Being Fat & Riding Skinny

Wow, almost a week since the last update. I am becoming one of those slack bloggers. Wait, I always was. Only now I am more ireevlevent thatn ever!

The past week has not been my best for riding, but still managed to get some hours in.

I think I had one brief gravel road ride earlier in the week and wasn't able to ride again until Friday afternoon. For the sake of of time and the want to ride with someone else for a change I headed out with my friend Mike to dodge raindrops on the road.

Did a nice 42 mile loop and didn't get rained on until the last freaking mile back to the house.

The ride was fun, the roads weather held out for the most part and it was nice to ride with someone else. Of course it did spawn this exchange...

Mike: "You don't ride with people on the road often, do you?"
Me: "Not at all, except for the couple times I've gone with you. Why am I that bad of roadie?"

Jerk. Ha!

With Wifey and B-Man out of town for a few days I had the night to myself. I ended up meeting Mike and his lady friend out at the Tap Room to watch the Tigers get their asses spanked by the Blue Jays. Then we made an additional stop. That was unwise and I ended up staying out later than I wanted and sleeping in later than I should have.

After an hour or so of some work and breakfast I got ready to ride. For some reason I was drawn back to the road today. Pretty freaky for me. Not sure why, I just had no desire to ride on gravel and didn't feel like driving to mountain bike, even though that was my orginal plan.

I ended up doing the same exact route that Mike showed me yesterday. Pretty sure there is only about 600 feet of climbing over the 42ish miles, but it's still a nice loop.

Funny how today was the same but different. Yesterday it was cloudy and rainy, today the sky was brilliant blue and the sun was full on. Yesterday I still had water left in my bottles, today my bottle were drained at mile 35. Yesterday I rode with Mike, today I rode alone, etc., etc., See the same. But different. Who says I can't mix things up??

I should ride dirt tomorrow. I should also do a ton of work. Either way. It's been a good couple rides, even if it was on the road and on skinny tires.

Later.

Less Than OK

After my road ride yesterday, strings were pulled, teens were paid off, a baby sitter was found and Wifey and I had a "Date Night." JUST us. It was pretty sweet. Of course we went all out and went for pizza and beer at the local college bar; The Bird.

Yeah, we go all out when we go out. Pizza, beer and rowdy college kids that are just arriving when we are leaving. Still a great time with my number one lady love.

I somehow managed to get Jake The Dog to stay in his crate I ignored Jake The Dog yelping in his crate for an extended period of time this morning, then let Wifey handle the dirty details of getting him out and fed. Then I proceeded to sleep just about all morning. GOD IT WAS TITZ! I have not slept that long since I was maybe 18?

Once up, coffee, bacon and eggs were thrown down followed by some putzing on the computer. Then I figured I would ride. A road ride on my road bike. UG! WHY?? It was about 88 when I got out the door with a strong and constant 10+ mph WSW wind blowing. I took one turn, got hit in the face with the wind and turned around to go home.

Then I thought myself a big pussy, turned around and continued on. I mean it wasn't going to be a hard ride, just sort of putzing, but heading down the flat Baseline Road into the wind at 15 MPH with my HR up to about 160 was enough to make me want to drowned myself in a shallow pool of suck.

But I continued on, doing my best to ignore the heat and wind, knowing that soon enough I would be heading the opposite direction and get a nice tailwind.

And I did. A couple left turns and the next thing you know I went from 15 mph to 22 mph. It felt soooo much better. At one point I decided to see just how fast I could get my Campeon going on the flats with a tail wind, using a compact crank. The answer? 35 mph. I have gone WAY faster downhill back in PA, but to be pedalling on the flats at 35 mph was freaky to say the least. Knowing that pros are going into sprint finishes even faster was even freakier.

After that short stint of speed I was content to spin home knowing that I at least go outside to do SOMETHING today. No a great ride, not a good ride, Christ, I don't know if it was even an OK ride.  But it was a ride.

