Feeling Less Stupid

Last week, as I mentioned here, I went for short hike. It was nice, but it felt really stupid (why walk when you can ride?). I also mentioned the only other thing I feel equally stupid doing is racing 'cross (why ride in a park when you can ride in the woods or on dirt roads?). Well I found something that I feel ever stupider doing-- Running.

Like hiking and 'cross, I sort of like running (jogging), but I more like OTHER people doing it (like hiking and 'cross). Sure, I've run on the treadmill, but there I can hide my lack of form, technique, skill, coordination, etc., Yesterday I ran outside. Dear God.

Cardio wise I have no really problem, But damn, I'm was moving like 2 mph. Why not just walk? Or hike! I felt so freaking stupid.

I do this about once ever 1.5 years; think I'm going to take up running. It's just never going to happen. Not as long as I own bikes. I know I will probably go again soon, and I have no idea why. Stupid running. Hell, I can't even run the whole time, I go one block run, one block walk to get my muscles used to it. That makes me feel even dumber.

"Look, fatty fatterson can't run more than one block! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"F*ck you, I CHOOSE not to run!"

Then when I DO start my run, I flail and sort of shuffle and I'm never real shore what do with my arms. It's a scene.

Today though, I felt way less stupid. Not because my running improved (f*ck that), no I felt way less stupid 'cause I got on the bike and in the woods for 21 miles of woodsy, non running, non hiking goodness.

Yeah, my legs felt like I was caned by angry mob of old men due to the stupid run, but once they got warmed up, it was aces. I heart mountain biking.

The path to happiness and being less stupid is paved with...
well it's not paved, it's just dirt.

Later.

Making Up For Lost Miles

Saturday's ride was a good time, but not really what I had in mind, so I needed to make up for lost miles and time on Sunday. The easiest way to do that, especially after sleeping in late, is to hit the dirt and gravel roads. So that's what I did.

Did a 52ish mile ride with an insane 845 feet of elevation gain! By insane, I of course refer to the suckness of the elevation gain and lack there of. Damn.

There is no way I can talk up 845 feet of elevation gain over 52 miles, but I will try. This particular loop/square/lollipop/figure 8 of a ride has many lumps, hills (I hasten to call them "climbs") and slow sandy grinds, including one mapmyride.com issued Cat 5 climb! Ha! Even with the hills and sand, there was never a need to shift out of the big ring up front (although I do have a 44 on it rather than a 46). There were a couple hills that it may have been more efficient to have done so rather than stand and mash through the loose gravel and sand. This technique made for some tired legs, but in the end I think it helps. Where back in PA, I might have shifted into my small ring and spun up a climb, here I take them out of the saddle.

OK, so what did we learn here? There is not much climbing on my gravel rides, but because I pretty much suck, the Isabella County lumps sort of hurt. Also, I think I failed at talking up the ride. Ha!

Having said all that, it was a nice ride and these rides even with their lack of big climbs have helped me stay in fairly good race condition (please note, that "good race condition" for me means that I can still finish in the mid pack!).

Speaking of the gravel roads, etc., This Sunday (September 4th) commemorates my first ride (other than the 2009 Lumberjack) on Michigan soil, which also the last time I rode my road bike on Michigan soil! All the rides I've done here have been on my mountain bikes or my Jake The Snake.

This all has me thinking of ...

A. Selling my road bike.

B. Making some upgrades to the Jake (brakes, pedals, crank, stem a a few other items).

or

C. Doing A. and then upgrading to a more dedicated gravel oriented bike (there are more than a few yummy ones out there). While I wish the Jake had disc brakes, some better stopping pads might help too and keep the weight down. Something that would be harder to do with some of the disc brake gravel rigs out there. Too bad V brakes aren't more cross frame friendly (BTW I have used the Problem Solvers Travel Agent adapter on a cross rig in the past, worked pretty OK, but was sort of a bitch too.

Most likely D. will happen, and D. is I shut up and keep riding the bikes I have.

Today (Monday) I ran, outside. It was stupid and I hate it. There was some walking involved since I am just introducing running back to my 40 year old body. Did I mention it was stupid. Tomorrow I ride.

Later.

Losing The Trail: A Backtracking Good Time

Saturday I went in search of some singletrack that some folks talked about on the MMBA forums and that a shop over in Midland supposedly does a ride at. I had time, perfect weather and a map, how hard could it be?

I found the parking spot, with no real issue as well as the first section of singletrack. It was a bit more grown over than most of the trails that I have ridden here, but the trail was easy enough to follow, so follow I did.

What's a parking spot with a little discharged artillery?

Soon I was on some doubletrack and then back at the main road. Hmmm, me thinks I missed something. OK, I'll just look for the main trail that folks were talking about. Up and down the main forest road I went. Nothing. I consult the map, take a ATV trail. Bingo, found the trail!

