Now That Was Betterish

I was not in a great frame of mind concerning my ride yesterday, mostly I was just being a bitch, but I was also pissed at myself for knowing damn well that the dirt roads were gonna be in shit condition for quality ride. This is not the first time I have done that this late winter/spring and I know that I should have either A. gone into the ride knowing and embracing that it was going to be like sucking muddy water out of a discarded bottle of Leffe in some cross raced destroyed Belgian farm field. Or B. planned and hit the pavement, shunning the icy and mud bogged dirt roads.

But as we now know I did not do that. I expected some relief from the winter, from the illness I have off/on again fought for the past month, and I didn't get it. Then bitched. But hey, that's part of my blog... the venting. But today, I saddled back up, and hit the road again.

And by "road" I mean pavement. Well, for the most part at least. I did a 35 mile out and back with a lollipop square that I thought was going to be pavement, but ended up being a few miles of cold, watery, gritty Michigan mud. The dirt portion did have a couple nice little kick ups, and I just enjoyed the mud spatter, hammered on back to the pavement for the "back" portion of the out and back.

The air was of course still chilly and I was still covered from head to toe in various shades of cold weather gear and lycra, but the sun was once again out I was happy to get a better ride in than yesterday.

I continue to have a strange relationship with my cross bike. Or I guess I should call it my gravel bike since it has never and probably will never see a cross race.... It rides nice, but I don't trust the wheels, I still hate the canti brakes, and I can NOT get the rear shifting dialed in. From day one last fall, it has skipped in the cassette even when clean and dry. Not all the time, usually at extremely opportune moments like standing to power up a hill. And I still find the 105 10 speed shifting sort of mushy, which I believe 105 should not be. I have made some derailleur adjustments but just can't get it dialed. Might be time to just have someone who actually KNOWS what they are doing look at it and maybe get some new cables/housing.

Other than the ride it was more XXC #11 work and taking delivery of a new batch of XXC cycling caps. If you missed the first batch and want one, order up, because there are less than 20 available, and I am not sure if I will be ordering any more this year.

Day 6: No B-Man. He continues to enjoy his spring break in PA with his grand father, and Wifey and I continue to miss him way more than we think he is missing us. Of course on the other hand we have spent a good deal of time together the the past few days and that has been sweet. We MIGHT even go out TWO night in a row this weekend! GASP!! Of course we will go out and talk about him the entire time, but still we'll be out.... amongst adults! LOL!

Later.

Caving & Cracking

I had not been on the bike since Saturday. Well, I was on the bike, but it was on a stationary trainer and that really doesn't count as being on the bike, it counts as being on the trainer. Sure, it's SOMETHING, but it ain't ridin' outside. I had been avoiding the outside because of this incessant lung butterish cough of mine, and cold weather, but today with the cough it's best in almost a week, I caved, and I HAD to get out.

Temps were crawling like a legless pig towards 40 degrees when I headed out, so that meant I was of course STILL wearing the base layers, jacket, hat, winter gloves and shoes. A quick calculation had me realizing that I have not ridden outside in just a jersey and shorts since I lived in PA over 6+ months ago. My skin looks like paste, my brain is like pudding, I am hopeful that by June a part of my skin other than my nose and cheeks will be exposed to the sun. Hopeful, but not counting on it!

I took the mountain bike since I wanted to hit some of the dirt roads and I knew that some of them would be snow covered, ice covered and probably a bit rutted up. I thought that since it hadn't snowed since last Thursday, and had been sunny and fairly warm (for Michigan) that they would be decent. They weren't. Blah!

When the roads were snow covered, they were great, when they were muddy they sucked (sucked hard), and when they were muddy AND slushy they sucked even harder. I blame myself of course, I should have stuck to the pavement, but my favorite routes are linked with dirt roads.

But NOOOOO, I HAD to try... LOL! I kept thinking that if I just pedal another mile, I can hit "x" road, and it should be better, or that "y" road will be a bit better. As it turns out the only real good riding I got in my short 30 mile square loop was the 15 or so that I was able to roll on pavement.

I truly cracked on one hill- as I plowed through freezing soupy mud at 6 mph, I found myself cursing out loud "F*ck this sh*t! I am SO done with winter, the f*cking snow, this cold ass mud! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!" The local cows thought I was nuts (they may be right). I rode the next 5 or so miles just pissed, plowing through mud, gritting my teeth and cursing the very existence of man. IT WAS GREAT!! I wish I could get fired up like that for races!!

Hope that BB is sealed up good. Then again, I hope I remembered to clean
up that pile watery gravel my bike shit out below it....

After a long stretch of slow moving dirt roads I finally made it to a 10+ mile stretch of paved roads that would take me home. I soon forgot all the muddy anger, road at a nice pace with the knobbies whirling and no doubt cursing me for riding them on pavement and depriving them of single track for going on 4 months.

It appears that I did NOT remember to clean that up... YIKES!

I still sort of found myself in bad frame of mind as I rolled up the driveway looking at the mounds of snow that have yet to melt. The weather has been beautiful and sunny here this week. Just damn cold (for late March IMO). A week like this in January would have had me giddy. A week like this now that it is nearly April has me one step away from the loony bin. At least that's what the cows along the back roads are thinking.

All of this gritty mud, and big ass winter bike shoe shit has slowly turned my
3 year old Shimano XTR crank into an "ANO R probably gonna just crack in half crank"

Weather should be OK for riding over the next few days, but I refuse to deal with the soupy roads!! (if I can help it). I will stick to the road, deal with the cars (there aren't that many here anyway), and keep trying to get my miles in. OR I will drive my ass somewhere were there MIGHT be clear single track or firmer roads.

Later.

Now To Get Back To Doing Nothing

The days since the Barry-Roubaix and my first race of the season have been sort of, OK, VERY lame. The cough blossomed into full on Old Man Loogie Hawking Lung Buttah. Wifey and B-Man were in Pittsburgh visiting, so Sunday was spent laying around the house playing video games and drinking some beer. Nothing wrong with that, except I would have preferred to ride 50 miles THEN do that. Doing it along, coughing up lung butter, just made me feel sort of pathetic.

