "ah, another right turn will come up eventually." And it did, but not before pavement turned to gravel (I told you!!), and I was greeted with a balls slapping headwind. CURSE YOU VILE WIND!!

As (bad) luck would have it the road went right, then bared left and had me not knowing WHERE the f*ck I was! I mean I was lost, but not LOST! I knew if I just kept making making turns I would get to where I needed to be. Sure I passed A LOT of NO TRESPASSING signs, and even one that claimed that I was under surveillance (I sensed NObama Militia on that one), but I just kept flowing with it knowing what direction I was going and knowing that I could always backtrack.


Finally I knew where I was, but there was a problem. I was at M-46 with nowhere to go but right and onto it. Frig! M-46 is a pretty busy road with lots of traffic. A nice shoulder to ride on, but I was UNHAPPY about having to ride this road as trailer trucks buzzed down this two lane road at 60+ mph and I was struggling with a strong cross wind. UG!!

My anus was puckered like I just had a lemon suppository as I pedaled down the road, but I really did NOT feel like backtracking at this point, it had been too many miles. Finally after being blown (and not in a good way) all over the road, I hit Douglas/Nottawa and once again was tea bagged with a head wind direct from Satan's under carriage. UGGGG! I went from going nearly 30 mph UP rollers earlier on pavement to gritting my teeth pushing hard to go 10-13 mph on the softish dirt roads.

I had not planned on a big ride today. I thought maybe I'd do 30 MAYBE 35, but now I was looking at 50 easy. Luckily "just in case," I packed an extra bottle and a flask of Hammer Gel. UN-luckily after one hit of gel I forgot to close the cap and found out several miles later that I had a back pocket full of Montana Huckleberry Smurf Spooge in my pocket. UGGG!

Being on a road I knew was cool. Not have semis flying by at 60 mph was better, but that didn't stop me from cursing the existence of me, softened (but not muddy) dirt roads, and the Goddamned wind!

Not soon enough I found myself back to Crawford, pavement and after 53 miles and 3+ hours I was home. Sweet Baby J!!

It was a worse ride than I had planned, it was a BETTER ride than I had planned. Does that make sense? I suppose it does if you do the shit I attempt to race (and your probably do, or why the hell else would you read this dross??). Don't get me wrong, I am a total shlep at racing, and am in NO contention to win anything other than a Dick Spot in some low level never heard of race with 5 people in it, but still there is pretty sweet pain that comes with even with aiming for mid pack and Dick Spots.

Home now, four hours later, the quads are sore from pushing hard into the wind. Walking up the steps is a pleasant reminder of a good day in the saddle in the sun. There is much smug joy.

Time to try to enjoy (with no real luck) an empty house with no B-Man and no soft Buhndchuckian Wifey type person. I suppose a few pints of The Curl, and some FIFA '11 will help, but then it will be resting and get ready for a group ride with some fellow MP rider type people tomorrow morning. Not sure what good can come of that? LOL!

One last thing: Always make sure you check wind direction before a roadside nature break. Yuck.

Later.