.5 miles later I'm on two track. Where'd the trail go?? Down the two track I went nebbing around looking for it. Nothing. I backtrack. Go further down the ATV trail and end up at some giant sand pit playground for ORVs. The map says there should be trail to the right here. I bushwhack, get cut up from thorns. Nothing. I backtrack.

Back to the main forest road. Consult the map, find a hunk of trail, I take it. It's pretty good, but with a lot of low branches. If folks are riding this, they must all be midgets or something, 'cause my 6'1" bod keeps having to stop and duck under stuff.

The trail goes left, I am confident that I am on the right trail and start to enjoy it. Then it ends right where I started right by the bone of some dead animal (I hope it was an animal). Frig.

Once again I am on the main forest road. At this point I decide to eph the singletrack and just keep riding the main forest road taking ATV trails etc., just to get some miles in.

This works out OK, until after about 2 miles the road turns to grassy private property two track. Feeling defeated, and not wanting to get a buckshot in my ass, I backtrack.

Once on the main road, I ONCE again consult the map, the creek is here.... the trail runs along the creek... and crossed the road right here. Where is it? There is nothing on the left! Wait, what's this on the right... AN ORANGE RIBBON! TRAIL!!

OK, after 18 miles of dead end singletrack, game trails and ATV roads I have FOUND this mythical trail. Finally.


It starts crappy, but gets better, then worse. I am unimpressed.

The trail is OK, but littered with sticks and again with the low hanging branches. But parts are cool and I am happy to be on the trail, I figure it will get better.

It doesn't.

First I encounter the work of angry wood thirsty beavers.

Then there is some rotting bridges that do NOT appear that they will hold 200 pounds of lycra clad cyclist.
There are a ton of small sticks and limbs laying about and I pray that my rear derailleur does not fall victim as I continue on.

The trails is supposed to have a left just before it nears a highway overpass that takes you to the trail on the others side of the creek. I could not see a left, so I figure I wold take the trail under the overpass and cross further down as the map showed.

This turned into a bushwhack through tall grass and hike-a-bikes up barely distinguishable trail. Eventually I can't find the trail. I backtrack.

Trail?

Need a little blood to make the day complete, I just wish this would have come from hard riding, not being gouged by sticks as I bushwhacked.

On the trail I pass the beaver downed trees and see a small offshoot to an ATV trail going in the same direction of the trail. I've had enough of this trail, I'm taking the ATV trail.

This made for quick time, with on the occasional stop to dodge frog filled mud bogs.

Soon I was back to the main road, I pedaled back to the xB disappointed not to have found this "50 miles of flowing singletrack," but happy with a little Saturday adventure and forced to be content with just 25+ miles or riding over what must have been 3 or more hours of riding, bushwhacking and backtracking.

I have no plans to return to those trails unless accompanied by someone who knows exactly where we are going and promises me that I won't have to ride with my face down to the bars to avoid decapitation. I don't doubt that there are some killer trails there or COULD be some killer trails there, but I had a hell of a time finding them.

I need to get some miles in now... not sure where I'm going, but I don't plan on backtracking.

Later.

Again with the moving on.

I could post stuff here right now, but I really have nothing of worth. Low key week of riding and busy with the mag and being a dad/husband.

I ran today on the treadmill. It was stupid, but I will probably do it again tomorrow. I also bough light beer for the weekend. That was stupider.

I did get some nice stuff up on the xxcmag.com blog site, that is very much worth taking a look at (UNLIKE, this blog).

OK, gotta split, here's another pic.

Took this during some Copper Harbor chamois soilage on some ATV road.

Later.

Keep Calm & Carry On

Was in a mind/fitness/weight/career funk yesterday. Went to bed super early last night, laid in bed watched football highlights on FootyTube and then looked a porn. Ah, um bike porn. Yeah, bike porn.

Had my normal night of sleep 'till 4 a.m. wake up, lay there for an hour, fall back to sleep and get up an hour and a half later. Frig. ONE night of solid sleep would be sweet. Frig. I

t was still relaxing in its own way and I felt semi refreshed this morning. Bonus. B-Man had a sitter today, so that gave me a chance to get some work done and go for a ride. I headed up to MMCC to ride a couple laps on the Spearfish. Got parked, got the bike set, tires inflated, shoes one, helmet.... Helmet? Where's my helmet?? NOT in my bike box. Frig.

So I drove one hour round trip to take my bike off the rack, drop an eph bomb, put the bike back up on the rack and leave. Idiot! Came straight home, immediately grabbed my helmet and my CX bike and headed out for 40 miles of gravelishness. Not Plan A, but Plan B was gonna have to work.

