The Soiled Chamois

Yikes, This Is Disturbing

2012-01-26T19:39:00.002-05:00

All I'm saying is that I am way more disturbed by the pic of Hoogerland with the neon shades, wife beater base layer, farmer tan and Euro clubbing tattoo than I am by the pic of his ripped up bloody ass and chamois bits.

Later.

The Madness

2012-01-24T21:48:00.002-05:00

This is about the time of year that I start to crack. January is getting CLOSE to being in the bag, so all I need to do is get through February and then things will start moving again bike wise. Much of the ground here is like one frozen glazed doughnut. In the past 1.5 weeks we have had rain, freezing rain, sleet, snow, -0 degree temps, 45 degree temps, rain, then temps back into the teens at night. Shit, it's hard to even stay upright walking in my back yard for f's sake.

Serenity now.... halllmmmmm..... hallllmmmmmm..... Did I mention that Bell's Hop Slam is due out VERY soon? Did I also mention that my local beer store is holding a case for me when it does arrive? Now THAT will make February go by faster for sure!

Work continues to be a blur of podcasts, reading, layouts and continued learning of InDesign (I'm STILL loving that freaking program!!). Some day's I am in awe of the amount of stuff I have done with the mag: getting better at writing (not that it shoes, here, but I don't really give a shit about this blog), better at design work, learning web stuff, doing podcasts, etc., etc., Thank God I am so busy, because if I pause for too long (or look at my accounting records) I start to regret not going to those open interviews at the new Rally Burger on Mission. Those kids must rake in some serious jing. WHY DID I GO TO ART SCHOOL??? WHY??? Oh yeah,... dim bulb.

Later.

Doing It Proper

2012-01-22T09:14:00.007-05:00

Since I lamed out on posts most of the week and did an XXC "double post" yesterday, I figured I would do something more proper on yesterday's cold weather ride.

Mmmm... sun, snow and not a trainer in sight.

I spent all week on the trainer this week. That was due to a shit storm of trying to learn a new layout program (InDesign) at work and a series of cold, wet snow and ice storms we had here mid-mitten. But as the week progressed, the snow increased, became dryer (better) and the temp dropped like a bullet making the dirt roads more ride-able. But that temperature! Zero?? For realz??

There was no way I was riding on the trainer because as cold as it was outside, the sun was shining full on and I needed to soak up some vitamin D (even if my eyebrows and nose were the only visible parts of my body being exposed to the sun).

I figured with a few ghetto mods to my normal cool weather riding attire I could make the 9 degree ride time temperature feel a tad better.

Have the feeling this pic just went into some sort of file at the F.B.I.

In order of appearance....

1. Thin wicking socks.
2. Swiftwick wool socks.
3. Thin fake Under Armour type base layer.
4. Craft Windstopper base layer on top.
5. Bibs & fleece lined leg warmers.
6. Balaclava & XXC fleece beanie.
7. Endura cool weather jacket.
8. old Lake winter shoes
9. Giordana winter cycling gloves.
10. Lazer lid.
11. Under Armour wind pants.
12. Not on me, but on the bike Moose Mitts. (see XXC post for more).

I think it took me 35 minutes to get dressed. I think I lost 5 pounds in sweat before I made it out the door!! BUT, I made it out the door and that was a big step for me 'cause A. I hate being cold and B. I hate being cold.

As I rode the snow covered streets Ehm Pee heading out of town to the snow covered dirt roads I could not have been happier. My hands were warm, my legs were warm, I was geeked for a nice ride.

I sort of had an "oh shit" moment as I headed out Crawford and saw a GIANT snowplow coming at me. The plow down, snow exiting the side, GRRRRRRRPPPPPFFFFFLLLLLOOGGRRRRRRRRRPFFFFF!!!! I thanked Baby-J that it was on the OTHER side of the road and it was not coming up behind me. Me thinks I would have been turned into 200 pounds of 60% Fat Ground Mahokey.

Once on the farm roads the conditions were perfect! The snow was packed pretty well and the ruts weren't too bad. I am 72% certain that a Mukluk, Bully or Fatback would have rolled a bit better on the snow and given me just a tad more confidence, but I gotz to sell a LOT more XXC shit before a new bike is in the stable. Really, I was just happy to be outside in the sun, even if it was cold as tits.

"Climbs" were just a tad harder (better!) on the snow.

For the first hour+ I could not have been happier. My hands were warm, my feet were OK, and I was having fun in the snow on my bike.

Then it happened.

My warm fingers started sweating and while shielded from the wind and cold there was not getting around the fact it was COLD outside. Thus the fingers started to get cold REAL cold. Like can't let go of the bar 'cause it hurts, grit you teeth cold. Frig!! I KNEW I should have started back about 20 minutes ago. Now I'm stuck finishing out the loop!

Oh and then there's my feet. UG! The vintage Lakes are OK, but seem like anything longer than an hour in super cold temps and my feet are miserable. I kept trying to wiggle my toes, but there just isn't that much room in the toe box. Damn!

Oh well, I did what I could to ignore the pain and my inability to stay warm and just tried to enjoy the day; the sun, the warm intoxicating smell of cow manure, the site and sounds of snowmobiles passing me at roughly 110 mph and the joy of being on my bike instead of the trainer.

On a positive note I did use a small stainless steel insulated thermos on the bike and it allowed my sports drink to stay unfrozen. I also stashed a bottle in my jersey pocket under my jacket just in case. That worked well too. I was nice to be able to stay hydrated for a change on a cold ride.

The ride was not all that "epic" or hard as it was only just about 2:50 or so, but the conditions made me work all that harder and I noticed that my HR was averaging about 10 bpm more than usual. I also found that I burned a TON more calories than my usual CX loop on dry roads.

I can't say I'm anxious to be that cold again and I'm taking today off to lay around in a den of sloth (actually work on XXC) but I'm sure I will return to the snow covered roads soon. Each time I learn a little more. Then next project is my feet!!

I continue to be amazed at the folks who do the cold weather races and tours. I just do NOT know how they stay warm?? Balls... BIG balls.

Later.

It's Come To This

2012-01-21T18:55:00.001-05:00

It's come to this... cross posting lady dogs, cross posting. Sorry.

http://xxcmag.com/archives/5077

Later.

More Ketchup Please...

2012-01-20T20:48:00.002-05:00

Wow, this week fllllllew by. Sadly this was the view that I saw before each ride this week...

Other than the view above of the descent into hell and an hour each day on the trainer as it pissed down snow and ice, the rest of the week was me looking straight on at the computer screen and saying "what the fuck?" out loud. I have finally took on the challenge of learning InDesign (although be it a much older version than what is currently available) for laying out XXC Magazine. Its been a slow week of mistakes and learning but the new challenge was nice. I figure the whole XXC ride can't last forever before I have to turn with my tail betweenst my legs and try to find a design job in a landscape (MP) void of all design jobs, so I better learn the industry standard for page layout if I want to get back to being "rhythmic slapped" by "the man" and waste time looking for a soulless job with a steady paycheck.

The rest of the week was filled with securing stories (unsuccessfully) for XXC #15 and getting all ready to record the next XXC Podcast.

Wifey gave me shit for not updating by blog this week. She finds it "soothing" to find out what I'm up to. I find it irritating to type the dross that is my so called cycling life. I've read better shit on walls of pre race porta potties.

Time to go.

Later.

Time Suck

2012-01-16T19:29:00.003-05:00

Still alive, not dead... yet. SUPER busy lately with the mag. Got the first XXC Podcast done and also went to Grand Rapids to shoot pics and video of the Farmer's 3 Hour Fat Bike Race. It was a hoot! Check the site for both of those.

Forced to the trainer today as the MP area is awash in melting snow and ice. Might be able to get out tomorrow.

Later.

Given, Gave, Gove?

2012-01-13T18:14:00.003-05:00

WOW! What a f*cking week!!! Just all over the place with work, riding, and continued planet earth existence (which is harder than folks dare to think about).

I had given up beer for the month of January, but today I said "fuck it!!" You must have heard, 'cause I said it pretty loud. In my opinion life is too short to pass up the tastiness that is a Victory Storm King. Beer belly be damned. I'll ride longer, harder, faster this spring if I have to. 13 days is a LONNNNNG time!! Well, in dog days...

Winter came to Michigan today. FINALLY! We rocked the snowless gig as long as we could but finally had to submit like a crack addict to "Fall Rock" sign. 4 or 5 inches fell overnight, which is OK by me as I just got the snow tires on the xB and I'm heading to Grand Rapids to report on a 3 hour fat bike race tomorrow. What's a fat bike race without snow???

I gotta pee. AND make dinner. AND crack a beer.... Later.

One Last Hit

2012-01-11T21:22:00.009-05:00

Yesterday the weather was amazing. I didn't ride. OK, I rode, but I rode inside. Boooo! Just had too much to do. Putting together some podcast stuff for XXC Magazine and sort of got balls deep in it. Plus I had my normal shit to do. So an hour on the trainer with iPodious had to be good enough. It was.

Onto today...

Looking ahead at the weather forecast on the news it was clear that the party that has been 40 to 45 degree January days in Michigan is about to come to an end Thursday. It was also clear that the thick bodied weather chick (I mean that in good way, I like meaty) was wearing Spanx under her form fitting attire. Holy "high pressure system in the south!!" Yet again, I've said too much... Anyway, I was not going to let a ride slip through my chubby fingers today. So I devised a nice road/gravel ride that would be about a 30/70 blend of pavement vs. dirt. More pavement than usual, but I just wanted the legs moving and calories burning.

I've mentioned a few times, that since moving to Mount-Pee I have been pretty stoked on the riding that I can do out my front door and since my ride with Mike on Saturday and my "lost" adventure on Sunday, I am even more stoked. I have found new to me dirt roads and pavement that can be added to my old routes and have also found some new way to get to those roads.

The furriest cows I've ever seen. I thought it was a Yak!

One road that I have recently discovered the joys of riding has been Baseline Road. Nice wide shoulder, good road surface, low traffic and it sort of looks like a giant grey carpet that has just been laid out and has yet to be tacked down. It would make a great road to do an ITT on or some fitness testing. Me, I just like riding it 'cause it's fun.

Baseline-a-go-go

After about 12 or so miles of pavement the road finally turned to dirt. Some of the dirt was newer, so was in my old standby route. In any event, it added in with the pavement made for 1 ride with 2 very distinct feels. The first part was smooth pavement with easy rollers to power up, the second part was dirt with surfaces that varied from ice (I still don't how the ice hangs on after like a week of sun and 45 degree temps???) to smooth, packed dirt, to soft mud to rutted, bumpy roads that appeared to have been the victim of some sort of tractor race or something. Eeessh! Some of the roads were real nut slappers today!!

Sometimes a slap in the nuts is good. Makes you feel alive! Actually that's bull shit, it just hurts. I'll still take it though, it was nice to continue to be able to get nice rides at this point in the winter. Winter is returning starting tomorrow, so I will have to reacquaint myself winter shoes and re-install the Moose Mitts and once again move back to the mountain bike.

Later.

Get Lost

2012-01-08T19:01:00.007-05:00

Wow, what a week of saddle time. Not sure I have ever had this much weekly saddle time in January in all my years of riding. I ended the week with just over 13 hours of riding. Well, to be honest 4:25 of that was done inside but still, for a slacker like me that is pretty darn impressive. For real "competitive" cyclists, it's not much, but to ME it takes some doing.

Yesterday's ride was awesome and gave me some idea on how to add some pavement to my rides. As you well know I'm not a huge fan road riding but when the dirt roads are in the crap condition they're in now I don't mind so much. So today I took full advantage of sunny skies and moderately chilly temps to explore. I sort of got more than I bargained for.

It started out well enough, I hit some nice roads, with some nice wide shoulders that let me just sort of open things up for a while and spin the shit out of my legs. There were just enough rollers to make it interesting and keep the heart rate up, but not too high. Perfect for a recovery ride of sorts.

I really had no idea where I was going, I just kept going, figuring that I could turn around anytime I got lost. Well, a forgotten turn here and there and a lousy sense of direction had me several miles north west of town and not sure which way to go! Ha!

First I flagged down a walker who was out on North Whiteville Rd., which for the record is VERY much NOT the South Whiteville Rd. that I often ride. She told me where to go, but it didn't make much sense (I'm sort of a dim bulb). It was also about this time that I lost my tail wind and had a VERY chilly, ice cream headache inducing head and cross wind coming at me off some snow and ice covered dirt roads. Brrrrrrr - grrrrrrrrr!!!

"Can I get some glazed ice with that ride please?"

Finally I came to Winn Rd. "Hey, I know where that is" I thought. But which way? Hmm..... Rather than risk getting even further away I used my cell to call Wifey to look up some directions. No answer. So I called my friend Mike. He pointed me in the right direction, but to be honest I was just ready to guess and go the direction where the road was clear of snow. Then as it by some sort of weird fate, I stuffed the phone in my jacket, turned around and there was a car at the intersection across the road with a road bike on the back. He looked at me, waved and pointed the direction I was to go, then gave me thumbs up as if to say "got it?" I returned the thumbs up and continued on. THAT was freaky.

I was very thankful that I took a bar along (not sure why I did, I guess I know my pension for getting lost) with me 'cause I was feeling the effects of the cold, the unplanned detour and the beginnings of what might be a bonk. Finally I met back up with Baseline Rd. and pedaled back in the direction I THOUGHT was correct. A few miles passed by, a few farms passed by and I started to doubt if I was heading the right way. Then I saw my tire tracks on the opposite shoulder's thin layer of snow and knew I was heading the right way. Whooosh!

Finally I was heading back into town and back to my crib. Damn, it felt good to get home. I hoped for 30 mile or so spin, I ended up with 53.5 miles on the day and over 130 miles in the past 3 days. YIKES! A long hot shower, a pizza ordered and couch time with Jake The Dog was on tap for a few hours before I got the energy to come get my blog on. After 7 days straight of "doing stuff" I might take a full day off tomorrow or just do an easy indoor spin and listen to some newly acquired tunes.

BTW, me thinks I need a GPS! Ha!

Later.

Now THAT Was A Ride

2012-01-07T18:01:00.007-05:00

January continues to rock some great weather here in Michigan. By "great" I of course mean it's not snowing that much and the temps are hovering between 32 and 45 instead of -10 and 30 with snow blowing out of every orifice Jack Frost has. Until the deep snow comes, rides will happen and today was a damn fine one.

I hooked up with my friend Mike for a 3 hour road ride on cross bikes that was a road ride pretty much in name only. In reality it was a sweet Ultra CX type ride: pavement, muddy dirt roads, ice covered dirt roads, abandoned roads, a short hike-a-bike, some doubletrack and even a small section of singletrack. It had it all!

Mike has lived in Mt. P. a long time, so I let him pick the route and he came up with a damn fine one. Out of town we went and onto some dirt roads, then some nice paved roads. Then onto a muddy doubletrack ATV type trail that would lead us to more pavement and a quick detour through Deerfield Park on wide trails to M-20.

Many of the dirt roads SOMEHOW continue to be covered in thick layer of snow packed ice. No pictures of them today, since I was too busy holding on for dear life and trying to unclench my anus that was puckered up like I just had a lemon juice enema (2nd enema reference this week if you're keeping score at home).

For the life of me I can't understand how some of the roads are snow and ice packed?? We haven't had more than and inch or two of snow here! I guess the folks out on those roads get it shipped in from somewhere else and dumped on their roads to keep stupid cyclists like me on their toes.

The first hour or so we enjoyed some nice sunshine, then the sun sort of went away and the clouds rolled in. It made for some chilly riding, sort of like riding in an open meat locker with an industrial sized fan blowing on you. The best thing about a strong headwind is that sooner or later you get a strong tailwind that makes riding along at 23 mph an easy spin. I just wish there would have been more of it.

We hit some nice hills and rollers and I think I had my heart rate up higher than its been since the race season ended. Even the smaller hills on the dirt roads felt hard with the head wind, soft dirt and occasional stretches of ice. All of that helped me to burn off 2,000+ calories and that surely helped burn some of the 10 pieces of Hungry Howie's Pizza I ate last night (review of that to come, ha!).

Not sure how much longer Ma Nature will let us suckle at here teet of moderate winter temps, but I plan to keep suckling as long as I can, for sooner or later Mr. Frost is gonna blow out his pipes on us and I fear that it's gonna suck ass.

5 hours of outdoor riding in two days... in JANUARY. Hope I can get out for more tomorrow.

Later.

P.S. An alternate title for this post could have been "Mike's Back," or "Photos of Mike's Ass." NOT to be confused with the former posts "The Back of D-Pow" or "D-POW's Ass."

That Felt Good. Not Great... But Good.

2012-01-06T18:19:00.008-05:00

I installed the Moose Mitts on the El Mariachi yesterday morning. Today I took them off. Freaking 45+ degrees in January... in Central-ephing-Michigan?? NOT that I am complaining, except that the warm temps turned the road to a quagmire. This time I at least had my fenders on. Not that they helped that much.

Shit was pretty bad. The first dirt road I take is sort of a paved road that the state have apparently just decided to give back to the dirt. It's usually not too muddy, just riddled with man head sized pot holes. Today though it was covered in a tacky mud and some snow patches, not too bad but unusual. I kept rolling.

Then it was on to the real dirt roads. YIKES! They were a gooey mess. I found myself LOOKING for the snow covered parts of the road to get me to the paved roads I know.

But there were many miles of soggy road to roll first...

Then some slush...

Then some packed snow that was actually a blessing to ride on...

Then finally about 10 miles of pavement to get me home...

After months of riding the cX bike on the dirt road, riding a HT 29er felt like I was trying to pedal a tank. I was shocked at how much higher my heart rate was on the mountain bike. A stiff cross wind and head wind for most of the ride didn't help that either. It was sort of like getting DOUBLE the benefits though. And right now I am after calorie burn and burn I did today.

Not sure what was going on with this pic. It somehow managed to make my legs looks skinny, conceal my muffin top AND my turkey gobbler all in one pic. Strange, but I'll take it.

Cold weather is back tomorrow, but not crazy cold. Should be another good day to ride and another good day to burn some calories. About 11 weeks and 23 more pounds to go before my first race of 2012.

Later.

This Could Be Worse

2012-01-04T17:49:00.000-05:00

I'd like to complain about this annoying head cold that Wifey shared with me (she's so awesome), that's just the way I am, but even though I am not feeling 100% (more like 68.2% with the occasional shot to 74.1% when a generous amount of caffeine is injected to all the right areas) I am still getting workouts in. Granted the workouts are inside and only a bit over an hour long, but sweaty, calorie burning workouts nonetheless.

The Michigan winter continues to be lame and tame (NOT complaining). A coating of snow here and there, but this time last year we were already ballz deep in the white stuff. Now there's no real snow on the ground and I sort of feel like a stinky used wash rag. The 10 day forecast looks pretty darn not bad, so hopefully I can get out in the coming days.

I headed down to beautiful downtown Alma (A.K.A. Scotland, USA) today to pick up my newly rebuilt wheel from Napper at Terry's. While I was there I picked up a front/rear fender package for my El Mariachi. I have some sweet fenders my bud Y-Nizzle back in PA gave me for the cross bike, but had nothing for the El-M. With the dirt roads now in their icy war like winter condition, I tend to want to ride the El-M. 29 x 2.1s attached to a ti frame feels way better than 700 x 40s attached to an aluminum one. But hey, that's just me, some folks like that P.M.I.T.A. prison type stuff, I tend to shy away from it whenever possible... and it be possible. Especially since I really need a drink before that sort of stuff. I kid of course.

Another bonus to my trip to Terry's was that Napper had his copy of Lemmy The Movie there for me to borrow. YES!! Very geeked. Should be some nice time wasting this weekend.

The winter weight shed and my attempt to lose the super sexy muffin top look I'm cultivating is going semi-well. I must have been bloated with all sorts of water retaining meats, cheeses and drinks 'cause I've dropped like 4 pounds in 3 days. Strange, but I'll take any good news I can get in that department. Only 26 more pounds of muffin top to go bitches.

