The Bender (The Good & Bad Kind)

Since I am so tired of fielding comment, calls, letters and emails about the status of The Soiled Chamois I figured I better post some drivel ASAP. OK, we both know that is a lie and that not one person cares if this blog lives or dies, I just have been super busy and occupied with the mag, racing, vacation (which is more like work for a depressive fucker like me) and working my way through a ride bender fueled by a multi-week beer binge.

Issues.

Anyway, I went to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan to race the Ore To Shore and then once again headed to Copper Harbor with Wifey and B-Man for riding, swimming and goofing off.

I'm sure I will have more to say about the race later either here or on xxcmag.com, but I can sum it up by saying I still dig the Ore To Shore. 48 miles of pavement, two track, logging roads, XC ski trails, old mining roads, sand and a touch of singletrack.

I really wanted to beat my time last year of 3:16. Turns out I didn't, and finished in 3:19 dispite clearing more climbs, feeling better and hauling more (fat) ass than last year. I am sticking by my excuse of "it's where I lined up!" I still had a great time and a great race and I was stoked at how I felt. Next year will be better, I swear!!

The race was fun, seeing my friend Ben in from Colorado was fun and hanging out with folks Saturday night was all good and the U.P. in general has a vibe I dig. Not sure I could live through the winters there, but it's a cool place.

Sunday A.M. it was off to Copper Harbor. I rode bad ass single track, sweet forest roads, a bunch of snowmobile/ATV trails and had a great time on the bike.

I also hung out with B-Man and Wifey a ton and did some hiking with them. We climbed wet rocks and roots, saw toads, and goofed off in the woods. We were supposed to do a kayak trip together but it got cancelled due to the high winds on Lake Superior that Thursday. Bummer.

We got home Friday afternoon. Saturday I busted out a 43 mile road ride and today I got a nice 15 mile loop in up at MMCC. My legs were dead and my brain is fried.

Speaking of...

Tomorrow I am going to try and get back to the being a normal (for me) person. I am laying off the booze (as soon as I finish what's left in the fridge) and trying to adjust my routine so as to not feel like a complete fucking alcoholic. I fell into some really bad habits since I started the mag 3 years ago. I've blamed all my weight gain on food, but we both know it's not the food.. it's the beer. 

I have had some successes with the mag, but also a lot of failures IMO. I also put a lot of pressure on myself and deal with it all by drinking way too much. It's not good for me, it's not good for my family and I am tired of it. I'm not saying I won't go out or have a beer or four on the weekend, because I do really love fine craft beer, but I REALLY need to get back to a workday routine that doesn't end with me drinking 2 to 6 beers. If that means making adjustments to life or going back to work 9-5 to get back to where I was then so be it. I have gained 30 pounds in 3+ years, I don't sleep well, I'm on anti-depressants, I am tired, broke (as far as the mag is concerned) and mentally drained. I so want to give up, but I can't. At least not yet, not until I've tried everything.

I see the same sort of behavior now as I had back when I was a teenager. Back then I ate in an attempt to feel better about my piss poor life. To forget my mother was getting worse and worse with M.S. and that my dad was out of work 3 years due to his plant shutting down. I struggled in school, hated the way I looked, hated people, hated life and dealt with it by eating. I kicked that bad habit, lost 130 pounds, started racing bikes and never looked back. Now I find myself with a new and improved worse way of dealing with my problems and I've gained 30 of those pounds back. I guess it's just time to kick some ass again and keep riding. I am a creature of habit. I just need to get back to being a creature of GOOD habits.

Later.