There was a steady headwind today, nothing epic, but a pain in the balls. I really felt like I was all over the bike trying to get it up to speed. Oh well, it makes up for the lack of hills I suppose. The bovines didn't seem to care.

Looks like some crap weather coming tonight and tomorrow, but then the rest of the week and weekend looks pretty sweet, I'm gonna need to end the week with some big miles since the riding has been/will be slim during the week.

'Nother vacation pic from when we were out on some sun set boat ride.

Later.

Keep Moving Forward

Back at it today. Writing, blogging on the XXC site, and getting shit together for the next issue of the mag. On top of that I was out mailing back orders, and being Dad all day. There was no ride (that will come tomorrow) but there was a lot of work and a time to reflect on where XXC is going.

Stop reading here, because I am about to vent on some life shit right now. Sorry, but I need to type it.

Ah, forget it, it didn't feel right. I deleted it.

EDIT: So while I'm not gonna go into the blathering that was the post I wrote last night, the main point of it all is this: I hated my old real job, I mean I HHHHHATED it. I LOVE XXC Magazine and what I get to do, but at times I don't know how much more I can do without A. Having to get a new liver B. Lap-Band surgery, or C. Going into some sort of therapy! I need routine to function normally. There is no routine with running your own business. It's not easy. I love being my own boss, but I hate being my own boss. Does that make sense? It doesn't, does it?

Anyway there was more, but after a night's rest and a 40 mile ride, it seems like the best thing I can do is just keep doing what I'm doing but develop a plan for both work and fitness, I need to get a routine which is easier said than done. A steady pay check would be nice too, I'm not gonna lie about that.

Here look at this:

Later.

Stupid Is, Does, Etc.,

Went out with Wifey and some friends on a date night last night. We spent way too much time at The Bird, but had a great time and some good food. Who knew the wonders of the salami sub with shredded cabbage? Not sure but I believe my colon knows as of this morning.

Slept in, tried to catch up on work. Didn't feel like riding due to a taint zit that feels like I am sitting on walnut, so I went for a hike. Hope that phucker pops soon or I'll have to lance the taint. UG!

Hiking... Meh.

Don't get me wrong, hiking is (sort of) cool in that at least you're out and in the woods, but it just feels stupid after mountain biking. The only thing I feel equally stupid doing is racing cross. Again, cross is cool, I just feel stupid doing it, as I am not the fastest or most graceful of riders.

When I hike I find myself thinking "This would be super cool if I was on my bike." And when I race cross, I think "This would be super cool if I wasn't racing in a 2k loop in a park." I find XC racing to be my cross, and cross to be my NASCAR. I watch it, enjoy it, take pictures, drink beer and scream like a shirtless mullet haired nut. Of course at least when I race cross (I have done it a few times in my life and yes, I enjoyed it) I am on a bike, so it gets automatic cred. Hiking is walking, even if it's in the woods. Might as well be power walking with heavy hands or something. Sorry.

Having said all that, Sir Rick Plite's Kiss Cross schedule is out. Check it out if your hammer swings that way and you're from the Michigan area. Not sure I will make any, as they are a bit too far of a drive to race cross, but there is gonna be a few other non Kiss Cross races up at MMCC and Midland I believe, so I will probably do one or two of those if they don't interfere with real riding or racing (or my reason facsimile there of).

This is gonna be a tough week ahead, as Wifey is back to work, I have a TON of xxcmag.com work to do, and B-Man is done with his summer program. Full time Dad + work + stress + weak minded individual (that would be me) = little riding. Oh well, good thing I rode/raced 6 of the last 9 days.

I do need to get the El Mariachi down to Terry's this week, as I think my rear Ignitor will not hold air and my Fox fork feels like a horrible clunking mess right now. I'm thinking rebuild or some such thing. Feels and sounds like shit, that's all I know.

OK, gotta go clean my Jake The Snake.

Later.

Going Forward Before I Go Back

I have a ton of stuff to blather about in the coming days due to my trip to the U.P., but for now I will just pick up where I left off.

I had every intention of riding today, and prepared for the morning as such. Coffee, bagel and eggs, dump out(s), etc., Then I check the weather and see the storms coming. EPH! Then it got REAL dark here in MP. EPHHHH!! Then nothing. Sweet! Another check of the radar shows that the storms just missed us. There was more coming from the West, but I was pretty sure I had time to squeeze in a quick 35 to 40 mile ride.

I was pretty pumped to get out after I thought I wouldn't be able to, so soon after I chamoised up it was on the bike and on my way... About 4 blocks from my house I was cruising up Franklin, I saw a car coming from my right, but it knew they had a stop sign and I did not. Hmmm... Well it seems that the young co-ed and he friend did NOT see the stop sign and blew right through it. I swerved, they swerved and I truly thought I was done for. I have not come this close to TRULY being hit in a LONG time and it happened just 4 blocks from my house. All I could get out of my mouth was "STOP SIGN! YOU HAD A STOP SIGN!!" But that was it. My heart rate was out of control. I wanted to be so mad, but I couldn't... not yet. I just thanked God to be still upright and NOT road kill or another statistic. Breath... breath... breath... relax. OK, just ride.