Later.

Avoiding A Race, But Not Miles

Avoiding a race... it's really not that hard to do. You see a race on the calendar (in the case the 6 hours of Ithaca), make plans to do it. Get cash out of the machine for the entry, buy some extra gels, have your bike ready, wake up race day morning, think about the amount of cash that you are about to drop to race your bike in 5.5 mile circles for 6 hours, say "fuck it" and then go for a long ride.

Maybe it's that I feel out of race shape this year, but I just am not on my game and wanting to race. Spending hundreds of dollars on bike parts in the past couple months hasn't helped either. After replacing a fork and moving on to new wheels due to fact that Sam's Breast rims seem to break if I even think about riding them, there is little money (actually none) left in the bike racing piggy right now. Cuss it all.

But still, even more, there was no desire to go around in circles on a 5.5 trails with about 3 feet of elevation gain for 6 hours when I could ride out my back door and see how lost I could get on the crap and gravel roads.

The plan was for about 3 to 4 hours,  since there's no real stores on the loop I was going to use my hydration pack. Well it turns that Jake The Dog got to this one somehow to and made the slightest of punctures in the bite valve thus making it leak all over the place. I hate that dog. So I went with 3 bottles. 2 filled with Tailwind Nutrition and 1 filled with plain water. With temps heading into the mid to high 80s, and bright sun I figured I would need all I could get. I did.

The legs were a little dead as I made my way out of town, but I figured the long pavement before the dirt roads would warm them up. The wind was kicking a bit more than it had in a while and that was sort of unpleasant, but I've ridden in worse, that's for sure.

I had a vague idea of the loop I was going to do, but really I just headed north for a while, then just started taking roads. Some roads were open and desolate pavement, others were hilly gravel, others were long boring stretches of 0% grade sandy dirt. I would go until a 'T" intersection, turn, and repeat, just keeping note in my head of the direction. It's hard to get TOO lost, but still I manage sometimes.

An hour in and I was already down a bottle and working into the spare water bottle in my jersey pocket. Uh-oh.

Road Rule 22.9: If/when running out of water, food or hydration you WILL find yourself on roads with the worst surfaces and the worst bits of climbing. It's a fact.

2.5 hours later and "T" intersection after "T" intersection and turn after turn and I was starting to find myself on roads with names I didn't recognize. So I pulled off a section of gravel and dug my iPhone out to see just where the hell I was on Google Maps. I found myself. Yeah. Turns out I was not too far away from a gravel section of River Road, so I kept heading south until I hit it and then made my way back to pavement.

As I hit pavement I took in the LAST drops of liquid I had with me and set about the last 14+ miles to home with empty bottles. The sun was HOT and I could feel my skin getting crispy. I remembered about 5 miles down River that they was a bridge being replaced and the road was closed. I figured I would just keep riding and see how "out" it was. After zigging and zagging through construction vehicles sitting idle for thew weekend, I found the bridge to be nearly done. You couldn't ride across it but you could walk across it.

Thank God for a tailwind on the way home. The legs felt OK, but I was pretty toasted and hot and found myself day dreaming about ice cold water and killing Jake The Dog for biting my bite valve (yeah, I know how dumb that sounds).

I had a ton of fun on this 50/50 Ride (50% dirt & gravel, 50% pavement). While I didn't race my mountain bike for 6 hours, I did ride my CX bike for 3:10 and have fun. I may have avoided the race, but I didn't avoid the miles. Win.

Later.

Sweet Relief

This week has not been the greatest for riding. Right now I am having trouble even remembering what the hell I did. I know Monday I did nothing. Tuesday.... I yeah I did NOTHING because of having to wait for the dryer repair dude, but hey I did get to have "lunch" with Wifey so that rocked. Wednesday it freaking stormed and I was driven to the trainer. YES! The trainer and it was remarkably good. Heart rate was up, a sweat was had, and a bunch of calories were burned. Thursday I FFFFFFFFINALLLLLLLLLLY got to ride. Yeah!