I gotta go launch a snot rocket. Later.

Calories Burned, Bad Luck & Blue Balls

2012-01-02T20:02:00.006-05:00

We got snow last night, not much and I probably could have taken the mountain bike out on the dirt roads, but in my time frame the paved roads were still pretty slick. Had I been able to wait until afternoon they would have been clear enough to get to the snowy dirt roads for a ride. In any event a nice 1:25 calorie burn ride was done on the trainer. There was lots of sweat and lots of bad singing to the tune of Peace Sells, But Who's Buying? amongst others. Whatever it takes. At leas my pubix zit is only about the size of a small orange now. Who says lancing a zit in the crotchial area is bad?

Later on we went bowling with B-Man. I almost lost to him. I suck. Wifey kicked our asses. I took some photos and in the process my S95's flash got broke. It got jammed when Wifey took a pic and didn't realize that the flash wanted to pop up and it got jammed. I really never use the flash (I hate the way flash pics look) and in a pinch I can get it going manually, but it still sucks to have something break on an expensive camera. Stupid place to put a flash. Stupid, stupid stupid. Worse thing was that I ended up deleting the pic anyway. The lighting was bad and my head looked like the ass of a beached whale with a too short hair cut. Don't ask.

B-Man pensively studying the score board.
I narrowly beat him by like 3 pins. I suck.

I also successfully obtained Wifey's head cold today. Yay! I should have known bad luck was my way when I had a blue ball with the No. 13 on it. No one likes blue balls.

Later.

Rewards: No. 1

2012-01-01T19:46:00.000-05:00

The trainer ride never happened today. I was feeling all sorts of coffee fueled mojo and even went so far as to concoct a new metal mix for the hour (Motorhead, Metallica, Slayer and Megadeath). In the end I opted not to. The coffee high wore off, the mojo left and the painful pubix* crotch zit let me know that he was unhappy at the prospect of being aggravated for an hour. I knew I shouldn't have worn the same shorts every ride this week. I kid, not sure what it came from. Christ, I hope I didn't pick up some disease from a public toilet or something. Yikes.

By the way I can't believe I typed that I put together a metal mix for the trainer. I used to be into those metal back in high school, but then just sort of outgrew it and moved on to other types of music. While not my favorite genre by any means, I have grown to dig riding the trainer to it lately.

Now to non bike related silliness...

Rewards: Replacing Old Bad Habits With New Bad Habits

In 2012 I plan to make some adjustments to my life. Not to get too into it, but let's just say in the past few years, to be honest since I started XXC Magazine, I have developed some bad eating and drinking habits to cope with the stress. So I am doing some cold turkey type adjustments for the month of January (yep, the longest, coldest, most boring month there is) to jump start some normality. am the type that needs a reward at the end of the day, week, month, etc., to focus on. So I have decided that my reward at the end of each week of this cold turkey ass shit will be attempting to taste pizza from different joint in Mount Pleasant. Yum!

I figured I'd get the the mozzarella ball rolling today and order up a pie from Jet's Pizza.

J-E-T-S... JETS! JETS! JETS!

I am a sucker for a goofy logo. Now I am NOT implying that a cartoon of an Italian man (I assume, that's not profiling, is it?) wearing a jet pack and carrying a pizza is goofy, but it's not NOT goofy either. The JET'S type in Italian flag colors was a bonus too. Ha!

Went with a large 10 cut, square pan pizza for $12.18 (+tax and tip), half pepperoni, half plain. I'm not usually a fan of pan pizza, seems I burned out on the Pizza Hut grease sponge version of pan pizza ages ago, but this one was aces. It had no grease soaked bottom and had a super tasty outer edge as you can see in the photo below....

The pieces weren't huge, but not TOO small. The crust wasn't too heavy either. The crispness of the edges made the pizza and there was a nice amount of sauce. Nothing chaps my thighs like a dry pizza. I MIGHT like this pie better if it were round, but that's just me. This was the first time I ever had JET'S and I have to say I was happy, everything seemed fresh, the crust was good, and best of all it tasted great. The delivery time as a bit slow at about 45 minutes, but it saved me from going out in the wet slush and snow today. 45 just seemed a bit long for a town as long as a couple of football fields. Plus I assumed the delivery person would be an Italian man with a jet pack. Score: 8/10.

Next up Cabin Pizza, Pisanellos, Pizza King, Hungry Howie's...

So there you go, the first ever (?) pizza review on a bike blog.

Why is it that New Year's always reminds me of this scene from Trainspotting? Issues...

*Pubix (pew-bicks) the manscapable crotchial area above the chamoised man gear area.

Day 365/1

2012-01-01T10:00:00.008-05:00

My post holiday week was a busy one filled with travel, dad duties with the off from school B-Man and of course Jake The Dog. Three days this week I found time for an hour on the trainer which felt real good. Saturday (New Year's Eve) I was given a blessed snow free winter day in Michigan so I too full advantage of it with a ride.

We had some rain, sleet and light wet snow through the week so I knew the gravel roads would be in horrific condition. The plan was to avoid all but the couple that would get me to some of the pavement I wanted to ride. I should have taken the time to install the fenders on the Cx bike, but instead I just looked them on the floor of the sun porch as I exited the house. IDIOT!

On my short cut through the park I found the walking path a solid hunk of snow and ice. I'm not real sure how I kept the bike upright. Luckily the actual roads were pretty good. Wet, and fender worthy, but better than the dirt and gravel roads. They were indeed horrific. The ride was basically a big square with short section of bombed out gravel road in one or two parts.

When I was 1/3 finished I still felt good and wanted to keep riding, so I did an out and back on one nice rolling section of pavement. Glad I did, 'cause that got me to just under 40 miles on the day and put a grin on my face to end 2011.

We had plans to go to The Bird (a local college bar) for some beers and pizza to celebrate the New Year, BUT we found out that they were closed for the night and most of the other places in town were booked or only open till 10. Hmmm.....

Time for Plan B. We decided on walking to the brewery (how awesome is having a brewery just a 10 minute walk from the house??) for food and beers, then meeting back at our crib for some ball dropping and hanging out. Plan B. turned out great. In fact I was sort of happy to NOT be out on New Year's Eve. Even though we wouldn't have had to worry about driving (everything would have been in walking distance), I still hate being out, seeing a bunch of morons, when I could be in my own home with friends being a moron. I could have gone for some Bird pizza though, it's pretty dee-lish.

Day One of 2012 has greeted me with cold drizzling rain and snow on the way, so it looks like it will be more time on the trainer. I am anxious to get this year started, I want to make some changes (mentally, physically and work wise) and I am stoked to get them all started. NOT resolutions, just some life changes for the better. Some things will not be easy but I need to test myself and see.

Later.

I'll Take It

2011-12-28T17:11:00.001-05:00

Spinning on the trainer is not my first, or even my second choice for riding my bike. Or would that be for NOT riding my bike? But it does feel oh-so-ephing-good when you haven't been in the saddle for 5 days.

I am on full time Dad duty all week since B-Man is off and Wifey has a real job that pays cash money, so a "real" ride was out of the question. BUT B-Man is old enough that he was content to hang out in his Man Cave off the main part of the basement whilst I did an hour on the trainer listening to the latest Kasabian release.

Today was all about getting the riding legs back and letting them know that Christmas break was just a lull in the action before things get ramped up for the 2012 season. Pretty sure the Barry-Roubaix will once again kick off my race season. I am leaning towards getting back the suffering and upping to the full on 61 mile version for 2012 rather than the 35 mile.

My friend Chris dropped by the house today to show me the Surly Pugsley that Motorless Motion got in recently. It was freaking sweet!!! WAY to small for me, but it was neat to pedal it around. I found myself wishing I had more than a thin crisp layer of crusty snow in my backyard. Not many bikes have EVER inspired such thoughts.

In my perfect world I would have the means to get my newly arrived Moose Mitts on a snow bike for the Michigan winters, but shit ain't perfect and as it is we don't have enough snow (in late December??) to make it worth my while I suppose. Even if I did have a way to get my chilled and saggy ass cheeks on one, I would got with something not steel. It just makes sense to me that a bike ridden in the snow/ice/water/sand be made of something less corrosive than steel. But that's just me.

Oh well, time to make some food.

Later.

That Was NIce....

2011-12-27T20:57:00.007-05:00

Christmas was pretty sweet. My family and I are very lucky to have such a generous family and the ability to give B-Man a very sweet "Santa" filled Christmas. But, it's now time to get back to some basic living and routine (thank GOD!).

I am very anxious to get back in the saddle, whether it be on the trainer, the trail or on the dirt roads. I got an itch in the chamois regions, and while some antibiotic cream might clear that up, some saddle time will help even more.

Thanks again to all our family for their generosity and to Wifey for continuing to put up with a dead beat like me. Love yinz.

Later.

Merry and All That Jazz

2011-12-24T22:17:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and all that jazz. Great night with family tonight. Jake The Dog was a hit and well behaved, B-Man had a blast. Time to hang with Wifey, have a couple Hope Devil's and get ready for Christmas Day. Woot!!

Later.

One Foot In Front Of The Other

2011-12-24T09:13:00.003-05:00

We headed back to PA on Thursday afternoon. The xB was too loaded down with Christmas cheer, Jake The Dog and we humans to fit any bike gear, so I needed to come up with a plan to blow the pre-holiday stink off of me. So Friday I went to White Oak park to walk a few miles. Yes walk.

The original plan was to hike some of the trails, but the ground was a muddy, soggy mess and you know I can't mess up my kicks, yo. So I strapped on my iPod and walked whilst jamming to some tunes. It was sort of refreshing but also frightening in a "my God is this what my life will be like when I'm too old or lazy to ride my bike" sort of way.

It also brought back some memories, both good and bad.

Memory One: As most of you readers know, when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was a big blob of 300 lb. human flesh. One day in the fall or winter of (1992?) I decided enough was enough and was determined to not have to go out and purchase size 44 waist pants. The problem was that I was too embarrassed with the way I looked to be seen out exercising in public, so I would head out during the the dark evening and walk a big loop hitting as many of the hills my town had. It was a LOT of work for someone my size who hadn't exercised in years. But it worked. Walking combined with watching my diet jump started the fat loss that eventually had me confident enough to buy my first mountain bike (A rigid fork GT Timberline or something like that). The rest is Soiled Chamois history.

Memory Two: December 27th, 1999. I arrived at work after a brief Christmas holiday vacation. I was the first one to the office. I made coffee and settled into to my desk. Just as I was ready to start some work (or goof off, I can't remember) the phone rang, it was my dad. He was frantic and said something really bad was wrong with my mom, to get home fast. I sprinted out of work and fired up my small Honda Civic hatchback. I drove as fast as I could, taking the little Hatchback's speedometer to places it probably should not have gone.

I arrived home to find no one there, I was sure they had gone to the hospital 10 or 15 minutes away. Back to Honda and once again I found myself driving fast and praying to God in hopes that what I thought was happening was NOT actually happening.

It was happening.

I ran into the emergency room asking about my mom and was lead into a room where my brother and sister in law were standing by my father who was sitting in chair inconsolably crying. He looked up at me with his eyes filled with tears. "She's gone, your mom's gone." I started to tremble, then cry. I think I punched something.

A few minutes later we were allowed to say goodbye to my mom who's body laid still in the room next to us. I wish to God I never would have gone in that room. Her color was gone and her skin was ice cold except for the warm tears that rolled off my cheeks and on to her. I should not have gone in there. I should have been told "no, remember her the way she was." The rest of the day was a blur of tears, rage, tears, hugs and crying with my family.

The next day it started to snow, we were gathered at parent's home. We were all exhausted with sadness. Someone, I think it was my brother or maybe it was Wifey, suggested going for a walk in the snow. So Wifey, my brother and I headed out into the falling snow. We walked around the neighborhood talking, trying (and pretty much failing) to not talk too much or think too much about what had just happened. Still, there was a peace to that walk that was amazing. Each cold gust of wind or wet snowflake in the face was beautiful. It was a gentle reminder from someone (my mom? A higher power? God?) to not take the little things in life (clean crisp winter breezes and big beautiful snowflakes) for granted and to REALLY cherish the big, amazing things (family, loving wives, the birth of a son years later).

While I can't say that going on that walk did anything to help the overwhelming sadness of losing my mother, it did help calm me down and put things in perspective just by putting one foot in front of the other.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I went for a walk because I didn't have my bike. I would have rather rode my bike, but walking had to do. I'll be glad to get back on my bike, the memories are better.

Later.

I Promised Slayer Videos

2011-12-21T21:06:00.001-05:00

But I like THIS version way better...

Later.

It's Been 3, I mean 4 Days

2011-12-20T17:07:00.005-05:00

I started writing this last night, but then got sidetracked with stuff...

It's been 3 days and counting since I've been on the bike outside. Boooo! It's also been 12 hours since Jake The Dog has been a pain in my ballz. Dude needs to CHHHHIILLLLLL THHHHE FUCCCKKKKKK OUTTTTTTTT!!!! Potty/Crate/House training is making my ass/ballz ache. CURSE YOU JAKE THE DOG!! CURSE YOU FOR BEING CUTE ENOUGH TO MAKE ME TOLERATE A DOG!!! He's IS slowly chilling out and being good, so I can't complain too much. But I will. Plus he makes B-Man and Wifey pretty damn happy and that makes me happy, so I'm doing my best to become one with Jake.

The week as I know it, is officially fucked for riding. I thought MAYBE Thursday night, but as it turns out we're leaving on Thursday instead of Friday now. I have been keeping up inside on the trainer, but I can only listen to so much metal before I want to

sacrifice a goat and/or virgin OR sacrifice a virgin whilst wearing goat skinned pants.

But I dowhataIgottado to get by.  Now to do some work and digest some bacon. Yeah... bacon.

Later.

Frozen Saturday Goodness

2011-12-18T20:43:00.005-05:00

After a week that I would just as soon forget do to the amount of things I fucked up, I was happy to get out on dirt on Saturday. Temps were chilly, the ground was frozen and up on the trails of MMCC a light dusting of snow made things look nice and festive without making things slow.

Temps weren't nuts, but enough to freeze the bottle a bit and freeze an earthworm to my frame. It was also cold enough that I should have worn my winter shoes. I didn't and ended up taking a short cut and aborting at mile 17 of a planned 20ish mile ride.

I should have rode today too, but I was freaking tired. A late night on Friday at Wifey's holiday party, dealing with Jake The Dog and all the shit that I had to deal with on the XXC side of life this week had me just wanting to lay around, drink beer, play video games and eat. I did all quite well, thank you very much.

The coming two weeks are the beginning of "hell" A.K.A. Christmas/NY weeks.

12.19 Open (except for work).
12.20 B-Man's last day of school before holiday break.
12.21 & 22 entertain B-Man.
12.23 Drive 7 hours to PA & a scheduled dinner party that night.
12.24 Christmas Eve day/night at my Dad's house.
12.25 Christmas Morning, Breakfast & Dinner at my in law's house.
12.26 Open, but surely something.
12.27 Anniversary of my mother's passing & drive home to MI.
12-28, 29, 30 Wifey at work, I entertain B-Man all day.
12.31 New Year's Eve (Probably at The Bird with some friends).
1.12 2012 begins, as does drying out and focusing on the 2012 season of XXC and racing.

On a positive side of things, I am looking forward to chilling, catching up on sleep and ingesting as many carbohydrates as I can. I am also stoked to start work on the next XXC. I often find myself thinking that the next issue will be the last issue, but at least for now I am just going with the stoke I'm experiencing. Nothing wrong with that I suppose.

Later.

Underestimated

2011-12-15T19:57:00.003-05:00

Based on what a fuck up Ozzy Osbourne is now I totally underestimated how good Black Sabbath actually were. Sorry.

What's that got to do with cycling? Nothing. What's-it-to-ya??

I rode the trainer today. I listened to Black Sabbath. It didn't suck and I felt happy.

Later.

The Pains Of Growing

2011-12-14T16:23:00.008-05:00

I got nothing. Well, not NOTHING, but not much worth reading... Today was the first day since Sunday that I could ride and it pissed down rain all day. Boooo! Such is life. I'm just riding the rest of this year out anyway. I'm holding my weight steady, on the good side of NOT having a (another?) nervous breakdown and looking forward (oddly) to chilling with family and friends this Christmas. Come January I will continue to keep on keepin' on with the riding and the training that I like to call "doing stuff," but will be getting extreme on limiting the intake of some certain fluids. I need to get back to close to normal or check myself into rehab. I joke. Sort of.

I actually found myself going through the process of applying to the USPS today. What a pain in the balls that was! I wanted to get my job info out there if something would open up near M.P.. I think a job like there, UPS or some such place is all I could really do at this point in my life. I really have no other skills other than the minute amount of design skills I have and I'm 40.5 years old. I'm also not sure my 1990s art school skills are gonna get me too far (see xxcmag.com for more of that). Plus let's be honest, I'm not the brightest bulb in the batch.

It pains me to say this (and this is just me, not Wifey talking here) I need to make some money. Right now I am caught in a tight spot- the mag means so much to me and I have put a ton of work, passion and money into it, so I don't want to give it up but I need to make more money at it to keep it and myself going. As it is right now, I have NO real retirement plan, no "plan B." if something would (God forbid) happen to Wifey there is NO way could support myself (let alone B-Man) for more than a week with what the magazine is giving me. I hate to say all that, but it's true.

I have NO plans to give it up, but I feel it needs to change or I will end up in a bad way mentally (fried) and physically (dead). I think there are folks out there who think this is my hobby or that I do it for shits an giggles. I do it because I love the sport and love giving the endurance cycling community a magazine it deserves. I also love using what talents I do have to the best of my ability. BUT I also need to survive, so I need to think more about how to do that AND keep my sanity and self out of debt.

I think I read somewhere that there is some sort of rule in business that says you should never complain or show your weakness, but I'm not much of a business man. I AM the sort that needs to write stuff out like this to either A. Look at it later and realize what a ball sack I was, or B. develop a plan to avoid more of the same. You can think me a douche for typing this stuff, fine by me. Any bad shit you may think of me is only about 1/10000th of the bad shit I'm already thinking about myself. So no worries there.

I really did not like typing that stuff and admitting that while the magazine is more popular than it's ever been, I have no business plan for success. What was that I said earlier in the post? Oh yeah... "Such is life." All I can do is keep plugging away and do what is best for me and my family.

For now here is a shot or two of my ride on Sunday. Could be a few more days until I experience such riches. Did an hour on the trainer today jamming to Girl Talk, but not sure how many more of those I got in me.

Later.

Survival Mode

2011-12-13T21:20:00.004-05:00

Wow, I still can't believe it's 12.13 and we still have not had any snow here. If it weren't from the fact that I have been slightly overwhelmed by the recent publication of XXC #14 and all the things that I manage to fuck up every time I publish something I may have been able to ride in shorts/short sleeves on Monday.

I also Monday was volunteered to help decorate B-Man's classroom for Christmas on Monday after school and today was an onslaught XXC mistakes I made that needed fixing (fix/make eps/make pdf/upload/make download pdf/upload/make Issuu pdf/upload/then do it all again because I surely fucked something else up. I need like 2 weeks ensconced in some sort of "retreat" center. Or at least locked in my room with a couple cases of cold beer, some video games and the hi-fi blasting the Black Angels. Or not... Maybe just some exercise or something?

Oh well, someday I'll say it was all worth it. Right? RIGHT?? Ha!

I did get out for a nice gravel ride on Sunday, took a bunch of pics, but right now I'm on the lap top and ready for bed, so I'll probably post some stuff up tomorrow or so. I'm sure you'll be holding your breath.

Later.

Good, Frozen (UGGG!!!)