A couple miles later when I hit the dirt roads I completely forgot about her and almost... what's the word for it?.... Getting FREAKING KILLED!!! After a week of doing nothing but riding my hardtail mountain bike on the climbs of the U.P. it was nice to ballz out hammer on the pubescent lumps we call hills here in central Michigan. The legs felt good and the air was amazingly still, it is NEVER still here. There is ALWAYS at least a moderate to strong breeze. But today there was not. This can't be good.

A few miles later the sky started to get dark again "oh boy" I thought. Better giddy up. Nose down, hands in the drops, keep the pace strong! The legs burned, the lungs were filled with dust and my mind thought back to the dunce that almost ran me over. PUSH!! RACE PACE!! I was shocked to look down and see speeds of 24 to 25 mph on the flats, on gravel! On a CX bike! Strange. It's getting darker. Shit.

I imagined the clouds as a chase group in the Tour. An elite group of strong riders that also happen to be mythical gods of thunder, lightning, rain and wind. "I can do it, I know I can! Keep pedaling, shove this impending storm up their mythical asses!! Shove it in the face of the stupid idiot that almost crushed you on Franklin!!" I was sure I had them beat. Mile 22... mile 28... "KEEP PUSHING IT FAT ASS! PUT YOUR BELLY INTO IT!!!!!" mile 30.... Then mile 33. The catch. Damn it. Beaten.

The rain started, lighting struck in the distance, low rumbles of thunder and the winds picked up. I sat up and enjoyed the light drizzle as I crept back close to town where I was less concerned that I would be struck by lighting and fried.

Mile 37.6: Home. I pulled in the driveway, un-clipped and got the bike inside. Then things got much darker, much windier and the rain started coming down hard. But I was home. I take the weather holding off as a sign of respect from the chase group, a passing tap on the back if you will. Well done Thor, Perkūnas, Aeolus and Tlaloc.... well done.

It's nice to be home.

Later.

P.S. I can be angry now: To the chick that almost killed me: LICK MY SOILED CHAMOIS!! DUNCE!!

Ore to Shore Race Recap

This is so far after the fact that I barely care about it anymore, let alone think anyone else would care (not sure ANYONE ever really cares anyway, but I type this shit anyway). My Internet connection on vacation was the worst. I think it was dial Up, which means it was only slightly worse than the Cable ISP I pay out the ass for here in Mount P.

Friday: Wifey, B-Man and I loaded up the xB, and headed to Marquett, MI for the Ore To Shore. I have heard about this race for years, but never lived just 5 hours away from it. This year was different.

It was cool to check out Marquette. My Dad was in the Air Force and stationed there back in the 60s, so I have heard him talk about it for years. It was way bigger than I expected, but it still had some nice charm in parts of the downtown.

We stayed in one of the worst hotels/motels I have ever been in (I won't mention any names E-C-O-N-O-L-O-D-G-E). I am NOT a picky person when it comes to hotels, especially before a race, I mean who could forget the Days Inn bloody wall booger? But I wasn't paying $129 a night for the bloody booger!! The room smelled of cigarettes (it was a non smoking room), B.O. and feet (and that was BEFORE I had a chance to unleash my own stink!) Oh yeah, I guess I paid for the "lake front view?" Ha! I had to walk down the hall, out the door and around the side of the building to see the lake which was across a 4 lane highway. UG!! This of course was all my own fault, since I THOUGHT I had already made a reservation at the Super 8 months ago. Turns out I didn't. So I had to scramble and take the first thing that I could find, which as it turns out, wasn't much. Oh well, I was there to race.

Packet pick up was nuts. Thousands of racers (48, 28, and 10 mile racers) lined up to get in the local gym to pick up numbers and shwag bags. I thought I would be there for hours, but it turns out the line went pretty damn fast and before I knew it I was out for dinner, and feeding my fat face.

After pizza and a couple beers downtown it was back to our reeking of sweaty girls gym locker room hotel room for a semi good night's sleep.

Saturday morning Wifey and B-Man drove me up to Negaunee for the 48 mile Ore To Shore Hard Rock start. As I got the bike ready and warmed up, I finally ran into my friend Ben. I have known Ben for over 2 years via the Internet and e mails, but had never met him in person. Turns out he's a real ass. Kidding of course, he's a great guy, and we would have a chance to catch up later over beers. So that was super cool.