It was sooo much cooler than it has been. It was the weird combination of being cool but still humid as a fat woman's fromundahboob. About 20 minutes into the ride it started to mist, then nothing... then it pissed down rain and I couldn't have given a big ass shit. After the heat and humidity we've had a good raid soaked ride was just what the velo-psychotherapist ordered.

The roads were fine, the dirt/gravel was tacky and my mind was clear. It's funny what being cooped up inside for three days will do for you.

Lunch was a nice piece of grilled chicken, some spinach and a few "cheat" olives for love.

Thursday night I met up with my friends for Small Plates at The Brass. Conversation was great, the beer was good, but my Kale Chips were a lot to be desired. Boo!

 The walk home was damp, hazy and filled with random car tires. Nice.

Saturday I MAY race the 6 Hours of Ithaca. Or I might not. The thought of racing a 5.5 mile course for 6 hours makes me want to shoot myself in the face. So I may end up at another trail just busting out some miles on some other local singletrack.

Gotta split, need to drink a beer and throw some turkey burgs on the grill.

Later.

Embracing Change

This is the sort of thing I am talking about as far as changes to my diet. I am not a big fruit fan, but there are a few that I like, and right now the strawberries and blackberries have been pretty awesome and today that's what I had and added in a couple servings of walnuts and got a much better breakfast than the practically all fake, sodium filled one I had one day last week. Fiber, some fat, tasty fruity carbs and low sodium made this work for me. Combined with the fact that I have ditched milk and sugar in my coffe and I have made some small changes that will hopefully add up over the weeks, months, etc.,

Now this is no way represents what I eat for breakfast everyday. But I will say most of my breakfasts since last Wednesday have contained real not in a milk carton eggs, bacon and vegetables... and for the most part they are right on par calorie wise with the egg beater, fake sausage, fat free cheese, cream/sugar coffee blend I had going in the past. They have been lower in sodium, and they keep me fuller longe. Plus my workouts/rides have actually been going better (not to mention I've lost a few pounds!).

Time will tell.

Later.

What the heck is going on?

I did not ride today. Yes, it was too hot. While it was not 97˚ at 11:30 a.m. (when I could ride), it was 95˚. I scheduled a lunch date with Wifey in the A/C instead.

The heat has been a tad ridiculous. I hate to bitch about it, 'cause the cold is even worse IMHO, so I will keep it to a minimum and just say I think we are all getting "cabin fever" from the heat. I guess we should just say "eph it" and go to the lake. 

Not wanting to run my 8 year old ragged (or me!) in the heat, there has been much time for things like being hustled at Go Fish by B-Man.

Or watching Jake The Dog bake his big furry ass in the sun (this only lasts about 2 minutes before he wants and needs back in... because it's too f*cking hot!!).

And of course there has been plenty of time to work on my diet... I can't believe how much cabbage I've eaten as of late! If my Grandma Helen could see me now it would warm here Slovak heart!

Aside from eating cabbage (seen stir frying above) I have really cleaned up a lot of my diet. Last Saturday doesn't count! That was my B-Day! Ben would be proud to know that I have gone 9 days now without pasta (or legumes!) and 8 of the last 9 days without cheese! NO CHEESE???

Don't ask me what I'm doing, I don't know. But I have said to hell with fat free cheeses, dressings, high calorie pasta (even whole wheat), sodium filled fake meat, beans and cheeses and have embraced fresh vegetables, lean meat, fruit, good fats and nuts. It's not Paleo, it's not Fatkins, it's not Low Fat, it's not a diet... just a change in some attitudes about some foods. Half of the fun has been learning how to cook a variety of new foods. I mean while I have baked sweet potatoes in the past I have never made Sweet Potato French Fries and there were freaking titz!!