2011-12-10T17:14:00.011-05:00

Wow, we have been damn lucky here in central Michigan... it's early December and we have yet to have a snow fall. I mean NOTHING (glad I didn't buy that snow bike), well at least here in MP. I'll take it. Of course it was freaking 13 degrees when I got up to take Jake The Dog out to take his 3 a.m. dump and only 20 somethin' when I went for a ride up at MMCC today.

This week has been a blur of dog shit (literally), dog pee (literally), last minute changes to XXC #14 and to xxcmag.com. In other words: UG!!! BUT I did get a couple rides in (outside) and a few inside. It's almost like I'm training for something, but I really have no idea what that "something" is. Might be more of what last year was, or I might try to incorporated something new in, like a stage race. It's looking like it will just be more of the same unless I get a (real non cycling media) job to supplement the mounting XXC debt. We'll see.

If you've been following along this week, I thought I would give up the blog for a while. Turns out out I haven't. I was fine with not blogging but then I saw that Dicky was blathering about his weight gain, thus violating the Royal Order of Aging Narcissistic Cycling Bloggers 2011 official union contract (Section A., article 21) that prohibits the copping someone else's shtick. The "aging fat dude racing thing" is mine dude, so take your gang of jack booted Dirt Rag hippie thugs (and their giant circulation)and BACK. THE FUCK. OFFFFF!! OK, OK, I'm calming down... give me some room here.

Rather than blather on too much about what I didn't do this week, I thought I would just post a few pics of what I DID do and saw. Kay? Cool.

I rode some dirt/gravel roads. It was sunny, but my nips got frozen.

I rode a smidge on Winn Road. (A.K.A. The Flattest Most Boring Road In The World)

Funny thing was, as I got up ahead there were two po-po cars with a pickup truck pulled over, a dude in the back of the cop car and a less than thrilled chick in the front seat of the pick up. I filed all that under "I'm glad that's not me" and kept on pedaling into the wind at 13 mph. Seriously, 13 MPH on this fucking road??!! It has 0% grade!!! UGGGG!!! Maybe Winn isn't so boring after all? Nah... it is.

I tried to keep Jake The Dog out of the bottle returns. It didn't work. I had to move them but not before nabbing this pic of him, the bottles and his bulldog anus. One of the few times I saw his anus this week that shit wasn't spewing out of it. UGGG!

He is cute though (does my use of the word cute make me sound gay? Hope not. Not that there's anything wrong with that). He is a handful right now. To which I say- UG!!!

Saturday I got out for some singletrack goodness at MMCC. It was only like twenty-fucking degrees at ride time and my bottle froze to slush but the trails were in PERFECT condition! The sand was all frozen, the dirt was hard pack and there was a NEW section of singletrack which added about another mile to the ride. Virgin singletrack is always good. Of course I must admit that being a 40+ year old male I get a bit creeped out at typing "virgin." Oh well, I'll get over it.

I didn't ride all that long, just about 1:10, but had fun outside freezing my aging low hanging balls off in 20 degree temps. Plus I bagged my first frozen bottle of the winter. I'm sure there will be more.

Funny thing was, this time last year, I rode at MMCC in the snow. That was fun, but this was sort of better. I'd give my left nut and right nipple for 80 degrees, sun, and some cold beer afterwards. Looks like at least a few more months ahead for that though...

Later.

P.S. I've had a few beers tonight, thus my use of the f-bomb. Sorry.

So The Break Didn't Take, Sue Me

2011-12-08T18:43:00.008-05:00

This shot was from yesterday, doesn't mean I don't dig it. Yeah, we might not have huge climbs here, but enough of these soft dirt risers over 30 to 50+ miles is enough to make up for a few stiff climbs.

I should put my money were my mouth (or my where my home row keyboard fingers are) and race something like the Dirt Kanza or Gravel Worlds. Hmm.... I wish, turns out I just don't have that much fitness/talent. Wish I did.

No chance to ride today, so an hour on the trainer listening to Kasabian had to do. Not sure why, but I really dig that band. My alt/indie sensibility tells me that I should NOT like them, yet I do. Sue me (again).

Later.

2011-12-08T08:28:00.003-05:00

Taking a short break from my break. Sorry. Later.

Break Time

2011-12-06T12:54:00.005-05:00

Taking a blog vacation for a bit. Nothing too much worth talking about right now. Check out xxcmag.com for if you're looking to get a fix of MTB/gravel culture. See you in a week(?) or so. Time to regroup. Thanks.

Later.

I Proved Me Right

2011-12-01T18:45:00.002-05:00

I said I wouldn't ride today. I was right, and it was worth it!

The week before PLANNED publishing of XXC is always the busiest and most stressful. I still have stories out and I'm still trying to tidy up the last bits of what I DO have. On top of that there is the day to day operations of filling orders, trips to the post office and blog posts. It's all good though. Except for the no riding thing. For the fourth day in a row I had to settle for the trainer while temps creeped into the mid 40s and no rain/snow. Crap-ola. I can almost guarantee you that by the time this issue publishes and my schedule calms down there will be 3 feet of snow on the ground.

But it wasn't all bad... lots of work was done and Wifey came home for lunch. And Wifey coming home to join me for lunch is ALWAYS a good thing.

On the bike side of things: I am STILL waiting for my TRP CX9 brakes and new Stan's rim to come in. Jeezuesssss! I was stoked to see that my Stan's goo fill seems to have taken and the Spearfish's wheels are holding air. Yeah-uzzz!

Less than a month 'till Christmas. Ug. Not a fan, but for some reason this year I don't have my normal feeling of utter dread. Strange. I guess there's still time for that.

Later.

As far as riding I have to say that even though I have had to ride the trainer when the weather said I should be outside, I can't complain. I've got over 4 hours in, burned a ton of calories and have been happy with the workouts. Today was a real kneecap buster doing some BIG ring climbing.

Looking forward to Saturday when I have time to get out for a ride. I'm also looking forward to picking up Mozzer the dog with B-Man and Wifey. For the record B-Man is insisting that the dog be named Mozzer. For real... I offered up Lemmy, Ozzy, Jake and Watson, but it keeps coming back to Mozzer. Not that I care. Just looking forward to getting our boy home and starting the madness. :)

Later.

I Can Admit When I'm Wrong... CUSS!

2011-11-30T20:34:00.004-05:00

Today proved to be no different than the past few days.... I should have rode outside 'cause we ain't got no snow and the weather was PERFECT (40 and sunny), but work got in the way and I rode the trainer. As Mr. Fox would say... CUSS!!! Too much to do + not enough hours in the day + Wifey's bowling night = me on the trainer for an hour and hating life. OK, that seems strong.

Today was the sort of day that was rip fore riding too, the sort of day that I will kick my own self in the balls for not riding. But that's just the way it is. Shit needs done, shit gets done. Period, dash CUSS!

After I picked B-Man up at school I did get to shoot over to Mo-Mo for some Stan's goo and an injector. Mmmm.... goooo.... mmmm..... injector. Now the Spearfish is aired up good. I still need a new rim and a new valve core for the El Mariachi, but I am getting there. Slowly.

Jury is out on how long it takes for me to stick that nozzle in one of my orifices'.

In other news; The new issue of Rouleur showed up on Monday. Freaking GOOD! Love that mag. All other mags (other than XXC Magazine) can suck it. Shit, I don't even REALLY dig road racing and that mag has me loving it. I used to think that the text was too "flowery," but in hindsight I think I was just not in the right frame of mind. The best part is their coverage of old school racing. Back when the peloton had some ballz and often the roads were made of dirt.

OK, time to take my tired ass to bed and say halfheartedly that I will ride outside tomorrow.

Later.

I Feel So Dog Gone

2011-11-29T20:34:00.003-05:00

XXC business got the better of me today, which meant that I was forced to do a quick trainer ride at lunch rather than a brunch time roll out on the gravel roads. Probably for the best as just about 10 miles south of MP the weather was shit. Rain/snow/sleet/wind... UG!

Later today Wifey and I took B-Man shopping. At least that's what we told him we were doing. We actually went to a visit with a dog breeder to pick out a dog. B. has been after us for about a year for a dog and I have avoided it for a year. Since I will be mostly responsible for the dog (being that I am home most of the day) I told Wifey that the only dog I could put up with is an English Bulldog.

I have loved bulldogs since I was a kid and even used to do a cartoon about one when I was in about middle school or so. They are a low maintenance type of breed which is good for us since we have a small yard and most importantly they are real good with kids. I am also drawn to dogs that can't catch and bite me when I'm on my bike, so none of those f*ckers out on the farm roads were considered.

As an added bonus B-Man loves bulldogs too (our old neighbors had one) and just bought a stuffed one last weekend. Now he has a real one, not to be too corny here's a couple bad pics of the new dog "_________."

To say B-Man was stoked would be an understatement. He was in his glory when he realized that we weren't just there looking but to get one of our own. On the way home he said that on a scale of 1 to 10 his happiness level was about a billion-trillion. Sweet!

We don't have a name yet. I suggested Mozzer or Moz (the nickname of my fave British recording artist- Morrissey). Wifey loves the idea and B-Man digs it too since he sort of likes Morrissey too (he doesn't know enough to be depressed by him yet). But then again B. also thinks Dave is a good name for a dog too, so we shall see come Saturday when we pick the little guy up.

OK, lots to do; work stuff, ride/spin stuff, bike parts to get, Christmas presents to get and now dog stuff.

Later.

A Weak Week Start

2011-11-28T18:18:00.005-05:00

The start of another week took me to the post office with about 15 packages to mail. The woman waiting on me did an amazing job of weighing/stamping/tagging and never flinched at the amount of stuff (AKA sweet XXC Mag merch) that I had piled up in front of her. Now the 10 plus folks behind me.... Well I have a feeling that they thought differently of me. But who gives an eph? I'm trying to make a living here! Ha!

I am very much behind on getting work done on XXC #14 so a ride had to be squeezed in on the trainer for an hour on lunch. It was still pretty darn not bad since I got to spin to my fave bitzs from the new DJ Shadow CD and from Girl Talk's Stop Cleveland Hate e.p.. It was a smooth and funky spin for sure.

Now to chill with my just arrived on my front porch copy of Rouler mag #26.

Lots to do this week and some fun things happening.

Later.

Back In The 989

2011-11-27T16:45:00.003-05:00

After 5ish days of holiday travel, visiting and eating we are back in the 989 (we're back in central Michigan). Good food was had, good people and family were visited with and good times were had. I could do without all the driving and traffic, but whatcha-gonna-do? Such is life living away from family, etc.,

Lots of work to catch up on this coming week and lots of "training" to get back to. It's been sort of nice to be off the bike for a bit, but I realized that I don't do much that doesn't involve bikes. Looking forward to some low key riding up to the new year, getting back to my regular diet, and then turning attention to 2012.

--------------

BTW, many Soiled Chamois readers have been calling and e mailing me, asking about the change in the layout and font of the blog (OK, I admit no one has). Truth be told I just got tired of the old one. Not crazy about this, but I like the Courier font. It gives a real typed manifesto feel to the blog and basically that's what this is.

Later.

Low Laying Plans (and Bellies)

2011-11-25T09:45:00.002-05:00

Not doing much the past few days and weekend. Got a ton of work done on XXC and then traveled to Pittsburgh for T-Giving. I didn't bring the bike and of course the weather is great here. Had I brought it I can assure you it would be pissing down snow and rain. Oh well. I could use the time to get my brain back in line and catch up with family and friends.

Got thinking about bikes again. I may put a rigid fork on the El Mariachi for the winter. Not sure I trust my current Bontrager fork at my current weight though. I might get a cro-mo Salsa one to ease the mental thoughts of shards of fork going through my neck. Actually, I just think I need more steerer tube than I have on my Bontrager. Either way.

OK, off to watch my nephew play hockey and then on to hang with some friends later.

Later.

Wide Eyed. Legless.

2011-11-21T17:25:00.003-05:00

I read a piece in Rouler #25 about the book 'Wide Eyed and Legless'. I got pretty sucked into the article and found myself utilizing the remainder of an Amazon gift card to pick it up.

I'm not one to read TOO much about road racing and have very little interest in modern day road racing (other than some of the Spring Classics), but I figure 1987 is long ago enough that I could enjoy this firsthand look at the Tour de France. Jeff Connor joins the British team ANC Halfords as not just a reporter, but pretty much part of the team doing a variety of duties over the span of the Tour. EPO was just coming into vogue at the time, and the team was pretty new, so I am lead to believe there was no stashing of blood in any coolers or other such bullshit, but surely the drug topic will be brought up.

Looking forward to delving into this one this holiday week. Nothing can calm holiday melodrama like some skinny ass Pro Tour roadie melodrama.

Later.

Rolled and Chilled

2011-11-20T16:19:00.006-05:00

I sort of had it in my mind today that I wasn't going to ride. Not sure why. So I slept in, putzed, ate some breakfast, putzed more, then said the words that can make any boring, chilly, grey Sunday better... "fuck it, I'm riding."

The weather type people said that temps would be in the low 40s. Hmmm... Not sure it ever got out of the mid 30s for my 2 hours spin out on the gravelish dirt roads outside of Ehm-Pee. Not exactly freezing temps, but combined with some wind and no sun it would be chilly.

Hunting season is full on right now, unlike back in PA where the hunters take Sunday off from killin', here it's on 7 days a week. I have to say I was less than thrilled to hear gun shots echoing nearby as I rode through the farm lands. I got nothing against hunting, but I have to admit I have no real want to take a bullet on a ride.

Not sure why (must have been the tail wind), but I felt pretty darn no bad out on the CX bike today. I bagged a few farmer waves, saw a cool pheasant type bird up close, heard a few gunshots, saw one gutted deer hanging in someones' front lawn (camera didn't fire in time. Stupid digital camera lag times), saw some nice looking chickens struttin' their stuff and doin' their thang, and got a nice wind burn from the chilly head wind that I enjoyed (not so much) on my return trip. In other words it was a nice way to spend a couple hours today.

The coming week looks to be no better than last week for riding. I think I can squeeze a couple rides in early in the week but then the Holiday Trifecta of Evil begins and we head to PA for Thanksgiving. Not taking my bike. Sort of a pain in the ballz to take it for just a few days and our time is usually pretty spoken for when there and it would just add to the pressure of the travel family visiting experience to put pressure on myself to try to squeeze rides in. I think my sub par mediocrity will survive.

Later.

Sweet

2011-11-19T16:38:00.004-05:00

I FINALLY got back out on dirt today. Couple loops of dirt was just what I needed to blow the stink off of me. Oddly I felt pretty good today. Between the way my legs felt this morning and the lack of riding I just just assumed that the ride was gonna hurt. It didn't. That's sweet.

Later.

The Race Year: 2011

2011-11-18T19:43:00.001-05:00

This week hasn't had a lot in the way of riding but it has given me a bit of time to reflect on my 2011 race season. This season in a (made up) word was... goodgreatish. There were no amazing results, but it had a variety that my race seasons never have had and that not only spiced up the season, but increased the challenge.

The challenge of entering the world of XC racing after years dedicated pretty solely to XXC racing, was a challenge for sure. XC is to me was cross is to many others. It burns and hurts in a way that is different than endurance racing and when I'm doing it I can't wait for it to be over and then when it's over I can't wait to do it again. It's an addiction of sorts. It felt great to do it.

I have trouble saying which of my 13 races was my favorites, they all had some good parts, but in the end I think the middle distance XXCish Ore 2 Shore was my favorite. There wasn't much singletrack, but it was a race that I just felt "on" the entire time. No great result, but just a beautiful day in the saddle on a variety of dirt in the U.P.

Close second and 3rd comes the Ron van Stony and the Log Splitter XC. The RvS was a gravel race that I did on my CX bike, and just in the zone again for this one. There was cool temps, mud, and I was pushing hard the entire time, dragging some other folks with me. The low light was missing a turn at the end that cost me some places, but it didn't take that feeling of crushing some nice Michigan gravel away for too long. The Log Splitter was sort of like Ore To Shore. A variety of singletrack ski trails, double track and dirt roads. Again, no great result was had but I felt great the entire race and was even flying though the singletrack... a litte TOO fast actually as I missed a turn and had to backtrack. That seems to be a theme with me. Get in the zone, blow through signs and have to backtrack. GRR!!

The Hanson Hill 100 was pretty sweet too, as I got back on the hundie horse for the first time since 2009. I thought that wold carry me through the Lumberjack a few weeks later, but the heat and some dehydration had me bailing after 70 miles. Anymore once I know I'm dehydrated I tend to not want to risk too much with my thick blood and tendency for clots and DVTs.

You would think that the Iceman would be my most hated race. I had some serious bad luck with a flat just a few miles in. But actually I was pretty happy with my ability to deal with the bad luck and try to get myself back to the finish for a respectable time. I think it's sort of a tie between my Lumberjack DNF and the Yankee Springs TT. Yankee should have been great; my pre ride the week before I ripped off 3 great laps in good time in great conditions. Race day it was like 20 degrees and blowing snow. My legs felt like shit and I had little desire to race. But I did and got bitch slapped pretty good.

Hmmm... NO, the ball suck race award goes to my performance at Boyne! Damn that race hurt! I was all over the trail, got dropped fast, and each lap I thought about quitting. Somehow I finished, but I was less than thrilled with my performance, so yeah the Boyne Marathon wins the ball suck award. No wait... Lumberjack does. A DNF gets and automatic ball suck award.

I raced 13 races this year and rode literally thousands of miles, yet I found my now 40 year old the heaviest it's been since 1992 or so. Strange that with this weight gain, I was still fit and raced more than ever. While I hope that I am a few pounds lighter next season, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I'm still racing, still riding, still having a great time, my clothes still fit and I still get to fight crime on a semi-bi-weekly-full moon cycle basis. What's to complain about? Looking forward to next season and continuing to leave my comfort zone. Including trying out some new things like possibly stage racing at altitude. We shall see.... The Barry Roubaix and the start of my 2012 season will be here before I know it. I better start riding again PDQ!

Later.

Pffffffttttt....

2011-11-17T20:10:00.003-05:00

OK, this week has NOT gone how I planned, but it is going....

A. Wifey out of town all week in TC slinging law.
B. B-Man off school both Tuesday (hunting day) and Friday (Parent/Teacher conferences).
C. Lots of work to do on XXC #14
D. Lots of I don't give a pre-holiday fuck attitude going around (all me).
E. More of D.
F. More of D. and E.
G. Oh well...

Total minutes in the saddle since last Saturday.... 80. Brilliant.

There are some cool things afoot with xxcmag.com and peeps in the know, so that is cool.

Time to not give a D. E. and F.

Later.

Layin' Low, Not Hangin' Low

2011-11-15T17:46:00.002-05:00

The lack of posts here on the blog is reflective of a couple things, mostly being that I haven't been out on the bike since Saturday. That's about it. Sort of...

Sunday was yard work madness trying to get it all tidied up before the snow flies, Monday was me being ballz deep in the yet to be published XXC Magazine #14 and posts at xxcmag.com. Today brought the Deer Holiday... yep, a day off for kids for the opening day of rifle deer season here in Michigan. Since I don't hunt, me an B-Man hung out, played some soccer and went to the book store so he could get the new Diary Of A Wimpy Kid book (and has read 50+ pages already) while I looked at bike magazines. I then alternated between jealousy and overwhelming hatred for mankind.

Why? Well just because 98% of all magazine fall under some corporate publishing company. Because of their backing they can pay more cash, for more for stories, can offer subscriptions to boost numbers and in turn get advertisers to pay bills, etc.,. XXC can't do that. I get jealous, I get bitter, then I just say "fuck it," I'm pumping out a great mag by myself (along with my awesome contributors) and being a real fly in the ointment to some folks as they are forced to realize how they bullshitted folks into thinking that no one races mountain bikes anymore. I can live with that (for now), but it sure would be nice to get a pay check. Or at least attract freelance writers and photogs without offending them with the low pay out.

Speaking of pay checks... or is it sleep?