The main street of Negaunee was jammed with racers, I think there were 650 or more racers doing the 48 mile race. Ben had said he was was given the tip to that if you couldn't start near the front, start on the sides of the pack to avoid the most congestion. Well, I was about to put that to the test as I found myself about 300 folks back almost right in the middle of the start pack.

I am somewhere back by the blue building.

The start neared, they played the National Anthem on the PA system. 20 seconds in or so the record skipped and stopped. On cue the whole pack took up the singing. Even a non jingoistic lefty like me thought it was cool. Eventually the record picked back up, but they would have been wise just to let it go and keep that moment going.

BANG! The race starts and we're off. 600+ sets of knobby tires whirling on the pavement and snaking through Negaunee. Wifey said that there was actually a breeze blowing as the pack whirled by. I wouldn't know, I was just trying to not let any knob heads jack me up .25 miles into a 48 mile race.

Off pavement and onto some dirt roads and two track we went. Each hill the pack seemed to thin out a bit, and I continued to work my way through the midpack. Then the midpack would work its way up through me.

The O2S had a bit of everything: pavement, dirt roads, 2 track, quad trails, XC ski trails, sand, and some singletrack. I like that kind of race. There were a few hike a bike type sections along Misery Hill, but they weren't nearly as bad as I thought.

I relied on just two bottles of CarboRocket 333, and a hunk of banana an Aid Station worker handed me as I road through Aid #3 I believe. I almost went with a hydration pack, but I REALLY hate racing with a pack, so I opted to not use it. In the end I never missed the pack. But I did drain both bottles by the finish.

I found myself feeling really good the whole race. I am NOT used to feeling like that during a race. Of course I wish my finishing time would have been as fast as I felt like I was going, but alas I am just NOT that fast, and ended up finishing in 3:16:49 and 65th place out of 122 in my age group which is pretty close to mid pack, but not really. Overall I finished 342 out of 674 in the Hard Rock. Again close to mid pack. The funny thing is that I THOUGHT that was pretty fast, but when when you find out 341 folks finished in front of you, and Brian Matter won in like 2:25 or something, it sort of makes you feel like shit. But then you look and see over 330 folks finished behind you and you don't feel so bad!

I was pretty stoked with how my race went. A better starting place would have helped a bit, and not getting stuck behind some rider dismounts would have helped too, but that's all part of racing, and who the hell besides me cares if I finished 20th or 350th? I was just happy to have felt great the entire race without bonking, puking or dehydrating.

Post race. It was a LITTLE dusty out there.

After the race it was back to the Worst Hotel In The World to clean up and then head out to dinner with Wifey and B-Man. After some beers and pizza I met up with Ben(ard) from 22 Cycles at the Bell's Ore To Shore after party at Up Front and had a kick ass time. Maybe too good a time? Nahhhh!!

Next morning after a few cups of coffee and a few Advil it was off to Copper Harbor for the week. More on that soon...

So Much To Answer For

Wow, it's been a LONG time since I last posted. Went to the U.P. for a week, raced the Ore To Shore, had fun there, and then went to Copper Harbor for 6 days. It ROCKED! So along with an Ore To Shore race recap I have a week's worth of riding and travel blogging to do for both this blog and work. For now here is a pic of some of the amazing singletrack I rode in Copper Harbor.

Now I need some sleep, drove 8+ hours today.

Later.

Outish

Got a sweet 40 mile ride in today. Perfect weather, good legs, and the want for the week to be over so I/we can head off to the Ore To Shore and a week of riding in the U.P. I am a HORRIBLE vacationer, but I am hoping with the race, and all the riding I can do my mind will be distracted from being away from my crib and my routine.

No Hunting/trespassing signs are the #1 road side signage in these parts. I don't argue with 'em, just take pictures of them.

This tractor was hauling a trailer full of cow shit. Gravel Road Rule 4.3b- Keep a safe, and dung spatter free distance from the dung trailer. NO one wants to wipe shit off their face.

I'm out. Time to attempt to have fun on vacation, get some riding in and do some racing. There is a host of new posts up at xxcmag.com's blog, and may be a few through the week, as I WILL have Wi-Fi in the U.P., and blogging helps keep me sane.

Have a great weekend, ride, race, be safe and all that jazz.

Later.

Pig Day

Started out on my ride today, drove 2 blocks down the road on my way up to MMCC and decided to abort. The xB's brakes have been making some noise and I didn't feel comfy taking it 6 hours away for the coming week with bad brakes. So I turned around, went home and then spent 2 hours at the mechanics so they could tell me that I need new back brakes. Good thing is that I got it there before the rotors got jacked, so that is a bonus.

So today's "me time" was spent in a waiting room and then working. Later when B-Man was home I decided to forget about the ride and how it will or won't hurt the way my legs feel at the Ore To Shore on Saturday by taking B-Man to the Isabella County Fair to see the animals.