While I wish I could say all my fruits and vegetable were organic, that I am only eating grass fed meats and that I no longer drink beer 3 to 4 nights a week, I have made some pretty big steps (NO FUCKING PASTA!) and despite my increased intake of real meats and fat my overall calorie intakes (except for weekend beer nights) is NOT that different and I am feeling better.

I did have some slight bike and race related news, but I think I will just save that for another post.

Later.

Plan B

Friday was a day off the bike and a day on as full time dad and magazine publisher. I got a lot of work done, kept B-Man alive for another day and prepped my bike for Saturday's Boyne Marathon.

Even with the knowledge of how I struggled at last year's Boyne race I was still looking forward to the race. Friday night as I got my bottles and nutrition ready for my early morning departure I found myself pretty excited for the race.

Then I went to bed. Bad move.

I had a HORRIBLE nights sleep. I tossed, I turned, every noise in the house or outside woke me up, I swear I heard talking in the house, I was miserable. Then at 4:50 a.m. the dog started yelping in his crate. FUCK! I have to get up in a freaking hour and now I need to go tend to him.

After I let Jake The Dog out and back in I laid down on the couch to try to get a few more winks of sleep. I guess I should mention that Saturday also happened to be my 41st birthday and Wifey and I had plans to go out with a couple of friends that night. Anyway, as I laid there I started doing the time and money math in my head; $45 to race and at least one tank of gas = $85. 4:15 round trip to Boyne, and at LEAST that long to race would probably not getting home until after 5 and then expected to go out. That is one full ass day and a lot of cash to finish mid pack at best, but probably closer to last in my class. Cuss it all, I think I'm bailing.

Then I went down to throw some stuff in our dryer, hit the button... nothing. Hmmm.... Checked the fuse, tried again.... nothing. Tried the washer as well. Nothing. OK, now THIS is stick in my already bent and fucked early Saturday a.m. spokes. CUSS!! Must be the plug.

OK, screw the race. I'm going back to bed.

An hour or so later I woke up feeling oddly good about my descision to abort the race.

I made a fine breakfast, did some work, drank a ton of coffee, dumped out 2 to 8 times and decided to ride up at MMCC.

It was hotter than hell and steamer than a freshly laid dog turd but I was stoked to ride and felt good from the first mile. I was really shocked at how good I felt, especially since I have made some adjustments to my diet this week and fully expected to be dragging ass. It was just the opposite. I felt spunky and spanky.

First I did a full loop that is just under 15 miles with a few miles of extremely lumpy new trail. Then I did the regular old 10 mile loop. Once again I was shocked to feel so goo and it had been just a little cooler I would have probably done more. BUT, it wasn't. By the end of lap of two it was freaking HOT and I was about out of hydration.

Headed home, showered up, chilled out, drank some beer and then went out later for pizza and copious amounts of beer to forget that I am another year closer to death.  At least it was a carb fest!

___________________

Today/Sunday I got to sleep in a bit, then watch the Tour on TV while eatin' my eggs and coffee.

OK, now it's 90 degree and I would like to ride. Good move Jase, good move.

Knowing I won't be able to ride tomorrow encouraged me to get out the door and on the bike. DAMN it was hot! I drained one bottle in about 45 minutes and the 2nd bottle was like drinking hobo sweat.  OK, this ride is gonna be short.

I did a combo of pavement and dirt and was feeling well enough considering the heat and last night's exploits.  I spied some dark clouds moving in and started to feel even better about my decision to cut the ride short.

By the time I reached home I was covered in a layer of salt (surely from the salty pizza and nachos I ate last night) and by the time I got in the shower it was storming. Looks like I made a wise decision to head home, finish with a short 1:45 of riding and save myself the worry of weather a Zip-Loc baggie would keep my iPhone dry or not. Ha!