Monday was more of the same minus the beer and video games. That patheticness was substituted with what I pass off for work. I avoided the gym so as not to be some sweaty guy coughing mucus all over the machines. Since it is STILL witch tit cold here, icy and snowy in spots and I apparently have Black Lung or something I avoided the dirt roads. I just did NOT feel like getting soaked with mud and making the lung issue worse. So I hit the trainer for an hour to get a sweat on.

Funny thing is, I feel great on the bike (minus the coughing fits that causes my ass feel like a small plum is exiting the chute and pushing into the saddle. Plum, hemorrhoid, whatever). The good news was Wifey would be home Tuesday. The bad news is, that B-Man was staying on in the 'Burgh for Spring Break and partying with his Poppy who will bring him up when he visits this weekend. So I will go a unprecedented 8 days days of now Woobie. I mean who am I gonna watch Adventure Time and Regular Show with????

Today was better, but still no bike other than the trainer. Lots of work done, and Wifey returned, we hung out, then she departed for the worlds longest hair appointment.

Tomorrow, I am gonna head back out on the bike, face the chilly air, mud, and deal with the coughing fits and the chamois kissing little hemorrhoid that wants follows them. I need miles!!!

Later.

Barry-Roubaix Race Report Type Thing

Wow, I'm not sure if I even remember how to write one of these here race recap things, but I will try. First some background to this coming season... This is sort of long, so skip 5 or so paragraphs down to avoid a lot of blathering. The report also lacks any photos right now. Not that there is ANY reason to see me in digital form, I just thought I would mention it...

Last year was the bust of all busts for my racing. I had approached 2010 with the idea of being "semi retired" from non professional, non successful, just hope to finish, mid pack at best bike racing. I would race a few races, try not to care, try to have fun, etc.,

I raced the Cranky Monkey 9 Hour Solo and was pretty happy with my mid packness, then I raced the Mohican 100k (for about 10k before my free hub blew, and had me walking back to the car and DNFing), then I raced the Hilly Billy in late June, it was a great race, and a format I really dug; shit roads and dirt roads of WV and PA, cross bike or mountain bike friendly, just not all that "Jason friendly." By the end I was a salty, sweaty cramped up mess of human suck. I limped across the finish line, and decided "yeah, I think I'm just gonna forget the rest of this season."

But that didn't last too long and I found myself signed up to race a a Duo at an 18 hour race with my friend Pete. In the meantime Wifey got a great new job, we were awaiting to be told where we would be moving to, and then it happened... DVT #2. This time in my left leg. The next day as I was giving myself shots in the stomach we found out we were moving to Mount Pleasant, MI. GOOD GRAVY!! Long story short, the race season was now OVER. Riding would continue, as would some weight gain, and lots of personal and family stress. I could not wait to say goodbye to 2010.

So in October we moved to Mount Pleasant, Michigan, bought a house and we're here for at least bit (a bit being who knows how long?). Once here, and having the DVT very much under control I set about to get back to racing in 2011. While not even "good" at racing it has been such a part of my life for the past 6 or 7 years, it's harder to NOT do it, than to do it. I'm not looking for results (other than trying to maintain my mid pack rep), just the joy of racing my bike, taking in the scene, staying in shape, and seeing some of my new home state. I will be doing a few XC races, along with some XXC marathon type races. Right now 100% of my schedule is going down in Michigan, and it starts with the 2011 Barry-Roubaix.

As the publisher/art director, yada, yada, yada of an endurance mountain bike magazine I SHOULD have been racing the 65 mile Barry. BUT, I figured there is no better way to crush my confidence going into 2011 than racing with a bunch of Pros and elite racers, and limping across the line in last place in the first race of the season. Finding out race time temps would only be in the mid 20s only served to strengthen my decision. As did the stress of the week leading up to the race...

I had been sick a couple weeks ago, then it went away, I got some great riding in, then we got 8 or so inches of snow this week here in MP. So I spent 1 day in the gym, 1 day on the trainer, and two days shoveling snow and hanging with the home all day because school is cancelled B-Man. I was also trying to get work done on XXC #11 and not fret about the race. THEN late Thursday I coughed a few times. Then I coughed a bunch. Then Friday I was coughing with burning lung butter. NOOOOO!!!!! The sick is back! WTF??? Oh well, I've ridden in worse conditions, it's ONLY 35 miles. What's a hacked up lung?

____________________________________

Finally the race report (sorry for the lengthy intro):

Friday was spent working on the mag, followed by some time on the trainer to get the legs loose, break up some lung butter and sweat out some snow induced toxin intake from the week. Then since Wifey and B-Man headed back to Pittsburgh for a few days, I spent a restful and sort of lonely night of eating in front of the TV and watching a documentary about Roky Erickson, before heading to bed in prep for the EARLY wake up and a two hour drive to the Barry.

A fitful night of sleep, coughing and dreaming I missed the start of the race, brought 5:30 a.m., oatmeal, coffee, and driving. It was nice to start seeing the snow disappear as I drove south. Too bad it didn't bring warmer temps too! But hey, at least the sun was shining and the wind was calm.

I didn't know what to expect from this race. I mean I KNEW what the course was like, from having pre rode it, but that was with one other person. This time there would be like 900 other folks on the course- yes, 900!

I had heard rumor that Rick (the promoter), ran a smooth race, but damn this was organized, and easy. No waiting, no lack of details, no nothing. Just smooth. Line up behind the big sign on a giant stick indicating your age group and mileage, and wait for your wave to be released.

As I stood there shivering, waiting for the 35-39 year old 35 mile wave to be released I thought of a few things... ONE: I should have brought my cross bike, TWO: I wish I could stop coughing, and THREE: JESUS H., I GOTTA PEE BAD!!

3, 2, 1... We're off.

I don't ride in groups much, so riding with like 100+ folks in my wave was sort of nerve rattling, I just stood my ground, and tried to not to be "that guy." Meaning "that guy that grabbed a handful of brake and brought down 80 other riders with him." I wasn't, and shortly we were off the pavement and onto the dirt roads where things started thinning out.

The first things I noticed upon hitting the dirt was "wow, NO snow or ice!!" and "damn, I am NOT breathing all that well!" The breathing was a LITTLE from the cough, but more from a slap to the gonads of racing like this, meaning I was finding myself actually trying to go fast, pass, and get to the finish line ASAP (mostly from the fact I had to pee BAD!). Most of the racing I've done in the past, has been to JUST finish. This time it was different, and my lungs and heart rate were not happy. But I found a groove soon enough, then I just kept thinking "I should have brought the CX bike, these roads are SMOOTH." Followed by "SHUT UP! It's too late now, just pedal!"