I liked the pigs. I took pictures.

I was uneasy that just as we left the pig show exhibit, there was a BBQ stand.
Poor planning or genious?

I liked the pigs. I made a movie.



I still like bacon though.

Still planning out some rides for next week. Hope to do some of the Copper Harbor Fat Tire Fest race course- I found this super cool way to preview the course (this course is the 2010 version). You can't embed it, but you can CLICK HERE TO SEE IT. Done by trailgenius.com.

Time for bed. I have a feeling I will be haunted by swine in my dreams tonight.

Later.

In Due Time

So far this week has sucked the stinky, sweaty side of the chamois. Lots to do, no riding, and little patience for anyone or anything. I might be able to get a ride in tomorrow, but at this point all is written in sand. I long to be one of those positive thinking folks that can find the good in every shit that gets grunted out in their lap, but this is not the week for such day dreams.

The only bright spot in the week, is that once I put this week in the noose, I can go race the Ore To Shore and then on to Copper Harbor for some riding and relaxing. At least I hope, 'cause I sort of hate leaving the house, but I am hopeful the riding will be good and I will see some cool shit. If I'm lucky maybe a bear will lop my head off in the back woods of the U.P.. I kid of course. My tastiest shit is right above my belt line.

Later.

Gravelish Sunday

Had a great night last night hanging out with Wifey and B-Man. Made some chicken tacos, drank a couple/bunch of beers, and watched some Billy The Exterminator. THAT'S LIVIN'!!

We got a nice dose of rain for the first time in forever yesterday afternoon, so I headed out on the dirt and gravel roads today. They had been so dry and sandy that riding them packed down from the rain was a joy.

I wanted to do a 60+ mile ride, but it was sssooooo freaking humid, and my legs were a little dead, so at about mile 30 I decided that a 40 to 45 miles would be good enough.

It felt good to get out on the roads, and just pedal. I took some pics, sweat a bunch and drained two bottles. I've realized once again, that some of my best thinking comes when I'm in the saddle. I wish I could remember 1/2 of the ideas that I have for the mag when I'm out riding. I might have to be like Michael Keaton in the movie Night Shift and carry a tape recorder with me. Nah, that would be dumb. Or FREAKING GENIUS!!!! "Note to self, take over the whole entire f*cking cycling publishing world!!!" OK, you're right... it's dumb.

Back in February I passed this old abandoned farmstead. I wanted to revisit it later in the year when there was no snow, and better light. Well I forgot what road it was on!! (This is why I want the tape recorder!). Well, turns out it's a small section of S. Lincoln that I never ride. I pass it all the time, but always go the other way. Well today, I stopped, took some not very good, 'cause the mid day sun sucks ass pics, and am now writing this so as not to forget- SOUTH LINCOLN ROAD YOU DUMB ASS!!!

I REALLY want to get closer or inside this house to take pics. In the back on the house are a bunch of rotting cars from the 50s and 60s. I would also LOVE to go inside the house. What stories must be in the walls of such an old farmstead. One of the multitude of reasons I love riding in rural Michigan (or ANYWHERE for that matter).

I could go on about the ride, but there really isn't much to say. I rode, I sweat, it was more humid than the nether regions of a fat lady's granny panties in the middle of the Amazon freaking rain forest. I got 48 miles in. I had fun.

Riding bikes is sort of the best thing ever.

Here's my pics...






I love found typography like this No Hunting Sign. Did you ever see the stuff I took at the lighthouse in Manistee? It was uber cool (the type, not my pics).

This was pic was a FAIL.

A pond ripe with green scum, with a turtle sitting on a rock. BUT... A. my zoom isn't good enough (one of the only things I hate about the Canon s95, and B., since I had it on Auto it focused on the flowers and not the turtle. Frig. The cool thing about this stretch of road is that as you ride by all you here is "plop... plop.... plop.." as frogs and turtles dive off rock and the shore to hide.

OK, day off tomorrow, a few low key rides on tap this week then off to the U.P. for the Ore To Shore, then a week at Copper Harbor after. Joy!

Later.

Sweat Shaker XC Race Report

"I love racing but I have been, and always will be a mid pack at best racer. At this point I could probably drink 12 beers and still come in mid pack the next day. A theory I am about to test this weekend as I think I may race the MMCC XC Sweat Shaker race. I kid of course. But not really." - Me

Friday night saw me sort of get into the beers (Torpedo and Dogfish Head Indian Brown in the fridge was too much for me to pass up. I mean one is my former favorite beer in the world (Indian Brown) and one is my current favorite beer in the world (Torpedo if you weren't paying attention).

