Back At It (About Me?)
One of my mid year goals was to start making The Soiled Chamois less about me, my lackluster racing and all of my issues. Sadly it seems I can't resist, but I will make it brief. I promise.
I've had a nice May so far, and I'm piling up some nice miles and hours. Despite this, I think most of my early to mid season racing is done. I plan to race a race here and there, but most of the races will be gravel type races or XC races or a combination of both including this Saturday's Arcadian Grit & Gravel race which is a combination of double track, gravel and singletrack. I'm just not feeling "right" on the mountain bike.
It seems the lingering shoulder pain from my crash back in March, my continuing back issues and the mental issues associated with all of that have played a bigger part than I thought. Sure go ahead, call me a pussy and I WILL STOMP YOU. Seriously, I will stomp you like an ant.
No... I won't (can't). It just felt sorta good to say that.
Not having mobility in my upper arm and shoulder has been a real pain (pun intended), but racing or not racing I still can't help but ride. It's what I do, not matter my weight or my season's goals.
Not feeling good on singletrack sucks. That is the place where I would go to find the most peace. Now it seems the place I go to remind myself that I'm getting old, that I'm pretty much falling apart physically and mentally and that I can no longer do the things that I USED to do on a mountain bike. In other words most often this season I have come back from mountain bike rides feeling like shit. Not all the time, but often enough.
I really thought I was starting to "comeback" to my mid pack form last year. I was feeling better on the bike, got a ton or riding in and the most racing I have ever done in my life. This year, I have taken a step back (maybe two steps). But I will salvage something from it. While I enjoy racing and riding singletrack, what matters to me most is time on the bike. No matter what the bike, not matter what the surface. Just time on the bike.
A look at mid-may so far...
Later.
posted by Jason @ 6:29 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Jason,
Sorry to hear that you're still not back to where you want to be. You've been through physical issues before and know more than most that the road back is not easy. Just be thankful that you didn't do any major damage to that shoulder that would have put you out of riding altogether during the warm weather riding season.
And I'm sure it does suck not getting your groove on the singletrack (hell, I KNOW it sucks, since I've been in almost the same situation). Riding dirt is the single biggest "recharge" for me and I'd be seriously down if it wasn't doing the trick anymore. But you have the time, place and legs to get in major pavement and gravel miles - which is not a bad thing - and still get in dirt miles too. I hate to say it, but it's all relative - you're not quite 100% on singletrack relative to what you did last year, but compared to a lot of other crochety, wearing-out riders you're doing hella good.
So what if you're not a podium level racer anymore. You've accomplished quite a bit, continue to contribute greatly to the mtb scene, get saddle time on an extremely regular basis, maintain a high level of fitness - all very positive things. Keep on pushing it like you have been as long as I've been reading TSC and and you'll more than likely end up working right back to where you left off when you hit that ice.
(don't mean to sound preachy, motivational-speakerish - tell me to F off if I come across that way)
Steve Z
Steve,
Thanks so much for the comments. I needed that.
Jason
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