We hit the Sager road double track, I was expecting it to be a mess, but it was pretty dry, with only a few icy puddles that were easily avoidable. At least for me. A few folks did seem to find their way into them, which could NOT have felt great just about 5 miles into a 35 mile race in 25 degree weather.

It was also on Sager that I heard this exchange behind me:
Sound of high PSI cross tire popping and blowing air.
Rider 1: Woahh, that sucks for someone!
Rider 2: Dude, that's you!!
Rider 1: Shit, it is! DAMN!
Me: *giggle*

After Sager, things got sort of blurry. I was glad I had been able to pre ride and knew when the climbs were coming, but for the most part it was just a blur of fast forest road hammering, leap frogging with a few racers, and powering up the rollers when I could. I do remember being passed by a dude and his 9 year old son on tandem on one climb. That didn't do too much for the confidence, but I got them back later, when I elbowed the kid in a corner. I'm kidding of course, not sure I saw them again!

There was one climb that I did sort of forget from the pre ride, but it wasn't too bad, and as we climbed we were greeted with cheers, cowbells and some dude blasting "Eye of The Tiger" from a sound system (me: head shaking in disbelief). I was losing any sense of form on the bike and was flailing all over it on this climb, it could not have been pretty.

At one point I passed Danielle Musto doing the 65, she had the flu, looked sort of miserable, but ended up finishing in spite of the illness. Ballzy. Then I met up with Bill K., who contributed to the last issue of XXC with his story on the Iceman. He was riding single speed and doing a great job. Not by plan, but we sort of ended up riding together for the last 10 miles, leap frogging with each other the way single speed and geared bikes often do when racing. Nice to meet him in person.


Before I knew it, I was on the last few miles of pavement back to the park and the finish line. I misjudged the length of the final stretch and approached each roller mistakenly thinking it was the last one. Standing on the way up feeling the sluggish knobbies whirl below me, sitting pedaling hard on the way down, feeling my cold, soaked with sweat balaclava stick to my face.

Then I could see the course marshals up ahead waving folks through to the park entrance. Just about .5 mile to go, I shifted, pedaled hard and crossed the line in 2:09:12. Good enough for 45th place out of 84 in my class. Pretty darn close to mid-packy-ness. I'll take it.

Coughed my ass off for a half hour after the race, changed into some warm clothes, had a Founders, shivered and hung with fellow MP residents Chris M. and Mike S., as well as the injured Garth P. I waited forever in line for a taco truck taco, bailed when it was taking too long, and ended up spending $3 on food at McDonalds. How do I always end up at these places after a race? At no other point in life does McDonalds food seem like a good idea. But after a race I am shoveling McChickens down my throat and Loving It.

The Barry-Roubaix was a great race, and a great way to kick off a new season of racing in a new state. I am pretty happy with how my race went, but clearly see how a CX bike would have been better, as would the ability to work with a group. Slugging it out solo on a mountain bike with 2.1 knobby tires was not the easiest. If I had any mechanical ability at all I would have rather had the El Mariachi set up like I did for last year's Hilly Billy race. It was also strange to finish a race and not be just totally destroyed mentally and physically. I sort of missed that, but sort of didn't.

The next race on my calendar is the Rust Shaker XC race on April 9th. Not sure that race will happen though since it's there is still about 10 inches of snow on the ground up this way, and parts north, and temps do not look to be getting out of the 40s in the coming 10+ days. But you never know. If that doesn't happen then it will be the Yankee Springs TT on April 17th.

Once home it was a night of enjoying some fine beers, eating Mexican food and playing video games. It was like the ultimate bachelor day. But I will say I am ready for B-Man and Wifey to come home now.

Gonna give the lungs a rest today, lay about, maybe do some work.

Later.

P.S. Was this all long enough? I don't think it was long enough....

Race Time Decisions

The Barry-Roubaix is this weekend. Yeah! Me and 900+ other folks willing to bite down on the bizness end of Old Man Winter's knob and ride 23, 35, or 65 miles in what looks to be a race time temp of about 25 degrees. While my "friend" D-POW will no doubt be disappointed that I am doing the 35 mile option, I am thanking the Big Guy upstairs on an semi hourly basis that I opted for that length given the temps and my slowness.

Given those lingam tip burning temps, I am now opting for the El Mariachi for the race. I was like 99% sure that I was going to run the Jake, then the weather started getting Witch Tit like again, so now I am back to the mountain bike for a few reasons...

Shifting: I will be PROBABLY be wearing lobster mitz, or at least a double layer of gloves. Dexterity is a plus with STI shifters, and would be really hard to shift in lobster mitz. Eph the STIs. (Cue single speeder thinking/posting why a single speed is superior).

Flats: While there is the chance that my Stan's will not work all that great in 25 degree temps, I STILL trust it more than tubes, and I am soooooo NOT wanting to change a potential flat with numb fingers. I would rather just DNF at that point.

Ice/Frozen Mud Ruts: Thankfully the area of the mitten that the Barry is located, did NOT get the 7-8 inches of snow that MP got, BUT it did get rain and freezing rain, and then the aforementioned Witch Tit, Lingham Tip Burn temps. Frozen muddy ruts and ice are a threat- give me 2.1 tires over 40c CX tires any day on shit like that. Sure if I had Sven Nys like CX bike handling skills that would not be an issue. But I don't. I have mid pack at best bike handling skills and a body that is nearly 40 years old and not wanting to drag it's sagging, flabby ass over frozen Barry County dirt.

OK, that's all the reasons I have, the only other one is that provided I finish and don't have the tip of my lingam turn black with frost bite through the chamois, is that I have a feeling I would finish as good as (if you're an optimist type fool) or as poor as (if you're a pessimist type fool) on the mountain bike as I would on the cross bike. Might as well be comfy doing it. Or at least as comfy as one can be racing in twentyf*ckingfivedegree temps.

BTW, is there a chick equivalent of tip burn? Hmmm, I have some thoughts, but this is a white trash, trailer court family blog, and I don't want to say too much. I have heard if you stuff a sock down there it will take the chill off the ol' chap. Or was that how to look like Led Zeplin erea Robert Plant? Still, I don't want to be a chamois stuffer.