To rain didn't last too long, which sort of sucks, 'cause things are DRRRRRY here. Everything has been brown and dead for weeks. I have a feeling that come November Ma Nature will make up for all this hot, dry weather with lots and LOTS of snow. 

Monday will once again be spent in Dad/publisher mode with a generous amount of time dedicated to waiting for an electrician to come to the house. CUSS!

Later.

Beating The Heat Off

So it seems the heat is back to central Michigan. Luckily, as of now, there is no humidity associated with it. So far in my time here in Michigan I have yet to experience the same muggy choking on chicken fat while being drowned in steamy pile of excrement humidity that I remember to have on occasion in PA. We had a couple days this summer that it was turdishly steamy but for the most part its just been a HOT summer. Better than a cold one and MUCH better than winter. That shit will be here soon enough. UG!

I was able to get on the road a bit earlier than usual today. It should have been even earlier but when I went down to the basement to fetch the Jake (my bike, not the dog), it had a soft rear tire. DRAT! This was the first flat in a LONG while. Turned out to be at TINY little piece of what looked like half of a staple. Glad to have discovered it before getting it out on the road.

Delayed 5 or so minutes I was still out the door before it got too hot. With B-Man at his last day of soccer camp I didn't want to stray too far from home. A) In case something would happen and B) I wanted to get back in time to see the last of B's scrimmages. They were doing a "mini" Euro 2012, he played for Ireland. Shock, the red head kid named Brennan played for Ireland!

Today's ride was about a 50/50 mix of dirt and pavement. I thought I knew where one dirt road would drop me out, turns out I was thinking of the wrong road. DOH! So I had to do some extra pavement. Luckily most of it is pretty desolate and low traffic. Just the corn Johnny... just the corn....

Here is a shot of some pavement over my shoulder.
I think there was a 1% grade DOWN.

It was also lucky that I really didn't loose too much time on my guesstimated ride time and got back about the same time as I had planned with just time enough for a quick trip to the story to stock up on fruit and vegetable, back home to drop them off and then to CMU to see and fetch B-Man.

Turns out I just saw a bit of B's last scrimmage, but I DID get to see the final match of Scotland vs. Switzerland, ha!

As I sat in a small patch of shade and watched the match I was feeling pretty damn lucky. Lucky to be watching my son (or at least my son's camp) play footy, lucky to have B-Man., lucky to have Wifey and of course lucky for the physical ability to to ride my bike. Funny how those thoughts can jump into you head at such odd times.

Also on my mind:

It also occurred to me as I typed, that many of you must read my blog and think me a real asshole for being out riding during the day while most, if not all of you, are at your jobs. I don't mean to come off like a turd. I am lucky to have a job (XXC Magazine) that allows me to get out during the day to ride while B-Man is at school or while he is at summer activities. Me working out of our home saves us money on day care, etc.

Right now for me to work somewhere not XXC would just pay for the daycare. Not sure that makes sense. I love my job, and often I am working on it during early mornings, late nights, weekends, etc, in order to attempt to bring folks XXC Magazine. What Wifey and I do might not be the "traditional" American family's way of doing things, but it's OUR way of doing things. Fuck tradition.

No ride tomorrow as soccer camp is over so I will be full time dad/mag publisher type person tomorrow. The 45+ mile Boyne Marathon is Saturday. One of the ONLY courses with steep climbs and steeper descents in Michigan's Lower Peninsula... and of course it's going to be like 95 degrees. CURSES!! Ah no worries, I can beat that heat off. Well, I can beat SOMETHING off, that much I know. I am totally prepared to suck more ass than a.... well.. um... Let's just say I am prepared for the worst.

Later.

I Don't Want The Green Jersey, I Wanna Be Your Dog

I had plans to ride today; nothing great, just another quick brunch time gravel grinder out the backdoor of XXC World HQ. B-Man thought differently- He woke up with some lower g.i. issues.
DRAT! I could bitch, but the poor kid was making some serious fecal NOISE from the bathroom. So it was best that the he NOT go to soccer camp today. NO ONE wants the call that their 8 year old just shit himself on a soccer field in front of 34 other 8 to 12 year old kids. NO ONE!