My sleep issues have improved as of late. Slightly, but still better. I think it has something to do with my dietary changes. Of course I still can't go to bed without 1. Having a panic attack about dieing. 2. Thinking about loved ones dieing. 3. Obsessing about what I need to do the next day and 4. Dreaming/having nightmares about working an office job, (usually at my old job at the paper), hating it, but knowing that I would get paid at the end of the day. I still wake up at 4 a.m. every day, but seem to be able to fall back to sleep a bit quicker. So that is good. I guess. Therapy beckons.

Back to school for B-Man tomorrow, so I hope to hit some trails. Wifey is out of town all week up in Traverse City, but I should be able to get some miles in whilst the little man is at school. I continue to be sorry for the lack of bike related material here. Please check out xxcmag.com for more ACTUAL posts about riding and endurance mountain biking. Thanks.

Later.

Two Days, Two DIFFERENT Rides

2011-11-12T20:08:00.007-05:00

This week has been strange. First I got a night ride in on Monday, something I hadn't done in a while, then it was two trainer sessions (booo!!!), and then Friday and Saturday I hit MMCC. Then to top it off, I went against my previous dietary comments, (inspired by Wifey's 15 pound drop) to give the whole low carb/high protein diet thing one more go and do it hardcore. Good Lord, it actually WORKED! Like FREAKY worked!! I swear to God I dropped like 7+ pounds in a week! A WEEK!

Now, I know I can't keep that up and much of it is water weight, it was still sort of freaky to see it something work so well. I also know I can't keep it up because while the trainer rides went well, the attempt at riding MMCC on Friday SSSSUUUUUCCCKED. It took all I had to do 12 miles. I was cold, tired and pissed so I retreated home. Again I say "Boooo!!!" Last night I upped the carbs and returned to MMCC today and had a MUCH better 20+ mile ride, where I rode at or above my threshold HR for most of the ride. It still hurt though and my body is still very much adjusting to the diet restrictions. Because of this there is NO way I can compete or "train" (in the loosest sense of the word) doing such a diet. BUT if it can get me down to where I need to be to feel comfortable in my skin again and not feel like I am behind the big 40 year old gut 8 Ball I will be stoked.

In looking at my numbers via thedailyplate.com I cannot believe that just a week ago there were days I took in 400+ grams of carbs and I dropped it to around 30 grams. I will be anxious to get back to a more normal diet, that's for sure.

Today's ride at MMCC was much better. It was warmer, I felt better and pushed harder. I ran into another dude out on the trail. I could see him through the trees but it was hard to tell if he was in front or behind me. I knew he was pushing hard so I push the pace. Turns out he was behind me, came up quick on me in some tight singletrack. I said "hi" and got no response. I think he wanted me to move over, but said nothing. Just sat RIGHT on my wheel. Sorry dude, we're not racing and in tight singletrack, I ain't moving, especially if you can't respond to me.

We hit a double track and he calls "on your left!" I move over say "go ahead" and let him pass. Turns out he had ear buds in. I friggin' hate when people ride with ear buds in. 1. Don't you want to hear the amazingness that is the sound of the wood and your bike on the trail?? And 2. It's just sort of douchey. I will also say the if the dude plans to ride that far up my ass in the future (not racing) he better have the goddamn common courtesy to give me a reach-around (thank you Gunnery Sergeant Hartman). Grrrrr...

It was a good ride though in some AMAZING 60+ degree and sunny temps. Gotta ride all I can 'cause by this time next month we should be nugget deep in snow.

BTW, did you see the new gear up on the xxcmag.com site? You should check it out. A new gravel inspired T and a new micro fleece beanie to keep your noggin warm. Back the cause, yo.

Later.

Plucked From The Box: Vol 1

2011-11-09T19:23:00.004-05:00

My race season is pretty much shot in the ass, the weather will be turning shitty (as it has the past 2 days) and that means time on the trainer will be increasing. With that, I have been inspired to do some new random stuff here on the blog. Here you go....

I've always loved music and find that it goes hand in hand with my riding and racing. No, I don't dig riding or racing with an iPod, but my time spent in the car traveling to and from rides and races, working and on the trainer is always fueled by my music collection.

I have a TON of CDs that have gone unripped to Mp3, and remained in boxes since our move to Michigan last fall.

Until now...

I have decided to pluck a random CD per week from the stash as I unpack, rip it, and devote one trainer ride that week to it. (That is IF I am forced to the trainer, and if the CD is not already on my iPod). So with that I introduce the new series entitled Plucked From The Box. (Also a possible name for waxing parlor).

Today's pluck was The Full Custom Gospel Sounds of The Reverend Horton Heat. By (you guessed it; The Reverend Horton Heat.

A pretty damn good CD for a spin workout (skipping Gin & Tonic Blues of course, that will drive you insane). But the CD is one fine example of up tempo rockabilly cow punk and one of my favorite RHH albums. The first 8 songs are perfect for some sweet spot tempo riding: Wiggle Stick, 400 Bucks, The Devil's Chasing Me, etc., just cook.

The Reverend Horton Heat
The Full Custom Gospel Sounds of The Reverend Horton Heat
Released in 1993 on Sub Pop Records

Wiggle Stick – 3:00
400 Buck" – 3:09
The Devil's Chasing Me – 5:31
Livin' on the Edge (Of Houston) – 2:52
You Can't Get Away from Me – 2:26
Beer:30 – 3:00
Big Little Baby – 2:31
Lonesome Train Whistle – 3:22
Bales of Cocaine – 2:11
Loaded Gun – 4:18
Nurture My Pig – 4:00
Gin and Tonic Blues – 3:39

The weather looks to be getting colder here for the next two days and the "S" word has been dropped in the forecast. Nothing too bad though, so I'm hoping for the best for some nice rides.

Later.

Unhappy Parts/Gear Updates

2011-11-08T19:34:00.004-05:00

If you read my Iceman post, then you saw that a flat was a real pain in my race day balls. That was simple to the growing financial ball pain increased I have coming my way...

1. I lost my Stan's valve stem to my front wheel on the side of the trail.
2. In my haste left my Co2 inflator on the side of the trail.
3. Noticed that my rear Stan's 355 rim on the El Mariachi is El Mari-f*cked.

Fantastic. There's an update that I didn't see coming. Frig. Since the 355s are no more Terry's has a Crest on order for me.

Ug. Tis the season I suppose. I could also do with a fork servicing, some new drive train parts, a new Co2 inflator and some fenders. I have a feeling that I might be in Terry's a lot the next few months.

Here's some video that I put together from the Iceman. My friend Chris shot the video while I was shooting the stills. Thanks Chris.

It was sort of cool to get a high five from 2011 World Champion Chatharine Pendrel.

Pissed down rain all day today. No ride, but lots of coffee and lots of work.

Later.

Night

2011-11-08T08:10:00.006-05:00

B-Man was at a friends house after school yesterday, so late afternoon I headed to MMCC to ride a couple laps. The first one would be in the crisp autumn dusk and the second would take me into the night.

Sun setting.

I headed out using the Amoeba light that I purchased last winter and hardly had a chance to use, since as soon as I got it, we got dumped on with snow. In the summer it doesn't get dark here 'till well after 9 p.m.. So anyway... The light is handmade, tight, bright and LIGHT. I had it on my helmet and never ONCE noticed that it was there (except for the amazingly bright light that it put out). It's been a while since I did any night riding, I always forget how fun it is.

Moon rising.

The only downfall is that the trails are REALLY covered with leaves right now, so full and constant attention was needed at all times. I'd love to rake the worst part of trails, but not sure what the trail steward's policy is on raking of the trails. Or if he even has one. I'll have to shoot him an e mail.

Riding by the light of the moon and several hundred lumens.

Real fun ride on the Spearfish and I'm glad that I got out, 'cause the rest of the week looks pretty crap for good riding.

Later.

Iceman 2011, Unlucky 13.

2011-11-07T20:56:00.001-05:00

I was a tad nervous going into to my first Iceman Cometh. My Michigan friends gave me some great advice though and said to just relax and take in the "experience" of the Iceman. It's beyond a race; it's more like a bicycle festival with a race attached. It's all about personal records, having fun and beer (thank you Bell's!!).

Well at least that's the case for most mortals. The Pro race that ended the day is beyond words, and the most fun I've ever had at a mountain bike race. To see Jeremiah Bishop and Lukas Flückiger sprint to the line while THOUSANDS of people screamed and cheered was amazing (see below). It was like being on the finishing straight of the Tour de France, except it was a mountain bike race, so it was automatically way better.

The Iceman weekend can be a tad overwhelming, especially when you're not a huge people person like me. The expo and check-in is massive (but well organized), all the restaurants are packed, Traverse City traffic is nuts, the start is nuts... it's ALL nuts!!! It's 4,500+ racers racing 30 miles, in like a million waves. Yet it works. Somehow they make it work!!

Truthfully, this year's Iceman was very UN Iceman. Even though start temps were in the 20s at 9:02 (for the 1st wave), they would rise to the mid 50s by mid afternoon. Bright sun, dry trails and not a flake of snow in sight. From what I'm told, this means next year will be a cold, snowy mess! LOL!

OK, my race....

My race started with me sitting in a un-started mini van trying to say warm whilst my friends with previous good finishing times got to start in early waves. Me? Since I had no previous results to base a start time on, I had to wait until after 10 a.m. (10:09 to be precise) and the 24th wave.

I managed to stay warm and got the start line expecting chaos. But it was SUPER organized. Tall signs with wave times indicated where to stand, a wave went off like every 3 minutes (I think) and it was all run like clock work. Just amazing given the amount of racers.

All I wanted to do was get a good start, get warmed up and keep a good pace. As per usual I had no podium aspirations, just looking for a good time and good enough finish to move up a wave or two in 2012.

We got to the line, the USA Cycling chick spewed out some info, 30 second warning.... 10, 9, blah, blah, blah... GO!

While I wasn't at the front of the group right at the start, I quickly moved up once we hit dirt/sand. I was shocked at how good I was feeling and I was stoked. It seemed like I was already catching folks from the wave before me. Sure, they had platform pedals and I could see panty lines through their Lycra (seriously??), but STILL, I WAS catching folks.

I was powering along along a flat 3+ miles in or so, and I heard a noise. "I wonder what that is?" I thought. "Crank... seat post.... flat? Nahh...." Two seconds later my front wheel starts wobbling. A flat indeed. BUT HOW?? FRESH STAN'S, SEAL YOU F*CKER!! Nope.

I pulled over, shot a Co2 into it. No go. F*CK!! I haven't flatted during a race since about '06 or '07, yet here I was pulling out a tube and praying to God that my last Co2 would inflate it enough to get me to a road crossing to beg for a pump.

As I got the tire off the rim, Stan's goo covered me. I felt like I was on the set of gay porn or something (too graphic? sorry). My hands were slipping and sliding all over the place. The tube was a tangled mess inside the tire, but I had to take my chance. I shot my last Co2 into it and only got it to about 10 or 15 PSI. FRIG!!

I started walking alternating with moving over for folks, walking, moving over, walking, moving over. And when I say I "moving over," often I was waiting for 15 to 20 riders to come by at a time. Did I say "frig" already? I came upon a dude who had pulled over for some unknown reason. I asked for a pump. YES! he had one. I pumped away as he waited. Nothing. The tube must be f*cked. I handed it back, thanked him and started walking again. Occasionally I rode the flat tire, and then started running. Yeah, right! Only 25 more miles to go! Dumb ass.

As I walked, another dude passed...
"YOU, OK?" He shouted.
"YEAH, JUST A FLAT!"
"NEED A PUMP?"
"YES!!!"

He threw the pump on the side of the trail for me. I shouted up to get his name/team so as to get it back and grabbed the pump. Thank you Rob(?) from RBS, I owe you dude!

So there I was on the side of the trail pumping away like a 15 year old with a fresh stack of nudie books. But it worked! The tube was holding air. I might not have to walk after all!! At this point I had NO idea how long I'd been f*cking around; walking, fixing, walking, running, pumping... At LEAST 20 minutes, maybe more. Frig!!

OK, LET'S GO! I started time trialing this Iceman shit now, passing, passing, dumb move, passing, dumb move, DON'T BRAKE!, passing, etc., I was starting to overheat from the layers I had on to combat the early morning cold and from this unexpected effort, but I didn't care. I needed to make up time. It felt good when I caught the dude from RBS (Rob?) that lent me the pump, I thanked him and kept on cranking. I felt even better when I recognized some dudes from my start wave. There was still a lot of fruitless work to do though.

I was shocked at the amount of folks that would see a hill and just jump off the bike. Ride that shit!!! On one hill lined with spectators I cranked that shit up passing walkers and riders, a dude beside me was on a freaking cross bike, powering through the sand and making it along with me. I started screaming "PUSH IT DUDE!!! DIG! DIG! DIG! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I was so pumped with adrenaline and seeing him power through that deep sand whilst others walked beside us that it just stoked the fire. The crowed was nuts, I was nuts, the CX bike riding freak was nuts. It was nuts! It rocked! F*CKING BIKE RACIN'!!!

I kept motoring and pushing hard but of course I knew deep down it didn't really matter at all, my race ended as soon as I flatted. There was just too much time wasted fixing, putzing, dealing with Stan's goo, walking, pumping... But still, in the end I pushed hard, caught some folks from my 40 year old class and did NOT finish last. That to me is a minor, MINOR, victory.

Pre-race, I thought that I could finish in about 2:15 or less. Nope! 2:44 and 76th place out of 97 in my class. Looks like I wasted an estimated half hour walking, pleading, begging and pumping. Not cool, BUT, not last... I have to say, there is no worse feeling than standing along the trail with a mechanical whilst dude after dude, after f*cking smart ass tandems (I think I hate tandems now) pass you. OK, standing along the trail bleeding to death might be worse, but it still sucks.

I sprinted a few guys to the finish, God knows what wave they were in, but it's a race, right? At the end, one of the dudes cam over and shook my hand to say nice sprint. That's bike racin' shit right there.

My first Iceman could have been a hell of a lot better. But I guess it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

After I finished I somehow tracked down my friend Chris (who had an equally bad day dropping his chain numerous times), and had a beer. Then I was off to drop my bike off a the bike corral, pick up my drop bag, and hit the showers. (YES! Hot showers) to get gussied up and watch the Pros finish.

Not sure how things would have gone had I not flatted, but it WAS a chance to get tea bagged by fate and deal with it. That's part of racing. While I finished WAY off of my expectations, and way off of what my equals did, I have to TRY to find a silver lining, and I think that it's the fact that once I finally got the tire set, I pushed harder than I thought I could and didn't give up.

Jury is out on whether I return to Iceman in 2012, but right now I have to say I have a feeling I will be doing my best to get in.

Bike racing... it's a curse. A really sweet curse.

My mountain bike race season is now over. 13 XC, XXC and gravel races in the books. Figures my first Iceman was "unlucky #13."

Later.

2 Day. Week, Whatever....

2011-11-02T17:57:00.002-04:00

This blog seems to have died long ago, yet I continue to feel the need to post. So here it goes...

Halloween was cool. B-Man went Trick or Treating dressed as a pirate (the robbing and pillaging kind, not the sort that lose 100+ games a year) in the CMU dorms with Wifey and his friends and cleaned up. Really cool of the college kids to do that for the kids. Dude came home with a half a pillow case filled with good shit. I was forbid to go. Wifey said if we happened upon any taut young co-eds in the dorm I would make a fool of myself. She's right. I would... It's my curse.

So, I stayed home and passed out candy. Only about 10 kids total came all night. It was VERY unlike the days back in White Oak/McKeesport, PA where we would run out in about 10 minutes or less, most kids didn't even wear costumes, never said "trick or treat" and never said "thank you." Here at least the kids we did get were dressed up and polite. Hell by the end of the night I was telling them to take a bunch."REALLY? THANKS!"

Tuesday I got out for a gravel ride. I decided to use the El Mariachi this week since that is the bike I plan to race Iceman with on Saturday, I figured I'd better make sure everything is shifting and feeling good. It's aces. SIDE NOTE: This post on XXC is from today's, I mean yesterday's ride.

If I had permission then it wouldn't be trespassing, would it?
It would just be passing I suppose.

Today I had a ton of work and life stuff to do: blog (the work blog), approve some merchandise, plan out some new stuff, send some e mails, get the bi-weekly blood test and last but not least post this post up. Because I care, because I know you do. BUT! I did not let that get in my way of riding.

I planned a short ride 'cause along with being busy I had a lunch date with Wifey. And of course by "lunch date" I mean... Um, ah... forget it.

As soon as I got my (real) blog posts done I chamoised up, hit Start on the HR monitor and headed out. I made it about 6 blocks away when I looked down and saw that my HR monitor wasn't working "WHY YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Oh wait, I forgot to put on my freaking chest strap!!!" Idiot.

No effect indeed. Still not sure how I got 126 bpm
without a chest strap.

I pedaled another 60 yards to an intersection, as I waited for traffic I decided to take a drink.... "SHIT!! I FORGOT MY FREAKING WATER BOTTLES!!" Idiot. Good thing I was only planning on a short spin. Eessh. I blame my wife of course... she got me all discombobulated with all that talk of hot, steaming... rotisserie chicken from Rics. DOH!

Today's ride had one of my fave dirt/gravel road incidents: a man in a pickup truck flags me down as we pass out on a dirt road. I stop. "Do you ride out there a lot?" he asks. "Yeah, all the time." He produces a photo on his phone, "Did you ever see these two dogs?" "Hmmm... not sure, I see and get chased by a lot of dogs out here, but I can't tell from the photo. Are they lost?" "No, they keep coming on to my property and attacking my chickens! I sell eggs down the road here." "Yikes, sorry, good luck with that."

Not sure if I was more upset that there are dogs terrorizing this dude's chickens or that an egg farmer has a cell phone with photo capability and I do not. Such is life.

All in all a good quick 25 mile ride to blow the stink off me (and if you knew me, you would know there is a lot of it. I blame my high fiber diet). I made it home in time to enjoy a few minutes of hot chicken with Wifey and life was good. Then I had to bust ass to get all my shit done before it was time to get B-Man at school. Done did it.

This pic (above) is a re post from the one further above but in it's un processed normal state. The pic is meant to call attention to the empty dehydration causing water bottle cages, but it also ended up showcasing why I love my Ti El Mariachi so much. On top of a sweet ride it just looks so damn good. Like a surgical instrument or some such. So supple, so fresh, so clean, so Salsa Ti El Mariachi. I actually suggested that tag line to Salsa, but the opted not to. Go figure.

So far a good pre-Iceman week. Not sure why, but I am more neverous to do this race than I think I ever been for a 24 hour race. I think it's just the nutz-oh amount of folks racing. Right now the weather looks to be VERY UN-Iceman-ish with sun and temps in the 50s (probably 40s at my wave time).

Later.

The Want & The Need

2011-10-31T19:59:00.001-04:00

Anyone who has read this blog over the years knows that I, like so many cyclists, love to get new gear for my bike. Not to mention getting new bikes and or frames. Funny thing is, that after so many years I find myself not REALLY wanting anything. OK, that's a lie. I WANT stuff, but most of the stuff I want, is just that; a want, not a NEED, not a must have and if I take a cold shower (or look at my bank account) it kind of goes away.

Sure there are lots of bikes I would LOVE to have, ride and or try out- in no particular order: Trek Top Fuel (yes a 26er) Fisher, er I mean Trek Superfly 100, Salsa Mukluk, Salsa Vaya, Cannondale Scalpel 29er, Specialized CruX Comp Disc Apex, Foundry Auger, and a few more here and there, but I have to say I am pretty lucky and content with the stable in my basement right now. Again, do I WANT another bike? Sure, that's part of being a bike nerd, and I wouldn't turn any of those bikes down if the opportunity presented itself, but hell, I don't ride all the bikes I have now! I mean my road bike hasn't left the trainer in over a year and I have no plans for it to do so anytime soon. I suppose if push came to shove and REALLY thought that I couldn't get through the winter with just my mountain bike and maybe some studded tires I would probably try to sell the road bike for a Mukluk. But that seems excessive for me right now. Last year the biggest limiter for my winter riding was ice, the slush and the cold. I think recognizing that better cold weather gear is probably what is needed more than a bike is where's it's at.