Might post Friday, as I will surely be bored at some point. But might just save if for the post Barry race action. Even with the 25 degree temps I am SOOOOOO looking forward to getting back to racing, even if I am racing for age group bragging rights and overall mid pack placings.

BTW, have you seen the course pre ride video I did for my employer? No? Well, then here it is...

So let it begin...

Later.

Close To The End Of The Rope

Hmm.... What to say bout this week so far? Umm.... The good- two good workouts, ahem, I mean time "doing stuff" so far this week. That's well enough. Of course neither workout was outside on the bike. One in the gym... staring lustfully, wantingly... at the treadmill in front of me... ah, ummm... ah... ah... Then to the weights to keep things from sagging too much. Then today it was time on the trainer in the basement listening to tunes, doing laundry, and sweating a ton. Again.. good enough. Sucky, but good enough.

Then later today the snow started. F*CKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKING SERIOUSLY??????? They (they being the f*cking nerds at weather.com) are saying that we could get up to 10 inches in the MP area in the next 36 hours. It's March 22, do you know what I was doing LAST March 22?? NO??? Well neither do I since I didn't post last March 22, but I do know that last March I had a TON of fun riding the Tour of Irwin, the KSF'ed Weekend, and other rides. Including a local loop that had over 2,300 feet of climbing (FYI- I rode for 50 miles this weekend and had about 600 feet of total elevation gain). Then again on that same ride last March I nearly came to blows with a Western PA douche bag about riding on the road.

The Barry-Roubaix is this weekend, there is talk of the pissy weather, shortening courses, icy roads and what not going on. I hate everyone, so I went to Rics and got some Hopslam. Said "F-U" to the snow, to my weekday beer ban and the never coming spring. And to many other things.

March twenty-fucking-second and snow. Nice.

Later.

Is it dead?

Is the blog dead? Not this blog per say, but in general. With 99.9999% of everyone on earth posting about every time they blink, shit, fart, or burp on Facebook and Twitter, is this (almost) lowest form of written communication/online voyeurism dead?

I have been dropping nonsense since 2005, and for some reason can't seem to stop posting even though I would have to offer up one of my testes in sacrifice just to get a comment on this digital fish wrap. I really don't look at numbers or shit like that on this here blog given that I get NOTHING from posting this dross, it's just a way to keep a diary of sorts without sounding like a 13 year old girl, or someone really gay. To me it seems like most folks just don't have the will to write more than a few words, or the want to read more than a few words these days. Again, I'm not really talking about THIS blog, I'm not really bringing anything to the table anymore (if ever), it's just an observation.

Back to my dross... I didn't ride today. Instead I took B-Man to his last basketball practice/game. They played, he scored two baskets, I was super proud, and he was super cute. He's the best.

I got well over 10 hours of doing stuff this week. The Barry-Roubaix is Saturday, and I am stoked to kick of the season even though the weather here still sucks frozen hairy balls.

I MUST get some quality work done this week or risk the mag imploding more than it already has. Good times.

Later.

Fiddy Ride #2

I am not a fan of riding in cold weather, but after this endless Michigan winter 30 degrees and sun, with no snow on the roads is like a little slice of heaven. Sure the head wind felt like I was riding into one long constant fart out the back end of Jack Frost himself, and my toes got a bit cold (since I refused to wear my Lake winter boots), but the sun and dry-ish dirt roads made up for all that.

Today I did the dirt road/road ride that I wanted to do last week, but was thwarted by piss poor road conditions. What a difference a week makes! Today there was no snow on the roads, very little mud (except for a few shaded sections) and the ride went off as planned.

The front wheel of the Jake is all fixed up and good to go, so I rolled it today rather than the El Mariachi. I am about 90% sure that I want to use the Jake for the Barry-Roubaix, so I figured getting it out on some of the bigger rollers in the area would be a plus today. And it was.

Taking a pic of a climb NEVER looks as hard as it actually is, but taking a picture of a climb here in the central MI area is even worse. Take the climb below- It's NOTHING like I rode in PA, but damn I was still pushing hard in the big ring to get up this damn thing, but it looks like a freaking rail trail. I think it is partly due to the fact that there are no real turns on the climbs, you can see them coming from miles away, and the roads are like 50 feet wide. Oh well, it still burned like hell in the legs getting up it, and that is what matters I suppose.

Today I hit some new dirt roads, and some new sections of pavement. It was a blast. I would have liked it to be about 20 degrees warmer, but I will take what I can get. I hope to get out again tomorrow, but if not I have had a pretty good week (for me), with over 10 hours of riding and "doing stuff" so far, so I am not gonna complain.

This didn't help the cold toes, not sure what I was thinking as I walked off the road to take a pic (above). Cold toes in icy snow. Nice move J... Nice move...

I ended up with the second 50 mile ride of the week, and 3 hours on the bike. That is a good Saturday! Hope next Saturday goes as wells, since by this time next week the first race of the season will be over (YIKES!). I have also got some reports that the trails at Midland City Forest are in very good conditions, so I am tempted to go check them out this week. Still need to get the Spearfish dialed in for race season.

Time to enjoy a few beers, and get ready to go to enjoy some food.

Later.

Hmm.. This is 2K? No, It's Not

I really thought that my 2,000th post would have a bit more ommmpf (making ball cupping gesture). I had apologies ready in advance to you and to myself because there is not ball cup gesturing ooomf to this post. Although there is the normal lowbrow nonsense and general bike related nothingness, since that is pretty much the bread and butter of this blog. BUT as luck would have it (also called double checking) it seems that Blogger counts drafts as posts, and I had a good 30 or 40 posts that I started and never finished for various reasons. So now I have like 40 more days until I feel the pressure of a 2,000th post about nothing important what-so-ever.

I seriously have a ton of work to do on XXC #11. But I am just NOT feeling any artistic mojo. Sort of creative constipation, it's very frustrating. I have some great articles and my mind is just not letting me "feel" what I want them to look like. I might have to do some sort of Beatlesque trip to India, or lock myself in some sort of Native American sweat lodge, with a bunch of beer, and design books or something. Usually riding is where I get most of my ideas and creative energy and I have been doing a lot of that lately, but still.... Nothing. Curses.