Soooo.... That meant that anything the house needed would come 4th, riding would come 3rd, work would come 2nd and of course making sure B-Man's belly was 100% was 1st. That is life. That is life working out of you home. I guess I am pretty damn lucky to be able to have the chance to be home with B-Man in such situations when so many folk aren't.

Oh well, last day of camp is tomorrow, B-Man seems to be doing better and I can plan on a gravel ride to shed the funk of being trapped inside most of today.

Jake The Dog still wants to sit on my lap. Jake The Dog now weighs 47 pounds. It's becoming difficult. I'm not sure if I hate Jake or love Jake... He's cute, he farts too much and is dumb as a freaking stump. For some reason I feel that Wifey thinks/says the same thing about me.

 

In any event Wifey and I will be married 15 years tomorrow. That is sick long by much of today's (subpar) standards. I wish I could say that every year has been easy and lovey-dovey. They weren't, but there is no one that I feel more at ease around and love more than her (and B-Man). Life if long, shit happens. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's good, sometimes it sucks. But it's best done with someone you love. Stoked that she keeps letting me be her Jake The Dog.



Later.

Black Snakes

Today I cruised along this WIDE open farm road about 15 miles from my home when my iPhone's message ringer went off.

"SHIT, I forgot to turn off the ringer!" I exclaimed to myself.

I figured it would go off one more time or so and then leave me alone.

It then rang again... and again.

"DAMN!! Seriously??"

With B-Man at CMU soccer camp 'till 1 PM and Wifey at work, I worried that something may have happened to him and Wifey was trying to be in touch. So I went a little further up the road, pulled over and checked.

There were two messages. I checked the first one, it was from my buddy Dave in Florida. The message said...

"Remember those Fourth of July Black Snakes? That's what my shit looks like."

The second message that rang was also from him. It was a photo of said Black Snakes.

I of course chuckled at his want to share this disgusting information with me, I then proceeded to thank God that it was pic of the Black Snakes and not his poo. I then held back a few tears at how wasted technology is on me. Then threw up a little bit in my mouth thinking about "black snake shit" and the abundance of issues Dave's colorectal area must be/is going through. 

I hate him. I hate ME. I hate us BOTH.

Later.

P.S. I'm over the wasted technology and hating Dave (and myself... at least for now). Now I just think it's funny. I will say I'm glad that at least all this happened on THEEE flattest road of the ride. I just have to remember to keep that damn ringer off!

It's All Dirt Baby

I enjoy the luxury/disadvantage of having this blog and being able to look back at my life (since 2005) and see some really great times (and some really bad times) in my life as a cyclist.

It's great on the days that I remember a past race, head over to the side bar, click on "X" date and see whatever the hell I was up to and how good/bad I did or what I was into at that time. Than again, it also suck when I see how much thinner I was in the past, how much more into racing I was then, etc., It can be a bad thing and can often be 500 Volt Depression Enema. (I just came up with that phrase, and I will be copyrighting it ASAP, so piss off if you want to use it. Kidding).

Dirt road landmines. Watch your bottle!

Where was I? Ummm... I can't remember why I started talking about the blog, blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc., or even why I keep struggling with it, or why the hell I keep doing it??  I guess one reason I keep the Chamois up and soiled is that if I give up on the blog, it would be yet another nail in my aging, former wanna be racer coffin. That will happen soon enough I suppose if I keep livin' life the way I currently am, so let's just keep on keepin' on and keep riding dirt, whether it be for 2 hours or 24, on the dirt roads or on the singletrack.

Sunday is NOT a day of rest for these folks.