I also use to be sort of a parts whore- this is lighter, that rolls faster, that looks better, but now I find that I really only buy parts if they need replaced (not counting those TRP brakes I have on order at Terry's, IMHO the cantis HAD to be replaced). Hell I haven't even bought new tires for my mountain bike in over a year (Much to my friend D-POW's chagrin). My Maxxis Ignitors still have knobs, still hold air and have always played well with my Stan's wheels. Why fool around?

I also went through phases with nutrition: this gel will me faster, this one is better, this drink is GUARANTEED to prevent the bonk. This year: short rides got Powered Gatorade and plain water, longer races and rides got fueled CarboRocket 333. I hardly used any gels and when I did used what was in my race bag, or what was cheap at the store. Sure I've tried some great products like Kep's Pollen Balls and had some nice results when using Infinit Mud as pre ride and race fuel, but for the most part it was just Gatorade, water and 333. But I am also happy and content with my race and ride fuel. No need for weekly shipments of the next best thing, just to puke it up during the race.

Like I said I am VERY lucky to have some fine bike in my stable (my Spearfish is one of my favorite bikes in a long time), but 30 grams here, 40 grams there or shiny parts aren't going to make me any better right now. Riding, watching my weight and improved fitness will help me on the race course come spring though.

Then again a new bike is a nice motivator...

Later.

What A (Great) Day

2011-10-29T19:54:00.010-04:00

After a night where I was pretty hopped up on Victory Storm King's (big props to The Store here in MP for getting it for me), I woke up to a headache and a cold rainy Saturday morning here in Mount P.

BUT...

After a long drawn out a.m. of some xxcmag.com work, a LOT of coffee and some breakfast I said "balls!" to the cold wet weather and headed up to MMCC around noon to ride. And in a word... it was the best.

I love that this glow in the dark skeleton. It has been hanging on this tree for over a year. I only now took a photo of it because of this being Halloween weekend. I also bit the head off a bat Ozzy style to celebrate, but the camera did not fire properly to catch my fat face ingesting the winged rodent. Sorry.

Temps were in the 40s and the trails were wet, but not muddy at all. There was some minor ass spay from the wet leaves, but for them most part it was an amazing day in woods in the saddle of the Spearfish.

The ride just ooozed fall riding. Crisp 40 degree temps, wet leaves, deer around every corner, etc., etc., It rocked.

I was shocked not to have run into anyone else today. I mean my friends (and enemies) in PA woke up to 1 to 3+ inches of snow today, I would have thought that my Michigan brothers and sisters would have been out. I mean really if you ask me, if you live in Michigan, anytime from October to April without snow on the ground is a HUUUUUUGE bonus.

Yep, just me in the lot today.

Somewhere in all those leaves is my trail. I dig this trial. Just an awesome trail to hammer, and then hammer some more.

This was the first ride that had to got with leg warmers and a jacket. I MAY have been able to get away with just my Craft wind front base, but went with the Craft jacket. No big. Also seen in the pic is my Spearfish. I love that bike. I remarked to a friend earlier tonight about the paint job on the Spearfish and how well it holds up. My frame looks as good today as it did the day I got it, and I have probably over 1,000 miles (or damn close) on it. That is something I could not say about some of my earlier Salsa frames. Note: I have pretty much been riding and racing only Salsa frames (except for my Jake The Snake gravel bike) since 2005. The Spearfish MIGHT have moved into my #1 spot.

Oh well. It was sort of ball suck week, but today was a fun day in the woods on my bike. That is best.

Later.

Word for word...

2011-10-28T22:50:00.002-04:00

B-Man likes to write stuff on the Macbook's text thing-a-ma-bob, this is his latest project. Not that you care (at all, and it has NOTHING to do with cycling) but this is MY blog and seeing that he went from (this) to writing this makes me happy. And sometimes that is all it takes. Sorry. BTW, I can't believe he was ever that young and I was that skinny. God I got old fast. UG!

Anyway, here is what I found on my Macbook. He would be pissed if he knew I posted this, but hey, he's 7, there's plenty of time for him to find new things to hate me for. Take it away B-Man....

Tony Hawk is a professional skater.He can do tons of cool tricks.I have a game of him called: Tony Hawk Shred! It has a lot of levels on it.The game has about ten levels on it.You can do skate boarding and snow boarding on the game.I sometimes get frustrated with the game because the levels are hard,but thats what makes it fun. It also gets annoying a lot because another skater comes up and tells you what you'r doing wrong. I have unlocked three levels but the third level is hard.The third level has a part that when you go across the
bridge it blows up when you land it, well that is if you land it.If you don't land it you go down with the bridge. On all the levels I have unlocked at least once there is a part where you crush the road but in real life you would die. You get to unlock new characters and different costumes for the characters.I have the main
character:Tony Hawk.It comes with what looks like it is just a snow board but as I said before it does skating to. In the third level at the end you hit a gate but you don't crash. On a part before the gate there is a ramp that has a pipe through it and when you hit the gate it blows out water. I haven't unlocked the fourth level yet but it looks really cool.The board has sensors on the top,bottom,left and right.
On the back of the board it says Tony Hawk.On the front it has a yellow feather. Sometimes when they do a flip or something you can see the bottom of their boards.On the bottom of Tony Hawks board there is a hawk with a crown on it.I think its supposed to be a hawk king or queen or something. The board is mostly
red.The second level is pretty much a swirly slide but the biggest swirly slide ever.
It is also has a lot of jumps so that pretty much makes it the most broken swirly slide ever.Its not all a swirly slide…it has some ramps too.Sometimes it feels like I
am in the game.If it gets a little to hard I just play a different game.

This makes me smile. Thanks B-Man. Even though I won't show you that I copy/pasted this here for a few more years.

Later.

For Lack Of A Better Word...

2011-10-28T18:22:00.002-04:00

Remember that term "Sucks donkey dong?" OK, maybe that was just popular with me and my unruly gang of low brow misfits back in the eighties, but if you do remember the term, or can at least imagine what sucking a donkey dong must be like (Tijuana hookers need not apply!!!), then you can imagine how this week equates to doing such an act (band in 41.2 of our great(ish) 50 states).

Why did it suck? Well not ONE pedal stroke has been taken outside my basement (as of 6:22 PM Friday night). That's good enough for me to = the mouth loving of donkey dong. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure there were a couple days I could have pulled up my big boy gutchies, endured the cold and wet and rode, but there was a lot of shit going on both personal and work related that prohibited such rascal-ish acts. To top it off I developed a big as your kid's thumb pimple on my my taint (fucker hurts like hell) and a sick B-Man home from school today with a 102 degree fever. UG! What's worse, a big ass pimple undaurballz or a sick kid?? A sick kid of course....

Sure, Wifey ended up taking the day off since she was up with B. most of the night, but it didn't seem cool to take off on a good for nothing ride whilst the boy had a 102 fever and the wife was trying to catch up on rest. Curse you vile germs, curse you!!!!!!!

So in the end it looks like me not signing up for tomorrow's 50 mile gravel race was a good idea, since Wifey will most likely have to go into the office tomorrow to prepare for Monday's hearings, etc., etc.,

Cuss!!! Or not. I really don't care. Someone will finish 53rd for me.

They are calling for rain and maybe some wet snow tomorrow, but I still might be able to sneak out for something quick at some point. Sunday is out because it's B-Man's last soccer game provided he's not still sick of course, but I would rather miss a ride than miss watching him tear up the pitch because he's ill. He rocks the pitch!!!

Next week is the Iceman. I was 90% sure I was not going to do it (even though I'm registered), but then my friend Danielle made me feel like shit (and that's a good thing) and shamed me into being 99% sure I'm doing it. Sure I'm in like the 24th wave of like 2.3 billion racers, but the chance to race the Iceman and hang out with some like minded VeloNerds™ might be too much to pass up. Not to mention a National Champion basically called me out. I can't let her skinny ass show me up on her Ti singlespeed (she will, by many minutes/hours). So it looks like I will be there next week rain, snow, ice, come what may.... racing and having "fun" with about 2,000 other racers. Viva le Iceman!!!

In other news I am on the Mukluk fence. I REALLY want to try to figure out a way to get one, but at the same time I can't decide if I should. I mean should I just get some BIG ass high volume, wide 29er tires for the Ti El Mariachi, or should I try to get my (Moose)mitz on a Mukluk?? There are miles upon miles of snowmobile trails here, and it would seem like a good fit, but I JUST...DON'T...KNOW if I should do it or not. Curse you Salsa!!!! Curse you vile WINTER!!!!!

So maybe I will get out on dirt this weekend (fingered and genitals crossed), but if not.... as Vince Lombardi once said... "what the fuck? It ain't no big deal."

Weight loss progress this week = Nothing. I am filled with hate. AND starving. SO I am drinking lot of beer to make up for it. Being skinny is overrated. I jest of course, gastric bypass beckons!!!

Later

Nothing To See Here, Move Along...

2011-10-26T18:44:00.000-04:00

Wow, there is really nothing going on right now worth blogging about. Been doing a ton of updates at xxcmag.com if you are the sort that actually wants to read about cycling on a cycling blog. Feel free to check it out by clicking HERE.

I guess I could come up with something bike related... Ah, ummm.... I have a pair of TRP CX 9 brakes on order at Terry Cycles in beautiful downtown Alma.

Now I can finally get rid of the crap canti brakes and have something that is reported to have a bit more stopping power without a weight penalty. Then again, I am not sure that crap bike racers who move up a kit size every year should be worrying about the weight of their brakes. They should be in stock in a week or so, so hopefully I can give some feedback on how they compare to the crap cantis I have on the Jake The Snake now.

Not sure what I am doing the rest of the year race wise. I've sworn of cross, there's a 50 gravel grinder race this Saturday, but not sure I feel like it. I've done more than my share of racing this year and have just been enjoying the ride right now. I'm not even sure I am going to do Iceman. Lot of logistics involved that are proving to be a pain in my ass to race with 4,000 other people. Oh well, we'll see, we're creeping into the season that I (no so) affectionately call "warm bath and razor blade season" A.K.A. the trifecta of mental stress, hate, general self loathing and miserableness that is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, so I could use something to keep my mind occupied.

OK, this little love fest is over right now, got crap to do.

Later.

Unexpectedly Good...

2011-10-23T20:39:00.006-04:00

Not much to talk of today other than a short, but fine ride out on the dirt roads this morning.

Snapped the pic above as I headed out today. This is downtown Mount Pleasant... the orange building is the local bike shop-Motorless Motion, A.K.A. "Mo-Mo", the building to the right is Marty's Bar, home to the worst beer menu in M.P., and of some of the strongest Gin & Tonics (amongst other drinks) in M.P., and a place were my wife has left with bruises on her legs. Long story... As you can tell downtown was VERY busy this Sunday morning.

Some of the roads were pretty ripped up from the recent rains, heavy equipment and Amish buggies, but for the most part the roads were pretty tacky. The back roads and farm roads of America' s mid west have have the reputation for being gravel, but truth be told, here in Central Michigan, most of the roads are straight dirt, which can be both a blessing and a curse.

This is what it looks like if you try to snap photos of a dog snapping at you as you ride by. I hate dogs. Oh, wait, I mean I LOVE dogs (note to self: DO NOT UPSET THE FREAKING DOG LOVERS). Seriously, I love dogs, especially the ones that shit in my yard, snap at me and rip through my Lycra with their teeth. They're SO cute when they do that.

I did a short 35 mile ride and tried hit the uber flat road since I was not feeling all that in to riding today. BUT the legs came around, and I got what I wanted which was another day of burning calories. According to the Polar I spent about 9 hours on the bike this week and burned almost 8,000 calories. Of course I put a ton back on this weekend courtesy of Founders and Bell's Brewing, but I think I STILL came out pretty good.

Rain moved in tonight and tomorrow is a rest/big work day, so I'll need to REALLY watch the fat/calories tomorrow.

That's a wrap.

Later.

Unreal (In a good way).

2011-10-22T17:50:00.005-04:00

The weather this week sucked. It was cold and windy as hell and it pissed down rain most of the week and up 'till today I only got outside once. Which leads to today...

I had no real desire to head out on the dirt roads today, nothing against them, I just needed some real dirt... I needed singletrack. I headed up to the MMCC trails thinking that they would be the best bet for riding after a week of rain, which they were. But I was AMAZED that I rode 21 miles and there was not a spec of mud on me or my bike. FREAKY! But also FREAKING AWESOME!

I continue to be amazed with how the soil sucks up water here/there. The trees are pretty void of all leaves right now, and staring at the trail was like looking into a kaleidoscope, but luckily I ride there so much that it was pretty easy to follow the trail.

There were a few other folks out riding, but oddly I never saw them on the trail. Come fall, every ride without snow is a blessing.

Today's ride rocked, I should have rode 3 or 4 laps, but stopped happy and content with two laps of amazingly fun trails.

Later.

Blahhhhh, But I'll Take It. Thanks.

2011-10-21T18:12:00.006-04:00

What a crap week. After an amazing summer and hardly any rain whatsoever, we had a week of cold, COLD rain (I swear I thought it was going to snow!!). I got out to ride gravel on Tuesday but the rest of my "training" was done indoors this week. I still burned a crap load of calories and watched what I ate and to tell you the truth, right now that is all I am concerned about right now; getting my lard(ish) ass thin(ish) again.

Having said that, I think I am forgoing the gym this year. I mean it's nice to get out of the house and see real people now and then (especially if that real person is that 21 year old thick assed fit chick on the treadmill in front of me) , but not sure it's worth the cash. I hate lifting weights (dumb), the stair master helps burn calories, but it's NOT a bike, and if I'm being honest, it's f*cking stupid (even though it sometimes is nice to do). I think I would rather just invest some money that I don't have in some new XC skis, maybe some snowshoes, and/or if the planets align and I fudge the family books enough (shhhhh!!!!! keep your mouth shut!!) a Mukluk and gear so as to embrace the winter and all it's snowy vile, wretched.... goodness, all it's snowy goodness... Winter's great.... I love it.... really.... I do, I swear.

It only took until about October 19th before I couldn't leave the house without a winter jacket, but I am happy. In fact this week marks my family's one year anniversary as Michiganders and marks one of the happiest years of my life. I shit you not. I know, that is freaking sssssstrange considering I was ready to take a rope to the attic (props to Jules) over moving here, but Mount Pleasant and central Michigan has stepped up and really given me everything I ever wanted... A small town that isn't TOO small, nice people, lots of racing (all within 2 hours max of MP), endless dirt and gravel roads to ride, low traffic pavement, a town that it's not uncommon to go just a few blocks and count more than 10+ folks riding bikes to work, the store, the bar, etc., (not that I did that recently) no matter what time of year or what the conditions. THAT is cool. Not to mention B-Man loves his school and Wifey LOVES her job here. Me? I can adapt and rock it no prob.

Will we stay here forever? We might, but I doubt it, but if we move again the place better have endless miles of low traffic pavement and dirt roads out my back door, lots of racing, good restaurants and bars within walking distance, friendly people, no traffic and be bike friendly. So why would I move again? The winter? Maybe. But I doubt.

Sure I miss my dad and I hate to leave my brother and sister towing the family line back in PA/WV on their own, but they have enough going on and we're different enough that I'm sure they could give an eph about what happens up here and with me. So thank you Mount Pleasant, and thank you Michigan for a great year. I hope year #2 is as good or better. Sorry I doubted you.

Hope to get some single track in tomorrow, we go a ton of rain here this week, but the soil here soaks it up damn nice.

Later.

Stick With What Works: Lessons Learned

2011-10-20T08:35:00.005-04:00

Looking back at the this blog over the years, it seems that I've talked quite a bit about weight loss, weight gain, etc., I know that this comes from A. Spending the ages of 10 through 21 extremely overweight and being miserable and hating life and B. Losing the weight and falling in love mountain biking and racing, a sport that doesn't discriminate whether you are fat or skinny, hell there's even a Clydesdale class at most races, but it's sure easier when you are lighter. So gaining and losing weight has never been far from my mind since the age of 10.

For most of my true adult life (ages 21 and through 40) I have been skinny and it's been easy to be skinny. Then about 2009 I started gaining weight. A pound here, a few pounds there, and before I knew it 30 pounds has been added to my frame. The clothes still fit (although a bit more snug than in the past), and by American standards I AM still thought of as skinny (that is a sad reflection on our modern culture and current obesity rates). By bike racer standards and MY standards I am a now a Clydesdale. Not by much, but one nonetheless. I am not happy.

Welcome to the big boned class.
(Still digging Lazer helmets I see)

Some of the issues came with some medicine that I have had to take over the past few years, but most of it was my own fault. The stress of trying to run the magazine on my own, being a good husband, good father, working, riding and being by myself most of the day lead me to find happiness at the end of the day in making more comfort foods higher in fat and calories than I ever have (Jesus, I started buying bacon! BACON!!) as well as drinking way too much beer. The last time I found myself drinking too much beer was back in 2000 right after my mom died in December of 1999.

Over the past year or so I have experimented with going back to being a part time vegetarian, to trying the Paleo diet, to trying to eat high protein, good fats, and low carbs and none of it has worked. My metabolism just doesn't not work well with high fat food, even when it's "good fat." Wifey has recently had success with the low carb thing and has dropped about 10 pounds in just a couple weeks. I tend to just stay the same or gain weight when I do that.

So I am sticking with what works.

What works for ME is keeping track of calories and nutrients on TheDailyPlate.com (now A.K.A. Livestrong.com), cutting way back on fat (bacon, cheese, red meat), eating good carbohydrates (whole grains, fruits, vegetables), leaner meats (turkey and chicken breast) limiting red meats and having alcohol as a treat on the weekend. This is "normal" for me and combined with the amount of riding I do (6 to 12 hours a week) results in weight loss and added fitness. 50% of the time, it works every time. I joke, this always works for me.

Even though this lifestyle works for me, I am not without questions:

#1 How the hell does a medicine prevent weight loss? I mean if you take in 2100 calories a day (to survive) and ride 2 hours plus burning 2000+ calories, how do you NOT lose weight? The body is no doubt burning the calories, even if the metabolism process is slowed in some way by a medicine, why does the simple math of burning more than you are taking in not apply? What is the body running on if not calories (no matter WHAT the source)?? Strange.

#2 What is it about my metabolism vs. others that allows me to eat a diet that is about 60% carbohydrates and lose weight, but if I cut the carbs out and eat a good fat and protein (Paleo like) I gain weight? Again I say-- strange.

I know that one reason this works for me is that using the Daily Plate helps me keep track of portions and calorie intake and that is key for a food lover like me. Earlier this week I made up packet of meats in 1 serving packets (example: 4 oz. of lean ground turkey) and chucked them in the freezer to use as needed. Now I know the exact amount I'm taking in. Not saying I don't eat 2 servings with some recipes, but seeing what 2 servings is compared to what I thought was a serving is eye opening. I also measure out my pasta and rice servings so as not to make more than I need, 'cause I'm the type that if it's there I WILL eat it. Does it take a few extra minutes? Yeah, but not THAT much extra time and I feel it's worth it for me.

I am amazed at how easy it is to get off track with eating (cheese, bacon, sausage, etc.,....BACON???) well and drinking too much ("oh yeah, it's Tuesday! Time for some beers!" Followed by "Oh yeah, it's Thursday... Friday... Saturday... Sunday....). I was shocked when I went back and looked at some old dietary files from way back in 2007 and saw that I have slowly gained 30 pounds since 2007. YIKES!!!

It feels good to be back and doing what I know works for me and to the routine of this sort of eating and drinking. It feels good to be in control and knowing that I have less than 30 pound to lose to get where I want to be, and that is better than having the 130 pounds to lose when I was 21. Online estimates show that I should be where I want to be by February or March. Sweet, just in time for the 2012 race season!