Having said all that I didn't know what to expect from today's Sweat Shaker XC race. XC racing is not my really my thing, but then again at my age, weight, and talent, not many disciplines of racing are "my thing."

I woke up feeling just fine, apparently making a habit out of drinking more than 6 beers in an evening does something for the tolerance. Of course it also has me thinking that an intervention could be sprung on me at anytime. I kid. Sort of.

The Sweat Shaker took place on the MMCC trails that I always ride (at least twice a week most weeks). There is not a lot of climbing (none really, OK mabe 200 feet or so), but there are a few little climbs to have one hurting briefly. The registration wasn't like most races and I had to think about what class exactly I was racing. It wasn't just Exper, Sport, Beginner. The two lap (22ish miles) Expert/Pro Open was too fast for my ass, so the 2 lap Under 45 class seemed about right.

There wasn't a huge turnout for the race, I believe there is an XC race tomorrow up at Big M so that could have something to do with it, but probably about 60+ folks turned out to race and raise some cash for MMCC. Sadly there was only like 9 people in my class.

We took off down a .5 mile paved road and then into a 2 mile section of singletrack before we would loop around and then do 2 laps of the MMCC course in reverse.

I did a 2 mile warm up on the trails then just spun around a bit until the start. Temps were in the high 70s or 80s (who knows??), it was cloudy and SUPER humid. The non stop singletrack of the course screams for a CamelBak, but Goddamn I hate those things, so I went with a big ass bottle.

I was able to pass a few folks here and there on the opening two mile before the real laps begin, and soon just settled into my pace. The Expert/Pro class was way out in front, a dude I passed, passed me and then it seemed that I rode alone for a good while. Which sucks, because there is no one to chase. So I just rode as fast as I could and hoped for the best.

About 1/2 way through the 1st lap a dude came up behind me (not sure what class he was in). I knew that we were gonna drop into a gully ride about 30 yards and then shoot up the other side. You have to take it super fast, and if you know it's there it's a bonus (I did), as we approached the drop the dude was like right behind but not asking for or taking the pass I offered. I was gonna yell back to tell him to get ready to drop in and out of the gully, but then thought "well, it IS a race, and he's got two eyes, he'll figure it out." We dropped, I geared down and shot up the other side, got hung up for second on the top lip, but kept it going. He did not make out so well. Sorry dude.

After that I just kept it going, got passed eventually by some dude (maybe the drop in dude) not in my class and went out for the second lap.

Eventually I got passed by another dude (again not in my class) but I didn't mind as it gave me someone to chase. I never caught him. I felt all alone out on the trails and just kept hammering as fast as I could, which we ALL know is not that fast. With about 2 miles to go I saw a dude who LOOKED old enough to be in my class on the side of the trail, just getting ready to remount from fixing something. I asked if he was OK, there was no reply so I just hammered as fast as I could (again, not all that fast!).

With about .75 miles to go something was causing me to ghost shift and jack with my cassette. I did NOT want to stop and tried to ride it out. Eventually I had to stop, it was a small sapling wound around my cassette, I yanked it out, hopped on and finished out the race.

I had no idea how I did, I was just glad to know I raced hard and helped support the local race scene. That's enough for me. I changed out of my soaking wet kit, and headed down to the post race BBQ for some dogs and burgers. I hung out with another race friend that I met a couple weeks ago, and watched the awards.

The Under 45 class awards came up, I chatted with Brian, 4th place was announced. "Hey it's the dude I passed when he was remounting his bike with 2 miles to go!!" Could it be?? Could I have got 3rd?????

I did.

I almost started laughing. I mean I NEVER podium. I think 2006 was the last time I podiumed at a race. I guess that if you drink JUST enough beer the night before, get old enough to enter a class like Under 45, know the course, have some luck, and no other fast old dudes show up, you CAN have success racing. LOL!


I think I finished in about 1:46. The dude that won the Pro/Expert did it in about 1:28. GOOD GRAVY!!! I took home $30 for my efforts, which is $30 more than I have earned on the bike since I got 3rd at the 12 Hours of Lodi Farms back in 2005 (when I was younger and a LOT thinner). Ha! $30 vs the $11,000 I have probably spent on the sport in the past 6+ years. Seems about right.

God, I hope NO ONE that reads this thinks I ACTUALLY fancy myself a competitive racer. It was a small turnout, in a small class. That's it. But I do have to say it STILL felt good to podium. If I can get more folks to NOT show up next year I hope to win. Ha!

