For Lack Of A Better Word...

Remember that term "Sucks donkey dong?" OK, maybe that was just popular with me and my unruly gang of low brow misfits back in the eighties, but if you do remember the term, or can at least imagine what sucking a donkey dong must be like (Tijuana hookers need not apply!!!), then you can imagine how this week equates to doing such an act (band in 41.2 of our great(ish) 50 states).

Why did it suck? Well not ONE pedal stroke has been taken outside my basement (as of 6:22 PM Friday night). That's good enough for me to = the mouth loving of donkey dong. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure there were a couple days I could have pulled up my big boy gutchies, endured the cold and wet and rode, but there was a lot of shit going on both personal and work related that prohibited such rascal-ish acts. To top it off I developed a big as your kid's thumb pimple on my my taint (fucker hurts like hell) and a sick B-Man home from school today with a 102 degree fever. UG! What's worse, a big ass pimple undaurballz or a sick kid?? A sick kid of course....

Sure, Wifey ended up taking the day off since she was up with B. most of the night, but it didn't seem cool to take off on a good for nothing ride whilst the boy had a 102 fever and the wife was trying to catch up on rest. Curse you vile germs, curse you!!!!!!!

So in the end it looks like me not signing up for tomorrow's 50 mile gravel race was a good idea, since Wifey will most likely have to go into the office tomorrow to prepare for Monday's hearings, etc., etc.,

Cuss!!! Or not. I really don't care. Someone will finish 53rd for me.

They are calling for rain and maybe some wet snow tomorrow, but I still might be able to sneak out for something quick at some point. Sunday is out because it's B-Man's last soccer game provided he's not still sick of course, but I would rather miss a ride than miss watching him tear up the pitch because he's ill. He rocks the pitch!!!

Next week is the Iceman. I was 90% sure I was not going to do it (even though I'm registered), but then my friend Danielle made me feel like shit (and that's a good thing) and shamed me into being 99% sure I'm doing it. Sure I'm in like the 24th wave of like 2.3 billion racers, but the chance to race the Iceman and hang out with some like minded VeloNerds™ might be too much to pass up. Not to mention a National Champion basically called me out. I can't let her skinny ass show me up on her Ti singlespeed (she will, by many minutes/hours). So it looks like I will be there next week rain, snow, ice, come what may.... racing and having "fun" with about 2,000 other racers. Viva le Iceman!!!

In other news I am on the Mukluk fence. I REALLY want to try to figure out a way to get one, but at the same time I can't decide if I should. I mean should I just get some BIG ass high volume, wide 29er tires for the Ti El Mariachi, or should I try to get my (Moose)mitz on a Mukluk?? There are miles upon miles of snowmobile trails here, and it would seem like a good fit, but I JUST...DON'T...KNOW if I should do it or not. Curse you Salsa!!!! Curse you vile WINTER!!!!!

So maybe I will get out on dirt this weekend (fingered and genitals crossed), but if not.... as Vince Lombardi once said... "what the fuck? It ain't no big deal."

Weight loss progress this week = Nothing. I am filled with hate. AND starving. SO I am drinking lot of beer to make up for it. Being skinny is overrated. I jest of course, gastric bypass beckons!!!

Later