Later.

Ride Pics

2011-10-18T20:16:00.006-04:00

The gusting 35 mph + winds of the past two days finally subsided and after spending yesterday doing an indoor workout I headed out to the gravel and dirt roads. Felt good to get outside. First ride since Saturday. Couple pics from the day....

Rural road debris. Beats broken glass in the city any day if you ask me.

Veggies to the left, meat husks to the right. Your choice.

Nothing runs like a Deere

Something about this cow made me think it was fake.
Like there was a couple dudes inside it or something.

That's all I got.

Later.

The Weekend

2011-10-16T17:43:00.002-04:00

I may or may not have mentioned and you may or may not care (I would bet you don't, since I barely do), I chose to skip the Peak To Peak XC race. The whole "might be a third DVT" scare had me not really caring about racing, and since I didn't pre register, I was out no cash. I am opting to do the Lowell 50 gravel race at the end of the month instead. After that it's the Iceman and then the season is over. Fin. Kaput.

I did get out for a nice 21 mile ride at MMCC yesterday. Did some nice tempo stuff and took the time on one lap to do some filming, just 'cause I like to keep the creative juices flowing. I need to do that every so often.

The ride was super fun and with the 35 mph winds I was stoked to be IN the woods instead of OUT on the dirt roads. Once home it was time to chill, have a few beverages and then we headed out to dinner at our friends home for some AMAZING steaks on the grill. Just, freaking amazing!!

Today I could have rode, should have rode, but I found myself getting caught up in some XXC Magazine work and some blog posts on xxcmag.com. Then it was too late and B-Man had a soccer match later which I didn't want to miss, since he is a defensive wunderkind, ha!

On a "training" note (keep in mind I don't train, I ride and see what happens when I race), I have really been enjoying my new hear rate monitor. I just went with a basic Polar FT7, not the greatest, but it gets the job done. But I have to say the Flowlink data transfer unit is pretty sweet. Jut lay the watch on the pad, it launches the software, downloads you data and there it is. I like that. I would prefer that the watch showed time in each zone, but it doesn't, but it shows more and works better than my last HR monitor and that is fine by me. My goal for using the monitor is more to keep track of time, calories and average heart rates so that is all good.

This coming week looks to suck for getting and good riding in: work, B-Man at the dentist, me at the doctor and then the eye doctor. I'm gonna have to be creative with the calorie burning this week. Not that it matters as it seems not matter WHAT I do, or what I eat my weight NEVER budges. It has been XXX.4 EVERY time I weighed myself this week. F it.

Later.

No Ride Thursday

2011-10-13T21:16:00.002-04:00

I didn't ride today, so I am using a pic from yesterday for no other reason that "just 'cause." I was sort of busy today so I squeezed in an hour indoor workout to burn some calories, and called it a day. Still having/will have a good week ride time wise, so I wasn't too bummed.

Been thinking a lot about a few bikes lately, but also about some gear I need before the cold weather riding season gets here. Pretty sure I am going to go with some Moose Mitts (hand made here in Michigan) this winter. I've heard some really good things about them and since my hands and feet take the worst of it during cold weather rides so they are on my A List of things I need/want. Pretty certain I will go with the flat bar model since I almost always ride my mountain bike during the winter rather than my road or cross bike. After that I think I need to update from my old Lake winter boots to something better if possible.

Also not racing this weekend. Gonna save my pennies for now. Do a gravel race at the end of the month and then most likely finish with the Iceman in November.

More on the bikes and winter crap later, I spent too much time ranting about social media earlier and now have used up all my me time.

Later.

A Lack Of Interaction

2011-10-13T19:35:00.005-04:00

I have made well over 2,000 posts to this blog, all but a handful were pretty lame (including this one). It's been so long (since 2005) I have trouble remember why I even thought it was a good idea to start it. I guess I always liked the idea of keeping a journal, but keeping a hand written journal just for myself seemed a bit too failed art student turned book worm, turned manifesto, turned FBI's Most Wanted for me. Plus I like bikes and wanted to focus on my life riding and racing them. So The Soiled Chamois was born. For that I apologize.

Over the years I have talked way more openly about my failed bike racing, life, and personal stuff than a man should outside of his family and therapist. But was done is done and I (probably) wouldn't change anything. From time to time I think about stopping the blog, but to tell you the truth, it gives me an excuse to write, maybe make you laugh, vent to the WWW instead of loved ones, and get some thoughts down. Some of which sort of helps when it comes time for me to write for my day/night job.

As you can tell from my writing, I am not a smart man (thank God for my proofer when I write for XXC Mag!), I barely graduated high school and went to art school 'cause art/design was all I knew how to even vaguely do. But I have always loved to write. I just don't use correct grammar or spelling. Again, I apologize for that.

What I have noticed recently is that blogs just don't get the readers they once did. I'm not sure this site EVER got readers and that's fine by me, it's just an observation. It's also apparent that most folks would rather write/read a sentence or less on Facebook or Twitter and move on. The attention span of the world has become microscopic. Again, I am OK with that. I myself post random crap and what not via social media outlets both as myself and for XXC Magazine and I enjoy it to an extent. As far as XXC I like to inform readers about races, events, news, let them know about new merchandise and xxcmag.com blog updates.

As far as myself, I try to keep any sharing I do to some images from rides, checking in with friends far away, and random silliness and absurdities. I'm not one to share EVERY SINGLE THING I do: "Getting coffee," "Eating at Pizza Planet," "Taking a shit," etc., Or better yet the ones that share every life drama and grievance they have. Then again why did I mention the things I do on this blog?

I'm also not like those political nuts (both left and right) who feel the need to post everything from why the dung beetle needs saved to every Fox News like rumor about how President Obama was born from Socialist aliens, is actually a former Black Panther turned Cold War era Russian spy who has had plastic surgery and was elected by the "liberal media" to undermine the country from within. But then again I have refused to vote since the Bush/Gore sham election and have no plans to vote again in this life or the next.

It's not the whole social media thing that bothers me, most of it is just goofin' off and time wasting, I guess it's pretty much the lack of human interaction that people have nowadays (and for someone like ME to notice, it must be bad, as I am not exactly a social butterfly).

Example: Today I took B-Man to Bob's Barber Shop to get his hair cut. I love Bob's. It's less than a block from my house, there are deer heads and stuffed fish all over the place, they talk with their customers, know everything that's going on in town, do a great hair cut, and will even trim your nose and ear hair (not that I have any!!).

The best thing though is that they know you when you walk in. Today I walked in with B-man and the first thing the dude says is "Hey, how you doin'? How's the magazine going?" That was pretty cool.

So B. is getting his cut, I talk a bit with the barber, etc. There were three other customers in the shop, all three had their heads down, phones out, texting, "updating" and browsing away. Not one word was uttered by any of them the ENTIRE time. Hell for all I know they were all texting each other!

Believe me I am sort of a social curmudgeon, and find it way easier to email someone than I do to call them (most of that is due to the fact that I can be sort of "backwards" talking to some folks on the phone and usually say something stupid or forget my own name or something). I have also run into blog and web friends a few times and really didn't know what to say to them in person, even though we have e mailed and blogged to each other tons of times. Sad.

So what is this rant all about? Hmm.... It seems it has nothing to do with bikes at ALLLL. But I will break it down for you in case you have skimmed ahead:

• God knows why, but me and that lady with all the cats are still blogging.

• I'm not all that smart.

• Bob's Barber Shop rocks.

• People are WAY to freaking obsessed with their phones.

• I'm sort of a slack jawed yokel.

OK, I'm done. Now I gotta go update my status.

Later.

An 80/20

2011-10-12T20:43:00.003-04:00

Most of my rides are either on dirt and gravel roads with a few short stretches of pavement attached or mountain bike rides on singletrack. But today I went with an 80/20. 80% road and only 20% gravel. Usually if I'm on my cross bike it's about 95% dirt roads. But today I just felt like not thinking and pedaling a tad easier, so the 80/20 made an appearance.

Lucky (I guess?) for me, most of the paved roads outside of town are pretty rough so a cross bike is still a fine choice for the job. As much as I hate to get rid of it, I think I might have to look into parting with my road bike at some point. Right now it just sits on my trainer. That's no life for a great bike. But I doubt I will since I'm sort of a bike hoarder.

95%, 10%, 80%, whatever. It's just always nice to be on the bike. Road (if you must), dirt, gravel, etc., Bikes are pretty swell.

Later.

Pretty Darn Not Bad

2011-10-11T19:19:00.004-04:00

Before I get to bike stuff, I am happy to say that the pain in my calf from the "almost a DVT" that I have is about gone. The slight increase in the meds has finally started helping it and I am pain free. That was scary. Now I just to be a bit more vigilant on making sure I keep up with the blood tests, dosage and make sure I wear my compression socks when traveling to and from races. It's also a good idea that I starting re hydrating post race. I tend to hydrate before and after a race or long ride, but somehow never make sure I RE-hydrated AFTER the race. Thick, dehydrated blood is not good when you're in the car 2+ hours after a race and prone to blood clots. OK, on to important stuff....

Took yesterday off the bike, felt good. Today it was back on the CX bike for nearly 3 hours of gravel. Legs felt good for most of it, but I tell you what, I have a knack for finding the fresh dirt roads. On one road, I was on a slight uphill and went from 17 mph to 7 in about a second. All good though, it just made that "slight uphill" more of an actual hill. I love days where I can get a ride in that burns more calories than my BMR. Now if I can just not binge eat/drink like a depraved beast I might actually start RE-loosing the weight that I gained back over the summer. Who GAINS weight over the summer?? I'm suck an idiot.

For better or worse (I'll let you decide) I always take my camera on my rides. 95% of the time I roll, point and shoot. If I get a shot great, if I don't no big deal. I only took a few shots today and today I gotta say I pretty much got nothing. Not sure what the hell I was pointing at???

Bunch of hunks of tree tops. In their own way, they do capture the color and "fallness" of the day, but I by no means too proud of them. Ha!

Then one of the only one that SORTA came out was the one below of a nice road sections. This road has repaved recently and is ssmmmmmooooooooth. If seems to go on forever too. Just roller, after roller, after roller. It goes on way further than my camera can pick up. Too bad I am only on it for just about a mile before I turn back onto dirt.

I was also able to get some work done on XXC today and there are few more blog posts up on the site too that cover Iron Cross, Rod d'Azur, and a lot of other endurance time wasting. Check it out!

Still not sure if I am racing the Peak 2 Peak this weekend or not. I was going to, but haven't registered. Then with the whole leg thing, I might just hold off on racing until the Lowell 50 gravel race at the end of the month. But I might... I'd really hate to have to rely on the Iceman to be my last mountain bike race of the year.

Later.

More Than It Should Have

2011-10-09T14:46:00.005-04:00

Went for a short spin on the gravel roads today just to burn some calories and it hurt a bit more than it should have.

The legs weren't bad, it was the fact that I ate eggs and bacon (mmmm.... bacon), putzed around for a few minutes, filled my bottles and left. What was I thinking? I'm 40 freaking years old with the digestive system of a 90 year old. I pedaled about 5 miles before I started vurping up warm bacon juice all over my legs (D-POW style). Not fun.

After a while I got used to the hot back infused lava that was coming up my throat and just tried to enjoy the ride and the perfect Indian summer we're having.

Insert joke about perverted cyclist
stumbling upon herd of sheep here.

Amidst the heat of the day the agricultural phallus
rose to meet the warmth of the sun and with it deliver the...
DEAR GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

Oh well, a pretty sweet week of riding, with double digits of ride time (always a bonus for shlep like me).

I need to go take some Tums.

Later.

Hanson Manson

2011-10-09T11:04:00.003-04:00

Took me and my achy (but NOT clotted) leg up to Hanson Hills to throw down some miles on Saturday. Did the Outer, the Inner, and an Outer with an Inner attached for 30 miles. The trails were perfect.

The day off the bike Friday and the mental weight lifted by my doctor really had the legs feeling good and made for a fun time on the trails. I ran into about 6 other riders at various points on the trails. Funny that at least half of them were helmetless. WTF? I could really care less if they crash and bash their head, if they're that stupid, it's not my fault. What I fear is something like that happens and lawsuits happen and threaten the trails system. Maybe I think too much, I just don't understand why someone would mountain bike without a helmet. Strange.

Time to squeeze a quick dirt road ride in before B-Man's soccer game today.

Later.

Makin' Hay

2011-10-07T10:15:00.006-04:00

Thank Sweet Baby J! NO CLOT!

Well, not yet.

According to the Doppler there is some blood thickening and fixin' to clot where an old clot was, but blood is still flowing, so I just need to up some medicine and hope for the best. They also bled me dry and took 8 valves of blood to re-test me for coagulation issues that I might be prone to. Not the greatest way to spend a Friday, but it's still some good(ish) news. Plus the Doppler chick was sort of hot and the gel was nice and warm on my leg. Not too bad. I kid. I'm a kidder.

Time to make some hay while the sun's still shining.

Later.

Getting Ready For It

2011-10-06T18:17:00.004-04:00

I'm not one to slack off too much with the work I need to do with the mag, but I am in between a couple things, waiting for a couple things, and need a couple things in order to do what I need to do right now. So I spent a guilt free 2 hours in the woods on the Spearfish today.

There was some color out there on Tuesday, but today there was even more and fall REALLY threw up all over the trails! Lots of fresh leaves down. Hell we haven't even had our first frost yet!

For the most part I just hammered out the 21.5 and headed home, only stopping once to pee and take these pics. Chased some turkeys, got spooked by a few deer x-ing out in front of me, and enjoyed the ride.

These past three days were great, but they will most likely be the end of my riding for the week and maybe into the weekend. You may or not have read the other day when I mentioned that my calf hurt a bit, well it continues to hurt "a little bit" every so often. Nothing major, no swelling, etc., But I am pretty certain it is another DVT (possibly my third). I just sort of know the ache. So off to the doctor tomorrow at 8:30 a.m., where I fully expect to spend my day going from office, to office to hospital to home, and end the night injecting myself in the belly with Lovenox.

ORRRRRRRRR!!!!

I will be wrong (FOR ONCE!!) about this, and they'll see nothing, send me home and I will have a chillaxing Friday and plan weekend of riding.

I am not counting on it.

Later.

Soft

2011-10-05T19:38:00.005-04:00

We have been having some amazing fall weather here (the calm before 5 months storm most likely) but I am not going to waste too much time.

Got out for brunch today on the Jake for a couple hours. Lots of fresh soft dirt roads (Holy sink!), but perfect temps and bright blue sky. Twas fun.

Something is fattening itself up for the coming winter. Yikes. I saved you the views of the torso. Dear God, something picked a deer clean to the bone. Nuts.

I can't say I have ever seen a piece of equipment
this color before. It's not ghetto, it's custom.

This lot was filled. I had to park on the road.

I took delivery of a heart rate monitor today. I haven't used one in years (other than on the trainer), but I want to get back to tracking some stuff. Maybe kick my mid packness up to upper mid pack in 2012 (and drop somewhere between 5 and 30 pounds). Generally I am against the HR monitor, but it can be too easy to just putz when I get out on the dirt roads. Since there isn't much climbing I need to start making sure I am burning calories and gaining fitness not JUST putzing. There will always be SOME putzing, putzing is the main ingredient in me being a putz. And you thought I couldn't work the word putz/ing in more than 5 times.

Later.

P.S: I'm working on that technique Gnat! LOL!

And Now For Something Else

2011-10-04T15:08:00.002-04:00

I needed this.

Funk, you are not match for the power of singletrack.

Now more blathering....

When you suck at bike racing like myself, often times you need to dig deep, reach way down and turn yourself inside out... in the attempt to find a positive spin on a poor performance. I have done just that.

As previously discussed; Saturday at the Grampian Challenge I finished in a dismal 31st place in the 38 man expert class. BUT upon further examination and some digging I have come up with this--

Out of the 142 folks that raced the 40 mile race I came in 49th. See, I like that better. I can sleep better knowing that 93 folks finished behind me rather than just seven. OK, that's a lie, I still won't sleep tonight, but at least it will have nothing to do with sucking at bike racing.

There is no word on how many of the 93 folks behind me had mechanicals, were injured, handicapped, blind, got lost, were abducted, quit or were stoned out of their minds.

Later.

Passing The Time, Waiting For Keys

2011-10-04T08:17:00.003-04:00

I've been in a mood. One of those inexplicable funks that I get in and for better or worse (mostly worse) every so often. It really has nothing to do with riding my bike (probably more to do with NOT riding my bike) and it has nothing to do with Wifey or B-Man. Not even really sure it has to do with work, other than that in between issues there is a lull in my work load that gives me too much time to think about stuff.

Also, I think I have a twinge in my right calf from the race on Saturday (pushing hard in the mud with a new cleat placement and a hike a bike or two), it's not pain, it's twinge. Big deal, right? Well the last time(s) I thought this I ended up in the hospital with a DVT. Granted those times it hurt worse, but as you can imagine a "twinge" is enough to bring back thoughts of giving myself shots in the belly, hospitals, or worse. F.

So as I type this I am COMPLETELY dressed to go for my brunch time ride up at the college. But I can go nowhere, because Wifey has managed to take both sets of keys with her again. I was just going to head out on the gravel, but she's on her way home with them now, so I might as well wait. WIFEY!!!!!

Man, I need this ride to be good.

Later.

Couple Things

2011-10-02T16:09:00.010-04:00

I could lament more about yesterday's cold, wet, muddy, suck fest at the Grampian Challenge, but I won't. F*ck it, it's just bike racin'. (BTW, when I say "suckfest," I of course mean ME, not the race, the race was great. The best thing about the race, was that this is just year ONE for the race, it can only get better. Next year I long for more single track OR to combine the race with the Ronde Van Stony!! Oh snap, that would rock. It could be epic. OK, I'll stop. Whatever a great way to ride new gravel roads and new (to me) singletrack.

Having said all that crap, I will say and I will post these pics and I will get crude, 'cause that's sort of what I do. (We all have our callings. Sadly all my calling make me look like an immature idiot and make me no money whatsoever. I hate my life. Really, it needs to change).

You know, it wasn't the muddy race course that pissed me off yesterday, that's racin'; it was the muddy parking lot that put the hurt on my Adidas Gazelles whilst I changed. Curse you vile mud! You know they are made of suede. SUEDE!!

PUBIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Oh yeah, Never drop your undies in the mud as you dress after the race, 'cause A. they will be wet, dirty and nasty. B. they will look like you shit yourself and force you to freeball it for the drive home. No big deal to me; I dig the air and the freedom, but I'm pretty sure the McDonald's staff sensed my free-swingingness when I stopped on the way home. To them I say "Don't judge me, and hurry the f*ck up with my Mc-F*cking Chickens, I'm starving here!!!"

This is my bike and number plate post race (yes, that IS a glimmer of sun). I have feeling there is some (not so) witty, crude, comment about my number being 96 and not 69, but for the life of me in my current inebriated state (not to be confused with yesterday's, tomorrow's or next week's inebriated state.) I can't come up with it.

I used my Salsa Ti El Mariachi. What a great freaking bike. I love this bike. Too bad my shifting was all jacked up. I think I need some new cables. Conditions were not the best so I don't want to judge (I'm not judging, I'm "just sayin'"). But what a great bike. I love it. But then again I love ALL my bikes, especially the one I'm on.

Did you know I saw a camel during yesterday's race. For realz. Somebody had a f*cking camel. A big ass, humped back (BACK!), SHOULD be living in the f*cking desert and NOT cold ass Michigan camel. Strange.

Burrs. I hate 'em. Especially when they stick around (OHHHH! Get it?? Stick around?? Get it? Burrs...) after a crash. These fellas joined me at about mile 4 when I ate mud in a corner and then they hung on for 35 more miles, adding 12 grams to my 200 pound body. THIS is why I finished 31 out of 38 experts. It's a conspiracy! I have NO doubt. I blame the burrs. And right wing, conservative America (of course) for this. F*cking twats.