I love endurance racing, I suck at it, but I still love it. I mean for Christ's sake I devoted my "career" to it. Long rides/races just speak to me, even when I DNF or finish 50th with vomit on my top tube. Still, I find myself drawn to XC racing the way many folks gush on about Cross. It's sort of addicting, and nice to just go balls out, race and be home with enough energy to ride (or race) the next day. I've raced Cross, and I will probably race it again at some point, but given the chance to race on singletrack or in some park... I'm going with the single track, whether I finish mid pack (my place bitches!!) or 3rd (soooo someone else's place). I think I am more cut out to WATCH Cross (which is f*cking blast!) than race it. But like I said above, at this point I don't know if I am cut out for ANY sort of bike racing. That doesn't mean I still don't f*cking love it!!! EVEN when I suck.

Later.

End Of... The Week

The week wasn't exactly what I would have hoped for as far as riding and "doing stuff," but then again who the f*ck cares? I mean I love riding, I love racing, but I have been and always will be a mid pack at best racer. At this point I could probably drink 12 beers and still come in mid pack the next day. A theory I am about to test this weekend as I think I may race the MMCC XC Sweat Shaker race! I kid of course. But not really.

I did get out for a short ride at MMCC yesterday. I hate riding the course in reverse, but that is the direction the race as going so I thought I might as well familiarize myself with the suck.

As I rode, and I as I finished I told myself that I probably wouldn't race on Saturday, that I would rather ride somewhere else and ride longer than 22ish miles.

But then today I found myself at Meijer getting food with B-Man and getting enough cash back to cover my on site registration. WTF? I hate this sport! Ha!

So as of 8:40 PM Friday I am planning on racing the Sweat Shaker tomorrow morning. Sure I may wake up and say "fuck it," but as of now that is my plan. I'd like to not race it, but I somehow feel drawn to it. I mean it's like 25 minutes from my house. How many times can you race a race THAT close to your crib? Not much.

OK, I have 6 more beers to drink to put my theory to the test. Oops, I mean 3 more. My bad.

Later.

The Oh Face

Ohhhhhh yessss.... back on the bike today!!! 38+ish miles of dirt/gravel on the CX bike. Felt damn good, and the crotchial region felt real good as it recovers from the bloodletting of last Saturday's 70 mile ride in/around/through/over the North Country Trail.

Before I go on, it has not gone unnoticed to me that I have probably sunk as low as I could possibly go in discussing my rides and races issues here. I would apologize, but in the end I always think "what the hell did you expect when you came to a site called the Soiled Chamois??" NOTHING good can come from this site, and most likely nothing ever will. It's my cross to bare, so be it. I figure I have ONE female reader (Miff) and one off/on again female reader (Musto), and if you're a dude and get disgusted by my writing you are either A. Not a dude, B., Not riding enough or C. Just a better person than me. Most likely it's C.

Pretty sure these big guys were gonna drag race after lunch.

Every time I see bales of hay I think of the
Rev. Horton Heat song "Bales of Cocaine." EVERY TIME!!

This pic is nothing great. Just an Amish farm selling vegetables and fruit. BUT check out the pontoon party boat in the background! I ASSUME that the boat is getting something repair via the sewing repair service, yet I can't help thinking of a bunch of Amish three sheets to the wind, pissing off the side of that thing on Lake Michigan. I'm probably wrong.

Time for food. I rode today, it was fun. I plan to do it again tomorrow.

Later.

Off The Bike & Fired Up On Pancetta

Damn, I haven't been on the bike since Saturday! Good grief!

Sunday: I needed to let the Little Chap heal up from Saturday. That was a tad painful.

Monday: I had to wait around for the UPS man to drop some documents that I needed to sign for. He came at 4:45 pm. Thanks dude. Thanks a f*cking lot!

Tuesday: I get up and check the weather, there is a whole lot of green/orange/red blobs coming down from north west Michigan, and weather.com is talking about severe storms etc., So I wait... and wait... and wait... And FREAKING NOTHING! We got some light drizzle about 7 pm. Grrrrrrr!!!!! Sometimes I think they just make shit up.

Wednesday: Well it hasn't happened yet, but when it does, I hope my ass is riding somewhere on a bike for eph's sake.

I did get a lot of work done on XXC and xxcmag.com today, but sadly one of the layouts I worked on for 1.5 days, I find I am not all that happy with. So I may scrap it and do it again.

Saturday is the Sweat Shaker XC race up at MMCC. Not sure if I'm down for it or not. I probably will, but I'm not 100% sold on it.

Did you see the new stickers over on xxcmag.com? Well if not, this is them...

3" circles of B&W XXC love. For $2.25 (including shipping) you can get a digital copy of the mag delivered to your e mail box and a 3 pack of stickers delivered to your snail mail box. There's other style too, but these are the least expensive 'cause they're only one color. I actually like these better since they're round die cut ones.

OK, done whoring myself out for today. Sorry, a brother's gotz to try to pay the billz.

Cue superhero in peril voice:

Must.

Ride.

Bike.

Soon.

Can't.

Not.

Ride.

To...mor...row.

Later.