I had planned to take today off the bike, get in front of the computer and do some damn work. I did do some web work, did some proof reading of an article, some downloading of art, and then. Nothing. Then I looked outside, saw the sun peaking out and temps head heading into the high 50s.

"F*ck it."

With the Jake's front wheel in no state for riding, I went and got the El M, kitted up, grabbed my camera and headed out into the wind for a 30 mile square loop. Today's ride was about 60/40 dirt road vs. pavement. Most of the pavement is pretty damn rural though. Hell, even the part that I THINK isn't that rural, and sort of busy, would be considered low traffic stuff for most folks. I'm not complaining, that's for sure.


One stretch of pavement was just perfect today. It was like rural spring in a nut shell. A low traffic/no traffic stretch, some nice rolling hills to get up out of the saddle on, a warmish breeze, and the smell of hay, manure, and mud in the air. I'm not gonna lie to you... I love that smell. The only spring smell I dig more is honeysuckle. That shit makes my loins antsy.


The only real downside to my ride was the lack of photos. I clicked a few here and there, but the creative constipation is even blocking that orifice up right now. So just one pic that I liked of a marshy area along the road and the ever popular "here's what mud spatter on knee warmer-ed legs looks like" photo. Oh well... I did get a 2 hour ride in. I fully expect to get a bunch of hits from some freaky foot fetish folks that dig crooked toes, veiny feet, toe jam, and talon like nails. Might be time for a pedicure. Or would that my too Cabriolet driver like?

Tomorrow is a day off from most everything except a bit of work (I hope). B-Man is off school due to parent teacher conferences, so I will be Uber Dad (at least as much as I can be). Speaking of B-Man... super mad terrific props to him for a stellar first grade report card, and an amazing year so far at school! We had our conference with his teacher tonight and couldn't be more proud of him.

Now to go turn my garage into a sweat lodge, fire up some incense and meditate in hope that my creative juices start flowing.

Later.

Tacky Implosions

I wasn't going to ride today... but it was sunny, and temps were going to be like 50! How could I not escape the house for at least a short square? So I hurriedly stuffed my ass into the bibs and got on the layers (since it was still only in the low 40s when I left), BUT put on a REGULAR shoes. NO Munster Boots! Sweet.

Tip sheet to remind me of some key roads, so as not to
end up in Canada, Ohio, or a Great Lake of your choice.

So out the door with the CX bike (again), to some pavement, then to some dirt, and of course spring mud. Much of it packed and tacky (see above), and much of it was sinking (see below), but the Jake was plowing through with all my girth behind it, so there was no real issue.

Be the worm.

Found some nice little rollers on some new sections of road, didn't avoid many embedded dirt road pot holes, then hit the pavement to get back home PDQ. A super short 25 miles, but a super short 25 miles is better than 0 miles on a sunny day after the winter we've had.

As I rolled through campus on my way home I could hear the warning signs of unhappy spokes. Sure enough, when I got home and checked I have about 6 loose spokes on the Mavic Aksiums. These wheels just do NOT like rough roads. Sure I hit my share of pot holes with 'em, they can't be avoided at times, but damn you put wheels on a cross bike, you would think they would be a bit tougher. I guess they're more for cross courses and not not pot holed, bombed out Michigan farm roads. Another reason to ride my mountain bike! ;)

On the subject of my girth... (we were talking about it, right?)... I haven't weighed myself in a while, I had started some medication, and there was the potential for some weight gain, and I just didn't want to deal with seeing the numbers on the rise again. But to my surprise it was about 4 pounds lower than the last time I weighed in, and I am (at least for today) out of the clydesdale class! WOOT!! WOOT!! I guess there is something to be said for getting OUT of the freaking gym and ON the freaking bike.

Later.

Nearly Fiddy

Monday brought a tight schedule around the house, so an hour at the gym was all I had available to me. But good enough after the weekend's freezing two-wheeled sloggings. I will be happy to not set foot in the gym for a while, I do know that. But that was Monday, this is Tuesday, and everyone knows the feel of Tuesday* is second to none (but Monday I guess?). Hell, even the word Tuesday is derived from the Latin- nulli secundus. It's a fact, and you can't argue with Latin facts. Unless I'm wrong I suppose?

Aside from xxcmag.com News posts, I have been in a work lull (of course as I type I have just had 2 stories for XXC #11 cross my screen), so I took today to hook up some NON soaked to bone, icy, muddy dirt roads with some pavement on the CX bike. On the map it seemed that the ride should have been about 75% pavement. In reality it was about 50-60% pavement. But it was 99.999% great. It was like The Pill of rides.

Pavement turned to dirt (note horse/buggy trax).

Today's square had me on some nice rolling farm road action that eventually turned to rolling dirt roads, which were STILL rocking ice. Dear God, how ephing warm does it need to get to melt that shit, I mean like beyond above freezing? So on top of that sweet rolling pavement, was of course some more rutted butt puckering icy sections.

Baggin' Silos

While temps eventually got warmer than they have been in a while (high 40s), I was still rocking the winter Lakes, and gear (except for balaclava), since at 10:30 a.m. it was still in the low 30s. Most of the ride I was pretty warm, and the dirt roads that weren't frozen weren't nearly has muddy as they could have been. So that was nice.

Frozen Coldwater Lake (I guess the name fits).

The ride was really cool, with some new to me low traffic pavement, some new to me dirt roads, a found blueberry farm, a frozen lake, some sap bucket trees, and in the end a nugget's hair under 50 miles of riding (Stupid 49.5 miles! Seriously... I should have rode around the block or something). The only downside was that even though there were a TON of roller to test the legs, the total elevation gain was less than half of what my old 30 mile loop in Western PA was. But on the other hand I rode longer, saw way less traffic, and have a little more fun due to that. So that's not too bad.

Gettin' Sappy

The unforeseen amount of dirt and gravel slowed me down a bit, but it was a real nice combination of both pavement and dirt and I was pretty stoked on the loop, er I mean square. I am still pretty anxious to get some riding in wearing regular shoes instead of the big ass Lake Herman Munster boots, and less layers. But that should come in due time. And oh yeah.... The cross bike was the perfect bike for today. See, I told you I would change my mind. I'm an idiot.

And in closing and off subject- congrats to my sister in-law and her husband on the birth of their son Ivan yesterday. Welcome to the world little buddy. Fasten your seat belt. It's gets pretty crazy now.