Did I mention yesterday that I'm pretty sure the only reason I race these days is to enjoy a $1 McChicken (Or 3, YES, I ate three, get off my f*cking back) on the way home? They are the BEST!! And when you hit the spot with the big, giant gob of mayo... Oh sweet Jezzzus, it lights up my loins like no other!! I'm pretty sure that Ronald McDonald and crack whore pimps are one in the same.

I gotta go make dinner and fill my gut now.

Oh wait I forgot this...

My friend Craig from the UK (someone I met several years ago merely by asking about a bike review on a website), is the man behind Onix Bikes. It seems as much as I hated my old job at the f*cking Tribune-suck my-b*lls-Review he hated his job (also in the printing industry), said "f*ck it" and started his own business (like someone else I know). Things are going well (at least for him) and recently Onix did up a promo video and Craig shared it with me (Thanks!). Take a look... not only at the amazing riding but his company as well. Life gives you a kettle full of shit. Make lemonade, right?

So if you're into the whole road bike thing, and want a fine ride I urge you to be in touch with him. For now, I am just going to enjoy this clip. I have a weak spot for cycling videos.

Later.

Grampian Challenge Race Report Part I

2011-10-01T21:24:00.003-04:00

I call this race report on the Grampian Challenge, "Part I," not because of how long the report is, but because it's been a long day: up at 5 a.m., drive 2:30 race 2:45, drive 2:30, family stuff, etc., etc., So for now, I will be brief.

The Grampian was 78% gravel road, 10% singletrack and 10% doubletrack and 2% me praying for an untimely heart attack or something. (That may be a bit strong).

I sucked ass today. Like big, hairy, shirtless,, fat, perv guy in the park ass. It was cold, very blustery, wet, super muddy and I had super dead legs. The gun went off, the Expert class took off and I pedaled like I had weights (beyond my gut) strapped to me. I waved bye-bye to them and rode most of the race solo or with folks who I was in no way working with due to me not being as fast as them, or them not as fast as me. It was not good.

Sure, I have excuses beyond my lack of talent and fitness: stressful week as a solo dad with Wifey in D.C., lack of sleep, no riding this week due to weather and time, not properly hydrated, etc., But in the end it was just a bad race for me. I can deal with that.

The race as 40 miles long (39ish really), my legs came around about mile 25 and left about mile 35. There were some amazing parts; the last section of singletrack in Addison Oaks was great, some of the gravel was kick ass, and with the exception of one section of course where they marked the course with tap ACROSS the trails (WTF?), it was well marked and easy to follow.

The course was also WAY hillier than I expected, especially after having just raced down that way last weekend. The gravel roads had me wishing for my cross bike, but the single track had me thanking God I didn't try to race it!

Not sure how I did overall, but in the Expert Men Open I finished 31st out of 38 in time of 2:46 something. YIKES! I find it hard to believe that 7 other dudes sucked more than me today. Yikes again! 'Cuase I SUCKED.

I ran into my friend Juan from the Cleveland-ish area. I first met him at the Stony Creek 6 Hour way back in the Spring. He's a good dude and one of those folks that you talk to and leave feeling better about life and stuff, he just has a good energy about himself. I like it. Nice seeing you Juan!

Well, well.. this report went longer than expected. I guess this will be it, no need for part II... barring updating with some pics later. BTW, the kicker was to drive back home to find the weather sunny, less windy and not a cloud in the sky here in M.P.. Nice. Real nice.

Later.

Jumpin' Around. Nahhhh...

2011-09-29T18:46:00.000-04:00

I PLANNED on riding today, and yet again it did NOT work out. That makes 5 -freaking days off the bike (an hour on the trainer doesn't count except towards "suicide points") and I have a race on Saturday. Granted I would gain no real race fitness from riding hard this week and racing Saturday, but I would gain f*cking SANITY. But as Wifey so often says about me- "that ship has sailed."

I did get a workout in... Ug, the treadmill! What am I a f*cking soccer mom?? (what's next using heavy hands?). Really, to me, any workout NOT on a bike just seems like stupidity. It's like Wifey wanted me to buy that Insanity workout program (or whatever it's called, not 100% sure), and while I dig it's perceived vibe of not being about weight lifting and muscle head workout stuff, when it comes down to it, it's a bunch of jumping around for no reason.

I'll only jump around during sport or, if needed, during sex (although the sex part involves a lot of flailing, not a good look, especially for me), but the idea of jumping around for the sake of just burning calories, etc., just seems stupid. Sorry, I think I'll pass. I mean it's like admitting "I do shit for burning calories all day, so I'm jumping around to fool my body into thinking I am not a total freaking sloth."

(I came to get down, I came to get down, so get out your seats and jump around. Jump around! Jump around! Jump around! Jump up jump up and get down. Jump, jump, jump....

As long as I am healthy (liver and brain not included) and keep the legs loose, I don't feel 5 (to 6) days off the bike will be a limiter in my quest for 2011 mid pack-ness come Saturday. For me, racing is about riding, seeing new places, and maybe meeting some folks, not about racing to win. I know that doesn't make sense and is sort of lame but I'm sort of a moron.

Continuing to race mountain bike races into the fall also keeps folks from hounding me about racing cross (dude, you gotta race cross!). The way I see it, if an endurance mountain bike race is available then it comes first, then XC, then gravel, then if I have no other excuse- cross. Road racing need not apply.

I did finally get the XXC Magazine 2012 media kit done today. Nothing like looking at sales stats to make you feel like shit. Working at McDonald's beckons. I kid, I would never work at McDonald's. BK is where it's at.

Speaking of endurance mountain biking (no I am NOT going to plug xxcmag.com again, even though I should), I thought my season was over in that regard, but the 6 Hours of Addison Oaks next week has come up on my radar. I am not committed to it, but I am SO not ruling it out. I'll get to ride some the A.O. trails this weekend, after that I will make up my mind. I'm, 56.2% sure I'll be in.

I'm not going to say anything about maybe riding tomorrow, because chances are, even if it is nice and not continuing to piss down rain, I will not. Maybe just a short spin to get the legs ready for Saturday and what is sure to be a romp in the mud, but that's about it. Fine by me... it sure as hell beats jumpin' around.

Completely off topic... When did Jamie Lee Curtis become like the "Queen of Shit?" Every time I turn on the TV, I see her pimping stuff that will make me shit more. No thank you mam, I poop enough. Eat some vegetables or (a 6 pack and chili if you're me) and stop obsessing about whether you shit or not. Dear God woman!!!

Later.

Yeah, I'm Pretty Sure It's Wrong

2011-09-28T18:07:00.001-04:00

My plan to hit singletrack today was sidelined by rain. We've been getting a nice bit of it lately. I want to complain, but I can't 'cause our summer here in MP was un-friggin'-believably good. Anyway... yeah, I could have gone out and rode in rain, but I didn't. I stuck around the house, got an hour workout in and a ton more XXC work done. Real fun stuff like putting together a media kit for perspective 2012 advertisers... yeah, real fun.

During my workout I watched the 2011 women's world championship. What a great race! While my girl

Maja Włoszczowska didn't win, she did an amazing race. She flatted, fell a few places back, then raced her ass off to get back and take a silver medal. Watching her run with the bike and ride the rim to the pit was awesome, but then seeing her haul ass up the climbs, taking the drops at full speed to get back into 2nd was just awesome. But then again, I'm sort of biased. I still don't know why....

Watching the race was actually better than watching this video...

Seriously, it was... As is this video:

OK, I got poop to do.

Later.

Is It Wrong?

2011-09-27T19:49:00.004-04:00

I love riding my bike, I love racing my bike, I love all things bike. Very strange then that I have not ridden my bike since Saturday's Ronde Van Stony. I've had the opportunity, just haven't. The weather has been a little shitty with heavy rain one day, but other than that, just feel like I needed a few days off to get some direction going with some work stuff. Is that wrong?

Wifey is out of town, gettin' some knowledge dropped on her down in D.C., so I am full time Dad this week, I think that sort of cramps my bike mojo a bit. I mean with us up here on our own, I can't exactly wander 50 miles from home, flat, or get hurt and have no one around, and a 7 year old waiting for me to pick him up. Wait, that sounded WAY to responsible for me. I guess what I need to do is get on the mountain bike for some singletrack... that always mentally rubs and tugs my mojo and gets me goin'.

Manuel Fumic fumic-ing up.

Watched some of the replay from the UCI MTB XC World Championships today on Freecaster, that sort of go my loins in an uproar for some riding and more racing this coming Saturday at the Grampian Challenge XC... gravel... two track whatever the hell it is race. This race will be my 12th race of the year, which is very much a personal high. Of course I DNFed after about 67 miles at the Lumberjack, so not sure if that counts? Still I should end the year with about 14 races. I'm not unhappy about that. I guess.

Not to pimp my work, but I've done a lot of blog updates over at xxcmag.com the past couple days. You should check it out.

Later.

2011 Ronde Van Stony Race Report

2011-09-26T09:46:00.005-04:00

Raced the Ronde Van Stony gravel race down in the lower thumbish area of the mitten this weekend. My doing the race was sort of work related, so the full race report is up on the xxcmag.com blog.

Later.

Gravel & Rain

2011-09-23T08:19:00.006-04:00

Weather.com's radar can not be trusted. At least not in Michigan! Yesterday I headed out for my brunch time gravel ride after checking the radar map and seeing that any rain in the area was clear off by the lakes. Sweet! I headed out on the Jake. I got to the end of the block and felt a misty rain on me. No big.

I continued on, but not before hearing some (what I assume was going to be a douche bag) blowing his horn at me a few time. I turn around and it turns out it's not a d-bag, but Mo-Mo mechanic Mike R. heading to work and just saying hello. Always nice to avoid a D-Bag Moment.

By the time I reached my shortcut through Mill Pond Park, the mist had turned to drizzle. Rats! I had to stop and stuff my phone and camera into a zip-loc bag make sure they stayed dry. I was quickly to the pavement leading me out of town when the drizzle turned steady and my fenderless cross bike shot cold water up my aging ass for a mid morning water sodimization of sorts.

Mile 3.5- On to dirt and the rain starts to let up, grey mud spatters up and I get on with the ride and the ride takes on a nice feel. The mud spatter, the mist, dark clouds, I'm really enjoying it. I am never motivated to ride in poor conditions, even though when I'm riding IN the poor conditions I feel an energy and adrenaline that I never get when I ride in perfect conditions. Strange.

The rain had all but stopped and some of the dirt and gravel roads look like they hadn't even see any rain, while other covered me with gravel juice and mud. I took the time to free the camera from it's multi-layered zip-loc prison and take a shot or two. As you can see from the clouds in the pics here today it needed to be quickly returned as things did not look like they were going to improve much.

I ran into (not literally) a group of about 20 turkeys on one road, saw 3 big deer run in front of me in Mill Pond Park of all places, felt the sting of pouring rain on my face at 20+ mph, dug gravel junk out of my eyes, enjoyed bright sunshine that came out of nowhere for a few brief warm, glorious moments, and smelled the smell of wet corn being harvested. It was a good, but wet time on the gravel farm roads.

By the time I reached pavement for the return to town, the rain had started yet again, washing the fresh mud and grey spatter from my legs and bikes. I returned home after two plus hours soaked, a little chilly and a bit clammy, but smiling nonetheless.

Today will be time off the bike and a focus on some XXC work. Then preparing mind and bike for the Ronde Von Stoney tomorrow morning. I hope it rains.

Later.

A Month Too Long

2011-09-22T08:38:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's been over a month since I've raced anything. That's too long. The last race was the Hard Rock Ore To Shore which was well documented in the most recent XXC Magazine. I was on a roll with racing XC and XXC events and then lllluuulll. Lack of motivation started to creep in. I was still riding, almost daily, but goals (if I had any to begin with) were diminishing. Thankfully that is going to change and I will be racing this weekend. Woot!

Heading down south on Saturday for the 40 mile Ronde Van Stoney gravel race. No goals other than to race hard, enjoy new gravel and see what happens. Should be some fast guys there, which means I will spend most of the day on my own! Ha! I did see Christian Tanguy is in the Elite Class with a few other uber fast guys should be neat to see how their race goes. I hope to have some feedback on the race up on xxcmag.com next week. Might find my way to an XC race next weekend, but not sure.

OK, time to get some work done and then kit up for a quick 30 or 40 on dirt roads before I need to fetch B-Man at school.

Later.

Dead Ferns, Annoying Great Uncles & Lava Lizards

2011-09-20T19:53:00.004-04:00

It's that time of year. The forest is retreating and taking the green with it. Well, maybe not that bad yet, but it's starting.

The ferns are going from bright green and hogging the trail to pale orange-yellow husks of their former selves. The leaves- while mostly still green- are starting to turn in spots and starting their annual migration to the trail surface. They are not welcome, but like an annoying great aunt that comes to visit on holidays you must put on your best face and welcome them. Because like your aunt could have brought your fucking annoying great uncle that calls you "fat boy," pokes your love handles and leaves shit skids in your toilet, the leaves could be snow on the ground.

Some folks are racing cross, it's cold somewhere, pissing down rain somewhere else, but for now it's still short sleeve jersey and shorts weather here, and I continue to ride singletrack when I can and enjoy every second of it. Just like when that smart ass knuckle dragging uncle of yours could have died face down in his Thanksgiving mashed potatoes (wait, would that have been bad?) any time after his 70th birthday; after Halloween (God I hope not before!) it could get nipple erecting cold and ass deep in snow here. Best to just keep on keepin' on.

It rained a bit last night so the ground was damp, and I drove into a thick fog at 11 a.m. as I headed north to ride. It was warm enough to go without arm warmers, but cold enough to barely even think of tapping into your water bottles in the first 5 miles. The trails that were bone dry, with occasional traction loosing sandy spots were tacky and hooking up like a t-paper on a porcupine's ass. Even with last night's rain the trails were in perfect, if not better, condition. Win.

The woods were so still it was amazing. I couldn't here anything. Just the sound of my tires over moist trails. I made every attempt to ride quietly as possible, to keep pressure on the pedals so as to keep from coasting and keep the hub hushed, to breath silently and efficiently, and just take in everything. To absorb all that the woods had to offer. It was brilliant.

“I want you to breathe through your eyelids,
like the Lava Lizards of the Galapagos Islands.”
- Annie Savoy, Bull Durham

Later.

The last bit was for Wifey.

Dead Legs And No Cross

2011-09-18T15:42:00.005-04:00

Yesterday's 30ish miles of non stop singletrack followed by some ill advised hydrating (yes Dogfish 90 Minute, I'm talking about you), a late dinner and a lame meal in a can for breakfast left my legs more than a tad dead today.

There was a cross race up at MMCC and my buddy Mike was trying to get me to do it, but when I woke up this morning the last thing I felt like doing was a cross race, so I didn't. I sort of felt bad, 'cause when shit is so local I like to support it, but I wasn't paying $30 to feel like shit and ride around in the grass. I figured I could feel like shit and ride around the gravel roads for free. And I did. Both ride gravel and feel like shit.

I put off riding as long as I could, but knew I would regret it if I didn't go, so finally about 11 I got my ass out the door. The ride was pretty lame, only about 2 hours and I felt like shit for about 110 minutes of the 120. I went with a flatter flat loop today, but was less than thrilled to see that this "flatter" loop received some fresh, un-graded gravel, so I was pushing hard, rubbing my taint into the saddle, and rocking to/fro like an idiot just trying to keep the wheels turning and the bike up. Nothing like going up hill, fish tailing at 9 mph. Frig.

The 2 survivors.

Eventually I made it to more suitable for suck legs roads and put in a solid 2 hours of feeling like shit. Would I have been happier NOT riding? I doubt, so I rode. Better to ride and feel like shit that to not ride and feel like shit for not riding.

As much as Saturday rocked in the saddle, today was just sort of "there." I sort of find the day after a singletrack binge always has me feeling a tad let down. Singletrack is like the Big-O of riding. Sure, you can ride and have fun without it, just like you can "fight crime" without the Big-O, but to quote no one at all... "it just ain't the same."

Later.

Gettin' My Spätzle On

2011-09-17T16:38:00.007-04:00

Lots of xxcmag.com work yesterday, and just not giving a flying eph, had me not riding, but saving energy for Germanfest over in Big Rapids. The food was just amazing, as you can tell by the amount I ate...

I think that is about 14 pounds of food, but DAMN it was good and the sauerkraut lit my gas track up, or should I say it lit my bedroom up enough to drive Wifey to the spare bedroom before we even went to bed. TMI? Get over it.

Even the HB beer was good and I am usually not a fan of German beer (it's the malt, I don't dig German malt), but the Dunkel was very good and fueled by the lederhossen and band.

The event was a little pricey and drinks were limited to just 3 beers (it was some sort of church I don't belong to event), but they did it up right and it was a good time, and I would do it again. Especially since the cash they were making went to the school. So that's cool.

I have to say I really dig Spätzle. Reminds me a bit of halusky (my people's food). I think I would like to try to make it. Then again maybe I should first try to do Grandma Helen proud and master haluski. I swear, like it was yesterday I can remember walking in her tiny little house, smelling the cabbage, and walking into the kitchen to see her cast iron skillet with mismatched lid cooking away the haluski. Of course I would help myself, and of course she would yell at me. "Jason... Ppppplease, just wait. Patience! Patience!" LOL! R.I.P. GMH, R... I... P... .

With a belly full (x5) of Spätzle, sausage, cabbage, pickles, beer and God knows what, I rested well last night and headed off to the MMCC trails today (my local killer singletrack), to throw down some laps, to which I did 3 and 30+ miles of singletrack. It was titz.

The weather continues to rock (mid 60s and sunny seems the norm of late), the trails continue to be super fast, and I continue to LOVE my Salsa Spearfish (in case you didn't notice, it was LOVE, not love). I would love, love, love to lighten it up just a tad, but I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, to lighten my own fattening ass up more.

This is why starting Monday I am on the Slimfast and (legal??) amphetamine diet as I attempt to get my face not to look like the belly of a dead, bloated and ready to pop road kill deer. Screw food, this is ALLLLLL motivated by narcissism. And I'm fine with that. 20 pound, then I will eat real food and drink again (this all starts Monday of course, give m one more weekend of pleasure). Of course if I race, on a weekend, then I will allow myself the pleasure of beer. Life is too short to not.

Lastly, I FINALLY got some new riding shoes....

FINALLY... It's been YEARS since I had new kicks. I'm not a fan of buckles (they always break for me), but the good price that Motorless Motion here in MP gave me and the fact that unlike some other shoes I recently tried on, they fit! Fitting is a bonus. They are also the first pair of shoes that I have ever had with a carbon sole. I could not believe the added stiffness! I was stoked. Might have to play with my cleat position. It felt about 98% right today.

OK, time for some relaxing. After a week of riding, and getting XXC Magazine #13 out (did you get it yet?? You really should 'cause it's the best ever. Seriously), I'm ready to chill my ass out, rid and drink beer before I start my coked up (not at all) super model diet. You so know this is going to fail miserably.

Later.

Spear Fishing

2011-09-15T19:57:00.004-04:00

I was able to squeeze a ride at MMCC in today, so that was cool. It was also cool, because it was cool, a high of 60 cool. Arm/knee warmers would have been overkill, but a base layer was a nice addition.

Did two laps, plus a twist of some XC ski trail path to get a little over 2 hours of riding in before I had to spring home (via the xB) at 80 mph to get some more work done before it was time to fetch the B-Man at school.

Unlike this post there is some quality, actual endurance related posts up over on the xxcmag.com blog. BTW did you know that XXC #13 is out and available for purchase (if you desire?). It is. Thanks.

Later.