This weekend had a bit of both: Saturday I headed up to MMCC and rode 22 miles of singletrack. It was a good time and I have really been enjoying the Ti El Mariachi with the Thudbuster suspension seat post (BTW, did you know you can read my review of the post over at xxcmag.com??). While it doesn't give me the full comfort that the Spearfish does on singletrack, it does make for one comfortable hardtail.

The end results. I need a wide, WIDE angle lens to show it Tall.

 The trails are soooooo freaking dry right now. Even with a few nights of thunderstorms this week, the trails remain hard pack and fast.  The temps were a lot better (cooler) than they have been and I was sort of shocked that there weren't more folks at the trail head. Oh well, their loss.

Making it rain and growin' shit.

Today, Sunday I headed out for road ride. By "road ride." I of course mean a DIRT road ride on the CX bike. The legs felt real good and I am SLOWLY finding some of the fitness that I was on track to have WAY back in the early spring. There is of course a TON of work to be done and what seems like a TON of weight to still try to lose. DAMN!

Jake The Dog helps to clean up with a big salt lick.

Wow that's a whole bunch of paragraphs about not all that much... but hey, that is what this blog has been from Day 1, right? A whhhhhole lot of nothing. But it is MY "nothing" and somewhere in all the words I've type over the years is a love of dirt. Trails... roads... doesn't matter to me.

Summer day and gravel road make bottles dirt magnets.

It's all good when you get to experience dirt on and off road over the life of a weekend.

Later.

50/50/100

Between the weather and the 4th of July holiday, riding has been on the down low this week. The heat and thunderstorms have been a major player for sure. Tuesday and Thursday were to be my major ride days (I use that term VERY loosely). Tuesday, storms had me doing 40 minutes on the trainer in the middle of summer (UUUUGGGG!!!) and Wednesday I was out getting my jingoistic 4th of July boo-ya on with friends and family on a local lake. Soo...

Since it was once again hotter than the surface of the sun I was only able get in about 1:30 of dirt, gravel and pavrment before the heat became so oppressive it was like a forced tea bag from a that hideously obese dude that you see riding the handicapped cart at Wal Mart. (YUCK!!)

So, I got go some miles in, said "fuck it" and came home so as do some actual XXC, husband, dad, man wife like.


The ride was 50% road, 50% dirt road and 100% hot as Frumundah A. Fatmans Balls. NASTY! But a ride and that equals goodness on SOME level.

Ask me how much of the Tour de Ponce I've watched in 2012.... go ahead... OK, good! About 10 minutes. Will I watch more? Hell yeah, 'cause A. the mountains are yet to come, and B. Tonight people will be talking smack on cocky ass bike racers who thought they could lie and cheat their way through life. Fuck them. I can come up with at least 20 bike racers I respect more before I even GET to a fucking Pro peloton roadie.

I love the sport of cycling, I love what the popularity of some of those guys DID for the sport, but I cannot say I am not pissed at the lot of them for duping into rooting for them and believing in them over the years. I'm closing in on 41 like a freight train, I am now old enough to know to not be a fan boy of anyone, no matter who they are or what the sport. I hate to be that way, but the only people I truly believe in are the folks that I ride and race with year in and year out on the local and semi-local mountain bike and dirt road type racing endurance circuit.

Funny, I have some $20 wool socks.... I have some $10 socks... I have some 3 for $6.00 Target socks, and I have to say the only difference between the $20 socks and the 3 for $6.00 Target socks is about an $18 savings.

Later.

Baking Hams

There were a wide variety of things I could have done today, including: going kayaking (for the first time ever) or canoeing (for about the 4th time ever) with friends on the the mighty Chipp, go for a dirt road ride in 90 degree heat, or sleep in and lay around on the couch snoring and farting right along with Jake The Dog.

In the end, I poo-pooed the kayak attempt, saving that for a possible July 4th adventure when we go up to a friend's cabin on one of Meeeshegan's 1 billion lakes (not the actual number of lakes OR the proper spelling of Michigan, I know). So I embraced the idea of the 90˙dirt road ride. Plus to fuck up and drowned on a holiday carries WAY more publicity with it. Just saying'.