Later.

*Note: I am actually neither here, nor there on the feel of Tuesday and can take it or leave it just like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday.

Better? Sure, why not?

I figured I would cap off a so-so week of "doing stuff" with another attempt at riding the snirt roads outside of town. But this time use the right tool for the job- my hard tail 29er, the Salsa Ti El Mariachi. It just got new pads and cables on, so what better way to break them in, than taking it out in the snow, ice, slush, mud, grit, grime, gravel, mud, and water of my local dirt roads.

With temps in the high 30s, I once again went into the ride with hopes of my newly mapped nugget hair under 50 mile ride. But once again, I failed. Was it better than yesterday's 17 miles of fail? Yeah, sure, why not? It was longer by 18 miles so I guess that counts for something.

I did make it to the rollers out on Littlefield that I wanted to do yesterday, but as I anticipated they were 90% covered in ice, slush and snow. Meaning that taking any momentum into the "climb" was accompanied by a lot of bung puckering and a lot of praying, since one false move in a rut would mean scraping the ice with my face or worse.

I felt MUCH more comfortable on the pot holed and icy roads atop the 29er than I did yesterday on the Jake, but no matter how comfortable I felt with the bike, it couldn't stop the perpetual spray of ice cold water and mud up my poop chute, and all over the rest of me. It did not take long to feel like one big wind chapped, soggy assed, ice cold turd. So after the rollers on Little field I decided to loop back to Millbrook, back to Deerfield (paved), Deerfield (dirt) and pavement home. Ending with 35 miles, 15 miles short of the goal.

A great ride? Not by a long shot, but once again, I avoided the trainer and ended up with over 9 hours of "doing stuff" on a week that had me still recovering from illness and on antibiotics. I will say this- I AM SICK TO FRIGGIN' DEATH OF BEING COLD!! I have not been "hot" on a ride since about September of 2010. Each ride seems to end with me having a wind chapped face, baboon butt red thighs, numb toes, hard nips and shrinkage so bad I look like one year old who just saw the late Bea Arthur naked. It MUST end!!! OK, I needed to get that off my chest. Sorry.

A side note: today was full of wildlife, always a nice thing. A herd of white tail deer, the sounds of turkey gobbles in the fields and the sound of birds chirping! Been a while since I've heard the birds chirping, and usually once you hear that it means spring and warmer temps is not far off. God I hope so.

Time to warm up.

Later.

When A Ride Fails. Sort Of.

This week has been a series of ups and down with "doing stuff." Gym, a great 35 mile ride on the Barry-Roubaix course, more trainer time. Curses! I planned to ride today as long as the weather cooperated. It did... sort of. So, after a relaxing Friday night of a few beers and video games, and a morning of sitting around mapping out a route, over coffee and eggs, I had a plan. Take the cross bike out on the dirt, rolling some hills, and getting close to 50 miles in.

Yeah. The plan didn't happen.

By the time I stuffed my expanding and sagging (how is that even possible??) ass into my bibs, it was spitting some sort of rain/snow/ice pellet type precipitation. No big deal. And the wind was picking up. Again, no big deal. So I rolled on, a few block up toward the university, and then out of town towards the dirt roads. A right turn onto the dirt and I was hatin' life. Deerfield, was riddled with pot holes bigger than my head, normally no big deal, as I have been riding my 29er for months now on these roads. But TODAY for SOME reason, I thought riding the cross bike was a grand idea. It wasn't. At ALL.


I kept thinking the NEXT dirt road would be better, that the middle wouldn't be riddled with pot holes, and that the sides wouldn't be soft power sucking mud that I could barely get a grip on. But each turned proved to suck harder at the teet of suck than the next and even started adding in long stretches of ice. Brilliant.


The ride was jut not going to happen. I was 10 miles in and I knew that there was no way 50 was happening. I was miserable. Not with my fitness, not with the roads, cold or ice pellets smacking me in the face. Just with my bike choice. What the hell was I thinking. Christ, I had even notice during my last ride that I was getting almost full travel on my fork on some of these roads, and never even blinked at the rutted ice patches. Where as today, my hand hurt and my ass was more puckered than a lemon sucking contest in a gay bar (I have NO idea what that means).

Knowing that South Littlefield's hills would surely be iced over since they are mainly in the shade, I let out an audible "fuck it," and turned right and hit pavement to take me back to Deerfield and the road back home. I probably should have just kept riding pavement, but I have only done ONE road ride here ever, and without a cue sheet really don't know where the hell I am going.

In the end a ride that was to be nearly 50 miles was about 17. And I rode home thinking that I hate my road bike, and I hate my cross bike. But I LOVE my El Mariachi. I love riding my 29er HT more than any bike I have really ever owned. I am half tempted to start selling shit off for a second full rigid 29er that would be my "road" hard tail. I admit it, I like flat bars, I like disc brakes, I like wider tires. I will never enter a road race, I don't do road group rides, I have no real desire to race cross, and if I do get that desire I can use said hard tail 29er. While I know I won't get rid of both the road bike and the cross bike, one of them may be on the market in the future. Orrrrr, I am just pissed that I didn't wait out the winter (yeah, it's still freaking winter!!!), ride my 29er and save the cross bike for once the roads are grated and more cross bike friendly.

OK, enough negative waves. I got out on the bike, off the trainer and out of the gym. Sure it didn't turn out like I wanted, but I had some fun, got a few neat pics, and blew some stink off me.

Time to drink a couple beers, watch some hockey, play some Wii, and do some reading. I found a bookstore here in MP today, and it had the Bike Snob book, so I bought it. Then cook up some food.

Later.

Blank Stare. Exhale Sigh.

This week has been great, and this week has been crap. Tuesday was of course just a freaking gem of a day. 35 miles of dirt roads on the Barry-Roubaix course, a stop at Founders, and more. Wednesday brought more ice and snow back to central Michigan. Not a lot, but it sure as hell didn't take anything away either. Even looking at the 10 day forecast there is only ONE day that even pretends that it might know the cousin of the brother, whose sister dated 50 degrees. And that is 46! UG!! It's like the endless winter! (Sanity Updated: I just saw on weather.com that the Pgh. area is bracing for rain, and a possible 4 to 6 inches of snow! Good for them! LOL! Now I don't feel so alone up here!).