Why Bother To Catch Up Time

2011-09-14T17:11:00.007-04:00

I rode today. BFD. I crossed the chain on a deep gravel climb (AKA a small hill made harder by deep gravel). I'll do it again. 'Cause that's how gangsta I am.

Then I had a 5 minute wait in the middle of a dirt road while three big ass, big teethed dogs with big swingin' balls growled, barked and snorted at me. One dog got bored and went to lick a turd with his "a dog's mouth is cleaner than human's" tongue. Then one decided I wasn't the type he wanted to stick his teeth into and walked off to pee on the flowers, but the last fucker stayed for like EVER. If I had mace I would have maced him.... or a taser... OHHHHH!!! That would have freaking rocked! "I'LL TASE YOU FIDO, I'LL TASE YOUR RIGHT NOW!!!" Fucking dogs man. I love 'em, but I also hate 'em.

Back at the end of that dirt road SOMEWHERE under those threatening but rainless clouds is where the hounds of hell were. I'll be back... with a TASER!!!

I started today with arm warmers. Then I got hot so I rolled 'em down. 10 minutes later I felt too goth kid with the look and stopped to stuff them in my jersey pocket. The middle one, right between the love handles so as to insure they wouldn't pop out. Nothing secures like two fatty globs of flesh.

I call this pic "Red Barn," because the fence is white.

I gotta go pee.

Work, followed by dirt (trail) tomorrow, Oktoberfest on Friday, and more dirt trails on Sattttturday.

If I cared, I would be wondering what is going on at Interbike. Not sure anything is.

Later.

SUBMIT

2011-09-13T19:50:00.003-04:00

Busy day, got XXC #13 out the digital door and public. Time to breathe before I submit to the challenge of starting the 2012 XXC Magazine race schedule. Luckily a friend helped me out with some of it while I was i-ballz deep in #13. Thanks Ben.

Need to get a ride in tomorrow. Been two days. I feel like shit. It will be gravel 'cause I can hit that by riding out my front door, thus maxing my ride time.

Later.

Slow Is What's Needed

2011-09-12T21:28:00.002-04:00

After a week of working my ass off on XXC #13 (due out Tuesday I hope!), riding a lot and eating even more, today was a welcome day off the bike to chill and finish off the mag and house stuff. I could have used more sleep, but who couldn't, right?

Few things on my mind bike wise. Mostly to do with riding and racing on gravel and dirt roads. One is the new Specialized bike I saw- The CruX Comp Disc Apex . Thing is pretty sweet! And would make a great bike for Ultra CX type racing. I would probably change up some gearing on a bike like that to make it more fat, old and slow guy friendly, but a race type frame with discs is something what would be pretty sweet. A similar bike is also coming from the QBP owned company Foundry Bikes. They have a carbon CX bike with disc brakes called the Auger. You can read more about it on the XXC Blog [HERE].

For CX racing (which I do very little to none of) I would never really think to much about disc brakes. Seems like it would be hauling around some extra weight for no reason. But for gravel racing and maybe more importantly Ultra CX type riding (Think: Southern Cross, Hilly Billy Roubaix, 3 Peaks USA, Iron Cross, etc.,) a bike that could ACTUALLY stop when coming down a steep ass forest road just might be a good idea. For that matter I would like to be able to stop on flat ass central Michigan roads!

Having said all that I am pretty happy with my Jake The Snake CX bike. And I recently got wind of some brakes that MIGHT be worth a look into rather than moving to the expensive upgrade of a disc specific frame. The TRP CX 9 Cross Brake. I think a move to brakes like these and maybe some slight gear changes and I would have the makings of a kick ass monster/jungle/ultra cross bike without spending coin (that I don't have) on a new bike (that I don't need).

But who doesn't like new bikes. They're the best.

I really should go to bed rather than type this shit.

Later.

Weekend: Part One

2011-09-11T18:00:00.002-04:00

It seems that the past week was divided into five segments: Riding, eating, sleeping, drinking beer and working. Not necessarily in that order. I got in over 12 hours of ride time this week, which for a shlep like me is a pretty big deal.

The best part of the weekend was riding Hanson Hills yesterday. I could blather, but I gotz no time. Here's the pics.

I got a 45 mile gravel ride in today, but as I just said in a very slang, embarrassing for a 40 year old man to type it way- I gotz no time. Will blather tomorrow if I finish XXC #13 up.

Later.

The Hard 40

2011-09-08T20:08:00.004-04:00

I was able to get out today on the dirt roads. Good ride in some kick ass sunshine, but the wind gusts were a real kick in the junk. "There's no hills" they say about this place, well the wind more than makes up for that. Nothing like going 11 mph on a CX bike on a false flat. Just a steady wind tunnel filled with white noise turned up to 11. No make that 20! Damn you can't hear shit with it blowing.

Oh well, I''ll take the wind in exchange for sun, dry weather and low traffic roads. On second hand, I shouldn't say too much, 'cause traffic was a bitch today...

West Pleasant Valley Rd., was Amish-cart-tastic today. I averaged like one cart every 13.3 miles. I can't take this! Traffic can really be a ride buzz kill. Ha!

Immediately upon returning it was back to work. I am SO close to finishing XXC #13 I can taste it. Right now it tastes like bile and the beginnings of a bleeding ulcer, but it will rock in the end, which should be in a few days. Woot!

Taking tomorrow off the bike since I had a nice 6+ hours so far this week, and hope to get out for an extended mountain bike ride on Saturday. Giddy.

Later.

Mile Marker 4

2011-09-07T16:08:00.004-04:00

Tuesday was the first day of school. Jesus, not for me, for B-Man! If it were for me I think I would just lay down in traffic. Not a fan of school, and I did terribly whilst in it. Go figure how I ended up so wildly successful. It just goes to show that any almost failed high school student can become a success. By "success," I of course mean I somehow manage to feed myself, and have a great family even if a part time McDonald's employee brings home a bigger pay check than me. I sort of miss getting a pay check. Sigh.

Annnnnway, lucky for me B-Man has Wifey's brain power, and loves school, or at least tolerates it and does real well. Blah, blah, blah, yesterday was the first day of school, and it was also a day for me to pump out a ton of work on XXC #13. I SHOULD be able to publish next week if all goes well. Then I can stop being such a dick. I get a tad high strung come publishing time. Sorry.

Since I worked most of the the holiday weekend, I was randy for some time on the bike today. So two laps at MMCC on the Spearfish was in order. Two quick 10.5 mile laps and I was feeling great (mentally), it was nice to blow out the pipes.

There is a section of trail that I look forward to every time I ride at MMCC. It comes just after Mile Marker 4. If you click the pic, you can see the marker, if you don't it just looks like a bunch of trees and dirt.

After that mile marker, there is a good mile or two of tight ass, twisty singletrack through the trees, that you can just sit (if you're on a bike such as the lovely Spearfish) and hammer, winding your way through trees with not an inch to spare. It's just the best. It's one of those I "heart" mountain biking moments, every time. EVERY time. If you don't get all ticklish in the crotchial regions riding singletrack, there's just something wrong with you. WRONG I SAY!

Once my crotchial regions were sufficiently tickled, I headed back home via 3 turns and a hunk of 127 to get some more work done and eventually get the now in school for two days B-Man.

And that's about it. You know every day I tell myself that I won't blog anymore, that I should just stop, that it's embarrassing. But then I do. Strange. Issues.

Later.

2 Down, 2 To Go

2011-09-06T19:04:00.005-04:00

During the late summer I did a ride on the North Country Trail with my friend Chris. A few miles into the ride I realized that my Fizik Nisene HP saddle was cracked in half. The saddle flexed up and down the whole ride, often forcing my chamois into my junk mail in a fashion that cause said junk mail to become inflamed and bloody. Sort of like taking an eraser to a cheese grater. Not good.

Being that I run the same saddle on all four of my bikes, I was able to make a swap and it was no big deal. Then yesterday as I bumped, cajoled and slammed the Jake across the dirt roads I heard a crack. Yep, saddle #2 is now cracked in half in the same place as the other. Frig.

Today, through the not really magic at all of eBay I ordered up two new ones. Thank God they're not all that expensive and people seem to get rid of them all the time. My nads must be the some of the few nads that dig this saddle. (It seems as if I like typing 'nads')

Lucky for me the saddle have broke in the hard plastic inside, not the rails, so no ride has come to a catastrophic junk slicing end.

This is all I got.

Later.

In Like A Lion

2011-09-05T20:59:00.007-04:00

As if on cue, Fall came in like a lion today. Or is all that shit spring stuff? Either way I went from sweating like a baked ham under a 95 degree heat lamp 2 days ago, to 55 degrees and my baked ham chubby boy arms stuffed into arm warmers, with a stiff 20 mph fall wind blowing right through my fattening bodice. The only thing keeping me from putting my head under bus was A. We had an INCREDIBLE summer here this year, and B., it's going to be sunny and in the 70s for like the next 10 days. Can't bitch about that. Orrrrr can I??? No, I can't.

Regardless of what the NEXT 10 days hold, TODAY I had to find what the hell I did with my too small arm warmers from last season, so as to ride and not freeze to death.

I found 'em.

I had to sort of make good time today because we had tickets to the Great Lakes Loons game, so after about 10 trips to the can (I'm fighting some stomach issues, to which I blame the disgusting invention that IS the hydration pack), I got on the cross bike and headed for the dirt roads.

The 40 miles of gravel was good MOST of the time (as long as I went South or West) but the rest of the time I got a wind blowing at me that made me want to get off my bike, walk into the mighty Chip and be done. The wind IS my hills. I love it. Um, no, actually I hate it, I would rather have hills.

Once home, showered and warmed up, it was off to the Loons game...

It was awesome as usual, even though they lost. Who knew you could have so much MORE fun at an 'A' ball team's game than an MLB game. Great time and cheap as hell. Plus B-Man got autographs after the game and that made him super happy.

This was their last game of the year. Anxious for next year already.

Time to get some sleep. The first day of school an a 6 a.m. wake up comes tomorrow. Ug!!!

Later.

All It Took Was A Mention

2011-09-03T10:00:00.003-04:00

I should have known better... Just like one should never talk about how long it's been since they have had a flat, one should never talk about the incredible streak of amazing weather they are enjoying. I violated that rule and not only did I get chased home by a storm during at Hanson Hills on Friday, I woke up today to some serious wrath of God type thunderstorms which are continuing as I type. Dark as night, pissing down thick streams of water, and blowing like a $5 hooker.

Luckily, I did get up to Hanson Hills yesterday, and I did get about 20 miles of great singletrack in before I got chased home. Truth be told, my legs were a bit dead from the 92 degree gravel ride the day before, so pulling the plug was not that big a deal. I raced at Hanson Hills twice this season: The Hanson Hills 100 and The Log Splitter, but I have never just rode the set loops there. Damn was I missing out! Those races hit some of the loops, and some of them in different directions, but the set loops are some great stuff and totally worth the hour drive north.

Since the spring (at least it seems like that to me), they have added more signage and a couple reroutes to the loops and it makes for some great riding with easy to follow signs. No wandering around the woods taking dead end trails and riding the same trail 15 times wondering where the f*ck you are. Yesterday I did the 11 mile Outer Loop (red signs) and then a second loop on the 10 mile Main Loop (yellow signs).

In my mind that morning I wanted to do at least 3 loops and make my drive worth while, but as I got to the top of ski area with about 1 mile left in my second loop, the strong wind that was present through the entire ride got even stronger, and the woods got a bit darker. It was time to go. Got back to the car, packed up PDQ, got down the road about a mile or two when it started pouring, lightning, thunder, strong wind, etc., etc.,.

Pulling the plug and heading home was a wise choice. So here it is Saturday on a holiday weekend, and I am typing this dross and working on the next issue of XXC Magazine. Might be for the best, as I have a lot to do, and tired legs. But still, remind me to not get all cocky about great weather again.

Later.

Lost Keys & Slapped Bitz

2011-09-01T18:39:00.008-04:00

B-Man has been off on a week long adventure visiting grandparents in PA, so I have some extra time in between working on XXC #13 and spending kid free time with Wifey. The work part has been mostly me pulling out my hair and the kid free time spending has been mostly us sitting around talking about how much we miss B-Man. Not cool. But there IS a cool lining in there somewhere, and that is that I have a bit of extra time to get some rides in without feeling all rushed.

Having said that, the weather peeps were calling for a dog ball hot day here today with temps in the low 90s, so I wanted to get out sort of early and get in the woods up at MMCC for a few laps.. After a few emails, a few layout tweaks and a quick blog post I was off.

As soon as I find my keys.

Looking... looking.... looking.... 10 minutes later... Looking... looking... looking...

Email Wifey to see if she took them by accident and she was just off to a hearing and didn't have time to check. Oh eph it, time-is-a-wastin', so dirt in the woods became dirt roads in the sun PDQ. Works for me either way, but I would have liked to not have wasted so much time.
I found a new way to get to the dirt roads that cuts out any riding through campus, and while I am disappointed to not be seeing taught, nubile co-eds having tickle fights and car washes in bikinis (that never happened outside my mind), I am stoked to avoid some extra stop signs, frat boys, and pedestrian traffic. The new way takes me through a paved trail in the park to a cross walk with a light to get across M-20, and then just 2 miles to dirt. Shhweet.

One of my most hated dirt roads that I ride is Millbrook Road on the west side of S. Winn Rd. UG!! That thing is always, ALWAYS a nut slapping wash board of a road. There's no winning on that thing. Sit and power you get sodomized by the saddle, hover above and your nuts (or your va-jay-jay if you got one) get slapped around, and if you get up out of the saddle, control is lost and you fish tail all over the place from bumps to sand. UG! But today it was better. By better I mean worse... much worse (at least before it gets better). They laid fresh gravel down, but have yet to grade it. It must have been 6 inches deep. Hopefully once it's graded it will loose the stutter bumps. My hands and man bitz would be very appreciative. But for today it made for some slow and tricky bike handling.

Luckily there are choices out there, so I jumped on the first left I could and weaved through the back roads of Isabella County to get in a quick 40ish mile ride. It was pretty hot, and my bottles that were filled with ice when I left the house were either drained or the temperature of bum's piss by the end. But I refuse to complain about the heat, since before you know it I will be dealing with frozen bottles and numb toes.

When I got back home after lunch my keys were there with a note from Wifey. She took them by accident. She owes me! Good thing the boy is out of state. Now where did I put my Batman costume? :P
This pic has some of my fave things in it. The bike that gets my my gravel fix (for now), and one of my Elete water bottles (FYI, there is no Elete in it, it's super awesome CarboRocket 333). Best bottles I own, sadly I only have two, they're 2+ years old and hanging on by a thread. The sides are about as thin as a plastic bag and ready to give way at any moment. But they are the perfect size and the perfect nozzle(?). I saw them online today, but I can't tell from the pic if they are the SAME as the old ones. Plus $10 in shipping for 2 water bottles? Yikes! I'll find others.

FYI: It is MANDATORY that road signs in the
country have bullet holes in them.

But it is optional to take the time scratch Fuck You
on a sign that is out in the middle of nowhere.

On the positive side... note the sky in that top "Stop" photo. I have to say after a lifetime of Western PA weather (grey sky, rain, partly cloudy, partly sunny, white sky,) I have never experience a summer like this one here in Michigan. I think I can count on my fingers how many days of ride ruining rain we got, and when we did the trails (at least the ones near me) were rideable the next day. On top of that- BLUE sky, REAL blue sky. Yeah, last winter was a ball buster here, but this summer more than made up for it IMHO. One of the best ride/weather summers I have ever experienced. I hope the fall will be as kind. As for the winter and it's potential ball busting... I plan to embrace it this year with better cold weather riding gear and new XC skis. I will also be on a doctor (me) prescribed regiment of booze and pills.

OK, because I miss him like poop and am anxious for his return in a couple days, I end with a pic of me and B-Man from vacation a couple weeks ago. Sorry. I know I'm a shmuck.

Later.

Feeling Less Stupid

2011-08-30T19:04:00.005-04:00

Last week, as I mentioned here, I went for short hike. It was nice, but it felt really stupid (why walk when you can ride?). I also mentioned the only other thing I feel equally stupid doing is racing 'cross (why ride in a park when you can ride in the woods or on dirt roads?). Well I found something that I feel ever stupider doing-- Running.

Like hiking and 'cross, I sort of like running (jogging), but I more like OTHER people doing it (like hiking and 'cross). Sure, I've run on the treadmill, but there I can hide my lack of form, technique, skill, coordination, etc., Yesterday I ran outside. Dear God.

Cardio wise I have no really problem, But damn, I'm was moving like 2 mph. Why not just walk? Or hike! I felt so freaking stupid.

I do this about once ever 1.5 years; think I'm going to take up running. It's just never going to happen. Not as long as I own bikes. I know I will probably go again soon, and I have no idea why. Stupid running. Hell, I can't even run the whole time, I go one block run, one block walk to get my muscles used to it. That makes me feel even dumber.

"Look, fatty fatterson can't run more than one block! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"F*ck you, I CHOOSE not to run!"

Then when I DO start my run, I flail and sort of shuffle and I'm never real shore what do with my arms. It's a scene.

Today though, I felt way less stupid. Not because my running improved (f*ck that), no I felt way less stupid 'cause I got on the bike and in the woods for 21 miles of woodsy, non running, non hiking goodness.

Yeah, my legs felt like I was caned by angry mob of old men due to the stupid run, but once they got warmed up, it was aces. I heart mountain biking.

The path to happiness and being less stupid is paved with...
well it's not paved, it's just dirt.

Later.

Making Up For Lost Miles

2011-08-29T19:12:00.004-04:00

Saturday's ride was a good time, but not really what I had in mind, so I needed to make up for lost miles and time on Sunday. The easiest way to do that, especially after sleeping in late, is to hit the dirt and gravel roads. So that's what I did.

Did a 52ish mile ride with an insane 845 feet of elevation gain! By insane, I of course refer to the suckness of the elevation gain and lack there of. Damn.

There is no way I can talk up 845 feet of elevation gain over 52 miles, but I will try. This particular loop/square/lollipop/figure 8 of a ride has many lumps, hills (I hasten to call them "climbs") and slow sandy grinds, including one mapmyride.com issued Cat 5 climb! Ha! Even with the hills and sand, there was never a need to shift out of the big ring up front (although I do have a 44 on it rather than a 46). There were a couple hills that it may have been more efficient to have done so rather than stand and mash through the loose gravel and sand. This technique made for some tired legs, but in the end I think it helps. Where back in PA, I might have shifted into my small ring and spun up a climb, here I take them out of the saddle.

OK, so what did we learn here? There is not much climbing on my gravel rides, but because I pretty much suck, the Isabella County lumps sort of hurt. Also, I think I failed at talking up the ride. Ha!

Having said all that, it was a nice ride and these rides even with their lack of big climbs have helped me stay in fairly good race condition (please note, that "good race condition" for me means that I can still finish in the mid pack!).

Speaking of the gravel roads, etc., This Sunday (September 4th) commemorates my first ride (other than the 2009 Lumberjack) on Michigan soil, which also the last time I rode my road bike on Michigan soil! All the rides I've done here have been on my mountain bikes or my Jake The Snake.

This all has me thinking of ...

A. Selling my road bike.

B. Making some upgrades to the Jake (brakes, pedals, crank, stem a a few other items).

or

C. Doing A. and then upgrading to a more dedicated gravel oriented bike (there are more than a few yummy ones out there). While I wish the Jake had disc brakes, some better stopping pads might help too and keep the weight down. Something that would be harder to do with some of the disc brake gravel rigs out there. Too bad V brakes aren't more cross frame friendly (BTW I have used the Problem Solvers Travel Agent adapter on a cross rig in the past, worked pretty OK, but was sort of a bitch too.

Most likely D. will happen, and D. is I shut up and keep riding the bikes I have.

Today (Monday) I ran, outside. It was stupid and I hate it. There was some walking involved since I am just introducing running back to my 40 year old body. Did I mention it was stupid. Tomorrow I ride.

Later.