To be completely honest, I did sleep in just a bit and did indeed lay on the couch snoring and farting along with Jake The Dog as well. BTW, you know what smell's worse than a J.T.D. fart? A Soiled Chamois fart all wrapped up in the remnants of a late night, unneeded pitcher of Marty's Bar PBR with friends. Too much information? I thought as much. Hey, no one is forcing you to read this shit, so back off amigo!!!

I did manage to get out to ride before it worked its way up to 90, but that did not last too long. I knew it was gonna be dog ball hot, so I utilized my uber small CamelBak along with two bottles, plus I took some cash so that if I came upon a mini mart or something I could jiggle my lycra ensconced belly inside and get some cool hydration. What could go wrong baby??

A few miles of pavement and there I was rolling dirt. I never get sick of the dirt road ride options that I have here. Sure, I love singletrack. I'm a mountain biker for Christ-sake, but when you get down to it I am really a lover of all things dirt…. A dirt worshipper if you will. Tires rolling dirt, whether on singletrack, doubletrack, dirt roads, gravel roads or the lawn of the jerk next door. DIRT BITCHES!

The legs felt good and the mind was clear but I have to say that the my butt felt like someone took a cheese grater and rubbing alcohol to it. Stupid spicy pasta concoction!! WHERE'S MY BRAIN!?? (apparently in my blood red ass!).

In the end (no pun intended), the ride was great. Sure, it was hot, I ran out of water with 6 miles to go, etc., but that is riding in 90-freaking-degree heat, that is what I do…. wait, NO, that is what WE do. I've ridden in 0˚ weather, I've ridden in 90˚ weather. THAT is life, no… scratch that, that is life as a cyclist. EVEN for someone like me, who these days seems to be a "cyclist" in the absolute slackest form of the word (which is somewhere in between someone who rides with a big, fuzzy ass sweating seat and upright bar ends and someone who uses a power meter and knows how to use it. I hate me. No, I hate cycling. No I don't, it just sounded good to say that. But I DO hate me.

Even with all the self loathing, I had a great ride. There were parts that sucked, there were parts that were as smooth as a freshly shaved…um… chicken (?), there were parts that were rougher than the fists of 99 to life female inmate. In other words it was fun, er I mean it sucked? I don't know! Pick one!!

All in jest of course… anytime on the bike is fun, even when you run out of water 6 miles from the finish. It's not like I was going to die or anything, hell it was only 50 miles! Everyone fucking relax!!! But seriously, I could have died (not really, I just like being dramatic).

Singletrack one day, dirt roads the next, and some nice miles this week. I'll take that.

BTW, I have pics, they're on my desktop commuter, I am typing on the laptop. It can wait, I'm sure no one is too concerned.

Later.

More Good & Bad

Today was the Sweat Shaker XC race at MMCC. The closest GOOD trails system near my crib and the one that I think of as my "home" trail.
I did not race it.

"Why the hell not?" You ask in that condescending voice that grates on my nerves. Well, I will tell you why, smart ass. They weren't starting the Expert 40+ race 'till 1pm. Sorry, I A. don't have the attention span to keep myself occupied 'till the start time after having been up since 7pm and B. the high today was to be 90, I really didn't feel like paying to ride my home trails, come in 15th and fried.

"So what DID you do, fat ass?"  Well, the original plan was to head out early and do a 75 mile dirt & gravel road ride I mapped out. But then last night. C-Malt called and floated the idea of riding at Luton Park down nere G.R..

I had been wanting to ride there for ages, so to be able to go with a friend made the idea all the better.

And it was. The trails were buff, tight, twisty, turny goodness. Sadly I only got to ride about 17 miles before I had to split to get home for Jake The Dog. BUT a fun time. Glad I went.

Later.