I was at the shop today and the co-owner (Napper) was also bitching about the weather. He says "this is the worst winter we've had here in a LONG time." Great! It picks the winter I move my ass here. Grrrrr!!

More mushy snirty road riding in the future.

So what does all this mean? Well, nothing really. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing- riding the snirt roads when I can, hitting the gym, and riding the trainer. And that is what I have done this week, and will be doing through the weekend, and the next week... and the next week... and the next week... Christ, we should have just moved to Alaska. At least then I would have the outside chance that a grizzly bear would bite my head off! LOL!

Really, it could be worse... I guess. But damn I am jonzing for some single track and from the looks of it, it's gonna be at least another 3 or more weeks. My first MTB race of the year is April 9, and right now, I just can't imagine the trails will be good to go by then. Gosh-darn-son-of-a-buck!

Should have the Barry-Roubaix course preview video up on xxcmag.com later or tomorrow. 35ish miles in 11:30! LOL! (It's up on the site now...).

Later.

That Is More Like It

The Illness of 2011 is just about kicked in the ass! And it couldn't have come at a better time, as I had a "business ride" schedule with Mr. Barry-Roubaix- Rick P. today. The plan was to ride the 35 mile Barry-Roubaix course, and shoot some course preview video for a couple websites. But the course conditions, my physical condition and my ability to actually capture some worthwhile helmet cam video was questionable.

But as luck would have it, the antibiotics kicked in, the course was 100% rideable, baring one snow covered two track that I rode on my mountain bike, but Rick opted to not attempt on this CX bike, and most of the video I shot can be used! Sweet!

The course starts on some pavement from the park, then you hit some flattish dirt, but then things get lumpy, and LUMPIER, and before you know it you have just put in 2,000+ feet of climbing in 35 miles. The course was a mixed bag of everything today: dirt, snow, ice, water, mud, gravel, pavement, and more mud. In other words it was FUN! I used my 29er hard tail, and as I mentioned Rick used his cross bike. If the conditions on race day are as they were today I will use my mountain bike for sure. I just feel more comfortable in these conditions on the wider tire and with flat bars and discs. Buy hey, that's just me. Then again, come race day I might change my mind.

The "lumps" are of course lovely lady lumps... er,... I mean hills! Yes! Barry Roubaix has climbing! And hills! Don't get me wrong, we're not talking about 45 minute mountain ascents. But they add up quick in the 35 mile loop, and if you add in the wet soul and power sucking dirt that the roads featured today it felt a lot harder. The pic of Rick above was on one on the worst stretches. We are on the flat at this point, but the ride up the steeper other side of those lump were a bitch. They were a mix of snow, slush and soft "I think I have a flat" mud. But with the warmer temps (by warm I mean Michigan 40 degree warm) and rain in the forecast, the snows should be gone soon and the the course can really start it's drying out process. At least I hope. Either way the course is a blast, and the race is gonna be sweet way to kick off the 2011 season. There is still plenty of time to register, so get your buttocks over to Bikereg.com and get on it.

Soon we were back on pavement, and back to the car. A quick change and we were on the road, with one super cool stop to make- lunch at Founders Brewery! SWEET! I was tested, but I was very good though and only had ONE Oatmeal Stout, thus sort of almost sticking to my weekday beer ban. But a four back of Imperial Stout found it's way into my possession for the weekend! (Thanks Rick!).

I will say after riding the 35 mile version of the Barry-Roubaix, I am very glad I didn't sign up for the 60+ version. 35 miles is gonna be just swell for me in March! Plus I can get the race done quick, get changed, get some beer, and then get try to get into journ-o mode to get some race footage and interview type stuff.

Now to sift through the video, put it all together, find some muzak, etc., Gonna be a few days, but I am looking forward to it.

Gotta get some sleep.

Later.

Not So Much

The Illness of 2011 has reached Day 10. Feeling a bit better than I have been, and now on an antibiotic, so that should help kick this shit in the ass. Still sort of feel like Jabba The Snot though.

Despite my sickly Jabba-ness, I somehow dragged my ass to the gym today. I am pretty through with the gym, but illness and time didn't allow for an outside ride today, and I had been on the trainer for 4 straight days. A 5th day might have had me sucking on a gas pipe. I did my cardio, did some weights and then got the hell out of there. Didn't spend much time pissing around. Plus there was an unusually large amount of testosterone in there today. It's usually a pretty mellow family type place, but there were a couple guys that easily weighed 300+ pounds lifting weight that looked like it equaled a small bus, screaming out turd inducing grunts, slamming the weights down, high-fiving and shit. It was sort of uncomfortable. It was like watching freaking animals in the zoo. Didn't dig that vibe.

Random bike related stuff:

- The new skewers and top cap came for the Spearfish today. So it's at least looking pretty sweet. I can't wait for the trails to be in shape to test it out and play with the suspension.

- I was looking at my tentative race plans for the spring and summer. Looks like I won't race an endurance race until May 14th when I plan to do a 6 hour. Before that I have the 32 mile Barry Roubaix (gravel), the Rust Shaker (XC), and most likely the Yankee Springs TT (XC). That actually isn't so different from my norm I guess, since I would usually start my season off with the Leesburg Bakers Dozen in early April, but since it seems that Michigan's spring is about a month behind PA's, it sort of evens out. Yeah, sure... evens out.

The part where I race XC is very out of my norm though. I'm looking at it as nothing more than a way to get in race shape and ride some new to me trails.

- Once the XXC stuff kicks in, there are a couple hundies, a marathon or two, a couple 6 hour races, some planned gravel recons, and some epic single track rides planned. A real hodgepodge of endurance type events and rides.

- Illness or no illness I am scheduled to do some gravel riding tomorrow with a sort of local promoter type person. Hopefully that all turns out and the weather cooperates by not being TOO snowy or too nippy for my Jabba-ness. Anxious to ride.

- While my bike related posts seem to be slowing down here on the Chamois, pleas check out the News section of XXCMAG.COM, as I have been updating that blog/news way more, and don't want to be double posting, that's just stupid.

Oh well, that's all I got.

Later.

Now It's Just Getting Silly

The illness of 2011 continues, but made a bit bearable (or should I say "breathable?") by taking some Claritin D to open up my shnoz. Which brings me to a rant: This whole illness started last weekend with a bout of drunken old man at a chili buffet type diarrhea. So I was taking Imodium to stop the flow. The pills were packaged in a way that you had to fold back the pill wrapper, rip, and then have the wrapper fail. Then get out scissors to open the damn thing, and in the process turn the pill to dust. Meanwhile you're trying to hold back the hoover damn buster of shits.

Then yesterday I go to buy the Claritin, I needed I.D, phone numbers, my mother's maiden name, finger prints, and a copy of my birth certificate to buy the ephers, because apparently people make meth or something out of them. OK fine, I produce all that jazz, buy them, get home open them up and just pop a pill right out. WTF? Pill to stop the poop = clusterfuck. Pill that junkies grind down to make meth = pops right out. Rant off. Sorry.

Headed back down to Terry's Cycle yesterday with B-Man to get my El Mariachi. Napper was bleeding some brakes, and replacing some shiz on it. In the process of his repairs he discovers that a couple pawls on my less than a year old Hope freehub are broke. Great. As I walk in he was sifting through some shards of metal to see if he could fabricate some on his own. Nice! In the end, I'm just gonna run it though the (never f*cking ending) winter as is, and then get a replacement in the spring. In less of course he rigs something up.

So with the Spearfish in hand, the cross rig ready to roll Michigan gravel, and the El Mariachi ready to throw down, I was feeling pretty spanky in my crime fighting loins last night about the coming season. Plus it was raining and washing away the snow.... YEAH!

I woke up to snow on the ground and smart ass social network comments by D-POW. I hate everyone. Well, almost everyone. So I ended up on the trainer for an hour today. I had grandiose dreams of 2 hours on it, but with the Illness of 2011 in my face, that was not going to happen. Even though I felt pretty damn not bad whilst pedaling away in the basement, I knew it would not be wise.

A pretty shit week with on the "doing stuff" side of things with only about 4 hours in my legs, but I DID pick up a sweet new ride for 2011, get a ton of updates done on the xxcmag.com site, and deal with being sick. Still lame though.

ONE good medical type thing happened this week- I was at my Doc's the other day, and he was going over my recently completed cholesterol tests. Telling me what all the numbers meant. He said mine were perfect, whatever I am doing to keep doing it, and that most people would kill for numbers like mine. Sweet!! Of course that still leaves me with blood clots, tinnitus, bad hearing, weight gain, and a number of other issues. But hey, my freaking cholesterol is PERFECT! Baby stepping .... Baby stepping....

Tonight I am having a few beers and sacrificing a lamb to Old Man Winter in the hopes that he will let spring come to the frozen tundra of central Michigan. For some reason, I have the strange feeling that all I will end up with is a kitchen covered in lamb's blood and snow covered trails.

Later.

This Can't Be The Countdown

Not much has changed since my last post. It's still cold, there is still snow on the ground and I am still sick, but at least rode the trainer for an hour today. That sucked. But listening to a hodgepodge of fuzz pop from Telekinesis and Best Coast made the ride, if not me, better. There is nothing like being sick for a week to make you feel like all the work you did all winter is going down the drain. UG! I'm off the back of the mid pack and the races haven't even started yet!

I realized that in after this post there is only 9 more posts until I hit 2,000 posts. 2,000. Damn! Shit better start melting and I better get riding and racing, 'cause I sure would hate for my approach to my 2,000th post be about riding the trainer or being sick and blowing blood snot rockets on the frozen icy Michigan tundra as I waddle into the gym.

In lighter, green news...
I did order up some small parts last night to UN-Montana my Spearfish.

Now I just wish that I would have RE thought getting an Orange X.O rear derailleur. Works great, but that is REALLY gonna bother my artsy fartsy-ness.. Of course in a couple years, I will be saying the same thing about the green accents! LOL!

Speaking of all this green, I need to go blow my nose and go to bed.

Later.

Things Happening. Or Not...

After 2 or 3 days of fighting stomach issues, then riding in the cold for two-fitty on Saturday, it's official- I'm sick. Not horrible, bed bound shit, just achy, sinus, stomach issues shit. Could be worse, but could be better... like I could not be sick. I blame Wifey. And B-Man.. and YOU!

I tried to ride on the trainer today and just had nothing. No power in the legs at all, and even less mental power to WANT to ride the f*cking trainer. I mean riding the trainer is bad enough, riding the trainer sick is just stupid. The only thing that could make it worse is riding the trainer, sick, while being forced to watch political talk shows. So I bailed at 20 minutes, and went to Terry's Cycle in Alma to pick up my Spearfish.

Napper did a great job getting the Dos torn down and the Fish built up. I am very anxious to try this bike out. I am not huge in to FS bikes, but the opportunity presented itself to roll a Salsa Spearfish, so I took the chance. Even more than that, I found I had no need for a comfy Ti HT and a Dos, there was just not a big enough difference in comfort to warrant having two bikes so similar. Since I LOOOVE my El Mariachi, the Dos is taking a well deserved break.

The complete (large) bike as shown above comes in at under 27 pounds. I think Mike ("Napper") said it was 26.5 or something on the scale but I wasn't paying that much attention. I was too distracted from the green frame, red skewers, and orange SRAM bits on the bike. I just need some purple on it and I will have a bike worthy of Montana's "Rainbow Bright" in a train wreck fleet of bikes. Right now I would ride a freaking Huffy, if it meant I was riding dirt and NOT freezing my ass off!

Onward and sideways...

So what does a bored, sick cyclist, with a new bike and snow STILL on the ground and STILL in the forecast do? Enter more races of course. Maybe it was the fact that I got real tired of say "No, I did NOT race the Iceman" last year, I'm not sure, but I found myself entering the race today (I'm such tool bag- going back to a FS bike, entering races because of state wide peer pressure... Freaking lemming). The epher doesn't even go down until November! But like the saying goes... "When in Michigan, do as the Michigan-burgher-ite-ders do," which is freeze your tits off 10 months a year, drink great beer, and race the Iceman every fall. LOL! Should be quite a spectacle. Now I just have to keep up my motivation and endure my ability to enjoy race failure all season.

Side note: DId I mention B-Man lost my Snotcycle cap when he borrowed it? Well he did. We are not speaking. Actually we are, but it sounded good to say we're not.

Later.